What's Love Got to Do With It? REQUEST FOR ADVICE.

Make sure she takes her meds! (Also, is she just be a drama person and play-acting crazy, or really fucking nuts?)

She's tnot the only one with problems. Run like the wind, from the girl and to a shrink.

'You can reach me at either'.

She is just different from the other girls. The other girls look at me and think of boring things. She makes me think that my life before was crazy.

I think I know that girl. Run, man, run.

i suggest you see how things go, I mean is she actually currently mental. Does she just have a family history of being mental? In what sense is she mental, because you know theres "a little wild and crazy" mental and then theres "attempting to jump out of your car door as it speeds along the highway" mental (My younger sister tried this with her husband in southern california last week)

I don't know, do you think you're able to distance yourself from her at this point or are you already too involved?

It's odd. It's not full on drama all the time. But last weekend freaked me out.

You can't save her. That's really what you're asking, whether you know it or not. And she sure as shit isn't going to save you, either.

"Dying" = in the long run, we all are; people who get self destructive and make themselves bleed are headed that way faster.

The last week has been hard.

It was the first party we had went to as a 'couple' and introduce her to my friends. Maybe the pressure was too much? I don't know I've asked myself a thousand questions in the E.R. and a thousand since.

She's the first girl I've been with that sees more than marriage/materialism.

I had to release some pressure tonight. I do appreciate it.

Yes, some forms of mental illness can bring with them a lot of hard work and stress for loved ones, if there's risk for example of lifethreatening or criminal behaviour, for example.

Thats not to say everyone who's "mental" will automatically be a) suicidal or b) act in a destructive (either self or outwardly) manner.

Question Dude - if she really gives your life a richness, and makes you happy, and you feel strong enough to want to be with her even if its gonna be plenty a rolllercoaster, I say go for it man.

Talk to her about it; tell her the broken glass scene reminded you of a warped Tennesse Williams play.. but keep light about it or she'll get strange and stalk you.

I wish last weekend did not happen.

My younger sister and her husband have one of the sweetest relationships ever, it's beautiful to watch how much they care for each other however in the last years she's tried to throw herself out of a moving car, punched a glass panel in a door (and ended up in the ER too) and jumped out a window three stories up (once again resulting in a trip to hospital). I myself have been in a psychiatric ward a few years back and I have two cousins who have schizophrenia, however each one of us has been in or are still in committed loving relationships. It takes a compassionate understanding person to deal with it, but it can and does work.

If you do this right, you're in for an ugly, painful couple of months, but you'll come out much, much happier than you can imagine right now. I wish you loads of luck, and stay strong.

I did it. Man it was hard. We went out and she guessed it before I could say anything. She asked me if we were going to break up. I said yes. She slapped me. Man she can hit. She got up and said 'You know what, you've just lost the best thing that you will ever have'. I know I should have stayed silent but I agreed. I felt like I was. Am. She then said, 'Really'. She was honestly surprised that she almost had me crying to see her walk away. But we sat down and hashed it out.

See, two things, I'm from a line of West Point grads -- I did not want to go and devised a heavy compromise. And all my life I've been compromising with my family so I thought I could compromise with her. The compromise is this: When I go to school she gets help. She stops doing cocaine. She goes to therapy. She gets help. In that year we communicate only through written letters. No telephone calls. No emails. No visits. We see nobody else. At the end of the year we see if we've gotten help and if the situation has changed.

I know its not exactly what I had set out to do. But I've never been in love before.

But however when I checked my email I had over a hundred emails from her. Frightened and desperate but I can deal with that as she is voicing what I'm feeling but can't say.

I think this might work.

The compromise can't be that bad.

I'm going to be leaving the city soonish. Maybe time and distance will help and you can see what happens. I mean, if she is truly in love with me and I her, it keeps, does it not?

My whole life has been turned upsidedown. Friends who were my friends vanish in the space of days. Her friends are 'arty' and I don't really connect. I can't just abandon her. I can't. I'll ignore the emails and keep to the specifications of our original agreement.

Who said: 'Humilty is endless'?

sincerely.

I need to think.

Dude, YOU need help. (Sorry if that sounds harsh, but I mean it seriously). This is not normal, and a person that does things that are *that* extreme is not equipped to be in any kind of relationship at all! Therefore you shouldn't add to her madness, and you shouldn't try at all. Look her up in a year or two and see how she's doing. In the meantime, don't bog yourself down with needless pain AND give her something to obsess over.

If the situation were less extreme I would say give it a chance, but what you are describing is absurd.

In a period of which would leave anyone in an anxious state.

Putting her hand thru a window?

After three months of complete bliss. Why do you think I'm confused as to what to do?

Giving you the phone number of mental hospital saying "try me there"?

It was a joke she had made.

I'm not going to go through the whole history. Suffice to say it was a real relationship until last weekend when a pretty big hole cracked it. And yes, I realised that something was 'off' -- but thought maybe it was an anxiety-related issue. I did not understand how big the problem was until last weekend. I'm in love. Obviously, it was not suppose to be this way.

I'm not going to defend it, anymore.

I am working on a way to fix it. Or leave it.

I just feel really guilty. I lied to the Doctor in E.R. because she begged me to tell him it was an "accident". I just feel bad. He even pulled me aside and I privately had to convince him. I told her parents it was an accident. I remember thinking how relieved they looked that it was not a 'situation'.

When did I turn into this person? When did she turn into that person? Why do people seem to be changing so fast? Who knows anyone anyway?

I'm out for a walk.

Yikes! I know you're not really asking for advice anymore but this is a bad, bad sign.

It's over.

We met up to talk about things and then I stopped her before it went further. We met down at the lake. Driving down there I actually was going to ask her to marry me or at least live with me when I went to school but something just possessed me, before she said anything I just told her it was over. That it was over and I'm going to get in my car and that is that. She told that I was going to kill her as I was walking away. I drove for hours. Man so many weird thoughts were going through my head: suicide, people who I thought I knew, becoming a hermit and not bothering with anyone anymore. I decided to drive until, until, not until I felt like a human, but until I felt like an asshole for doing what I did for leaving so quickly. I did not even know where I was! I threw out the ringing mobile. In the country by the end of it and went for a walk in a field and thought it would be nice to start life over again. I think I might go away for awhile. I have no real responsibilities at the moment. I think I need to get away. I've still got it bad (I've been listening to the two cds that she left at my house - Low and Joni Mitchell's Blue like they are the holy grail) but I need to clear my head of the intensity. I don't know who I am anymore and not sure about anyone else and the world is a weird place right now. I'm thinking Los Angeles.

It does hurt alot but it is better than being numb.

Ace idea. After all the hurt, you need to reassess who you are and what you want to do now....before you can even think of meeting another. (As much as it hurts now, eventually you'll heal enough to even consider the idea.)

Hang in, dude. Suicide is never a solution, so halt that. We can't give you much, but the support is there whenever you want it.

xpost

From the information you presented, it appears you may have saved yourself a considerable amount of heartbreak.

An ex of mine told me I was "lucky" he hadnt driven off the road into a tree in despair after I broke it off with him (similar reasons really - he was extremely depressed and not making ANY effort at all to fight it, and I couldnt cope). FIve years on he's fine of course, it was all words.

Another ex spent days emailing me he was going to go gas himself in the car. He was in another country and knew full well I couldnt do a thing if he was serious.

I know I did (and still will) defend mental illness, but coping with someone using their problems against me as a weapon and being clingy to the point of suffocation gives me the fear after one too many guyslike that in my life...

I hope things work out for the best for you QG :)

What's love got to do with it? I don't know.

Mark.