Open Letters To Famous People

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Dear Busta Rhymes,

Please record a cover of DEVO's "Whip It."

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 10 February 2004 00:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Tony Blair,

I heard you had halitosis. Is this true and does it make you upset sometimes?

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 00:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Lenin, Vladimir Ilyich, you baaastard, I heard you were dead. Please confirm ASAP!

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 00:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear DEVO,

Please record a cover of Busta Rhymes' "C'mon All My Niggaz, C'mon All My Bitches."

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Tuesday, 10 February 2004 00:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Jamie Lee Curtis,

Is it true? Well, is it?

― andy, Tuesday, 10 February 2004 00:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Richard Gere,

Is it true? Well, is it?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 00:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Mike Piazza,

Is it true? Well, is it?

― phil-two (phil-two), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 00:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Nick Barmby,

Is it true? Well, is it?

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 00:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Arsene Wenger,

All is known. Flee.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 01:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Mike Piazza,

Please record a cover of Busta Rhymes' "C'mon All My Niggaz, C'mon All My Bitches."

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Tuesday, 10 February 2004 01:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Christian Bale,

You are being watched. The time machine is almost ready.

Love, N's Admiring Fans.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 01:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Dr. Emmett Brown,

Your stupid flux capacitor idea is a crock of shit.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 01:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Cate Blanchett,

Get cast in a good movie.

― Leee Majors (Leee), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 01:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Sean Penn,

Do you ever think about Spiccoli?

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 01:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Sauron

Buy a monocle. It would look cool.

― omg, Tuesday, 10 February 2004 01:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Orlando Bloom,

Go on. Admit it. It'd be the funniest fucking thing ever.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 01:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Steven Seagal,

If you're so hard, right, fight me and my mates Geezer Gav and Rough Ronnie. Then we'll see how tough you are.

― Nutty Nigel (Nutty Nigel), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 01:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear CNN,

Do you think you could replay Howard Dean's scream one more time for us folks who are in the back row?

― jim wentworth (wench), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 05:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Richard Dreyfuss,

I crave you.

― Emilymv (Emilymv), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 06:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Joan Rivers, Rosie O'Donnell, and Lenny Kravitz,

Sleep with one eye open.

― roger adultery (roger adultery), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 06:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Famous and Rich People EveryWhere:

Send me $500 each. You won't miss it.

― Huckleberry, Tuesday, 10 February 2004 06:53 (twenty-two years ago)

http://mcsweeneys.net/links/openletters/forlani.html

― Enrique (Enrique), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 11:26 (twenty-two years ago)

poor pretty Claire...

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 11:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Ashley Judd: please stop making movies.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 11:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Steve, I can see we're gonna have problems, women wise... Don't listen to the hataz Claire, I'm repping ya fully as ever.

― Enrique (Enrique), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 11:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Mata Hari,
Reincarnate!

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 11:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Claire Forlani = Box Office Poison.
If she was in a film with Ben Affleck, even their parents would not go see it.

― Pete (Pete), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 11:45 (twenty-two years ago)

it's not her fault! not even Brad Pitt and Sir 'Opkins could stop Meet Joe Black being rubbish

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 11:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Okay you explain why Mystery Men bombed?
(The Medallion - ha ha).

― Pete (Pete), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 11:47 (twenty-two years ago)

She is indeed Box Office Poison but so's like Isabelle Huppert. I've never seen Ben Affleck (or Claire Forlani) in a lead role.

― Enrique (Enrique), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 11:48 (twenty-two years ago)

I haven't heard of twelve of the first (latest) thirteen films on her IMDB page. How is she still getting work?

Haha she was one of the "parts" of S1m0ne!

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 11:49 (twenty-two years ago)

that list in full (one of these kids is not like the others)

Lauren Bacall
Mary J. Blige
Ernest Borgnine
Marlene Dietrich
Claire Forlani
Greta Garbo
Rita Hayworth
Audrey Hepburn
Katharine Hepburn
Grace Kelly
Veronica Lake
Sophia Loren
Jayne Mansfield
Marilyn Monroe
Rachel Roberts

(all credited as "Simone wishes to thank the following for their contribution to the making of Simone")

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 11:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh right, that film where the main lady is a composite of lots of other sexy ladies. That wouldn't work would it? The best record ever wouldn't be a mixture of Bach and Rocy Music, I don't think.

― Enrique (Enrique), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 11:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Mary J. Blige?

Surely a mixture of Bach and Roxy Music = Electric Light orchestra. Best music evah!

― Pete (Pete), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 11:58 (twenty-two years ago)

bach and rocky music, yeah, that'd be sweet.

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 11:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Jeff Goldblum

Any chance you could play a wacky scientist in your next movie?

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 14:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Captain Kirk,

Watch out for Spock. I think he has an obsessive crush on you.

― My Huckleberry Friend (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 14:42 (twenty-two years ago)

hi RJG

; )

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 15:16 (twenty-two years ago)

What part of S1m0ne was Ernest Borgnine then?

― ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 23:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Ron Jeremy,

When will you accept there are younger princes to the "Porn King" throne?

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 23:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Johnny Depp:

I want to lick you like a lollipop.

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 23:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Jeff Goldblum,

Any chance you could not have a next movie?

― C J (C J), Monday, 16 February 2004 22:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Johnny Depp,
I hate you

― oops (Oops), Monday, 16 February 2004 22:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear J.Lo,

Just pick one guy and stick with him, eh?

― C J (C J), Monday, 16 February 2004 22:37 (twenty-two years ago)

"Claire Forlani = Box Office Poison.
If she was in a film with Ben Affleck, even their parents would not go see it. "
oh come on, i'm sure both of their parents saw mallrats.

― Felonious Drunk (Felcher), Monday, 16 February 2004 22:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Mark Sinker and Nitsuh,
Post on ILM again.

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Monday, 16 February 2004 22:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Mark Sinker,

I think The Wire needs you. Real bad.

Hugs & kisses,

Mike

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Monday, 16 February 2004 23:58 (twenty-two years ago)

dear kate beckinsale,
get out of my dreams and into my car.

love
todd

― todd swiss (eliti), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 00:12 (twenty-two years ago)

PS: Beep beep, yeah.

― NA (Nick A.), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 01:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Tom Waits:

Do a muppets album already

and

call me back about that thing.

Heart,

me.

― The Second Drummer Drowned (Atila the Honeybun), Monday, 23 February 2004 22:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear Mata Hari,
Reincarnate!

Oh... n-n-no, not necessarily as Sylvia Kristel

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Monday, 23 February 2004 22:39 (twenty-two years ago)

DEAR HANLE Y DEUS GENIE OF US,

EXIT YOUR ROMAN SHELL!

ILX (chickenbear! brigade)

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 23 February 2004 23:01 (twenty-two years ago)

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