Scott McLellan, moron

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When you make Ari Fleischer look good...

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 17:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Sorry, McClellan. Now I'm the moron too! Whee!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 17:42 (twenty-two years ago)

that thing is painful to read. all it's missing is aja.

― dyson (dyson), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 18:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Jesus, now I've got a migraine! McLellan clearly excelled in Politics 102: How to Avoid Answering A Simple Damn Question (or the "Nixon Defense").

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 18:20 (twenty-two years ago)

This is why Fleicher and McClellan, whatever you think of their politics, are actually pretty good at their jobs.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 18:23 (twenty-two years ago)

If their job title was a straightforward 'Paid Evader,' then hey.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 18:31 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm glad that fleischer is gone. McClellan seems far sloppier, and doesn't seem to have the press as cowed as Ari did.

― badgerminor (badgerminor), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 18:33 (twenty-two years ago)

But Spencer, we are all paying for this PR schmuckery. If they were that good at their jobs nobody would notice evasiveness and stonewalling nearly as much.

― suzy (suzy), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 18:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Actually, Suzy, that's because we (public) are actually searching for meaning behind the rhetoric these days, instead of simply believing the empty speeches.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 18:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey everybody - I didn't say what they did was for good! They're hired by their superior to be a buffer against the press, and they do that pretty well. I mean, think about the hoops this guy has to jump through!

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 18:43 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't think McClellan does do that pretty well, though. That was a crap performance on the transcript based on any standard.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 18:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Exactly. His political jumpshot needs work before he'll qualify as a major player.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 18:47 (twenty-two years ago)

hopefully his career, along with this adminstration, will be over before that could happen.

― badgerminor (badgerminor), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 18:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Just beautiful.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 13 February 2004 22:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I loathe Fleischer, but he was beyond excellent at his job, probably better than both McCurry and Lockhart, both of whom were very good. Either McClellan is amateur hour or there's some real substance here (or both). He's even worse with the visuals.

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Friday, 13 February 2004 23:01 (twenty-two years ago)

The great thing is that they can't get rid of him now.

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Friday, 13 February 2004 23:11 (twenty-two years ago)

God, who needs Negativland anymore? Just force a mic into McLellan's mouth.

― donut bitch (donut), Friday, 13 February 2004 23:27 (twenty-two years ago)

A:It's not even funny,

Q:That...

A:That's ridiculous.

Q:I'm talking about power, religion.

A:Power.

Q:Do you know how many...?

A:It's not even funny.

― donut bitch (donut), Friday, 13 February 2004 23:28 (twenty-two years ago)

McLellan's dad thinks LBJ had JFK killed.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Friday, 13 February 2004 23:30 (twenty-two years ago)

that's the same guy who wrote that recent book? holy mackarel! i didn't put that together. Lots of wingnuts come into the store to ask for it (but are too cheap to buy the hardcover, and storm out in a huff when we won't sell the book at a paperback price.)

― badgerminor (badgerminor), Friday, 13 February 2004 23:45 (twenty-two years ago)

his dad i mean. i should have known that detail.

Scott is great. He's going to fall into a sobbing puddle of piss if he gets anymore press gaggles like that.

― badgerminor (badgerminor), Friday, 13 February 2004 23:47 (twenty-two years ago)

If there's any justice in this world, McLellan remixes would circulate faster than the Dean ones.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Friday, 13 February 2004 23:52 (twenty-two years ago)

The White House is releasing to reporters (but not for publication? doesn't he give up his privacy interest by the release?) what is purported to be Bush's entire military file at this hour. Perhaps this is an attempt to delimit the story to avoid going where Helen was leading today - whether he performed community-service at PULL in order that a felony conviction be expunged from his record.

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Friday, 13 February 2004 23:53 (twenty-two years ago)

this ties into that new driver's license he received when he became governor of Texas?

― badgerminor (badgerminor), Friday, 13 February 2004 23:56 (twenty-two years ago)

and then he'll take you to court after that, cuz he the inspector

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Saturday, 14 February 2004 00:13 (twenty-two years ago)

"that's the same guy who wrote that recent book?"
"his dad i mean. i should have known that detail."

Yeah, it's a pretty weak book. i have no idea whether the premise is true or not (or partially true), but the book is horribly written.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 14 February 2004 02:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Helen Thomas has a taste of blood.

― badgerminor (badgerminor), Monday, 16 February 2004 17:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Helen Thomas is an overrated crank.

― don weiner, Monday, 16 February 2004 19:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Helen Thomas was OT fucking M right there!

― Orbit (Orbit), Monday, 16 February 2004 19:32 (twenty-two years ago)

and does that change that McCellan is a moron? No.

― badgerminor (badgerminor), Monday, 16 February 2004 19:47 (twenty-two years ago)

photoshop his head onto the moran guy pls.

― teeny (teeny), Monday, 16 February 2004 19:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't know that it needs to be photoshopped, McLellan probably is that guy.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Monday, 16 February 2004 20:03 (twenty-two years ago)

just another moran...

― hstencil, Monday, 16 February 2004 20:09 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.pmpnetwork.com/erin_moran/erin.jpg

Erin Moran

― donut bitch (donut), Monday, 16 February 2004 20:10 (twenty-two years ago)

more fun:

....

Q. Right. It was the very first question --

MR. McCLELLAN: The context of this discussion --

Q. The very first question, when he said, "entire record," the President said, "Yeah."

MR. McCLELLAN: Oh, John, let's look at the context of the discussion. The context of the discussion was clear about whether or not he had served while he was in Alabama. It was very clear.

Q. The first question was about entire --

MR. McCLELLAN: We can agree to disagree on this issue, but I think it was very --

Q. We're going to end up on the Daily Show again with this one.

MR. McCLELLAN: -- very clear about the context of the question.

― Kingfish Beatbox (Kingfish), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 16:17 (twenty-two years ago)

HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!!!

― donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 17:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Today's gaggle:

Q. Two questions, please. The Democratic candidates for the nomination have stopped attacking themselves and have been attacking --

MR. McCLELLAN: People are attacking themselves? (Laughter.)

Q. It's a jungle out there --

MR. McCLELLAN: I wish you would attack yourselves instead of me. (Laughter.)

Q. We love ourselves.

― Hunter (Hunter), Thursday, 19 February 2004 00:06 (twenty-two years ago)

WUV

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 19 February 2004 00:09 (twenty-two years ago)

I just saw that on C-SPAN. This was actually the first McClellan performance I've ever seen. I was tempted to start a thread just like this one, and was surprised to see this one on the new answers page. Good lord, who hired this beady-eyed tool? Like I said, I just saw him in action for the first time, and I miss Ari already.

― Stuart (Stuart), Thursday, 19 February 2004 00:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Message of the day - if Kerry is smart, he'll start drawing attention to this in the general.

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Thursday, 26 February 2004 17:14 (twenty-two years ago)

As always, an unusual (sad) man.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 26 February 2004 17:42 (twenty-two years ago)

one year passes...

An interesting story in that Podhoretz claims McClellan is behind it. That said, Podhoretz also proceeds to merrily rip McClellan a new one, and nobody could be more deserving (beyond his employers, of course).

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 3 November 2005 16:54 (twenty years ago)

Sounds to me like Norman Jr. wants a job at the White House.

― rasheed wallace (rasheed wallace), Thursday, 3 November 2005 17:21 (twenty years ago)

What better way to pitch your resume?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 3 November 2005 17:23 (twenty years ago)

McClellan isn't a very good press secretary, to put it mildly. He looks as though at any moment he is going to bolt from the podium and go running into the bathroom to throw up

hahaha

― _, Thursday, 3 November 2005 17:24 (twenty years ago)

IN SOVIET RUSSIA, WHITE HOUSE LEAK INFORMATION TO RUIN KARL ROVE CAREER

― _, Thursday, 3 November 2005 17:30 (twenty years ago)

You have just reminded me of Yakov Smirnoff's one good role (as Secretary of Defense in Buckaroo Banzai). Carry on.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 3 November 2005 17:31 (twenty years ago)

ned did you see "stealth" yet? so good

― _, Thursday, 3 November 2005 17:39 (twenty years ago)

"there aint blood in them quantum veins..."

― _, Thursday, 3 November 2005 17:39 (twenty years ago)

Slocki made the case for Stealth's knowing stupidity given the Buckaroo connection but I have a feeling I won't be able to watch the fucking thing until after this administration finally ends. Kinda like how I haven't wanted to watch Brazil since 9/11.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 3 November 2005 17:41 (twenty years ago)

its not really pro-america or anything, the govt tries to murder the hero all x-files style!!

― _, Thursday, 3 November 2005 17:42 (twenty years ago)

i mean the north korean stuff was disturbing but theres so, so much more

― _, Thursday, 3 November 2005 17:43 (twenty years ago)

The hero is the plane, I trust.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 3 November 2005 17:43 (twenty years ago)

what does brazil have to do with 9/11?

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 3 November 2005 17:43 (twenty years ago)

dude i'm so glad i'm not the only who loved stealth!!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 3 November 2005 20:52 (twenty years ago)

i just wrote my SECOND article about it!!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 3 November 2005 20:52 (twenty years ago)

what does brazil have to do with 9/11?

Not directly, for heaven's sake.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 3 November 2005 20:53 (twenty years ago)

oh man, Scott McClellan's breakdown will be a thing to watch.

― kingfish orange creamsicle (kingfish 2.0), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 21:40 (twenty years ago)

Hilarious.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 21:47 (twenty years ago)

four months pass...

Oh sweet hope.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 3 April 2006 16:29 (nineteen years ago)

so they're getting rid of the low-level stooges and yes-men. as if they're the problem.

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Monday, 3 April 2006 16:38 (nineteen years ago)

But it's change, which is good. *crickets*

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 3 April 2006 16:41 (nineteen years ago)

maybe the new press secretary will just shoot people. after he wings a couple, they'll show some respect.

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Monday, 3 April 2006 16:44 (nineteen years ago)

they've been wanting to get rid of John Snow for like two years, right?

― kingfish ubermensch dishwasher sundae (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 3 April 2006 17:14 (nineteen years ago)

yeah they couldn't find anyone decent who would take the job. same problem they're having with finding a new fema head.

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Monday, 3 April 2006 17:17 (nineteen years ago)

haha i just realized why the scott mcclellan/about-to-vomit thing is so funny - he looks like steve carrell in the old dana carvey 'waiters who are nauseated by food' sketch!!!

― ++++, Monday, 3 April 2006 17:22 (nineteen years ago)

I figure there will be a race to the door for some of Bush's staff so they can get on the other side and cash in while the boss is still signing the checks.

― Earl Nash (earlnash), Monday, 3 April 2006 23:36 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.vanityfair.com/features/general/060404fege01

― m coleman (lovebug starski), Tuesday, 4 April 2006 15:54 (nineteen years ago)

two years pass...

Morbs' boy Dennis Perrin posts choice excerpts from the book:

*Scooter Libby's late night frolics with hirsute teen girls, watching them smear hummus on each other's fuzzy faces while Libby masturbated into specimen cups, "to ensure future generations of greatness," as Libby often put it.

*Karl Rove's ghastly halitosis which, in McClellan's words, "inspired President Bush to reminisce about the Mexican prostitutes he frequented in his youth, speaking in a strained Spanish accent while dancing around Rove, snapping his fingers."

*Al Gore being bribed into conceding Florida in 2000, using secret funds channeled through the Saudi royal family and delivered personally to Gore by Merv Griffin.

*Ari Fleischer gargling with peroxide before each press briefing, having McClellan pinch his nipples for luck while clapping his hands and saying, "Groovemaster's comin' to get ya!"

*Dick Cheney's penchant for handing subordinates pornographic playing cards, then smirking, "That's me in the mask."

*Barbara Bush disrupting a cabinet meeting by letting loose her pet Gila Monsters, Candy and Spank, on the conference table, warning Colin Powell and Condi Rice that the lizards loved "dark meat" before serenading her "babies" with a strange lullaby about sun-baked rocks.

*President Bush's obsession with sodomizing Saddam Hussein. According to McClellan, "For weeks before the invasion, the president went into intimate detail about how he would, in his words, 'Fuck that sand merchant's shit pipe,' complete with humping gestures, graphic sex talk, and always ending with a very theatrical fake orgasm, his face twisted with pleasure, his tongue darting back and forth. Afterward, the president would mime zipping up his pants, then say to whoever was in the room, 'That's the plan, anyway.'"

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Thursday, 5 June 2008 20:48 (seventeen years ago)

Wha? Those excerpts aren't really in McLellan's book, right?

― Daniel, Esq., Thursday, 5 June 2008 20:52 (seventeen years ago)

Nah, Barbara's gila monsters are both named 'Jorge'.

― Michael White, Thursday, 5 June 2008 20:56 (seventeen years ago)

DP is trying to tell us little naifs, through the use of extreme obscenity, always a sign of superior intellectual ability, that Scotty McClellan is a drop in the bucket of the oozing corruption of official Washington, and we should just ignore this story, nothing to see there

― gabbneb, Thursday, 5 June 2008 21:33 (seventeen years ago)

*Dick Cheney's penchant for handing subordinates pornographic playing cards, then smirking, "That's me in the mask."

^^^^^ this was actually funny

― Mackro Mackro, Thursday, 5 June 2008 21:34 (seventeen years ago)

*Karl Rove's ghastly halitosis which, in McClellan's words, "inspired President Bush to reminisce about the Mexican prostitutes he frequented in his youth, speaking in a strained Spanish

^^^^^^^^ entirely possible ^^^^

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Thursday, 5 June 2008 21:36 (seventeen years ago)

this explains a lot

― jeff, Thursday, 5 June 2008 21:49 (seventeen years ago)

custos perrin

― gff, Thursday, 5 June 2008 22:00 (seventeen years ago)

tbh i didn't catch that it was bullshit until the third one down

― omar little, Thursday, 5 June 2008 22:27 (seventeen years ago)

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