"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you."

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Sigh. Was this ever a funny thing to say?

― Sam (chirombo), Thursday, 12 February 2004 10:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Is this the new "You don't have to be mad to work here but it helps"?

― Sam (chirombo), Thursday, 12 February 2004 10:05 (twenty-two years ago)

"really? wow, what would you use? how would you go about it? do you think you would be able to get away with it having just said this?"

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 12 February 2004 10:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Mind you, this thread title is perfect for endless entries for Thread Connections aruga.,..

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 12 February 2004 10:15 (twenty-two years ago)

yes.

― Orbit (Orbit), Thursday, 12 February 2004 10:16 (twenty-two years ago)

the first time my buddy mike said it when we were 11, I thought it was the most awesome thing.
all subsequent times (that afternoon), dud.

― My Huckleberry Friend (Horace Mann), Thursday, 12 February 2004 15:22 (twenty-two years ago)

four years pass...

;-)

― my fingers is a jellyfish (omar little), Tuesday, 6 January 2009 02:22 (seventeen years ago)

I COULD TELL YOU BUT THEN YOU WOULD HAVE TO BE DESTROYED BY ME

― moonship journey to baja, Tuesday, 6 January 2009 02:24 (seventeen years ago)

'That's what she said'

― redmond, Tuesday, 6 January 2009 02:25 (seventeen years ago)

I could tell you, but then I would have to steep you to make an unwholesome broth and then dump the broth down a rat hole and spread what remained of you in a field of thistles and tread it down into the soil with my brougham shoes.

I could tell you, but then I would have to smear you with fish oil and tie you down in a room filled with several hundred cats, whose raspy tongues would flay the skin from your bones, which, once stripped of flesh I would have to sell to a medical supply house to wire back together so your skeleton could be sold to a second-rate party college and gawked at by a bunch of pimply-faced so-called pre-meds who will never amount to anything and who will think it is funny to make you mime waving your hand at cheerleaders.

I could tell you, but then I would have to sit on your face until you suffocate, while I call you broheem.

― Aimless, Tuesday, 6 January 2009 02:38 (seventeen years ago)

I could tell you, but then I'd have to remove all of your internal organs, which I would then painstakingly mould into an offal woman, which I would then rape.

― chap, Tuesday, 6 January 2009 02:52 (seventeen years ago)

i just ordered that book thanks to this thread

― ^ dates 17 year olds (John Justen), Tuesday, 6 January 2009 02:56 (seventeen years ago)

I could tell you, but angry hipsters took away all my cliches, so I do not have sufficient expressive power remaining.

― graty80 (libcrypt), Tuesday, 6 January 2009 02:59 (seventeen years ago)

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