This is the thread where we think up new rules for our favourite sports.

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Inspired by the ruling that you need a physics degree to understand the offside rule, I want you all to tell me how to change the rules of a game you love to make it better.

― Johnney B (Johnney B), Friday, 13 February 2004 18:33 (twenty-two years ago)

They should make professional games of football 7-a-side on a full sized pitch. Run you bastards, run!

― Johnney B (Johnney B), Friday, 13 February 2004 18:34 (twenty-two years ago)

For American football, the ref is in charge of the clock and there are no commercial breaks, all coaches are forced to watch from the stands and can make no changes beyond a small number of subs, all changes in strategy and approach from the players on the field as it happens. Could be fun.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 13 February 2004 18:40 (twenty-two years ago)

bring back the bench clearing brawls in hockey.

― Chris V (Chris V), Friday, 13 February 2004 18:43 (twenty-two years ago)

At least one guy on every major league baseball team must sport either a handle-bar moustache or a Pete Rose haircut.

― Doobie Keebler (Charles McCain), Friday, 13 February 2004 18:45 (twenty-two years ago)

American Football:

1. Move the kickoff line back 5 or 10 yards and the ball has to be run out of the end zone.
2. Add a couple of more refs and get rid of the instant replay.
3. Change the time and substitution rules to benefit a no huddle offense.

Hockey/Rest of the World Football:

Get rid of the stupid offsides rules so you can actually have a fast break.

Baseball:

1. Get rid of the DH.
2. Start calling the high strike.

― earlnash, Friday, 13 February 2004 18:51 (twenty-two years ago)

American Football:
legalize clotheslining

― Bryan (Bryan), Friday, 13 February 2004 18:53 (twenty-two years ago)

World Football:

Anyone caught making a dive and holding their leg in agony found not to be injured is shot on sight without a trial in the middle of the stadium. That crap is weak.

― earlnash, Friday, 13 February 2004 18:53 (twenty-two years ago)

American Football:

I'm sure Deacon Jones would say, "Bring back the head slap!" Of course, he also says he had over a thousand quarterback sacks.

― earlnash, Friday, 13 February 2004 18:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Real Football - no defenders!

― Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Friday, 13 February 2004 19:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Hockey:
Game misconduct penalties waived if involving a Canadian givin' it to some cocky yank who no doubt had it coming to him in the first place.

― may pang (maypang), Friday, 13 February 2004 19:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Horseracing:

The winner is not the first horse to finish; rather, the scoring is based on death-defying stunts by the jockey: standing up, no hands, hand-stands, etc.

Sort of like arena motocross, but on an angry giant horse.

― andy, Friday, 13 February 2004 19:08 (twenty-two years ago)

In golf, naked women will parachute down onto the course continually.

― B61 (calstars), Friday, 13 February 2004 23:27 (twenty-two years ago)

2. Start calling the high strike.

earl, I thought most pitchers were against a high strike zone since that's the hit-me area.

― Leee Majors (Leee), Friday, 13 February 2004 23:38 (twenty-two years ago)

They need to call the strike zone that is in every baseball rule book, they don't call the chest high pitch in the majors, which is a very hittable pitch for many hitters. Kirby Puckett made a career of hitting that very pitch.

Hitters need to get over themselves. They go up with enough equipment to stop a bullet and freak when a high strike comes in on them. The old timers think they are a joke.

― earlnash, Friday, 13 February 2004 23:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Squash. Play as usual, except with a butternut squash. When the squash starts to fragment, play on with the largest surviving chunk. When that is splattered to smithereens, play on with a new squash lobbed down from the gallery by a greengrocer.

In hockey start of games by standing a bully in the middle of the pitch. Everyone hit the bully with their sticks and goad him (or her) into one of the goals. A supply of bullies could be obtained from comprehensive schools.

Basketball. Players wear baskets on their heads, in which they carry the ball over short distances, making a pass by climbing onto each others shoulders and tipping the ball from one basket to the next, and scoring a point by inserting it through the ring from beneath. Distract this process by attacking opponents with long-handled feather dusters.

Bowling. Players launch salad bowls along narrow passageways at small groups of Swiss guardsmen.

― All Bunged Up. (Jake Proudlock), Saturday, 14 February 2004 13:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Hockey. Get rid of the two-line pass rule. Enforce interference penalties better. Quit letting crappy clutch and grab players that can't keep up slow down the game. Create a second division and move about one-third of the current NHL teams and any expansion teams there. Create promotion and relegation between the first division and the second so the regular season will actually mean something.

― David Beckhouse (David Beckhouse), Saturday, 14 February 2004 17:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Tennis: No second service

Football: In cup games, have the penalty shoot out before the match starts. Then both sides know exactly what they have to do, instead of
both sides being too lazy/scared to do anything during extra time, and more or less agreeing to wait for penalties to decide.

― Joe Kay (feethurt), Saturday, 14 February 2004 18:05 (twenty-two years ago)

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