i'm a welfare cheat!

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or so says the human resources administration. i arrived home today to find a letter from the city telling me that they have been informed by a local bank that i have too much money in my account to be eligible for the medicaid benefits i've received. several problems with this: 1) i don't use the bank that has apparently ratted me out and 2) i've never been signed up for medicaid! what gives? now i'm facing a scary-looking demand from the government for restitution for the supposed benefits i've been illegally claiming, and i can't even start to sort things out until tomorrow as today is a public holiday. GAH!

― lauren (laurenp), Monday, 16 February 2004 20:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I hate to say this, but it might be a case of identity theft.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Monday, 16 February 2004 20:50 (twenty-two years ago)

whatever you do, HIDE THE FOODSTAMPS!!!
(and the million-dollar Halliburton consulting fee you collected!)

― My Huckleberry Friend (Horace Mann), Monday, 16 February 2004 20:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Time to get a new SSN

― TOMBOT, Monday, 16 February 2004 20:52 (twenty-two years ago)

if it's identity theft... shit. i don't even want to think about that, but i will say that the responsible party can have fun being blamed for the other, much lager, legitimate unpaid bills that i have.

― lauren (laurenp), Monday, 16 February 2004 20:58 (twenty-two years ago)

you have unpaid lager bills?
that's just immoral! do you hate barkeeps?

― My Huckleberry Friend (Horace Mann), Monday, 16 February 2004 21:00 (twenty-two years ago)

my love of barkeeps and timely payment of lager bills is probably what has led me to my current state of teetering insolvency.

― lauren (laurenp), Monday, 16 February 2004 21:05 (twenty-two years ago)

better than teetotalling insolvency any day!

― My Huckleberry Friend (Horace Mann), Monday, 16 February 2004 21:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Seriously you should call the bank first and find out where they got your address etcetera - if they don't have you on file, it could be all down to Medicaid. One mistyped digit in a database field is all it takes to call up the wrong person's record. Best of luck in sorting this out, it's an obvious mistake though so it shouldn't be too difficult (except remember it's NEVER the government's fault, blah blah)

PS Roddy Santana, If you're out there, I'm going to go ahead and renew your subscription to the Wall Street Journal to my address using your old billing information, is that cool? Let me know.

― TOMBOT, Monday, 16 February 2004 21:09 (twenty-two years ago)

watch this space, as i'm sure i'll have lots of entertaining anecdotes to share tomorrow once i've spoken to dime savings bank and the department of social services!

― lauren (laurenp), Monday, 16 February 2004 21:14 (twenty-two years ago)

oh man good luck.

― teeny (teeny), Monday, 16 February 2004 21:16 (twenty-two years ago)

good luck! I have to sort something out with the Department of Labor this week, too.

― hstencil, Monday, 16 February 2004 21:16 (twenty-two years ago)

This happened to my grandmother a few years ago. She got a letter from the IRS saying that she had been receiving "overpayments" from social security, and that she owed the government $15,000. It turned out to be a mistake.. but for fuck's sake, this is not the kind of shit you pull on ANYBODY, much less someone in their last years.

― donut bitch (donut), Monday, 16 February 2004 21:18 (twenty-two years ago)

My best, Lauren; my sister got stung with an identity theft problem a few years back and it took forever to settle -- even now I think she can't write checks above a certain amount or something.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 16 February 2004 21:25 (twenty-two years ago)

four years pass...

what happened?

― viagra falls, Friday, 2 May 2008 17:14 (seventeen years ago)

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