The ILE Super Duper Mega contest

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Time for the ILE Super Duper Mega contest. This time, post the funniest joke you can think of. Doesn't have to be original, but I like originals. This contest ends in 45 minutes (7:30 PST). Last contest for a while, so make sure YOU win!!

Good luck to all.

― Dante-Cubed (Sean3), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 02:46 (twenty-two years ago)

this woman mistakes her doctor's diagnosis of acute angina as him complimenting her genitals and goes home and tells her husband who gets really angry and goes to the doctor and confronts him about it and is told that his wife has acute angina.

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 02:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I think I told that wrong.

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 02:52 (twenty-two years ago)

There's a black guy, a Jew, and a gay guy all sitting in a pub. What a lovely example of a diverse metropolitan community.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 02:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't think so.

― Dante-Cubed (Sean3), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 02:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Heh.

― Dante-Cubed (Sean3), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 02:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Guy walks into a bar. He says "Hey! Who put that damn bar there?"

― Dante-Cubed (Sean3), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 02:59 (twenty-two years ago)

A horse walks into a bar.

Bartender says "Why the long face?"

― roger adultery (roger adultery), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 03:03 (twenty-two years ago)

heh.

― Dante-Cubed (Sean3), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 03:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Dom's in the lead.

― Dante-Cubed (Sean3), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 03:09 (twenty-two years ago)

There's a King named Willis and he gets invited to a giant tournament where all the different champions are going to joust and fight and find out who is the best. He brings along his normal entourage and he's sitting in the stands watching these knights all go at each other. Then there's one matchup where on one end of the field they have a little guy with hairy feet and a cape and a gold ring hanging on a chain around his neck and on the other end of the field they have a girl with a pointy hat and a broom and a shirt on that says "Witch University." The King is a little befuddled and he can't find his tournament program so he turns to his jester and asks what's going on. And the jester tells him "It's the Witch U. - Tolkein bout, Willis!"

― ARRRRRRGH, Tuesday, 17 February 2004 03:09 (twenty-two years ago)

How do I find a nice way to say that's pathetic?

― Dante-Cubed (Sean3), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 03:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him . . . A super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis!

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 03:17 (twenty-two years ago)

So this guy named Dante-Cubed is standing around when all of a sudden Curt1s punches him in the face.

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Tuesday, 17 February 2004 03:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar, bartender asks why the long face

― Silly Sailor (Andrew Thames), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 03:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Very good. Contest ends in 5 minutes.

― Dante-Cubed (Sean3), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 03:24 (twenty-two years ago)

did you hear that vanna white is sick? yeah, she's having trouble with her vowel movements.

― scott seward (scott seward), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 03:29 (twenty-two years ago)

THAT'S IT!!!

Anything after this post doesn't count.

― Dante-Cubed (Sean3), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 03:29 (twenty-two years ago)

i dont even get it.

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 03:46 (twenty-two years ago)

OK, I know it's over, still I cling...

Dog walks into a saloon with his arm in a cast. The whole bar quiets down. Dog looks around, says, "I'm lookin for the guy that shot my paw."

― roger adultery (roger adultery), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 04:01 (twenty-two years ago)

A horse walks into a bar, barman says 'why the long face?' Horse says 'my wife just left me - but aren't you more concerned with the fact that a horse just walked into your bar?' barman says 'um, oh yeah'

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 11:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Interviewer : "IT must have been tough being born blind"
Stevie Wonder "Yeah, well it could have been worse, I could have been born Black!"

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 11:52 (twenty-two years ago)

A reporter was being shown round Nottingham Forest's ground by one of the staff, who told the reporter that an air of doom and gloom was guaranteed to descend when the team's manager left. "Are you sure about that?" the reporter asked. "Oh yes", came the reply. "There'll be no jokin' 'ere".

― MarkH (MarkH), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 11:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Q: How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
A: Pick it up and suck its cock.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 12:28 (twenty-two years ago)

*applause*

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 12:30 (twenty-two years ago)

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