Are you as nutty as Nutty Nigel? Take this 8 question quiz to find out...

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1) You come in from working at some shitty, low paid manual labour job and the wife hasn't got the tea ready. Do you:

A) Emphasise with her plight as the mother of your four kids and make her tea as well as you?
B) Make your own tea?
C) Shout very loudly and cause a stink so she knows this is unnacceptable?
D) Hit her with a baseball bat?

2) You're watching the footie when some daft cunt Mormon knocks on your door and disrupts you. Do you...

A) Ignore the door bell?
B) Politely go to the door and tell them you're not interested?
C) Answer the door and tell them to fuck off before threatening violence?
D) Bottle the bastard and kick the shit out of him?

3) Some geezer says you're a poof do you?

A) Go on a rant about gay rights and all that bollox and say it disnae bother you, like?
B) Point out your wedding ring and laugh?
C) Kick a chair over and offer him out?
D) Smash his head through a window and pee on his flaccid unconscious body?

4) This young lassie wants some but your married. You give in, but she threatens to tell your wife after the fact. Do you?

A) Beat her to it and own up to your wife and beg her to forgive you?
B) Let her tell your wife and deal with the situation later.
C) Threaten to kill the daft cow's pet dog if she does it?
D) Light fire to the lassie's house while she's in it?

5) What weapon would take down someone twice your size?

A) Don't know, I never fight?
B) Words are my weapon?
C) A crowbar to the knees?
D) A big fucking plank to the skull when the bastard aint looking?

6) Your pet dog has a litter of puppies. What do you do?

A) Care for each and everyone of them?
B) Sell them in the paper?
C) Sell them to a science lab?
D) Kill em and eat em?

7) What's your fave paper?

A) The Independent and all that broadsheet wank
B) The Guardian
C) The Sport
D) Whatever is thick enough to roll up and brain someone with?

8) Someone is staring at you in a pub, do you?

A) Ignore them?
B) Politely ask them what the problem is?
C) Stand up and make a scene and threaten to kick it off?
D) Walk over, smash the prick in the face with a bar stool and then set his hair on fire and break a leg as well cos you're just that damn nutty?

― Nutty Nigel (Nutty Nigel), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 14:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Mostly A's - Get off my internet thread you poof
Mostly B's - Get off my internet thread you poof
Mostly C's - Get off my internet thread you poof
Mostly D's - Want a pint and a friendly ruck at the Pig's Rump in Newcastle?

― Nutty Nigel (Nutty Nigel), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 14:16 (twenty-two years ago)

DO NOT POST TO THIS THREAD

― DO NOT POST TO THIS THREAD, Tuesday, 17 February 2004 14:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Stop attacking the working class Geordies. I'm English and proud right?

― Nutty Nigel (Nutty Nigel), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 14:19 (twenty-two years ago)

"Vicious.. you brain people with a Newspaper..
... You're going to heaven as an Angel .. Oh you're so Vicious"

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 14:19 (twenty-two years ago)

NUTTY NIGEL'S REAL IDENTITY!

― Netty Nigel (Aaron W), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 14:20 (twenty-two years ago)

That's not me though. Stop confusing me with other postees. You must really have it on for some of the other people you've confused me with.

― Nutty Nigel (Nutty Nigel), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 14:21 (twenty-two years ago)