Annoying books

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

OK, so I think this needs a new thread, although Books you can't finish has some crossover potential.

I just finished Kathy Acker's Empire of the Senseless and am really annoyed at losing two days' worth of public transport reading time to a grim and childish (not to mention boring) reworking of Neuromancer. I'd like to emphasise that it's not the constant profanity and graphic sexual violence that offend me, but rather the implicit assumption that because I'm not shocked, I must therefore be desensitised to human suffering. Maybe it's because it's a product of the 80s, but the crappy pseudo-feminist bile is a real turn-off. And the last sentence of the book makes it a complete one-trick pony.

Please share your least favourite book experiences here.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 19 February 2004 11:12 (twenty-two years ago)

I read the first Harry Potter book. What a load of bunkum. Bring back Enid Blyton, Harry Potter sucks the big one.

― Rumpy Pumpkin (rumpypumpkin), Thursday, 19 February 2004 11:30 (twenty-two years ago)

I was irrationally annoyed by Independence Day - I'd really enjoyed some of Richard Ford's short stories, but I found that book soooo slow-going, and nothing that happened in either the plot or the language seemed to justify its mammouth size. I gave up.

High Fidelity possibly goes without saying. (Although I got through Fever Pitch fairly happily so don't jump on me for being a knee-jerk Hornbyhater.)

Also Murphy by Samuel Beckett.

― Archel (Archel), Thursday, 19 February 2004 11:40 (twenty-two years ago)

It's so easy to put a book down and never pick it up again that I wonder why people perservere with things they find hateful. Nevertheless that category of books you find yourself shouting back at (in the way you shout back at stupid tv) but feel compelled to continue with is interesting. My most recent experience of this was Terry Eagleton's memoir, 'The Gatekeeper'.

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Thursday, 19 February 2004 11:43 (twenty-two years ago)

At some point I feel liek I must finish the His Dark Materials, just so I can properly round out my opinions on why fools like it.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 19 February 2004 11:50 (twenty-two years ago)

It's so easy to put a book down and never pick it up again

Mr the Nipper, you are the lucky one! I could never leave a book unfinished unless it were ripped from my cold dead hands, although I came close with la Acker, and also with a poxy Brian Aldiss novel I read last year.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 19 February 2004 11:57 (twenty-two years ago)

I've been annoyed by the endiing of every Murakami book I've read - he can write wonderfully but can't finish a story in a decent way at all, I don't read them any more.

― chris (chris), Thursday, 19 February 2004 11:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Iain Banks (and with the M in the middle) = the same. I like the way he gets to his rubbish endings, though, so I persevere.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 19 February 2004 11:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Have you read 'Sputnik Sweetheart', Cabs?

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Thursday, 19 February 2004 12:00 (twenty-two years ago)

that's one of them that I haven't

― chris (chris), Thursday, 19 February 2004 12:00 (twenty-two years ago)

It's his best one!

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Thursday, 19 February 2004 12:01 (twenty-two years ago)

It's his worst.

― MikeyG (MikeyG), Thursday, 19 February 2004 12:04 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm reading Hard Boiled Wonderland... at the moment, quite a low annoyance factor so far apart from the bloody circuit diagram things. Norwegian Wood is still my favourite, because I'm a boring old rockist.

― Archel (Archel), Thursday, 19 February 2004 13:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Have just started Cyril Connolly's 'Enemies of Promise' and I hate it already. Kind of knew I would though.

― ENRQ (Enrique), Thursday, 19 February 2004 13:47 (twenty-two years ago)

But do you feel compelled to finish it, sweating blood all the while?

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 19 February 2004 13:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, I will. It's quite short and it's non-fiction. Fiction I find harder to get through if I hate it, but I always seem to persevere. This at least has, you know, information in it.

― ENRQ (Enrique), Thursday, 19 February 2004 13:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I've tried to read both The Satanic Verses and Midnight's Children - failed on both counts.

― Jonathan Z. (Joanthan Z.), Thursday, 19 February 2004 13:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Is Rushdie's style just off-putting then? There were a few people on the thread linked to above who couldn't finish his books. I don't know, I've never felt in the least bit interested in picking one up.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 19 February 2004 13:56 (twenty-two years ago)

I think the annoyance factor often comes from feeling cheated e.g. when the book has been hoho critically acclaimed and it's just a big load of balls.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 19 February 2004 13:57 (twenty-two years ago)

I agree with cabbage, except that I feel that way from start to finish.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 19 February 2004 14:01 (twenty-two years ago)

"Is Rushdie's style just off-putting then?"

I think that's a large part of it. I'm not a fan of over-the-top wordiness. But there's also the knowing cleverness of unreliable narrators and postmodern look-at-me-I'm-writing-a-novel. Maybe it was revolutionary at the time.

― Jonathan Z. (Joanthan Z.), Thursday, 19 February 2004 14:29 (twenty-two years ago)

I never finished Heinlein's To Sail Beyond the Sunset as I was getting very annoyed by it's time-travelling-incestuous-soft-core-porn ridiculosity.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 19 February 2004 14:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah but that's 70s SF innit. Ahhh my mum's collection of dodgy cheap paperback cover art. ALIEN PRINCESSES WITH TENTACLED BREASTS!

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 19 February 2004 14:45 (twenty-two years ago)

I couldn't finish 'Under the Volcanoe'. I liked it, but I left it at my mother-in-law's.

― PJ Miller (PJ Miller), Thursday, 19 February 2004 16:37 (twenty-two years ago)

harry potter. bah. also, the god of small things - eeeeyuck.

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 19 February 2004 16:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Money by Martin Amis. Portnoy's Complaint. The Fellowship of the Ring - cunting Tom cunting Bombadil makes me want to fuck a chainsaw.

On the film front, I once read a Paul Auster script and it was the most pointless, soulless piece of screenwriting I've ever seen.

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 19 February 2004 16:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Recently read The Business by Iain [M.] Banks. Profoundly annoying--a conceivably interesting premise leadenly fleshed out and barely finished. Oversimplistic, patronising crap. The most unintentionally funny parts were when Banks insisted on telling us what "hip" songs the forty-year-old female protagonist had on her walkman. Ugh.

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Thursday, 19 February 2004 17:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh lord, I'll second The God of Small Things.

― Prude (Prude), Thursday, 19 February 2004 17:07 (twenty-two years ago)

it's really, really bad, isn't it?

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 19 February 2004 17:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, the Murikami I've read is Sputnik Sweetheart which I thought was rathe rnice. But the rest are worse? Oh well...

― Pete (Pete), Thursday, 19 February 2004 17:10 (twenty-two years ago)

It's just so full of itself. Couldn't stand it.

― Prude (Prude), Thursday, 19 February 2004 17:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Donna Tartt's (is that her name?) The Secret History made me hate every cliched terrible character in it as well as that stupid cunt who wrote it. What a dud! I felt like she was way too into the stupid liberal arts shithole she went to for school (Bennington?).

― Jon Williams (ex machina), Thursday, 19 February 2004 17:13 (twenty-two years ago)

yes, 'the god of small things' is just awful. I'm going to stand up for salman though - 'midnights children' is a bit hard-going but 'shame' and 'the moors last sigh' are both wonderful.
the most infuriating book i've ever finished is 'the information' which is shockingly poor. as a teenager i used to think martin amis was the greatest thing ever (this is not uncommon i suspect) but that book made me hate all the rest of his retrospectively too. i read it again to be sure and hated it even more.

― adam b (adam b), Thursday, 19 February 2004 17:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Ian Banks - Dead Air

I really like some of his books but man this piece of shit offended me like as if someone had slipped me a 300 page Janet & John book.
(I have to finish books too, It's a curse.) It's badly written, it fleetingly references 9-11 for no other reason than sheer shock value/hipness, the main character is a shambles, his sexual relationships laughable and horribly 80's in tone. The book is punctuated with BORING rambles about the middle east (justified as coming from the mouth of the main character, who is a shock-jock) It's as if Banks just wanted to waffle to get his dull opinions off his chest. It truly made me angry....bah.

― mzui, Thursday, 19 February 2004 17:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Cormac McCarthy, All the Pretty Horses. I actually had to pretend to like this one, or at least give a shit about it, as it was assigned to a class I was TA-ing for. Flat, uninteresting characters and ridiculous tough-guy posturing. Of course, I wouldn't hate it nearly so much if it hadn't won the National Book Award. Call it the Dave Matthew Syndrome -- my annoyance increases proportionally to the popularity of the object of annoyance.

― Prude (Prude), Thursday, 19 February 2004 17:29 (twenty-two years ago)

"How To Be a Brit" (aka "How to Be An Alien") by George Mikes - confoundingly cloddish execution of a can't-miss subject

McCarthy annoys with w/just about everything except Suttree, which I think is sneaky and wonderful and brilliant

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 19 February 2004 17:30 (twenty-two years ago)

bridget jones, pynchon any chicken soup for the asshole book.

― Viva La Sam (thatgirl), Thursday, 19 February 2004 17:30 (twenty-two years ago)

I find Don DeLillo annoying. His writing is so mannered. I'll second adam b's distaste for "The Information," too. I get the feeling with both writers that at certain points in their books they tell themselves, "Now I'm going to be literary!" and then bung in some long ill-conceived metaphor about the planets or baseball that barely relates to the narrative and has no inherent interest either. But it's a long drawn-out metaphor, so it must be the work of a great novelist! These are the parts inevitably referred to as "masterful" in the reviews.

I've persevered against my better judgment with both of these writers, though, because friends have recommended them. Maybe they're over my head, but if I'm honest I have to say I doubt it.

― Nemo (JND), Thursday, 19 February 2004 17:30 (twenty-two years ago)

I think I threw a Murakami book against the wall because it was so god-awful.

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Thursday, 19 February 2004 17:31 (twenty-two years ago)

I tried to read 'War of the Flowers' by Tad Williams recently, but had to return it to the library after 100 pages because it was weak and getting weaker by the minute.

― webcrack (music=crack), Thursday, 19 February 2004 17:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Infinite Jest. "How was it?" "Infinite."

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Thursday, 19 February 2004 17:37 (twenty-two years ago)

but i like de lillo though... actually i love 'underworld' precisely becuase of what nemo dislikes about it - there's a fabulous sense that de lillo is straining to make every single word in ever single sentence burst with significance and by and large he pulls it off. although the 'lets all laugh at a 50s housewife making jelly' segment was annoyingly hipterish and the texas highway killer stuff was a bit much too - i think we got what he was on about without the perinially bollocks 'journey inside the mind of a serial killer' bit. but i've read quite a few of his others which i haven't really liked - i got the impression that he was trying to do the same thing but just failed

― adam b (adam b), Thursday, 19 February 2004 17:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, lots of people whose opinions I respect like DeLillo. It just doesn't work for me. I feel the strain at significance, but none of it seems very significant to me. Mainly, I think, because I find the characters unconvincing.

― Nemo (JND), Thursday, 19 February 2004 17:46 (twenty-two years ago)

I read one De Lillo novel (not, Mao II was it called?). The style was a huge turn-off for me. All the straining to be literary, recherché metaphors etc. not good. And yes, Martin Amis. I don't understand the appeal, largely for similar reasons. I hate pompous style.

― Jonathan Z. (Joanthan Z.), Thursday, 19 February 2004 17:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Underworld and Infinite Jest.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 19 February 2004 18:16 (twenty-two years ago)

i can't for the life of me get through The Bible. every time i get to that boring shit in Genesis about lineage and how old everyone was when they died i just have to shut the damn thing. Anyone know if it gets better towards the end?

― Felonious Drunk (Felcher), Thursday, 19 February 2004 18:19 (twenty-two years ago)

War of the Flowers picked up a lot of steam in the last 2/3rds of the book. I think the worst thing about it was the horrendous title.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 19 February 2004 18:24 (twenty-two years ago)

― Prude (Prude), Thursday, 19 February 2004 18:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Volcanoe?

Example of annoying book that I saw through to the end: Gravity's Rainboe.

― the bellefox, Thursday, 19 February 2004 19:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Acker was much more annoying than her books. Which means that, to the extent that she intruded into her books (which was a LOT), her books were annoying.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 19 February 2004 19:21 (twenty-two years ago)

I thort Empire... preceded cyberpunk! A reworked burroughs reworking of french dudes would be more to the point, right? (Or if Empire was later, maybe it did do somathat silly cyberstuff -- i always liked Blood and Guts in High School best and anyway Acker could ALWAYS right gud and I liked how she read a great deal more than where she took it) [which is to say that the same subject matter in most people's hands, including her critics, is painful and awkward and dumm but in hers it has trapdoors and hinges and *moves* me for god knows why].

Also I thought The Information was delightfully mean.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Thursday, 19 February 2004 20:43 (twenty-two years ago)

On the film front, I once read a Paul Auster script and it was the most pointless, soulless piece of screenwriting I've ever seen.

I'd stay away from New York Trilogy if I were you, then.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Friday, 20 February 2004 10:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Paul Auster's a strange novelist. I think New York Trilogy and The Invention Of Solitude are genuinely good, but he's also published some poorly-written trash. I finished Timbuktu, but it was terrible and I haven't been tempted to read his last two efforts.

― Jonathan Z. (Joanthan Z.), Friday, 20 February 2004 10:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I thort Empire... preceded cyberpunk!

Nah, 1988 from the copyright info page. I got the impression that her quotes from Neuromancer were meant to be terribly cheeky and amusing, showing how hip and young yet tewwibly transgressive she was being. Bah humbug.

Is it more or less infuriating to get a rubbish book out from the library, or to actually buy it and then realise? I find it very difficult to get rid of books once they're ensconced in my shelves, so am consequently a bit squeamish about laying down cash (also I'm tightfisted, but that's another story) in bookshops. However, there is something really annoying about getting a nice plastic covered novel home from the library and settling down with it, then having to wonder at the wisdom of spending public money on such a piece of crap.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Friday, 20 February 2004 10:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Less infuriating, surely? "Bah, I paid for this rubbish" is a worse feeling than "Bah, my taxes paid for this rubbish!" Besides, at least *someone* will appreciate a crap library book.

― caitlin (caitlin), Friday, 20 February 2004 11:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Tycho sez it better than I ever could...
http://www.penny-arcade.com/images/2003/20031015l.gif http://www.penny-arcade.com/images/2003/20031015l.gif
Each of those damned Dune prequels is worse than the one before it.
Lame dialogue! Boring, predictable plotting! Leaden pacing!
Stiff, cardboard characters painted with a broad broad broad strokes.
And whats worse, every possible action follows this pattern.

Narrarator explains Characters personality to justify the following action. Character does something.

Narrarator explains Characters frame of mind as to how they feel about what they just did.

Jesus, even Jane Auel doesn't annoy me this much.

― Lord Custos Omicron (Lord Custos Omicron), Friday, 20 February 2004 19:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I say someone should feed all of Jane Auel's novels into MS Word's autosummarize feature, strip out the redundancies, and publish it at a 150 page novella.

― Lord Custos Omicron (Lord Custos Omicron), Friday, 20 February 2004 19:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Herbert and Lucas have too many parallels at this point when it comes to six part series and spinoffs.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 20 February 2004 19:16 (twenty-two years ago)

if they were gonna get a star wars writer to work on new Dune books, they shouldve at least gotten Zahn.

― Felonious Drunk (Felcher), Friday, 20 February 2004 21:03 (twenty-two years ago)

I found myself unable to persevere beyond about page 5 of Prozac Nation. I was kind of annoyed with The Bell Jar too, so I guess it wasn't too surprising.

What do you find annoying about Enemies of Promise, Enrique?

― N. (nickdastoor), Saturday, 21 February 2004 15:03 (twenty-two years ago)

I also found "By Grand Central Station I Sat Down And Wept' incredibly annoying. Uh-oh - these are all emo books written by women.

― N. (nickdastoor), Saturday, 21 February 2004 15:05 (twenty-two years ago)

At some point I feel liek I must finish the His Dark Materials, just so I can properly round out my opinions on why fools like it.
-- Andrew Farrell

Second the motion.

― Skottie, Saturday, 21 February 2004 15:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Prozac Nation probably is silly.

I think The Bell Jar a minor moisterpiece.

By Grand Central Station's virtues I cannot easily name - but the odd thing is, the Nipper really likes it.

― the bellefox, Saturday, 21 February 2004 15:16 (twenty-two years ago)

It's good for spotting the origin of numerous Smiths lyrics, is its chief virtue.

― N. (nickdastoor), Saturday, 21 February 2004 15:24 (twenty-two years ago)

I think The Bell Jar a minor moisterpiece.

Are you putting on a bad Irish accent or is this supposed to be a playful neologistic synonym for 'tearjerker'?

― N. (nickdastoor), Saturday, 21 February 2004 15:28 (twenty-two years ago)

John Irving. Incredibly manipulative, methodically throws rape/death in his stories to get sympathy for his characters, and what the fuck is up with his obsession with incest?

― Ernest P. (ernestp), Saturday, 21 February 2004 20:47 (twenty-two years ago)

and bears. and midgets.

― anthony kyle monday (akmonday), Saturday, 21 February 2004 20:52 (twenty-two years ago)

If I found a book with the following titles, I would run out of the bookstore:

People Who Break the Law

The History of Grammar

Choosing the Right Purse for the Right Man

The Personal Lives of Celebrities

Just to name a few...

― natasha lushina, Sunday, 22 February 2004 02:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Would it be redundant or cliché at this point to mention that Tom Clancy and John Grisham each wrote 1 semi-acceptable book and roughly 600 (increasingly) less worthy books after that?

― Lord Custos Omicron (Lord Custos Omicron), Sunday, 22 February 2004 03:32 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm still waiting for the Chuck Palahniuk Novel Generator program.

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Sunday, 22 February 2004 04:13 (twenty-two years ago)

"The First Rule of Lullaby is you don't talk about Lullaby...
The Second Rule of Lullaby..."

― Lord Custos Omicron (Lord Custos Omicron), Sunday, 22 February 2004 04:46 (twenty-two years ago)

I only read one Harry Potter: the Chamber of Secrets. Talk about annoying - the plot doesn't start till gone half way. Slooooow. I can only guess that children love it so much because they read slower, or something. How any full-grown adult can like that crap is beyond me - and I'm talking as someone who enjoyed Watership Down and some Roald Dahl stories as an adult.

― All Bunged Up. (Jake Proudlock), Sunday, 22 February 2004 10:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Surely the only reason people read Jean Auel is for the hairy prehistoric porn? I mean duh...

And the same goes for Harry Potter, probably.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Monday, 23 February 2004 10:15 (twenty-two years ago)

I read Kathy Acker for the hairy prehistoric porn

― Andrew L (Andrew L), Monday, 23 February 2004 10:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Ian McEwan has always annoyed me because of the huge gap between his literary rep and the actual quality of his books

― Andrew L (Andrew L), Monday, 23 February 2004 10:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, but it's pretty low quality innit.

xpost that was Acker snarkiness

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Monday, 23 February 2004 10:25 (twenty-two years ago)

The main character doesn't even appear until halfway through. I mean, what's up with that?

"Wuthering Heights" to thread.

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 23 February 2004 11:45 (twenty-two years ago)

My sister loves those Jean Auel books. As indeed, I used to - aged fourteen. I fear Liz is dead OTM that the attraction lies in the pr0n.

― Archel (Archel), Monday, 23 February 2004 11:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Surely the only reason people read Jean Auel is for the hairy prehistoric porn? I mean duh...
Brrr.. Yeah, but you have to read through 500 pages of boring description of the barren wasteland before anybody whips out their tits, and it ends up being hairy caveman tit.

And the same goes for Harry Potter, probably.
Hagrid teaches Harry about Luuuurrrrvee!

― Lord Custos Omicron (Lord Custos Omicron), Monday, 23 February 2004 20:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Hairy Hagrid tit. He could involve some of the magical beasts.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 10:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Gives the phrase "riding the centaur" a completely different meaning...

― Lord Custos Omicron (Lord Custos Omicron), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 17:50 (twenty-two years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.