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Best Bond?

Best Bond movie?

Best Bond girl?

Best Bond baddy?

Best Bond song?

Best Bond line?

― Will McKenzie, Thursday, 18 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

New answers

― Will Mckenzie, Thursday, 18 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

WORST Bond line: "I guess Christmas is coming early this year."

― David Raposa, Thursday, 18 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Bond = Dud.

(Pynchon = Bond + Beat, as previously established)

― the pinefox, Thursday, 18 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

'As already established', Pinefox? Established by whom, exactly?

― Will Mckenzie, Thursday, 18 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Himself.

― RickyT, Thursday, 18 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

pinefox briefdly glanced at the cover of gravity's rainbow and intuited

― mark s, Thursday, 18 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

only good bond book = casino royale

all the films = as bad as one another

― mark s, Thursday, 18 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The best Bond article in the world... ever!

― RickyT, Thursday, 18 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I was wondering when Al's contribution to the world of Bond theory would be invoked. First four = great. After that, fear in various degrees.

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 18 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

also: bond rubbish in bed proved by science, as all bondgirls hang around NOT AT ALL NEVAH EVAH!! (and vesper lind killed herself)

― mark s, Thursday, 18 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Best Bond: Roger Moore
Best Bond Baddy: Christopher Walken
Best Bond Girl/Movie: All of them
Best Bond Line: "...Bond, James Bond"
Best Bond Song: None of them

― toraneko, Thursday, 18 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Best Bond line: "That'd be as bad as listening to the Beatles without earmuffs" (Goldfinger)

― DG, Thursday, 18 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Connery. Spy Who Loved Me. Honey Rider (but would have been the Mastersons had they not both been killed off so quick). Blofeld (Pleasance version). Diamonds Are Forever. "Just Keeping the British end up, sir" (oh no, wait, that's the würst).

― Jeff, Thursday, 18 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Best Bond is surely Sean Connery. Moore always seemed effete. Best song? Well, "Goldfinger" sure makes an impression, as does "Thunderball"...

― Sean, Thursday, 18 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The best song is "You Only Live Twice", hands down.

― Tom, Thursday, 18 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Anyone remember Sheryl Crow singing a Bond theme? Anyone ever ask WHY?

"A View to a Kill" is my pick to click. Duran Duran gets all cinematic & stuff. In a pinch, though, "GoooooooldfingAH!" *wah WAH wah* does the trick for me. Even the Magazine version.

― David Raposa, Thursday, 18 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

From Russia With Love/ I Fly to You. That's my favourite. Unfortunately Robbie Williams has tainted You Only Live Twice for me.

― Jonnie, Thursday, 18 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i have the living daylights soundtrack on vinyl and the a-ha theme is mighty.

― ethan, Thursday, 18 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Best Bond; George Lazenby, he's got the right amount of dumb, macho blankness.
The rest I'll have to think about.

― Billy Dods, Thursday, 18 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Gather 'round kids and I'll tell you a story. Seems that my friend Patrick (college pal - haven't seen him in ages) was the son of diplomatic parents posted in London. He was gay and had a boyfriend who was the nephew of Cubby Broccoli. Anyway, Patrick and broccoli nephew were at dinner somewhere with Cubby, who decided to test the zeitgeist. Asked the boyz who should be doing the next Bond theme. Boyz said, stifling their laughter, Duran Duran.

The next thing we knew...

― suzy, Thursday, 18 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Best Bond Bikini: the white one that the bond girl wears in Dr. No, its got a knife holster!

― rainy, Thursday, 18 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Best Bond is Connery, Best Movie/Girl is one with the worst Bond, whose name eludes me cause he was only in one.

― Mr Noodles, Thursday, 18 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

George Lazenby.

― Josh, Thursday, 18 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

To Noodles -- George Lazenby, which means you think Diana Rigg was the best one.

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 19 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

its all about shirely bassey

― anthony, Friday, 19 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

one year passes...

Best Bond - Pierce Brosnan (esp. after Die Another Day)

Best Film: Toss a coin between Goldfinger and On Her Majesty's Secret Service

Best Girl: Daniela Bianchi (From Russia With Love)

Best Baddie: The unseen Blofeld (FRWL & Thunderball)

Best Song: You Only Live Twice

Best Line: "Right idea, Mr. Bond... but wrong pussy." (Diamonds Are Forever)

― Ben Mott (Ben Mott), Sunday, 12 January 2003 11:22 (twenty-three years ago)

Worst Bond: Timothy Dalton

Worst Film: The World Is Not Enough

Worst Girl: Britt Ekland (The Man With The Golden Gun), though not really the actress' fault.

Worst Baddie: The crap Joe Don Baker/Jeroen Krabbe combo from The Living Daylights.

Worst Song: Tomorrow Never Dies

Worst Line: "Why did you break off the encounter with my pet python?/I discovered it had a crush on me." (Moonraker).

― Ben Mott (Ben Mott), Sunday, 12 January 2003 12:35 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't have a particular opinion on any of these questions except my favourite Bond is Roger Moore. He makes me laugh.

― David (David), Sunday, 12 January 2003 13:07 (twenty-three years ago)

i thought up a good pub and/or party game at xmas: =
someone gives the name of the band/popstar who sang the themetune and have immediately to reply w. the name (or names) of the bond girl/s in the movie in question (i mean the character, not the actress)

i know you cd learn them and cheat but that wd be yr loss frankly

― mark s (mark s), Sunday, 12 January 2003 16:56 (twenty-three years ago)

Surely we know people who would know all the answers?

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 12 January 2003 17:07 (twenty-three years ago)

so don't invite them to yr parties!!

― mark s (mark s), Sunday, 12 January 2003 17:11 (twenty-three years ago)

STOP GETTING BOND RIGHT!

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 13 January 2003 03:06 (twenty-three years ago)

three years pass...

Revote.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 20 November 2006 02:19 (nineteen years ago)

Seriously I'm pretty sure I've answered all these questions in great detail on three different threads by now.

― DOCTOR METH KING (TOMBOT), Monday, 20 November 2006 02:50 (nineteen years ago)

Same here! But it was the only general thread I could find.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 20 November 2006 03:00 (nineteen years ago)

So then shit or get off the pot, both of you.

Connery, UH I don't actually remember which is which whoops, not any of the ones who've been in the past 20 years that is for sure but probably GRACE JONES people, Christopher Walken OTM, A VIEW TO A KILL, UH I think toreneko was correct those years ago.

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Monday, 20 November 2006 04:50 (nineteen years ago)

Worst Bond movie, the one where he gets married and then his wife gets shot and it's really emo, WTF is that one even about??

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Monday, 20 November 2006 04:51 (nineteen years ago)

It's about GEORGE LAZENBY! And KOJAK!

It is the emo one but that's also the most emo of the books aside from Casino Royale itself. So blame the dead guy.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 20 November 2006 04:54 (nineteen years ago)

I'm not looking for someone to blame, I'm just pointing out that it is probably one of the worst movies I've ever seen in my life.

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Monday, 20 November 2006 04:54 (nineteen years ago)

no wai, that was actually a pretty good one despite lazenby

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Monday, 20 November 2006 04:56 (nineteen years ago)

Craig; Casino Royale; Irina; Renard; The Living Daylights; "Do I look like I give a damn?"

― stet (stet), Monday, 20 November 2006 05:02 (nineteen years ago)

OHMSS was the first conscious 'let's make things 'simple' with Bond again' movie in the series, like I muttered on the Casino Royale thread, but it's not as great as it could be. Best argument I've heard for it was that if it was Connery in that role it might be the best Bond film ever...well, *maybe*.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 20 November 2006 05:04 (nineteen years ago)

Answering the questions, then:

Connery as 'film' Bond, Dalton as 'literary' Bond, but with the caveat that Craig will likely outdo them both by the next film. I almost feel like he was being a little restrained (to good effect) to set the character in place by the end.

From Russia With Love in terms of pace, setting, story and acting all top of the mark, everything in great balance with each other, plus John Barry's first full-on brilliant score. Even Goldfinger drags at points in comparison (and Casino Royale definitely has that flaw too, though its action scenes are way more intense -- still, that's also due to the fact that film editing and pace has changed so dramatically for 'action' movies over the past forty years; remember that when Dr. No came out its action sequences were seen as a wholly new cutting edge!)

Fave Bond girl would be Carole Bouquet from For Your Eyes Only, though Grace Jones does kick ass, of course.

Gert Frobe as Goldfinger, such a perfect mix of the obsessive and the petty and the scheming. Michael Lonsdale from Moonraker has some killer lines, though (not enough to save the film). Walken is a great freak thanks to the bleach job.

Can't choose one song. "You Only Live Twice," "Nobody Does It Better," "For Your Eyes Only," "A View to a Kill" and "The Living Daylights" in a dead heat. Every theme song from License to Kill on needs to be taken out and shot.

Line...ah, too many. For now: "Somebody's probably lost a dog."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 20 November 2006 05:20 (nineteen years ago)

OHMSS is pretty great, I mean
http://commanderbond.net/resources/sections/news/images/george_lazenby/george_lazenby.jpg
"despite" lazenby oh whatever he's a long shot better than Dalton or Brosnan
Craig might make it to the hall of fame but as a rookie I don't want to make that call for him, so:

Best Bond? Sean

Best Bond movie? Thunderball

Best Bond girl? DUH, SOLITAIRE

Best Bond baddy? Walken

Best Bond song? Thunderball

Best Bond line? "I've got an itch, down there." and most of what follows.

― DOCTOR METH KING (TOMBOT), Monday, 20 November 2006 05:27 (nineteen years ago)

I do love Thunderball, I just wish the water sequences wouldn't drag so much -- but goddamn does Barry's music make up for it.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 20 November 2006 05:28 (nineteen years ago)

Seeing Mike Patton belt out "Thunderball" with Mr. Bungle was one of those moments where I was glad to be alive. Completely over the top.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 20 November 2006 05:29 (nineteen years ago)

Best Bond? Roger Moore.

Best Bond movie? Live and Let Die.

Best Bond girl? Grace Jones, hands up. But since she was too strong for Bond (Bond girls need to complement his masculinity, right?), she had to die, unfortunately.

Best Bond baddy? Jaws.

Best Bond song? Die Another Day.

Best Bond line? Can't remember.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 20 November 2006 07:34 (nineteen years ago)

FFS Tuomas she died because she was a bad guy who sacrifices herself when she decides she's pissed off with the head henchman. If you want to get all feminist on the thread why don't you write a paragraph on Pussy Galore being a goddamn pilot or the death of Diana Rigg.

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Monday, 20 November 2006 16:09 (nineteen years ago)

NED: YSI?!?

― DOCTOR METH KING (TOMBOT), Monday, 20 November 2006 16:13 (nineteen years ago)

I'll look for it tonight, I have it around somewhere.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 20 November 2006 16:15 (nineteen years ago)

Tuomas has a point at least in that Mayday sacrificing herself was such bullshit generally.

― 2 american 4 u (blueski), Monday, 20 November 2006 16:16 (nineteen years ago)

most of the ways people die in bond films can be qualified as bullshit generally!

― DOCTOR METH KING (TOMBOT), Monday, 20 November 2006 16:17 (nineteen years ago)

LEAST CONVINCING BOND GIRL CHARACTER: Denise Richards as Christmas Jones

WORST BOND GIRL NAME EVER: Christmas Jones

WORST BOND LINE EVER: the one about Christmas coming only once a year at the end of TWINE*

― 2 american 4 u (blueski), Monday, 20 November 2006 16:21 (nineteen years ago)

I caught a bit of Dr. No the other day, and I'd totally foprgotten that the title sequence music for the first ever Bond film is a calypso version of Three Blind Mice.

― chap who would dare to welcome our new stingray masters (chap), Monday, 20 November 2006 16:22 (nineteen years ago)

Best Bond? Sean

Best Bond movie? Goldeneye

Best Bond girl? not really partial to any of them, the one in Living Daylights was kinda nice though.

Best Bond baddy? Max Zorin

Best Bond song? You Only Live Twice or From Russia With Love, View to a kill comes third

Best Bond line? i generally hate the cheesy Bond lines. Money Pennies "cunning linguist" line had me hooting though as it was kinda unexpected.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Monday, 20 November 2006 16:24 (nineteen years ago)

WORST BOND: Woody Allen
WORST CANONICAL/BROCCOLI BROS BOND: Pierce "I looked plain silly remaking Thomas Crown and I plan to keep that up" Brosnangers

― DOCTOR METH KING (TOMBOT), Monday, 20 November 2006 16:24 (nineteen years ago)

xxpost, oh fuck that three blind mice song is brilliant!

― Ste (Fuzzy), Monday, 20 November 2006 16:24 (nineteen years ago)

Best Bond Baddie: Klaus Maria Brandauer, Never Say Never Again
(and Rogert Ebert agrees)

I tried to watch OHMSS a few Thanksgivings ago with fond memories, and Christ it is boring whenever Diana Rigg isn't on. Thunderball is the dullest Connery.

The only Roger Moore one that I'd remotely watch again is Octopussy, because it throws out the idea of being a Bond movie in favor of a delirious Modesty Blaise-style cartoon.

WORST BOND: Woody Allen

"I have a low threshold of death" may be the only funny line in Royale '67.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Monday, 20 November 2006 16:34 (nineteen years ago)

Yes, I'm going to explicitly put forth the notion that Diana Rigg is the only good thing about that film.

Woody Allen is certainly NOT the worst Bond in Casino Royale. That movie is completely unwatchable.

I am also going to cosign on Denise Richards and Pierce Brosnan being ultimate number one worst anythings ever.

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Monday, 20 November 2006 16:39 (nineteen years ago)

I forgot about that Thomas Crown remake, I'm getting more irritated by him by the minute today. What a horrible man.

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Monday, 20 November 2006 16:40 (nineteen years ago)

I wish I could find the Newsweek cover with him on it from 1984.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 20 November 2006 16:43 (nineteen years ago)

Nice official site there, duder.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 20 November 2006 16:44 (nineteen years ago)

OK TBH the worst unofficial james bond is all of them in that movie; terrible. Even Peter Sellers.

― DOCTOR METH KING (TOMBOT), Monday, 20 November 2006 16:47 (nineteen years ago)

I refuse to click on "Irish Dreamtime."

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Monday, 20 November 2006 16:48 (nineteen years ago)

I did, for my sins. (It's the name of his film production company.)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 20 November 2006 16:49 (nineteen years ago)

That's oddly disappointing on about 300 levels (first being that I had no idea he had a production company and that production company should be stopped, immediately).

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Monday, 20 November 2006 16:50 (nineteen years ago)

Holy shit, the paintings. Even at the small sized image level they are fantastically horrible.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 20 November 2006 16:51 (nineteen years ago)

Some of Brosnan’s works were designed as presents for his wife, Keely Shaye. The romantically titled Bisou Moi (Kiss Me) was given to Keely as a present on Valentine’s Day and features a nude woman standing next to yellow daffodils.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 20 November 2006 16:51 (nineteen years ago)

Best Bond? moore (by default)

Best Bond movie? 'the living daylights'

Best Bond girl? famke janssen

Best Bond baddy? scaramanga

Best Bond song? 'the living daylights'

Best Bond line? all shit

― benrique (Enrique), Monday, 20 November 2006 16:52 (nineteen years ago)

Best Bond? moore (by default)

wut

― DOCTOR METH KING (TOMBOT), Monday, 20 November 2006 16:54 (nineteen years ago)

hard to get behind any of them. dalton only did two, and the second one was a bit 'seventh-series-of-miami-vice'. connery the man is such a dick, and i can't get past that.

― benrique (Enrique), Monday, 20 November 2006 16:57 (nineteen years ago)

Sorry, I'm going to have to post this Brosnon painting:
http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f223/joegood/main-painting-26.jpg

― chap who would dare to welcome our new stingray masters (chap), Monday, 20 November 2006 17:05 (nineteen years ago)

Best secondary character actor? Clifton James (the redneck sheriff) / Joe Don Baker's slumming CIA guy (tie)

xpost:

haha, that's some Miguel Calderon/Royal Tenenbaums shit

― kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 20 November 2006 17:13 (nineteen years ago)

connery the man is such a dick

as Bond should be (that said, you have the scariest 'bests')

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Monday, 20 November 2006 17:41 (nineteen years ago)

Best Bond? Connery

Best Bond movie? From Russia With Love

Best Bond girl? Toss up between Carole Bouquet and Izabella Scorupco

Best Bond baddy? Karl Stromberg

Best Bond song? "You Only Live Twice"

Best Bond line? Toss up between these two (both from Never Say Never Again:
"Oh, how reckless of me. I made you all wet."
"Yes, but my martini is still dry."

"Good to see you Mr. Bond. Things have been awfully dull around here. I hope we're going to see some gratuitous sex and violence."
"I certainly hope so too."

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Monday, 20 November 2006 18:16 (nineteen years ago)

There's a great line in Live and Let Die where a still-suave Moore is being marched at gunpoint into an alley where he will be shot. He turns to Solitaire, cool as anything, and says, "Shan't be a minute."

― chap who would dare to welcome our new stingray masters (chap), Monday, 20 November 2006 18:24 (nineteen years ago)

Never Say Never Again is actually pretty damn cool for what it is. Good direction from Irvin Kershner, Klaus Maria Brandeur beats the hell out of most Bond villians of the eighties and nineties, etc.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 20 November 2006 18:24 (nineteen years ago)

What's the Bond with the two gay hitmen? I totally didn't get that as a kid...

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 20 November 2006 18:27 (nineteen years ago)

Diamonds Are Forever

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 20 November 2006 18:27 (nineteen years ago)

"If at first you don't succeed, Mr. Wint..."

"Try, try again, Mr. Kidd."

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Monday, 20 November 2006 18:32 (nineteen years ago)

I'm not really qualified to comment, I only really like A View to a Kill and that's for Walken and Grace Jones.

― Beth S. (Ex Leon), Monday, 20 November 2006 18:44 (nineteen years ago)

Never Say Never Again is actually pretty damn cool for what it is. Good direction from Irvin Kershner, Klaus Maria Brandeur beats the hell out of most Bond villians of the eighties and nineties, etc.

And Max Von Sydow as Blofeld! Barbara Carrera is pretty good as an Evil Bond Girl too

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Monday, 20 November 2006 20:28 (nineteen years ago)

Even Rowan Atkinson works. (It's certainly thousands of times better than Johnny English.)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 20 November 2006 20:33 (nineteen years ago)

I prefer Brosnan's Thomas Crowne to Steve McQueen's, and will take The Tailor of Panama over both.

OHMSS was the first conscious 'let's make things 'simple' with Bond again' movie in the series, like I muttered on the Casino Royale thread, but it's not as great as it could be. Best argument I've heard for it was that if it was Connery in that role it might be the best Bond film ever...well, *maybe

Pauline Kael made the argument too; but I do wish Diane Rigg had played Bond instead.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Monday, 20 November 2006 20:40 (nineteen years ago)

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