If you had to be killed at the zoo in a freak accident leading to some form of lethal mauling by any animal

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Leslie Neilsen, in "The Naked Gun", talks about a "Real man" should die like "having your nuts bitten off by an Eskimo".

So how would you kick the bucket in this fun, and amusing, scenario. I'd slip on a banana skin and fall head first into the polar bear's realm, knocking myself unconscious and becoming bear munchies. I always did feel sorry for polar bears.

― C-Man (C-Man), Thursday, 19 February 2004 20:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Clowing around above the giant clam tank AGAIN... anything for a laugh!

(When will I ever learn?)

― andy, Thursday, 19 February 2004 20:13 (twenty-two years ago)

You mean YOU'RE going to get killed, Calum?

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Thursday, 19 February 2004 20:14 (twenty-two years ago)

I would PFFRRRRRRRHAHAHA

― sdfsdf, Thursday, 19 February 2004 20:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm sorry. I'll start again

If I had to be HOHOHOHOHOHOHAHAHA WAAAAAAAAH sorry

― fgsf, Thursday, 19 February 2004 20:41 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.b4ta.com/images/festive-meerkats.jpg

― Nemo (JND), Thursday, 19 February 2004 20:42 (twenty-two years ago)

So I'm at the the zoo, right? If I HHHHHHHAAHAHAHAHAHEEHEEHEE

ah fuck it

― asdas, Thursday, 19 February 2004 20:43 (twenty-two years ago)

This thread is not gaining the respect is deserves chaps, now come on - let's try this again.

― C-Man (C-Man), Thursday, 19 February 2004 21:17 (twenty-two years ago)

OK OK

Here's how I would PFFFF at the PFFFFFFFRRRR you know and CRRRRRR SNORT BWHAhhhhhaaaaaaaa hhhhh

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA OMG

damn

― sdfasdf, Thursday, 19 February 2004 21:23 (twenty-two years ago)

who are you calling chap?

― todd swiss (eliti), Thursday, 19 February 2004 21:24 (twenty-two years ago)

geez man, thanks for wasting five seconds of my life.

― Kim (Kim), Thursday, 19 February 2004 21:25 (twenty-two years ago)

MOON BEARS // ASIATIC BLACK BEARS EATING MY FACE AFTER I TRY TO RUB THEIR TUMMIES.

― Ian Johnson (orion), Thursday, 19 February 2004 21:41 (twenty-two years ago)

(at the Roger Williams Park & Zoo in Providence, RI.)

― Ian Johnson (orion), Thursday, 19 February 2004 21:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Freeing animals that were happy where they were.

― jazz odysseus, Thursday, 19 February 2004 21:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Tripping and falling down to area with the animals.

I'd probably fall on top of the lion.

― Aja (aja), Thursday, 19 February 2004 21:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Being bored to death by mollusks.

― NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 19 February 2004 21:51 (twenty-two years ago)

You couldn't just eat one, get sick and thow up on a hippo?

― Aja (aja), Thursday, 19 February 2004 21:54 (twenty-two years ago)

eaten alive by a giant carnivorous plant, obv.

(this is pretty lame, calum)

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 19 February 2004 21:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Crushed when fornicating with a shewalrus

― Atila the Honeybun (Atila the Honeybun), Thursday, 19 February 2004 22:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Playing poker with the lion where the bets are body parts. Kind of like strip poker only instead of losing your pants with a bad hand, you'd lose, say, a leg.

Of course, I agreed to play not knowing that the lion cheats at cards.

― martin m. (mushrush), Thursday, 19 February 2004 22:46 (twenty-two years ago)

ok, get this. there are these penguins, right? and i'm all like, Penguins! I must live with them! So i go and live with the penguins. and i live with the penguins so long that i die with the penguins.

Oh yeah, and i wear a gigantic penguin suit the whole time.

and i form words with the syllables "peng" and "guin", like a pikachu might do in my situation.

why am i here

― chris d (Chris DeWolf), Friday, 20 February 2004 00:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Naked Man Found Dead In Penguin's Pool After Choking On Dead Mackerel

― Aimless (Aimless), Friday, 20 February 2004 00:45 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/onion2920w/bearrape.html

― ferg (Ferg), Friday, 20 February 2004 00:54 (twenty-two years ago)

dismembered by orangutan!!

a few years ago there was a man who tried to commit suicide here by leaping into the sun bear enclosure. little did he know those shaggy fiends like to play with their food! they batted him around for a bit, probably to tenderize the meat, before the keepers retrieved him. he got cut pretty good.

― vahid (vahid), Friday, 20 February 2004 00:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Naturally, I'd be making love with about 4 models simultaneously - in the gorilla's habitat. Except, contrary to the topic, the gorilla joins in and I walk away a very different person.

― JesusMaryChain, Friday, 20 February 2004 00:58 (twenty-two years ago)

actually, a gorilla escaped from the franklin park zoo in boston a while ago. he was roaming the straeets of jamaica plain. true story. I think he bit someone.

― Mike Hanle y (mike), Friday, 20 February 2004 04:01 (twenty-two years ago)

was he riding a camo dune buggy and singing goofy twee-dance-pop?

― Nate in ST.P (natedetritus), Friday, 20 February 2004 04:06 (twenty-two years ago)

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If you had to be killed at the zoo in a freak accident leading to some form of lethal mauling by any animal - how would it happen?