Customer Service Representatives

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What's more asinine then being placed on hold for 12 minutes when you're calling your COBRA provider to complain about yout $352.52 monthly payment? And having them tell you that you owe 705.04 because you've got to pay a month in advance? And (at the exclamation "holy friggin crap, I can't pay that") having them hang up on you because of your "unattractive profanity" thus necessitating another 12 minute wait to apologize and find the address to which the fucking bill should be sent?

NOTHING

― Atila the Honeybun (Atila the Honeybun), Thursday, 19 February 2004 21:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Don't worry. You're probably talking to inmates anyhow.

― dean! (deangulberry), Thursday, 19 February 2004 21:47 (twenty-two years ago)

What's worse? Me. I am the worst customer service rep ever. I have no clue why that's part of my title. I'm given SO much work to do, that I often have to put my phone on DO NOT DISTURB. Talk about service! ha ha

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 19 February 2004 21:52 (twenty-two years ago)

COBRA providers are notoriously unhelpful; and they have a reason to be. They don't want your business, and they'd love to drop your coverage but they're legally forced to keep you for 18 months.

I tried to keep my dental via COBRA and had a check returned uncashed because it was a day late.. with a letter informing me of the cancellation. But I got dentures! Ha, who won now!

― andy, Thursday, 19 February 2004 22:39 (twenty-two years ago)

"those who are not paid to give a shit, will often take one...on you"
Teddy Roosevelt

― Mike Hanle y (mike), Friday, 20 February 2004 04:00 (twenty-two years ago)

COBRA is such a joke. You're paying for insurance you were basically getting for free before, and you need COBRA to do this why?

The Travelocity customer service rep I spoke to tonight was very helpful once I finally got her on the phone after 45 minutes of elevator music.

― jody (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 20 February 2004 04:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Cobra-la!!!!

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Friday, 20 February 2004 05:22 (twenty-two years ago)

oh, COBRA is terrible. I just pretend that I'm paying GI Joe's Cobra money so that I don't get my ass kicked, that it's like an extortion scheme and if I don't do it the Russian mob is gonna break my arm. Oddly, it makes payment way easier.

http://www.kennyskrib.com/logos/Cobra.jpg

― Atila the Honeybun (Atila the Honeybun), Friday, 20 February 2004 05:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Cobra is a lot more expensive than just getting your own insurance, I've found since I quit my job.

I had massive problems dealing with Time Warner's customer service when I moved. 90% of their people don't actually speak English. It got to the point when I needed to change something on my order I just picked the Spanish line.

― Allyzay, Friday, 20 February 2004 05:45 (twenty-two years ago)

I am looking at COBRA this summer, grrr. My dad talked me into getting the expensive insurance, where you don't need a primary care physician, so that I can go to my allergist as my primary doctor. Seemed to make sense to me, so I signed up for that. Except this summer, I'm planning on asking for a leave of absence-- you can ask for up to 3 months unpaid, which is actually pretty nice of my company; you don't need a medical reason or anything. haha, but in investigating the details today, I found out that I have to cover the COBRA payments for my health insurance for those the months I take- and it has to be the insurance I'm normally on. Argh. Going with the HMO just for this year would have been so much cheaper!

― lyra (lyra), Friday, 20 February 2004 06:35 (twenty-two years ago)

"those who are not paid to give a shit, will often take one...on you"
Teddy Roosevelt
Funniest thing today!

― Speedy Gonzalas (Speedy Gonzalas), Friday, 20 February 2004 06:39 (twenty-two years ago)

My customer service reprazintin has helped me develop my nerves of steel over a couple years of hearing being told that apparenty I personally am "raping [our clients] in the ass with that fucking ridiculous bullshit", and I'm like "I'm sorry sir this is the best rate we can get for someone with a DUI on their driving record" and he be all like "yeah, I'm gonna DUI up your ass!".

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 20 February 2004 14:31 (twenty-two years ago)

You really should start taping your calls for the benefit of your friends.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 20 February 2004 14:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey, nickalicious!
http://www.psn.ne.jp/~h-somali/cat/gif/105.jpg

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 20 February 2004 14:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Once again I was a customer service rep in the porno phone industry, good times.

― Chris V (Chris V), Friday, 20 February 2004 14:38 (twenty-two years ago)

i will hold up liquor stores before going back to being a CSR.

― kephm, Friday, 20 February 2004 14:59 (twenty-two years ago)

me too.

― Chris V (Chris V), Friday, 20 February 2004 14:59 (twenty-two years ago)

I will... Oh, never mind, I'm still a CSR.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 20 February 2004 15:00 (twenty-two years ago)

but i became a trader after that which was actually worse...except for the $$.

― Chris V (Chris V), Friday, 20 February 2004 15:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Become support staff, then you have CSRs calling you with stuff they need because they have a customer in front of them, but you don't feel the pressure. "Oh ok then, I'll get that to you as soon as I can." Then you go on your scheduled break. Much better.

― Kim (Kim), Friday, 20 February 2004 17:19 (twenty-two years ago)

That said, I'm actualy pretty conscientious on the job. I just appreciate what a benefit it is to only deal with customers via another party.

― Kim (Kim), Friday, 20 February 2004 17:21 (twenty-two years ago)

"Oh ok then, I'll get that to you as soon as I can." Then you go on your scheduled break. Much better.
I ....Will.....Hunt....You.....Down...!!!! ;) Please see "Do you do a good job? thread.

― Speedy Gonzalas (Speedy Gonzalas), Friday, 20 February 2004 17:35 (twenty-two years ago)

i try to make my experiences with customer service folk an interesting one. if i'm mad + yelling and crap - once everything is out of my system i usually try to get the rep to tell me i was being an asshole: "no, it's okay. i know i was swearing at you and it's not your fault. go ahead. say it. tell me i was being cock-sucker¡" they never do.

― dyson (dyson), Friday, 20 February 2004 17:51 (twenty-two years ago)

I've found great success in pressing the # key over and over into the rep.'s ear as means for achieving attention.

― The Second Drummer Drowned (Atila the Honeybun), Friday, 20 February 2004 17:58 (twenty-two years ago)

haha no I actually didn't read that thread. My post was actually more of a theoretical example - the job is good because you can do that - IF YOU WANT TO. Me, I'm one of those dumbasses that will skip all their breaks and staylate for free whenever we're especially "needed", so probably I'm just trying to live vicariously here.

― Kim (Kim), Friday, 20 February 2004 17:59 (twenty-two years ago)

part of my job is support for the CS Reps. we go through reps v quickly, which in turn mean new reps making mistakes all the time which means more job security for me. job security and much more work but like kim says i have the freedom to go out for a break and i do not deal with anyone on the phone. if a phone rep patches a phone call though to my dept we drown them.

― kephm, Friday, 20 February 2004 18:13 (twenty-two years ago)

I always get excited whenever I call customer service because I might be talking to someone in Louisiana, Manila, or Bangalore!!!

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Friday, 20 February 2004 18:44 (twenty-two years ago)

You use that last place in a limerick and it pretty much writes itself.

― oops (Oops), Friday, 20 February 2004 18:50 (twenty-two years ago)

In Bangalore was a fellow named Orange.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 20 February 2004 18:52 (twenty-two years ago)

*shakes fist*

― oops (Oops), Friday, 20 February 2004 18:54 (twenty-two years ago)

From Bombay to Bangalore
all the Hindus know the score
if you wanna live some more
hare, hare, hare,
If you do not take the vow
you can eat the sacred cow
you'll get karma anyhow
hare, hare, hare

Bow down mister
hare rama, hare krishna
bow down mister
we say radha syam

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Friday, 20 February 2004 19:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Channelling Bally Sagoo, Spencer?

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Friday, 20 February 2004 19:03 (twenty-two years ago)

That would actually be Boy George.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Friday, 20 February 2004 19:04 (twenty-two years ago)

This thread is so my new favorite cuz when people see it on my toolbar down below it doesn't give any hints that it might not be work related, unlike typical ilx titles like 'fat bees take hits from the BONG!' and 'all anal pr0n...s/d?'.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 20 February 2004 19:27 (twenty-two years ago)

haha we should give all threads 'work' titles. "maximizing your potential", "Bosses: Classic or OMG Soooo Freakin Awesome", "more ways to take one for the team" etc etc

― oops (Oops), Friday, 20 February 2004 19:30 (twenty-two years ago)

And all picture threads should consist solely of that standard office clipart featuring those bowlegged Dagwood-nose silhouettes

― Nate in ST.P (natedetritus), Friday, 20 February 2004 19:37 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.worldstart.com/msoffice/screenshots/tight-wrap-on-clip-art.gif

― Nate in ST.P (natedetritus), Friday, 20 February 2004 19:39 (twenty-two years ago)

http://esc.calumet.purdue.edu/register/images/clipart/analyze.jpg

― Nate in ST.P (natedetritus), Friday, 20 February 2004 19:43 (twenty-two years ago)

http://clerccenter.gallaudet.edu/TPD/news/images/feb02-page5.gif

― Nate in ST.P (natedetritus), Friday, 20 February 2004 19:44 (twenty-two years ago)

(from L to R, clipartguy1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

clipartguy4: I have a wonderful idea. Let's make a p0rn0!
clipartguy5: How will it go. Wait, what are those blokes doing.
clipartguy1: *wanking clipartguy2*
clipartguy3: *massaging clipartguy2's prostate*
clipartguy2: Who's idea was this anyway?

Good lord I'm bored.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 20 February 2004 19:50 (twenty-two years ago)

two weeks pass...

sarah - your crown as "worst customer service rep ever" has just been ripped away by some guy that never gave me his name.

fucking apple.

this tech support guy takes my information, then leaves me with dead silence for over 10 minutes. i was literally just about to hang up when he comes back. i ask (in a calm voice): "what the hell happened¿ i thought i'd been hung up on or something". this guy fa-reeks on me, i ask him (again calmly) to relax and that made him angrier - he begins ranting and isn't letting me squeeze a single word in. he then demands i apologize for "cussing"¡ i manage to say, "listen, i was just...", before he hangs up. i called back + was dysconnected before i even got to speak to tech support. the 3rd time i got through there was no record of my ever calling and no supervisor i could speak to about the incident. those 3 calls plus a call to customer relations - each call i was on hold for around 15 minutes. after all that it took them all of 2 minutes to address my issue (+ apparently i’m fucked).

today apple has wasted well over an hour of my life and i am going to return my ipod and reevaluate my loyalty to this company.

i recommend, sarah, you find this man - defeat him in the field of battle, eat his heart, thus acquiring his power and reclaim your title.

― dyson (dyson), Saturday, 6 March 2004 20:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Cripes. That's awful and a half. I say send SOMETHING in to them, letter or e-mail -- even without a record of it happening, you've got to call it to their attention. Try and give exact times if you can.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 6 March 2004 20:16 (twenty-two years ago)

five years pass...

terrific experience with HSBC customer service rep today. he sounded cute, too

― oops i accidentally made it personal (surm), Thursday, 12 November 2009 19:18 (sixteen years ago)

that's always nice. It doesn't even take much on their part sometimes to make it better experience.

― carne asada, Thursday, 12 November 2009 19:35 (sixteen years ago)

My job (bookkeeping) has absorbed, amoeba-styles, our company's lone customer service position, after the girl who used to do it took one too many unannounced days off, and I am FREAKING THE FUCK OUT. I need the extra money, and the salary option/benefits at the end of the year will be a godsend (mediocre medical coverage for free instead of $200/month, whoopee) but that's only if I can keep from imploding during the holiday rush.

― More Butty In Your Pants (Telephone thing), Thursday, 12 November 2009 23:02 (sixteen years ago)

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