Pub Nightmares

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What are the worst pubs you know? Tell funny tales about them.

― Tom, Thursday, 18 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

not exactly a pub, but the Trojan Club (or Troy Club) in Hanle y Street of Oxford Street and Tott Ct Rd = like having a jar in Barquentine's bedroom. I wuz there for M's b'day 1999: it was also the landlady's b'day, so she got to sing. Traditional Irish violence ballads, accompanied on an electric piano. By a man so floridly bad that even she told him to stop. Not enuff chairs: I had to sit on a beer cask = v.uncomfortablew as they have sharp rims. Cramped room = full of kinds of Soho foax who have been drinking themselves steadily to death since 1956: half-recognised actors with wizened old-young deadboy faces. B'day songs ovah, and a man stands up and declaims a POEM dedicated to cocaine, its wonders and terrors. This lasts for AT LEAST half an hour.

M's then-bf breaks up with her the following day: happy b'day girl!! T, who was also there, breaks up with her then-bf the day after: he was basically unable to cope with the wonders and the terrors of this evening. I left to go to launchparty of Jude Law/ Sadie Frost movie, forget name, it was v.v.v.terrible and no one went to see it, at a posh club which wuz busted and shut down within a month.

― mark s, Thursday, 18 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

having a jar in Barquentine's bedroom

Now *that's* a comparison. And thank you for reminding me I need to get the DVD of the TV adaptation.

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 18 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

TV adaptation = rubbish largely. They got Prunesquallor, the twins and Fuschia right but most everything else wrong. And even Fuschia was too skinny by half.

― RickyT, Thursday, 18 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

When Steerpike is at his most evil I think he should morph into one of the GENTLEMEN vvv briefly on his deathbed in a ARRRRGH!!! manner. Look at his eyes, arrgh Hush ect ect.

Buffy tonight, Mark.

― Sarah, Thursday, 18 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i am leaving work as we speak

― mark s, Thursday, 18 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

fuck, buffy! ooh noo. I have to leave NOW.

― alix, Thursday, 18 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

And won't they all be fuming when they rush home from work only to find that the fucking snooker is on, again?

― Mark Morris, Thursday, 18 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The worst pub in the world is reputed to be the Cooper's Arms in Chadwell Heath, home of junkies and violent drunks. Reputed = I have never been in there, no-one will come with me.

― DG, Thursday, 18 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The least popular pub I've ever been in was the Bull in Leatherhead. It had used to be the local villain's drinker until a stabbing had got it closed down, all the villains went elsewhere and the Bull re- opened with a very shiny, lovingly-prepared new look - American 50s decor everywhere, good jukebox, comfy seats and tables, perfectly good range of beers....and NOBODY went. The busiest I ever saw it was when one table was full with 8 people having an office leaving do, otherwise it was me, my brother, one bloke in the corner and that was it, every night we were there. It was a perfectly nice pub but the staff had an air of absolute hopelessness as they watched the brewery investment get pissed away into a punter vacuum, so the atmosphere was just ghastly. It staggered on for a year and then died. This was at a time when Leatherhead only had one other pub in the town centre, too.

― Tom, Thursday, 18 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

TV adaptation = rubbish largely.

Imperfect, but come on! You're saying Christopher Lee as Flay didn't work?

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 18 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I thought the TV adaptation was poor, but the more I think about it the more I think there couldn't have actually been a good TV adaptation. But the episode I saw managed to capture precisely nothing of what I thought was good about the books - I can't imagine anyone who hadn't read them already coming to them through it.

― Tom, Thursday, 18 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I thought the TV adaptation was absolutely terrible but I'd gladly sit through it a dozen more times so I could ogle Steerpike. (Fuschia annoyed the living hell out of me though. She was so inconsistent.)

― Maria, Thursday, 18 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The Frost/Law film was called Shopping. I know it because there is an old Select in my bathroom and I've used it as throning reading material lately. It turns out there's a review of the film in question. Apparently it's utter shite indeed. Luckily Ferrara's Dangerous Game was released that same month, so it's hard to tell which one's the worst film of the month.

― Simon, Thursday, 18 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

no it's not simon it's called final cut, and it's worse than shopping OR dangerous game (if that's the ferrara w. madonna in)

― mark s, Thursday, 18 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Christopher Lee was good, but he wasn't really how I imagined Flay. And Fuschia is supposed to be flighty and inconsistent and a bit rubbish.

― RickyT, Thursday, 18 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

And more importantly: Fuschia in book = young RickyT mega monster crush, Fuschia on telly = older RickyT crush still there

― RickyT, Thursday, 18 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I see, so it's all about YOU, is what you're saying. ;-)

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 19 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yes. You got a problem with that, Raggett?

― RickyT, Friday, 19 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Shopping = film about joyriding and ramraiding with no car chases in it. Surely the whole point of a film about ramraiding and joyriding is to get some wicked stunts in.

Final Cut film about luvvies being annoying. I also saw that. It was like Peter's Friends without a script. Everyone played themselves and did that improvising thing that actors always do which is to say "Fuck" a lot in a meanful yet meaningless way. Tis rubbish. Although it could have also been Love, Honour and Obey which is by exactly the same people but about karaoke gangsters saying fuck a lot.

― Pete, Friday, 19 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I can't stand any film featuring Sadie Frost and her smug face. I have such an irrational hatred of her visage it utterly pollutes any film for me, even if it has only the most fleeting of appearances.

― RickyT, Friday, 19 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

six years pass...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/glasgow_and_west/7540994.stm

― The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Monday, 4 August 2008 13:22 (seventeen years ago)

prison would not be able to cope with your condition

You still go to the pub where you went with your wife. That must annoy her relatives

― blueski, Monday, 4 August 2008 13:30 (seventeen years ago)

i think we can all agree that the world was certainly left no poorer with the excision of Ina Flaherty

― MPx4A, Monday, 4 August 2008 13:30 (seventeen years ago)

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