Hey, BLAME the British for Something!

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To offset this thread, Hey, Thank The British For Something!, let's turn this around!

I blame the British for...warm beer (which is the damn wrong way to serve it), Oasis, the Darkness, Benny fucking Hill, "Are You Being Served?", Eric Clapton, "Love, Actually", STING and Julio Desouza's inexplicable dismissal of the Clash, the Jam and the Damned.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:02 (twenty-two years ago)

It's not WARM it's just not ICE COLD.

I blame us for the Clash. It's all our fault and we should be ashamed.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Complaining about the usual temperature bitter is served at is like complaining that red wine isn't cold.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:05 (twenty-two years ago)

add killing joke to the pile of attrocities.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:06 (twenty-two years ago)

It's a weak one, I'll admit, but I couldn't resist. Honestly, the last few times I was over there, the beer temperature didn't really occur to me as being problematic. That "pubs close at 11pm" thing, however, is FUCKING RIDICULOUS!

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Kula Shaker. Damon Albarn. Etc.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:07 (twenty-two years ago)

At least we can smoke in pubs. ;)

― Nick H (Nick H), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:09 (twenty-two years ago)

The USA. It's all our fault. Sorry.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:09 (twenty-two years ago)

I forgot Guy Ritchie. Him too.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:10 (twenty-two years ago)

pubs close at 11pm - in England only.

― hmmm, Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:12 (twenty-two years ago)

I blame us for utilitarianiasm.

And closing time seconded. Some of us don't have homes to go to (well not that early anyway).

― pete s, Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Also Nick Moran.
Anyone in any Guy Ritchie films who isn't Brad Pitt in fact.
Vinnie Jones especially.
The entire parliamentary Tory party.
A variety of unpleasant protestant sects.
Concentration camps.
Salad cream.

All our fault.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:15 (twenty-two years ago)

I blame the British for "Intelligent Dance Music"

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Roger Waters. We killed his dad you know.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:16 (twenty-two years ago)

add killing joke to the pile of attrocities.

Cheer up, Julio. All active members of the band have since renounced their Brtitish citizenship and live elsewhere.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Tombot OTM

― Matt (Matt), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:17 (twenty-two years ago)

I blame the British for abbreviating anything possible with '-ie' or '-y' endings.
Offy.
Chrissie Pressie.
Choccy Biccy.

― sgs (sgs), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Being ashamed of the Clash and Guy Ritchie is like America being ashamed of The Ramones and Tarantino in my opinion.

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:17 (twenty-two years ago)

um...America...

― winterland, Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:18 (twenty-two years ago)

I smell new threads.....

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh Noooooooo

― Matt (Matt), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:19 (twenty-two years ago)

hahaha

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:19 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm all new-threaded out for the morning. Fret not.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Braveheart. We killed him too, and he was one of us.
And therefore Mel Gibson's subsequent career.
Yes, even The Passion Of Christ.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:19 (twenty-two years ago)

I blame the British for Anglophiles.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:20 (twenty-two years ago)

The ramones were awful too. wouldn't compare tarantino to guy ritchie.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Mind you, it's a bit of a slow day, a good old fashioned slanging match would liven things up no end...

(xpost)

― Matt (Matt), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Come now, Mel Gibson had a career before "Braveheart". Blame Australia (whom you colonized initially, so I guess it is your fault!)

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Julio hating the Ramones. Do you hate joy too, Julio?

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, I forgot...you're a jazzbo, aren't you. Figures.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:21 (twenty-two years ago)

the "-z" weirdness on names:
Shaz
Baz
Bez
Jez
http://graal.co.uk/coleman.jpg

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:24 (twenty-two years ago)

though I'm sure it's not Jaz's fault; he's just a product of his environment!

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:25 (twenty-two years ago)

I think that's great! I think everyone should do that.

― El Diablo Robazza (Nicole), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:25 (twenty-two years ago)

you know what's really scary, Mel Gibson was born in the united states so he could run for president if he wanted to.

― scott seward (scott seward), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Lay off the hatorade, fux0rz. (x-post)

Ramones = 1000 x better than the clash

tombot is correct about IDM haha.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:27 (twenty-two years ago)

until your boss call you Daz and Dazzer all of the time.

― jack cole (jackcole), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:28 (twenty-two years ago)

The Spice Girls and their solo careers. Specifically Posh.
Lad mags.

― j.lu (j.lu), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Oi. Liz is a standard abbreviation. How would you like it if people could call you 'Lizzie' or 'Beth' or other (to me) nauseating examples? Some names are just a but crap.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:28 (twenty-two years ago)

ramones were 'joy'? which planet do you come from alex?

x-post: yer right norman, but still terrible.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:29 (twenty-two years ago)

will you please take minnie driver back now? please. she's corrupting the morals of half the male stars in hollywood.

― scott seward (scott seward), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:30 (twenty-two years ago)

The Spice Girls and their solo careers. Specifically Posh.

They're the greatest! I almost feel like posting Traino-esque poetic tributes to them.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, Minnie's Irish, isn't she?

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:31 (twenty-two years ago)

She's named after a british car though.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:31 (twenty-two years ago)

is she, well then they can have her back then. remind me when we get to the blame the irish thread.

― scott seward (scott seward), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh come on, the ramones were fucking great!!

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:33 (twenty-two years ago)

http://seattlemusicweb.com/ramones-nc79.gif =JOY!

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:34 (twenty-two years ago)

HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY!

― Stimpy, Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:35 (twenty-two years ago)

It's not WARM it's just not ICE COLD.

it is amazing how people fail to grasp this elementary point.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I have only had genuinely warm beer once. It mung. It was at the Battersea Settle Inn, which was a bit shit to start with. If the warm beer wasn't damning enough, not ten minutes after my first sip the entire London population of posh hockey players descended on the place and filled it with their braying. Vile, vile place.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Pubs called things like the Settle Inn: still our fault.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 15:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Skipping 25 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

But, fuck, the Beautiful game man ! Is there anything else like it ?

― darren (darren), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 16:39 (twenty-two years ago)

football, girls aloud, maggie thatcher, arsenal fc, monkeys, cheese, stress, james bond, the queen, MILFS!

― gaol clichy (clichy), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 16:40 (twenty-two years ago)

we all love M.I.L.F.S!!!!!!!!!!

― RTG (RTG), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 16:41 (twenty-two years ago)

and girls aloud
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

― RTG (RTG), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 16:41 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't think not liking football makes one a 'snob' - I mean the culture of many sports is pretty macho and unappealing to many people.

I can't stand American football because it brings with it too many bad memories of having to work in the kitchen while the guys are sitting around with their football.

― Kerry (dymaxia), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 16:49 (twenty-two years ago)

the snobbishness was more of the tone Kerry, something that most people have got used to or just think "oh, there's Momus being Momus again".

But many of those points were off the mark, and sweeping with it.

― chris (chris), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 16:52 (twenty-two years ago)

football, girls aloud, maggie thatcher, arsenal fc, monkeys, cheese, stress, james bond, the queen, MILFS!

what kind of cheese? stilton?

― scott seward (scott seward), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 16:55 (twenty-two years ago)

I blame the british for the brit rom-com, the brit cockney comedy crime caper, the brit comedy thriller, the brit late night clubba-mental film etc etc etc

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 17:04 (twenty-two years ago)

'* distinct lack of world-scale painters and composers.'

Arnold, Turner, Walton, Gainsborough, Elgar, Hogarth, Tallis, Stanley Spencer, Orlando Gibbons, Blake, Vaughan Williams, Constable, Purcell, Tippet, Reynolds, Holst, Palmer, Byrd, Britten, Hilliard, Delius, Bax, Bacon, John Dowland.

It's a crass and false cliche. I'm not having it. And by the way Handel chose to live here for 50 years, and many of his greatest works are written in English.

― pete s, Tuesday, 24 February 2004 17:05 (twenty-two years ago)

what about lucien freud, he creeps me out.

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 17:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, i forgot him. I also decided to leave out, because of potential discussions about their 'world-scaleness' these: Burne-Jones, Stanford, Richard Wilson, Parry, Millais, Arne, Boyce, Blow, Maxwell-Davies, William Morris, Sutherland, Bliss, Holman Hunt, Bridget Riley, Ireland, Moeran, Rubbra, Goehr etc. but they've all helped to enrich british art somewhere along the way.

― pete s, Tuesday, 24 February 2004 17:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Gilbert and Sullivan (tho not Sullivan on his own).

― pete s, Tuesday, 24 February 2004 17:29 (twenty-two years ago)

monkeys don't come from England!

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 17:59 (twenty-two years ago)

just davey jones nyuck nyuck

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 18:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Cheer up sleepy jean.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 18:03 (twenty-two years ago)

All well and good, I don't say Britain has no artists and no composers. But go into a living room outside the British Isles and try to find a single record by Walton or a reproduction of a painting by Stanley Spencer. You won't.

― Momus (Momus), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 18:58 (twenty-two years ago)

And does the typical german home feature Schubert and Grosz?

― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 19:00 (twenty-two years ago)

In Germany you'd probably see Frida Kahlo or Van Gogh on the average wall. And maybe a Durer hare. The 'foreign' artists represented would not be British ones. Except in pop music.

― Momus (Momus), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 19:23 (twenty-two years ago)

what about world scale poets and novelists?

― isadora (isadora), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 19:32 (twenty-two years ago)

This is what I found in the way of decoration last time I went to a German person's home:

― Momus (Momus), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 19:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Well you can't be at the top in everything; by common consent Britain's Art is it's literature, almost no other nation or ppl can compete with the litany of names in this department. How many 'world-class' French or Spanish composers are there? Probably the same as for Britain, and you're not going to find many cds/lps of Rameau, Lully, Albeniz outside of their respective cultural homes. Dutch literature? Italian music doesn't even stray out of the opera genre for the most part after Vivaldi. Are you likely to see George Seferis' poems on a British bookshelf? No but you'll see Shakespeare's sonnets, Sense and Sensibilty and Ulysses on a bookshelf on the continent.

― pete s, Tuesday, 24 February 2004 19:37 (twenty-two years ago)

One thing i woulod say is we're not/ traditionally haven't been as culturally 'showy' as other European countries. We don't proclaim ourselves as aesthetic genuiuses. We don't obsess about the make of our furniture. We don't hang provocative miniatures in the toilet.
We don't equate high art and high-breeding in the same way. We doin't tend to commit suicide over an unpublished novel. We don't venerate artists like gods and have little time for the neurotic-proustian-suffering-genius routine. We don't accept art-as-religion.
All in all we're an unassuming, provincial people. But in our own quiet way we produce art of the highest order, with less fuss and egotism involved. And it's consistently entertaining and truthful.

― pete s, Tuesday, 24 February 2004 19:55 (twenty-two years ago)

'being obsessed with ...... football'

Very different from Italy and Spain (how many football newspapers do they have between them? Fifteen??).

― pete s, Tuesday, 24 February 2004 20:16 (twenty-two years ago)

But in our own quiet way we produce art of the highest order, with less fuss and
egotism involved. And it's consistently entertaining and truthful.

i think this is the part where someone posts a picture of mick jagger wearing a superman cape:)

― scott seward (scott seward), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 20:17 (twenty-two years ago)

ie making a fool of himself. Briish self-parody/humour scott

― pete s, Tuesday, 24 February 2004 20:19 (twenty-two years ago)

We doin't tend to commit suicide over an unpublished novel. We don't venerate artists like gods

I'm often struck by the fact that, opening a cultural magazine or newspaper review section in Paris, Berlin or Tokyo, I'll see a photo of a British writer (and I do accept that British writers and pop musicians have global reach) and think 'Now, that's an interesting face! Why have I never seen it before? It's a British writer. And as such it's of little interest to the British media.' That face has the feel of some deep, dark secret. It's not that artists are 'not gods' in Britain, it's that there's some odd collective effort to keep them out of public sight. I'm talking about people like Ken Loach, John Berger, even Patricia Highsmith or Francis Bacon. You're much more likely to see their faces in a French bookshop than a British one.

― Momus (Momus), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 20:34 (twenty-two years ago)

i thought patricia highsmith was american.

― scott seward (scott seward), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 20:41 (twenty-two years ago)

She was.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 20:42 (twenty-two years ago)

i think she was born in texas. although she was very european.

― scott seward (scott seward), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 20:43 (twenty-two years ago)

and she was more popular in europe. and taken more seriously there. i think.it's only been fairly recently that a lot of her books were in print in the states.

― scott seward (scott seward), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 20:45 (twenty-two years ago)

''It's not that artists are 'not gods' in Britain, it's that there's some odd collective effort to keep them out of public sight.''

is this really true? and if so, why do you phrase it like its a bad thing? why do these people need to be in the 'public sight'.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 20:57 (twenty-two years ago)

is martin amis kept out of sight in england?

― scott seward (scott seward), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 20:59 (twenty-two years ago)

lack of a white beer tradition
Yes, YES. Y. E. S.

― Chuck Tatum (Chuck Tatum), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 21:08 (twenty-two years ago)

is this really true? and if so, why do you phrase it like its a bad thing? why do these people need to be in the 'public sight'.

It seems to me it's an unhealthy society which hides away its artists and intellectuals. What is there to aspire to, if they're hidden, except sports stars, soap stars and pop idols? And is that really aspiring?

― Momus (Momus), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 21:21 (twenty-two years ago)

''is martin amis kept out of sight in england?''

as i recall, when martin amis had his last book published there was plenty of talk and I'm sure I saw bits of an interview with him.

same with someone like ken loach, he doesn't hide.

and I don't really read newspapers or watch many arts programmes anymore (patronising stuff but mostly I like the way many of the ppl here talk abt stuff).

''It seems to me it's an unhealthy society which hides away its artists and intellectuals''

but what about BBC four. sure its on digital, but as it expands this won't exactly be hiding.

''What is there to aspire to, if they're hidden, except sports stars, soap stars and pop idols? And is that really aspiring?''

of course it is! actually even more so now that it seems that more people can be 'stars' (reality TV).

And don't tell you didn't want to be the new david bowie or gary numan dude!

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 21:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm tempted to blame Brit(i)s(h football) for Abramovich, bah.

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 22:09 (twenty-two years ago)

why do you want to see writers' faces. Having nice faces is not what they do

― isadora (isadora), Wednesday, 25 February 2004 01:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Things I blame Britain for:

The aforementioned Benjamin F. Hill Esq
Carry On movies
'Are You Being Served'
'And Mother Makes Three'
Hale and Pace
Fleet Street
The Daily Mail
The New Musical Express
The Sex Pistols and all other ADD-addled brat bands full of press stunts, bad language, safety pins and bullshit
Rick Wakeman's Yes and all other pretentious art-school wanker bands full of twenty-minute I'm-so-shit-hot solos, obscure references to Shakespears or Greek mythology, three-line album titles and bullshit
Oasis and all other bad-boy wannabee bands full of I-smell-a-dead-fish facial expressions, 'attitood' and bullshit
The Spice Girls
Gary Glitter
Alvin Stardust
The 'Chinless Wonder' school of acting (founded by David Niven and carried on by Hugh Grant)
Geoffrey Boycott
Ian Botham
Some of the worst Test cricketers of the last 30 years
Soccer hooligans
Most of the Royal family

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Wednesday, 25 February 2004 02:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Benny Hill
Margaret Thatcher
Spice Girls
Are You Being Served
Shitty Exchange Rates
EurRail Travel inconvenience

― Orbit (Orbit), Wednesday, 25 February 2004 03:30 (twenty-two years ago)

ILX

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 25 February 2004 04:48 (twenty-two years ago)

obscure references to shakespeare and greek mythology

ha ha! Maw, ah hates them limeys and they pansy ass book learnin'

― pulpo, Wednesday, 25 February 2004 09:39 (twenty-two years ago)

By Jove, Iago, how the knave doth slander us!
(20 minute guitar solo with three changes of time signature.)

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 25 February 2004 10:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Pedantic, I know, but we have Ireland to thank/blame for Ulysses.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 25 February 2004 11:01 (twenty-two years ago)

I blame Britain for attempting to singlehandedly prevent the phrase "the good old days" from becoming the nonsensical laughingstock it deserves to be.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 25 February 2004 11:09 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't hear that phrase very often, tracer.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Wednesday, 25 February 2004 13:48 (twenty-two years ago)

you used to, back when life was better

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 25 February 2004 13:49 (twenty-two years ago)

ah!

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Wednesday, 25 February 2004 13:50 (twenty-two years ago)

i blame britain for madonna's stupid accent. she's from detroit! she's lived here only slightly longer than me!

ok, i blame madonna.

― colette (a2lette), Wednesday, 25 February 2004 13:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Have you heard yourself lately?

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 25 February 2004 14:24 (twenty-two years ago)

one year passes...

Shopkeepers

― barry, Saturday, 5 March 2005 10:00 (twenty-one years ago)

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