No more beards for you Turkmenistan punks

Sensible policies for a fairer Turkmenistan, surely

well, he's right about one thing (sike)

I wonder what the Turkmenistan regime spends annually on performance art? In an average year?

Sometimes a benevolent dictator will force to cut your hair, but it's for your own good.

Or....

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_548275.html?menu=news.quirkies

FITE...

Apologies..above is Giant Turkman Shoe Link

A violation of my basic human rights! Give me long hair or give me death, you meanies.

i didn't know you got bears in the ocean!!

[sews sides back together]

or
http://www.dcs.gla.ac.uk/~muffy/photographs/beards.jpg

it's your choice folks

President Saparmurat Niyavoz used a recent public holiday to regale the nation with a work of his own - The New Turkmen Spirit.

Mr Niyazov, whose initiatives include renaming months of the year after himself, left no doubt about the spirit's identity: him.

The poem expresses his devotion to the nation, but warns against dissent.

"I am the Turkmen spirit, reborn to bring you a golden age," the poem begins.

It goes on to echo a favourite theme of Mr Niyazov, who likes to be known as Turkmenbashi, or leader of the Turkmen - that he protects and sacrifices himself for his people.

"I do not spare myself for you, for I am devoted to you all," he promises, adding, "I am your saviour."

President Niyazov of Turkmenistan has ordered the construction of a palace made of ice in the heart of his desert country, one of the hottest on earth.

It is the latest in a series of colossal building projects instigated by the all-powerful president that seem to defy the country's environment.

"Let us build a palace of ice," said President Niyazov, "big and grand enough for 1,000 people."

The palace will stand in the mountains just outside the capital, Ashgabat.

President Niyazov made the announcement in a speech broadcast on Turkmen television, which in effect made it a presidential order.

The idea is to build the palace in the Copa Deg Mountains outside Ashgabat, now baking in the summer heat, with a long cable-car running up from the city.

"Our children can learn to ski," Mr Niyazov enthused, "we can build cafes there, and restaurants."

what a wonderful sentence

And today...

Turkmen leader closes hospitals

Reports from Turkmenistan say President Niyazov has ordered the closure of all the hospitals in the country except those in the capital, Ashgabat.

...

President Niyazov apparently took the decision to close the hospitals at a meeting with local officials on Monday.

"Why do we need such hospitals?" he said. "If people are ill, they can come to Ashgabat."

This, after all, is a leader whose gold-leaf covered statue can be seen in the city's skyline as it rotates to face the sun, a man who has renamed the month of January after himself.

The ornate palace is one of two belonging to the President, who in fact lives in neither, preferring another residence out of town. Inside, the motif is marble rather than gold, with a decorated roof overhanging an enormous entrance hall which sports large paintings of Turkoman warriors of the past.

Up the large central staircase and through two antechambers lies the President's chandeliered office, where a stocky man wearing a white short-sleeved shirt and a long red tie sits behind an elaborate floral display. Despite his eye and heart surgery, the President looks fit and energetic, having died jet black the grey hair that can be seen in his portrait on the country's banknotes. In the entire palace there is only one hint that we are in a former Soviet republic; visitors needing to answer a call of nature are advised to bring their own lavatory paper.

TURKMENISTAN'S president-for-life, Saparmurat Niyazov, has ordered a zoo be built for 300 species of birds and animals, including penguins, in the Central Asian republic's Kara Kum desert, state television has announced.

The decision comes a year after the 65-year-old strongman announced construction of an ice palace capable of holding 1000 people.

My sister is in Turkmenistan right now (as part of visiting all the 'stans). A recent blog entry...

How to kill time in Ashgabat:

*Take a taxi ride across the city to the Internet cafe: 40 cents

*Drink a can of Sprite along the way: 35 cents

A few ramblings:

Since Niyazov, the Great Turkmenbashi--father of all Turkmens--died last December, the shroud of paranoia has lifted considerably. For example, the checkpoints and searches along the highway that added two hours to any trip are gone and so are the alleged soldiers that stood guard outside this Internet cafe (although my name and passport number are documented every time I've been in here). That said, guards are everywhere. I wander freely about the city and find one street with several awesome gold Turkmenbashi statues and busts. My favorite is one where he's sitting, looking kind of pensive, kinda goofy. As soon as my camera comes out, a guard blows on his whistle. No, no, no. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Must be some ministry. Another gold statue stands alone in a park amongst the trees, looking kinda lonely.

Ironically, I can rapid-fire shoot pictures of Turkmen women to my heart's content. They dig it, whether they're blood-letting chickens, selling melons, or visiting ruins in the desert. In fact, they try to pile in front of the camera. And they have cameras, too, and I'm in their pictures, of which they're undoubtedly shrieking their heads off on some Turkmen version of My Space. Mutual curiosity on how strange both sides look here. The best thing in this country is the genuine friendliness and hospitality of the Turkmen--as yet unspoiled by hoards of tourists, an advantage to the country being so hard to get into.

Advantages of being a Turkmen:

*Round trip flights across the country for about $5 (and on a Boeing, not a Yak or some other former Soviet horror.

*I carry 3 liters of liquid on board a plane from Mary (Merv) to Ashgabat. No problem. Don't have to take my shoes off either.

*Gasoline is virtually free.

v. intersting! this made me giggle - "not a Yak or some other former Soviet horror".

So sad. The new guy is being sensible:

Due to popular demand, the Turkmen calendar will revert to its Turkic and Russian-language names.

Former President Saparmurat Niyazov, who died in 2006, had named January after his own honorific - Turkmenbashi, or Father of the Turkmen.

Other months and days were named after his mother and historical figures.

More on the Ice Palace

"Niyazov himself named the first visitors of the Ice Palace. He suggested that members of the Cabinet of Ministers should skate once a week. He even set the time of skating for them, at 7 a.m."

They're taking down the statue:

http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2008/05/05/world/05turkem-inline1-500.jpg

A 246-foot tall, rocket ship-like monument to the late ruler of Turkmenistan, topped with a golden statue of himself that rotates to always face the sun

:O

Maybe it's naive but I'm still amazed that batshit egomaniacal fuckheads like that can get into power without someone going "woah wtf, coup maybe?" Who the hell sticks up for them? Does everyone in the government just think "yeah he's a loon, but kickbacks 4 me!"?

I'm really impressed by his unusually harmless, seemingly non-religious, ding-a-ling sort of tyranny, as opposed to what you might see from the more genuinely oppressive keeps-you-poor and gets-you-dead sort of tyrant. I suppose that replacing 15,000 medical workers with military draftees is a pretty dire move, but everything else was really more along the lines of outlawing whistling and, I don't know, dance moves that might outclass the Great Leader's. It's probably a bit hard to vex the masses into a full coup over, y'know, beards.

"Does everyone in the government just think "yeah he's a loon, but kickbacks 4 me!"?

yes

i don't think that robbing an entire nation of oil money while keeping them destitute and repressed is really that harmless. there was no oversight to turkmenbashi and the lack of media/internet access to turkmenistan doesn't mean he didn't do some nasty shit. i'll bet you a rabies shot that he did.

really, turkmenistan was like a baby step up from north korea in terms of foreign access.

Maybe it's naive but I'm still amazed that batshit egomaniacal fuckheads like that can get into power
http://www.thefirstpost.co.uk/opinion/2005/07/images/070814borismain.jpg

Wait, is that what Boris actually looks like? Thom Yorke 1993 gone to seed?

busey!

When I am Mayor you will be first against the wall.

i don't think that robbing an entire nation of oil money while keeping them destitute and repressed is really that harmless
now that I didn't see in the article. damn.

Turkmenistan ex-leader Niyazov's arch to be removed

A giant arch topped by a gold-plated statue of Turkmenistan's late leader, Saparmyrat Niyazov, is to be moved out of the centre of the country's capital.
President Kurbanguly Berdymukhamedov, who took power after the strongman's death in 2006, gave the order to remove the monument from central Ashgabat.

The statue on the 75-m (246-ft) arch was designed to rotate towards the sun.

Its removal is seen as a new step to dismantle the personality cult around "Turkmenbashi", as Niyazov was known.

Turkmenistan dictator's golden statue is toppled

A prominent golden statue of Turkmenistan's former dictator has been taken down, further eroding the personality cult around the late leader.

The Arch of Neutrality was the most distinctive monument in honour of the eccentric leader Saparmurat Niyazov.

His gold-plated statue stood on a 230ft white tile-clad tripod and rotated to face the sun. The statue stopped rotating several weeks ago, workers removed the statue on Wednesday and the base was dismantled yesterday.

http://www.globaldashboard.org/2012/01/08/oh-to-be-in-the-president-of-turkmenistans-entourage/

So it turns out the guy who replaced Niyazov had...his own thing:

https://globalvoices.org/2024/02/19/a-deep-dive-into-the-musical-repertoire-of-turkmenistans-national-leader/

Why am I thinking of Tim Heidecker in On Cinema and his hit song “Empty Bottle”

Or Casey (or his brother)