i have my first job interview in about three years this morning

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also i have not actually worked in a building, outside my bedroom, with other people around, dressed, in over two years.

please say reassuring things so i do not drive the car into a tree on the way there.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 26 February 2004 12:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Just remember they're more scared of you than you are of them.....though that might well be bears..

― winterland, Thursday, 26 February 2004 12:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, I'd certainly hire "Mr Hulkington". Probably "Mr Harvell" too, if you brought the teddy bear. Gd luck eh? I have interview soon too.

― Sarah (starry), Thursday, 26 February 2004 12:13 (twenty-two years ago)

remember to run in zig zags instead of a straight line, they can't turn so quickly as you can.

― chris (chris), Thursday, 26 February 2004 12:14 (twenty-two years ago)

You'd better not be UK based though, as it's 12:18 and you'll have missed it.

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 26 February 2004 12:15 (twenty-two years ago)

They can smell fear, y'know...

― winterland, Thursday, 26 February 2004 12:16 (twenty-two years ago)

and they can climb trees, hiding up one is not an option.

― chris (chris), Thursday, 26 February 2004 12:17 (twenty-two years ago)

If a black bear DOES come uncomfortably close, or if it starts approaching you, back away SLOWLY, always watching the bear. Speak in a LOUD, DEEP voice (It doesn't matter what you say. I use "GO AWAY BEAR" as it also serves to inform others around me of my situation). FIGHT BACK! Get angry with a black bear. Throw your arms up in the air, yell and scream in a deep voice, throw something at it. Throw a pot at it, or a big rock. You want to show the bear that you are in control. The black bear will get scared and run away.

Black bears are agile climbers, so a tree may not offer an escape from them.

― winterland, Thursday, 26 February 2004 12:18 (twenty-two years ago)

"The black bear will get scared and run away."

The Kodiak bear though will turn you into Hulkington brand Jerky.

― chris (chris), Thursday, 26 February 2004 12:22 (twenty-two years ago)

You forgot to mention exactly which kind of bears are interviewing you Strongo...I've got my fingers crossed for Koalas

― winterland, Thursday, 26 February 2004 12:24 (twenty-two years ago)

they would be good, if it's polar bears look out for their black noses standing out in the snow, unless they're really sensing a kill, in which case they'll cover their nose with one hand and drag themselves along with the other (they're sneaky that way). You won't know they're there til you're getting ripped apart. yup, I'd hope for koalas too.

― chris (chris), Thursday, 26 February 2004 12:27 (twenty-two years ago)

What about chickenbears?

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Thursday, 26 February 2004 12:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Unless, of course it's.....
http://www.tabula-rasa.info/AusHorrorImages/KillerKoala.jpg

― winterland, Thursday, 26 February 2004 12:32 (twenty-two years ago)

it won't ever be the same as my interview:
My mother finds out I dropped out of university. "YOU WONT EVER WORK IN MY SHOP!"... "So what do you plan to DO NOW???"... "Work for you?"... "WE WILL SEE ABOUT THAT!" I've worked for them for over a decade. I am obv masochistic.

They *need* someone, just as much as you need a job.

― nathalie (nathalie), Thursday, 26 February 2004 12:44 (twenty-two years ago)

just picture them all naked and you'll be fine

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 26 February 2004 12:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Good luck Jess!

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 26 February 2004 12:53 (twenty-two years ago)

"What do you think the most challenging part of coming to work for Havok would be?"

"Getting up early every morning?"

Don't do that, and you're aces.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 26 February 2004 13:05 (twenty-two years ago)

what's the job for jess?

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 26 February 2004 14:13 (twenty-two years ago)

just a part-time clerical/office thing, to augment my uh career.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 26 February 2004 14:15 (twenty-two years ago)

in Bear wrasslin'

― chris (chris), Thursday, 26 February 2004 14:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Just treat them like the bitches they are. What would Luda do?

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Thursday, 26 February 2004 14:16 (twenty-two years ago)

you don't have anything to worry about. make eye contact and try and smile .

― kephm, Thursday, 26 February 2004 14:20 (twenty-two years ago)

what about my instinctual urge to stab those in authority over me with letter openers and fancy pens?

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 26 February 2004 14:26 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah, smile.

good luck.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Thursday, 26 February 2004 14:26 (twenty-two years ago)

In the three years you have been out of the workplace you will have noticed that the tradional suit and tie has given way to wear Austrian National Dress. Get past this potential faux pas and you are laughing.

― Pete (Pete), Thursday, 26 February 2004 14:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Show them who's boss, Jess. Oh yeah.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 26 February 2004 14:44 (twenty-two years ago)

possibly adaml is onto something. i can't tell you how many jobs i've gotten by standing up mid-interview and hollering "all the bitches with clean pussies, throw your hands up"

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 26 February 2004 14:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Jess, some recommended interview wear:

http://image.basspro-shops.com/images/images2/62000/62209.jpg

― chris (chris), Thursday, 26 February 2004 14:49 (twenty-two years ago)

WOW!!!!!

http://image.basspro-shops.com/images/images2/46000/46009.jpg

― chris (chris), Thursday, 26 February 2004 14:51 (twenty-two years ago)

or...

http://www.costumesgalore.net/Animals/bearmama94-60.jpg

― winterland, Thursday, 26 February 2004 14:52 (twenty-two years ago)

that's a wee bit scary

― chris (chris), Thursday, 26 February 2004 14:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Good luck, Hulkie! Knock 'em dead (but not too dead)!

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 26 February 2004 14:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Rah for Jess! I assume he's already at the interview by now.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 26 February 2004 16:54 (twenty-two years ago)

go Jess go

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Thursday, 26 February 2004 16:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Falsies! I got rejected from a part-time job waiting tables for not having boobs. Now I go to every interview with a couple of big silicone melons strapped to my chest.

― The Second Drummer Drowned (Atila the Honeybun), Thursday, 26 February 2004 17:58 (twenty-two years ago)

HOW DID IT GO JESS?

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 26 February 2004 17:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Hope it went okay Jess...

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 26 February 2004 18:05 (twenty-two years ago)

it went as well as could be expected. i found out my dress pants are a little tighter than i remember. i shall hear "within 7 days".

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 26 February 2004 18:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Now phone them in 4 days and beg like a child.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Thursday, 26 February 2004 18:48 (twenty-two years ago)

good luck, jess.

― hstencil, Thursday, 26 February 2004 23:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Jess you could follow up with an email saying how much you liked 'the team' and could really see yourself working with them? As corny as it is, it's pretty effective.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Thursday, 26 February 2004 23:20 (twenty-two years ago)

i thought this would be a jess thread! oh hangon..

― the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 26 February 2004 23:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Jess you could follow up with an email saying how much you liked 'the team' and could really see yourself working with them? As corny as it is, it's pretty effective.

Yes, or send a pretty card. A lot of people do that. And be nice.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Thursday, 26 February 2004 23:23 (twenty-two years ago)

a card will take too long. e-mail, short and sweet.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Thursday, 26 February 2004 23:23 (twenty-two years ago)

any kind of thank you note, either card or email, is a good idea.

― hstencil, Thursday, 26 February 2004 23:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Fuck that last bear pic has like, drawn on goth eyebrows. I have the fear!

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 26 February 2004 23:29 (twenty-two years ago)

spencer, fr'real?

― cozen (Cozen), Thursday, 26 February 2004 23:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes! We were interviewing a couple weeks ago and it suggests good things about the person if they have the presence of mind to at least go through the motions of that kind of thing. For most jobs they've already determined that your skill set is acceptable, the interview is largely about whether you can get along with your potential boss and coworkers. Sending the note is at least letting them know that you liked them.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Thursday, 26 February 2004 23:34 (twenty-two years ago)

cool. I'll totally remember that. I have a job interview at the end of april and need all the help I can get.

― cozen (Cozen), Thursday, 26 February 2004 23:54 (twenty-two years ago)

well, the 'e-mail or snail mail' answer depends on what industry you're going into, i think. if it's tech-heavy, or 'new economy'-esque (although is anything like that anymore?) e-mail is, by all means, fine. but if the industry is one that is sort of old-fashioned (even if it is staffed by people who are glued to their computers all day), a handwritten note works best.

― maura (maura), Friday, 27 February 2004 01:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Skipping 17 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

congrats stencil.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Friday, 9 April 2004 09:24 (twenty-two years ago)

i forgot to mention it's at a record store. dare i "live the dream"?

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 9 April 2004 14:55 (twenty-two years ago)

hohoho. Well, good luck, anyway.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Friday, 9 April 2004 14:55 (twenty-two years ago)

surely this sort of power trip would push my ego into some sort of precarious state of ecstacy known only to psychotics and fascist dictators

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 9 April 2004 14:57 (twenty-two years ago)

PULL THE STRINGS PULL THE STRINGS

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 9 April 2004 15:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Surely they will hire you on the spot.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Friday, 9 April 2004 15:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Just tell them that you hate them.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Friday, 9 April 2004 15:01 (twenty-two years ago)

"fuck you, dad...just...FUCK YOU"

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 9 April 2004 15:04 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.peterbagge.com/images/buddy2.jpg

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Friday, 9 April 2004 15:11 (twenty-two years ago)

grrrr

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 9 April 2004 15:11 (twenty-two years ago)

holy shit, though, good luck strongo, you may indeed luck into the holy grail

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 9 April 2004 15:12 (twenty-two years ago)

or the holy blooooooood!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 9 April 2004 15:13 (twenty-two years ago)

i got it.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 9 April 2004 19:33 (twenty-two years ago)

congratulations!!!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 9 April 2004 19:37 (twenty-two years ago)

haha dude was all apologetic because the salary is so crap...and it is. but hey, free records.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 9 April 2004 19:38 (twenty-two years ago)

RAWK (literally)

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 9 April 2004 19:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Excellent!

― Tep (ktepi), Friday, 9 April 2004 19:40 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm still gonna need to be writing my ass off to make ends me.

DEER EDITORZ PLEEZ WILL U PIMP MY RIDE K THNX BYE

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 9 April 2004 19:42 (twenty-two years ago)

congratulations!

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Friday, 9 April 2004 19:43 (twenty-two years ago)

congratufrickinlations
don't be a stranger now that you've made it

― oops (Oops), Friday, 9 April 2004 19:43 (twenty-two years ago)

What store do you work at, and when is the Dizzee Rascal in-store?

― donut bitch (donut), Friday, 9 April 2004 19:45 (twenty-two years ago)

(congrats, jess :) )

― donut bitch (donut), Friday, 9 April 2004 19:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Nice one, Strongo!

Maybe after a couple months they'll promote you to "grime buyer".

― Broheems (diamond), Friday, 9 April 2004 19:46 (twenty-two years ago)

i feel like i should have made up something better. president of arista or something. strongo hulkington, ceo.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 9 April 2004 19:48 (twenty-two years ago)

how do you feel about Confessions being the fastest selling album in company history?

― Broheems (diamond), Friday, 9 April 2004 20:12 (twenty-two years ago)

my first act as ceo is to axe the current roster and woo hot young starlets william hung and hillary duff

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 9 April 2004 20:13 (twenty-two years ago)

not for record contracts, just for sex

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 9 April 2004 20:13 (twenty-two years ago)

natch. (The 'S' is invisible.)

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 9 April 2004 20:14 (twenty-two years ago)

i bet williams hung's snatch tastes better than most girls asses

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 9 April 2004 20:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Okay, you have completely out-Danned me.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 9 April 2004 20:17 (twenty-two years ago)

for my victory lap, please play van halen's "jump"

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 9 April 2004 20:18 (twenty-two years ago)

so what sort of recs do they sell?

I'll play high rise since I don't have any van halen.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Friday, 9 April 2004 22:11 (twenty-two years ago)

congrats 'gro!

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Friday, 9 April 2004 22:22 (twenty-two years ago)

rock!

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Friday, 9 April 2004 22:43 (twenty-two years ago)

(I say rock not only because it rocks, which it does, but because I am on the after-three-year interview circuit myself and need all the karmic positive energy I can get)

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Friday, 9 April 2004 22:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Jess gets a job (rah!) and celebrates with pervertalism (double rah!).

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 9 April 2004 23:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I kind of wish you were in the nyc so I could repeatedly ask your employee opinion on the newest saddle creek record.

― bnw (bnw), Saturday, 10 April 2004 00:42 (twenty-two years ago)

dude, get out of my store

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 10 April 2004 00:45 (twenty-two years ago)

all we ask is that you don't wear a size small Yanni t-shirt and blast Katrina And The Waves in the store in a heroic grasp of victory.

― donut bitch (donut), Saturday, 10 April 2004 02:44 (twenty-two years ago)

fuck this is funny.

and thats a good thing!

onya jess. try not to sneer at the customers.

― mullygrubber (gaz), Saturday, 10 April 2004 04:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Good man Jess, you're one of the eternai divide gods to me

― Ronan (Ronan), Saturday, 10 April 2004 05:10 (twenty-two years ago)

but, ah, "free records"? there's a burner behind the counter? its a charity shop?

― mullygrubber (gaz), Saturday, 10 April 2004 05:14 (twenty-two years ago)

i believe they mean promos and suchlike, gaz

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 10 April 2004 13:05 (twenty-two years ago)

I missed all this record store love! And the BNW/Jess exchange just above is worthy. Rah!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 10 April 2004 13:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Congratulations, strongo. Hopefully you won't get customers asking you to play some Outkast.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Saturday, 10 April 2004 14:10 (twenty-two years ago)

http://pages.prodigy.net/mshimkus/androids/cbg1.jpg

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 10 April 2004 14:13 (twenty-two years ago)

That's actually Jess and guest store worker David R. facing down a typical customer.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 10 April 2004 14:17 (twenty-two years ago)

That typical customer is Jim Derogatis asking for some Hip Hop, because he wants to stay in touch with the young'uns.

― jesus nathalie (nathalie), Saturday, 10 April 2004 14:18 (twenty-two years ago)

One can sense that the logistical beatdown is imminent.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 10 April 2004 14:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Can I hit in the MORNING
without givin you half of my dough
And even worse if I was broke would you WANT ME?
If I couldn't get you finer things
like all of them diamond rings bitches KILL FOR
would you STILL ROLL?
If we couldn't see the sun risin off the shore of Thailand
would you RIDE THEN, if I wasn't DROPPIN?
If I wasn't ah, eight figure nigga by the name of Jigga
would you come around me or would you clown me?
If I couldn't flow futuristic would ya
put your two lips on my wood and kiss it - could ya
see yourself with a nigga workin harder than 9 to 5
contend with six, two jobs to survive, or
do you need a BALLA? So you can shop and tear the MALL UP?
Brag, tell your friends what I BOUGHT YA
If you couldn't see yourself with a nigga when his dough is low
Baby girl, if this is so, yo..

Can I get a FUCK YOU
to these bitches from all of my niggaz
who don't love hoes, they get no dough

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 10 April 2004 14:22 (twenty-two years ago)

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