Tell me about your first communion

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Why should Jews have all the fun?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 26 February 2004 19:24 (twenty-two years ago)

It went on far too long. And despite the, what, two years of Sunday School classes we'd attended in order to build up to all this crap, they hadn't actually bothered to tell us how you're meant to take the communion, so I just took it from the priest's hand.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 26 February 2004 19:25 (twenty-two years ago)

It was raining, it went on far too long, the church smelled like damp children and wet dog (?), the food at the 'afterparty' was wretched, and Sister Claire told me it didn't matter anyway, I was going to hell.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 26 February 2004 19:28 (twenty-two years ago)

My father pulled me out of Sunday school because he thought it was dumbed down too much, so I never had confirmation (which is what they called it in this church). I've taken communion plenty of times, but God knows when the first was; I was probably eight or nine and thought "this bread could use some cinnamon-sugar."

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 26 February 2004 19:31 (twenty-two years ago)

i took two!!

― $$, Thursday, 26 February 2004 19:31 (twenty-two years ago)

also they didnt let me for a long time bcz i wsnt a real catholic yet

― $$, Thursday, 26 February 2004 19:32 (twenty-two years ago)

I had my confirmation, too - and had forgotten the little priest cheek slap thing - I was kinda pissed. "But mom, he HIT ME."

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 26 February 2004 19:32 (twenty-two years ago)

I was strapped to a cross and carried up to the altar, where a priest attempted to shove a stale cracker down my throat. After unsuccessfully snapping at his gnarled fingers with my teeth, I choked down the round projectile against my will. I was then tossed into a furnace because I was accused of "self-defilement". I escaped by kicking open the door and running into the rainy night. You who are not Christian do not understand the truth!

― Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 26 February 2004 19:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Our church was pathetic so it was just me and my brother that had it when we did. The host was yucky (in the Ukrainian Catholic church you don't have the wafers, rather they use actual little chunks of bread soaked in wine). I got a little certificate which I've misplaced. My first confession was a joke as I didn't really know what to say.

― Kenny Blankenship (Bryan), Thursday, 26 February 2004 19:34 (twenty-two years ago)

I never did the confession before my confirmation... I felt guilty about it for YEARS.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 26 February 2004 19:35 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd be more worried about the hellfire that awaits

― Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 26 February 2004 19:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Eh, I live in LA - how much worse could it be?

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 26 February 2004 19:37 (twenty-two years ago)

cheek slap thing?

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 26 February 2004 19:37 (twenty-two years ago)

I wore a pink dress that I picked out for myself. No one told me (including my mother) that white was de rigeur. Though I did get an inking when I explained my dress to my friends in the cafeteria befrore hand and they said, pink? I felt out of place in a sea of white princesses. My friend Angie looked especially beautiiful. We went to the front of the church in a group. The after-party was fun: we spent what seems like hours running around a loop in my friend Beth's house--from kitchen to dining room to living room (where all the grown-ups were) and back again.

― Mary (Mary), Thursday, 26 February 2004 19:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Me too! we're in hell! at least it's raining.

― Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 26 February 2004 19:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Nearly needed an ark last night. Stopped for now, but it just looks grimy outside.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 26 February 2004 19:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I was walking down Melrose last night whilst it rained, smoking a cigarette, as I do most nights. I had to wear a cowboy hat to keep it from extinguishing, but it didn't work. wtf?

― Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 26 February 2004 19:44 (twenty-two years ago)

I had two first communions. An Anglican one, at church, which was really nice, and I got to wear a pretty dress and drink real wine. And then a Catholic one at school, because everyone in my class was doing it, as part of religion classes, and my mum didn't want me to feel left out. I had to get a special dispensation from the Bishop and everything. That one wasn't as nice, it was just in the school chapel and there were nuns and classmates instead of friends and family, and it was grape juice instead of wine.

(Come to think of it, I think that's why I like sherry so much! Because it tastes like Anglican communion wine!)

― The River Kate (kate), Thursday, 26 February 2004 19:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Westminster abbey looking for belonging, much regretted now.

― Ed (dali), Thursday, 26 February 2004 19:47 (twenty-two years ago)

CLIP-ON-TIE

― kephm, Thursday, 26 February 2004 19:51 (twenty-two years ago)

It started my lifelong fear of a suit as well. Mainly because as soon as anyone sees me in a suit, their first reaction is "Could the defendant please stand"

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 26 February 2004 19:52 (twenty-two years ago)

with a bunch of men who wanted to cnvert for their wives, and an italin(sp) insurance salesman who looked like a minor capo as my sponsor.

i wore a black suit, white shirt, black tie.

― anthony, Thursday, 26 February 2004 19:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Why should Jews have all the fun?

BECAUSE

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Thursday, 26 February 2004 19:55 (twenty-two years ago)

I barely remember it.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 26 February 2004 19:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Same here. Entertaining enough.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 26 February 2004 19:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I have never taken communion! Once I was at a christening where my mother was one of the godmothers, and I was horrified that I would have to take communion, because those wafers looked nasteeeee.

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Thursday, 26 February 2004 19:59 (twenty-two years ago)

They are - and they stick to the roof of your mouth and you're not supposed to chew them, cause hey, it's okay if the body of christ dissolves in your mouth (about as well as a mouthful of paste dissolves, btw), but no way are you allowed to scrape him off and chew him up.

Pfft.

God.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 26 February 2004 20:04 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd always chew that dead mofo up.

― Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 26 February 2004 20:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I did, too.

All I have left to do is break in and have sex on or near the altar and Sister Claire's predictions will all be true!

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 26 February 2004 20:08 (twenty-two years ago)

I always wanted to bring some Cheez Whiz to church and when Jesus the Cracker was handed to me, I wanted to produce the can and put a little processed cheddar on him, in front of the priest.

― Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 26 February 2004 20:11 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't remember anything about mine except my shoes (reddish-brown polished pimped-out platform shoes with exquisite detailing) and the fly-ass certificate.

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Thursday, 26 February 2004 20:13 (twenty-two years ago)

I always wanted to bring some Cheez Whiz to church and when Jesus the Cracker was handed to me, I wanted to produce the can and put a little processed cheddar on him, in front of the priest.

Sunday, St. Brendan's on Rossmore (around there anyway, I forget the actual street) - you're ON.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 26 February 2004 20:14 (twenty-two years ago)

South Van Ness... close enough.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 26 February 2004 20:17 (twenty-two years ago)

http://users.aol.com/rawpuscle/whiz/Cheez.JPG
http://www.almy.com/images/5loafsmall.jpg

― Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 26 February 2004 20:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Is that a yes or a no?

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 26 February 2004 20:27 (twenty-two years ago)

yes although this Sunday these fuckers here might have me come in and work because they need to get this M*****a E*******e project in the can.

― Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 26 February 2004 20:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Dumped for M*****a E*******e.

This isn't the first time.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 26 February 2004 20:37 (twenty-two years ago)

What a way to celebrate Leap Year, though.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 26 February 2004 20:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Is it against the rules to "flavor up" Jesus?

― Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 26 February 2004 20:41 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't remember it, but I went to a hippie left-wing Catholic school, and we had a 'practice' party where we sat on the floor eating unconsecrated hosts and drinking grape juice. I think they played hippie Jesuit folk records during the whole thing, too.

I remember my older brother reporting back to me after he'd gotten his: 'Yuk, it tastes like cardboard!'

The host reminds me of those Maurice Lenell dietetic wafers, if anyone has ever had those.

― Kerry (dymaxia), Thursday, 26 February 2004 20:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Is it against the rules to "flavor up" Jesus?

I never saw it written anywhere...

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 26 February 2004 20:46 (twenty-two years ago)

I once went to another hippie Catholic church (in Georgia!) where they handed out this sweetened brown bread, and it wasn't unleavened, either.

― Kerry (dymaxia), Thursday, 26 February 2004 20:51 (twenty-two years ago)

not that I care, if anything I'd prefer if it was against the rule.

― Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 26 February 2004 20:53 (twenty-two years ago)

"Body of Christ" *whip out the tabasco* "BAM"

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 26 February 2004 21:00 (twenty-two years ago)

The Passion of the Emeril

"Let's nail it up a notch!"

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 26 February 2004 21:02 (twenty-two years ago)

better yet to have the priest place it on your tongue, but just stand there with your tongue still hanging out, and only THEN apply the cheez whiz/tabasco/etc. And then slowly take it back into your mouth making a mechanical door closing noise, followed by lots of slow chewing. Then you give a thumbs-up. say "tasty!", and run out.

― Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 26 February 2004 21:03 (twenty-two years ago)

'Where's the condiment bar again?'

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 26 February 2004 21:05 (twenty-two years ago)

I used to love that deliciously sweet communion wine...

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 26 February 2004 21:05 (twenty-two years ago)

I like to eat that shit and be all like "AW NAW JESUS I ATECHYOOR METAPHORICAL BODY! BITCH! YOU GOT SERVED!"

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 26 February 2004 21:06 (twenty-two years ago)

you should ask for a second wafer to make a mini cheese sandwich.

― Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 26 February 2004 21:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I remember that one of the kids I was with took the wafer and ate it in several bites like a Pringle.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Thursday, 26 February 2004 21:07 (twenty-two years ago)

This is almost enough to make me go back to church.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 26 February 2004 21:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I went to a Lutheran high school, and one of the teachers there told our class that at lots of churches, they put a little brandy in with the wine for some ridiculous reason that I think had to do with killing germs on the cup, or something. Then I was pissed off because at my parents' church, there wasn't a big cup but just a bunch of little plastic shot glasses, so there was probably no germ-possibly-killing extra alcohol in the wine. I still always took my time choosing the glass that looked the fullest, though.
The first time I took communion, the kid next to me burped.

― kirsten (kirsten), Thursday, 26 February 2004 21:11 (twenty-two years ago)

maybe you should grind up the wafer and snort it

― Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 26 February 2004 21:18 (twenty-two years ago)

"ohh jezus fux me up so good"

― Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 26 February 2004 21:19 (twenty-two years ago)

'this is your brain on christ'

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 26 February 2004 21:19 (twenty-two years ago)

"Excuse me, father? Can I take the body of Christ, you know, UP THE ASS?"

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 26 February 2004 21:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Chasing the dragon? No way, sucker, I'm doing jesus, straight up.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 26 February 2004 21:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Okay, that was just dumb.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 26 February 2004 21:21 (twenty-two years ago)

you should play "hide the jesus" and when the wafer is handed to you, make it disappear in your hand and be all like "whoa, where'd it go?" and then magically pull it out from behind the priest's ear

― Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 26 February 2004 21:23 (twenty-two years ago)

cheek slap thing?

-- teeny (teen...), February 26th, 2004.

Luna, please clarify this. A priest slapped your cheek? Erm, which one(s) and WHY?

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 26 February 2004 21:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, not so much a slap as a kind of stinging pat on the face... as I recall, it was of the 'okay, you're a big girl in the eyes of the church now, *whap* welcome' kind of thing.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 26 February 2004 21:30 (twenty-two years ago)

That doesn't sound right at all! That's like that dude measuring Joey's pants by cupping!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 26 February 2004 21:31 (twenty-two years ago)

"Preparation for confirmation meant memorizing catechism questions, selecting a sponsor and a name, worrying about being questioned by the bishop, and anticipating the ceremonial slap, a sign that we would now be "soldiers of Christ.""

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 26 February 2004 21:32 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm a soldier of Christ - BRING IT ON, FUCKFACES!

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 26 February 2004 21:33 (twenty-two years ago)

also 'The person when anointed and confirmed next receives a gentle slap on the cheek from the hand of the Bishop to make him recollect that, as a valiant combatant, he should be prepared to endure with unconquered spirit all adversities for the name of Christ.'

Whatever.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 26 February 2004 21:34 (twenty-two years ago)

that sounds like some kind of awful Tolkien fan club initiation.

― Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 26 February 2004 21:35 (twenty-two years ago)

I went through first communion even if I didn't believed in that fantasy and funny nonsensical ideas. I was around 8, that is "passed the age of reason" so I could have took a stand for myself, right :-) but I gaved in to the emotional manipulation of my parents and the peer pressure to be "normal, like everybody else". I felt a bit like a cheat but also disgusted at all this hypocrisy, vague contempt but I smiled for the pictures! same story for other paedo-sacrements."What drudgeries!"
They would had another thing coming if they had tried to submit me to these believes when I was a teen.

― Sébastien Chikara (Sébastien Chikara), Thursday, 26 February 2004 21:50 (twenty-two years ago)

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