banishing tardiness

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dave q on this lateness thread:
I think we've hit the 'nub' of something here - lateness is not a lifestyle choice, or a hobby. It is an AFFLICTION some people have. But it doesn't mean you have to be sorry for the person, or even tolerate them. Just treat them like you would a horse with a broken leg, or somebody who's been on life support for twenty years, and there's really better stuff to spend your money on than other people's medical bills.
Okay, well, I have finally determined I must stop being late, it is really awful. Hate to admit it but it's taken having a friend who is always late to drive it home to me how obnoxious it is. Also I am very anxious already and being late sends this to overdrive so that's another reason to cut it out. I've been better than usual for a while but I'm looking for advice, if there is any besides (a) being more organised generally (b) trying to be less tired and (c) always thinking about the disrespect it shows to others if I'm late. Plus lots of transport stuff ie go way earlier than you might first think on public transport and walking/cycling/etc.
??
Failing advice, it would be good to hear success stories or other chronic tardies wanting to BE consistently ON TIME.

― cuspidorian (cuspidorian), Sunday, 29 February 2004 12:59 (twenty-two years ago)

My showing up at all is in itself a massive compliment, also hey if you can't amuse yrself in the perfectly entertaining place I carefully arranged for you TOUGH SHIT.

― Silly Sailor (Andrew Thames), Sunday, 29 February 2004 13:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Well sort of, at least I'd hate to arrange to meet anyone somewhere where there's nothing to do

― Will You Heed the Master's Call (Andrew Thames), Sunday, 29 February 2004 13:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Actually I am a mostly 30 mins late type, but all I need to do to turn up on TIME is like make a little bit of an effort. The thing is THEY'RE usually late(r) anyway, so y'know what's the BLOODY POINT?

― Silly Sailor (Andrew Thames), Sunday, 29 February 2004 13:50 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah i'm always 30 minutes late and everyone knows, so if i turn up on time they make annoying 'shocked' faces which is all the encouragement i need to go back to being late. really tho, i know why i'm late, i know what to do to not be late, you just gotta do it.

― jeremy jordan (cruisy), Sunday, 29 February 2004 14:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Being late is as good as inexcusable. If there's bad traffic, or something that really can't be avoided, then fair enough. But being late because you couldn't get arsed to get up and get ready earlier is just wrong. Keeping people waiting is the epitomy of rudeness, and the people who do this are usually the ones who moan like buggery if anyone else dares to be late for THEIR meeting.

So, in answer to your question, shift your lazy ass ten minutes earlier, and you won't have a problem.

― Johnney B (Johnney B), Sunday, 29 February 2004 14:23 (twenty-two years ago)

You laties are blessed with some very patient friends.

― Paul Eater (eater), Sunday, 29 February 2004 16:35 (twenty-two years ago)

It's often not 'not being arsed' though, more just a dithery 'oh hang on, I have to do this and then I have to do that and oh hang on I've been staring into space for ten minutes' struggle to leave the house

― ferg (Ferg), Sunday, 29 February 2004 18:04 (twenty-two years ago)

I try not to be late but I often am esp at work things. I think it is the dithery thing. And also not being able to walk away from those people who suddenly need to talk to you when you are walking out the door. Or say no to people who ask if you could do something on the way...

― isadora (isadora), Sunday, 29 February 2004 18:39 (twenty-two years ago)

stop giving me half-a-zillion things to do -- all of which are URGENT AND KEY!, of course -- stop buttonholing me to blather on about some dumb shit in yer dumb life, let me get a decent night's sleep, and THEN i may be on time.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Sunday, 29 February 2004 18:49 (twenty-two years ago)

I am rarely late for social engagements, but I cannot seem to stop myself being at least 5 minutes late for work, despite only living 18 minutes walk away. It bothers me that I can't do it.

― N. (nickdastoor), Sunday, 29 February 2004 18:55 (twenty-two years ago)

(to Eisbar) that was what I meant to say. Are you parodying me? or how refresing to hear someone is as bad a mood as I am.

― isadora (isadora), Sunday, 29 February 2004 18:57 (twenty-two years ago)

yer never late to make a sarcastic post tho'

:-)

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Sunday, 29 February 2004 18:57 (twenty-two years ago)

I live across the road from my place of work, and while I've only been noticably late a few times in four years, I've been about three or four minutes late to every single shift ever, ever, ever. If I lived half an hour away I'd probably never be late.

Being late to work's not wrong though.

― ferg (Ferg), Sunday, 29 February 2004 19:00 (twenty-two years ago)

No, but when people start making snidey references to it, it's a pain.

― N. (nickdastoor), Sunday, 29 February 2004 19:02 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm pretty good w/r/t this. If someone's counting on me to meet them at an EXACT TIME to catch the start of a movie or whatever I'll never leave them hanging, but if we're just going out drinking and you say "meet me sevenish" I know you won't kill me if I swing by at 7:10.

― jody (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 29 February 2004 19:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh yeah, I'm not some lunatic who turns up at the time it says on invitations or anything, but I try not to leave people on their own in pubs.

― N. (nickdastoor), Sunday, 29 February 2004 19:12 (twenty-two years ago)

I mean, I do leave people alone in pubs if it's appropriate to do so. I'm not some kind of sex pest.

― N. (nickdastoor), Sunday, 29 February 2004 19:13 (twenty-two years ago)

For parties and some social activities where more the one groups of people are meeting together It's always good to be a little late so that others are there at around the same time (or a little before). So, often someone setting up this event will say it starts early then they really want it to start. But applying this practice to other set times messing things up.

― A Nairn (moretap), Sunday, 29 February 2004 19:20 (twenty-two years ago)

I have to be early to everything (or right on time for social activities), or else I just won't bother showing up. It's terrible time management (wasting an extra hour before class/work,etc.), but preferable to the alternative.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Sunday, 29 February 2004 19:32 (twenty-two years ago)

I have to be early or exactly on time for everything too, which means I spend a lot of time waiting around in general. I'm OK with this: I bring a book everywhere I go & if other people are late it doesn't bother me unless I'm waiting in an awkward place.

― j c (j c), Sunday, 29 February 2004 19:45 (twenty-two years ago)

I have to be early to everything (or right on time for social activities), or else I just won't bother showing up

Can you explain this mentality a bit more, milo?

― N. (nickdastoor), Sunday, 29 February 2004 19:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Honestly? Not so much, it's just mentalism. If I'm even running close for class, I won't bother. It's either 30+ minutes early or no show. Work isn't a big deal anymore (I set my own hours somewhat), but when I had a set time, i'd always be there early. Social activities, I just don't want to be the asshole holding everyone up (so instead, I'm the schmuck standing around waiting for people).

It's might be a reaction to my brother - he's the kind of person who always shows up 30 mins. late (or more), and it's pissed me off since I was little, so I trained myself to do the opposite.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Sunday, 29 February 2004 19:55 (twenty-two years ago)

I have a FEAR of being late: hence always being early. I don't know what this is from - my mother didn't bring me to school late every day as a child or anything. I connect lateness with acute embarrassment for some reason, though really often I'm more embarrassed by finding myself waiting outside a class 30 minutes before it's about to begin. So it goes?

― j c (j c), Sunday, 29 February 2004 20:03 (twenty-two years ago)

sorry (late again!) I was not being sarcastic. I never am.

Maybe requiring of yourself that you are on time or not showing up is pride. Slinking in late, if you are usually punctual, is very shaming. I used to be like that and I wish I still was.

― isadora (isadora), Sunday, 29 February 2004 20:22 (twenty-two years ago)

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