Urinals: Classic or Dud, Search/Destroy

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

I hate urinals. I always urinate in proper toilets if at all possible. Does anyone else share this odd phobia?

― DV, Friday, 19 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

according to one of those newspapers a while ago, some borough in London was going to bring in special urinals for women. No, I don't know how they'd work either.

― DV, Friday, 19 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Search: outside open-air portable urinals...as seen at Status Quo/ Beach Boys in Hyde Park.

― james, Friday, 19 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

When the needs calls, surely there is no time to quibble over toilet shape?

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 19 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I also hate one and will always use proper toilets.

Has anyone ever been in a club where the toilet door lock isn't broken? I don't think I have.

― Graham, Friday, 19 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The thing about urinals is...THE FEAR...when it's crowded, just sometimes, things stop working, and you end up standing there like an idiot...So, the main benefit of toilets is the seculison...except club/pub toilets are usually full of cigarette ends, sick and plastic beer glasses. I think I like staying at home.

― james, Friday, 19 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yes why cant they repair their doors, and maybe clean their toilets.

How many times can you tolerate some fucker pushing in the door when you're staring at your reflection in the water waiting for the vomit to come.

I've put my elbows in places I never would sober.

― Ronan, Friday, 19 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

it has been done

― anthony, Friday, 19 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ack ack ack ack!

― David Raposa, Friday, 19 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Drawback with proper toilet: noise.

Search: none, really.

Destroy: urinals that extend to floor (as seen on urinal.net) so that mess and overflow are not properly contained.

Destroy: the Trough.

― Nitsuh, Friday, 19 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

A floor-length trough would be perfect. No aiming necessary.

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 19 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The bar I used to dj in had a trough with a mirror in front of it; not only did you have to hang your dick out in front of everyone, but the mirror allowed everyone yet another view.

― Sean, Friday, 19 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The floor trough at Springdale Race Course in Camden, SC *was* perfect until it was torn down and replaced with a couple octagonal portable urinal disasters that were completely overflowing before the 5th race.

― Cryosmurf, Friday, 19 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i thought anthony was going to start in on duchamp with his link. i'm a bit glad he didn't.

― Maria, Friday, 19 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

why maria ?

― anthony, Friday, 19 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Search: I'm A Bug, Surfin With the Shah

― Kris, Friday, 19 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

obviously because i have false expectations of you, anthony.
because you're the art history guy and i was talking about duchamp yesterday. that's why.

― Maria, Friday, 19 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

thanks maria

― anthony, Friday, 19 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I was wondering when the band would be mentioned, thanks Kris. ;-) Saw them a couple of years ago open for Mike Watt -- they rocked.

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 19 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Daver Popshots was first, though.

― Kris, Friday, 19 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Hell yeah I was first. 100 Flowers up in my hizzouse & sheeit with the motherfuckin' Trotsky Icepick. Thank you, Kris.

A hologram a hologram a hologram a HOLOGRAM!

― David Raposa, Friday, 19 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

search the following comps: Hell Comes To Your House (100 Flowers' "Reject Yourself" + Red Cross, plus early Social D and 45 Grave), Life Is Ugly So Why Not Kill Yourself (Urinals, 100 Flowers, Saccharine, Minutemen, Descendents, Red Cross), and Keats Rides A Harley (100 Flowers, Gun Club, Human Hands, Meat Puppets). Then tell me a scene that had better music than LA in 79-81.

― Dan, Friday, 19 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

DJ you pussy., piss liek a man!

― Mike Hanle y, Friday, 19 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The single greatest email from my Xgf me and her family got, on Japanese plumbing.

Destroy: The trough & those things that spirnkle up water on you ass cause I always seem to mistake them for toliets when Im drunk.

― Mr Noodles, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

In Propaganda on Wardour Street, they have a thing called viewrinals or some such where they actually have like little TVs on the tops of all the urinals. I'm fairly certain that they thought of the name first and then had to think of a product to match.

So, search Propaganda.

Destroy: the worst I ever saw was at the Garage, where they have those metal trough things and it was blocked up and the whole thing was filled to near overflowing with a combination of urine and vomit. Classy.

― jamesmichaelward, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

four years pass...

at my uni theyve got this 'pan toilets' initiative where they want to ungender the toilets and just have them be unisex so trans and intersex and ppl who reject the gender system dont feel uncomfortable choosing a toilet, and also so that we can all just be pans instead of men or women or whatever. but it's unclear what would happen to urinals if this went ahead. men, would you still use urinals, while sober, if women could see? it seems most men are pretty uncomfortable with using them anyway, even if its only other men around. women, would it disturb you to see men piss in a urinal? should the urinals stay or go, or just be put in a more secluded place up the back?

― minna (minna), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 07:45 (twenty years ago)

if they were put up the back, wouldnt this ruin some of their charm and appeal ie. being speedier than going to the toilets up the back and like, closing the door and then having to open the door again

― minna (minna), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 07:46 (twenty years ago)

is that their only rationale anyway? being faster + saving extra plumbing & space and wall plywood

― minna (minna), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 07:46 (twenty years ago)

or is there some homosocial bonding reason for them?

― minna (minna), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 07:52 (twenty years ago)

Less gross things to touch with a urinal.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 08:09 (twenty years ago)

i know that a similar situation for women is the swimming pool changing room, where you can either blankly strip naked for all to see, or make an awkward song & dance out of strategic towel placement while you struggle to wriggle yr damp bra on, or if you really cant stand it, preserve your modesty in the toilet cubicle. however it is sort of frowned upon to think of it as a big deal and hide from everyone, or at least the teachers in high school yelled at ppl who clogged up the toilets, and it seems to remain uncool.

― minna (minna), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 08:11 (twenty years ago)

thermo, dont you have to flush the urinal too? so the only extra thing to touch in a cubicle is the door. is that really a problem considering you have to touch the general entrance/exit door on the way in and out anyway?
also do ppl who use the urinal feel more or less obliged to wash their hands than cubicle users?

― minna (minna), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 08:13 (twenty years ago)

You have to touch the fecal-mater laced door handle TWICE - opening and closing! Plus, a lot of the newfangled urinals automatically flush when you walk away.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 08:19 (twenty years ago)

haha that is not one of my favourite things about america, the automatic motion detect toilets at borders w itchy flush triggers! i will flush at my own pace thanks. i do like foot pedal flushes tho

― minna (minna), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 08:22 (twenty years ago)

"I'm a Bug" is a fun song.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 09:54 (twenty years ago)

In the Reichstag building they have urinals in cubicles.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 10:31 (twenty years ago)

women, would it disturb you to see men piss in a urinal?

Of course not. I have more problems with people not washing their hands afterwards though.

― Nathalie, the Queen of Frock 'n' Fall (stevie nixed), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 10:32 (twenty years ago)

I wouldn't want women to see me. Not comfortable with unisex loos generally. They will soon be removing the doors from cubicles at this rate.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 10:47 (twenty years ago)

A few of my friends insist on the cubicle. They wipe.

I'm fine with urinals, but I can't stand it when the proximity of the next ones is such that you have to hug your elbows to your sides like a penguin. Especially when you can feel the other dudes piss-mist. Joy. And have you ever been able to smell the dick of the dude next to you?? BLEEUCH. Happened to me last week. Watch out for that lothario. Think he had a moustache.

Anyone seen a turd in the urinal before? Who the fuck are these people??

― MESTEMA (davidcorp), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:30 (twenty years ago)

Stevem, honey, we know you pee. ;-)

― Nathalie, the Queen of Frock 'n' Fall (stevie nixed), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:42 (twenty years ago)

haha theres already a (spoof) "cubicle free toilets" sticker campaign steve

dave, are you saying your friends wipe their dicks after pissing?? thats a new one to me! i dont spose they get much on the paper?

― minna (minna), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:47 (twenty years ago)

nath i am with you on not really caring if i see a man piss, you see it out in the street all the time anyway. however what if it was robbie williams waggling his worm around?
on the other hand, i wonder what would happen to makeup application in a pan toilet? there are women who take hours up in the uni bathrooms painstakingly applying a full face of blush mascara & lip gloss. if boys cd see it in action all a womans mystery is gone. (its different when strange men see it than when its someone you know well.) in theory everyone knows everyone else pisses or you can see that someone puts a lot of care into their appearance. it is a different thing to see it in action tho. like how we all theoretically know that magazines drastically airbrush all celeb & model photos, but its still shocking to actually see the before & after touch up comparison!

― minna (minna), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:55 (twenty years ago)

Yeah. I've seen it in in person. I seem to remember doing it when I was very young, but a few shakes is all it takes. And with cheap tissue, I'm sure it would get all sticky and cruddy etc.

No spit and polish required.

― MESTEMA (davidcorp), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:58 (twenty years ago)

SPRINKLE THEE

― IEE, Wednesday, 9 November 2005 13:24 (twenty years ago)

ok so steve, you wdnt want any women perving at you while you piss, which is fair enough. can you break down exactly why its worse than men seeing you tho? is it possible for unisex toilets to be as no nonsense as seperate ones? or does the fact that ppls bodies have weird plumbing with sex/toilet all mixed up mean that toilet going will always be somewhat sexually charged?

― minna (minna), Thursday, 10 November 2005 01:41 (twenty years ago)

well, theoretically the other men dont see you. its an unwritten law that you dont even make any sorta of eye contact, conversation or anything with the guy next to you. just stare straight ahead or down.

girls wouldn't understand the laws of this secret male ritual

― splates (splates), Thursday, 10 November 2005 08:26 (twenty years ago)

you can talk to them if you already know them right!

― minna (minna), Thursday, 10 November 2005 08:42 (twenty years ago)

no, not even your best mate

talking resumes once you are washing your hands

― splates (splates), Thursday, 10 November 2005 08:42 (twenty years ago)

yeah i guess it wd be like talking on the phone while youre taking a shit, it just doesnt seem right

― minna (minna), Thursday, 10 November 2005 08:54 (twenty years ago)

however i have to say your story conflicts with the one my dad told me, which is that he talks to ppl he knows at the urinal! but maybe he just meant it was some kind of greeting or acknowledgement rather than a full blown conversation

― minna (minna), Thursday, 10 November 2005 08:55 (twenty years ago)

There's a man in my office who always braces himself against the wall with one hand while using the urinals. It's as if he thinks the mighty water cannon of urine will blast him backwards across the room if he's not properly prepared.

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:39 (twenty years ago)

I once punched a guy in the gut while I was using the urinal.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 11 November 2005 00:54 (twenty years ago)

Search: the urinal at the Madonna Inn. Mofo's a WATERFALL!!!
http://www.urinal.net/madonna/

― Fetchboy (Felcher), Friday, 11 November 2005 01:08 (twenty years ago)

The Chocolate Bar on Harcourt Street (here in Dublin) used to have a waterfall with a really wide trough. The cubicles were on either side and you'd only be able to get to them by walking over walkways placed over the trough. Sounds horrible but was actually kind of cool. Until they stopped the waterfall and it just became yet another dive with little going for it except cheap drinks.

― Kv_nol (Kv_nol), Friday, 11 November 2005 10:08 (twenty years ago)

And I hate it when some dink steps up next to you and pisses with no hands. It's like people who ride a bike with no hands. Anyone can do it, but sooner or later you're gonna crash and it's gonna be messy, especially if you ain't wearing a helmet.

― MESTEMA (davidcorp), Friday, 11 November 2005 10:46 (twenty years ago)

Seconding the Search on the Madonna Inn urinal. There's even a dedicated web page!

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Friday, 11 November 2005 18:14 (twenty years ago)

"This urinal can accommodate two people."

― nickn (nickn), Friday, 11 November 2005 19:20 (twenty years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.