This is the thread where you post the best chants you have heard at football matches

Message Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed
On Thursday, the Celtic support started a chant about the de Boer twins to the tune of "Nice One Cyril"...

"One's called Ronald, one's called Frank, one missed a penalty, the other one's a wank".

This, obviously, isn't the best chant I have heard, but the inventiveness of supporters never ceases to amaze me.

So what are the best chants you've heard at a football match?

ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 2 March 2004 19:06 (twenty-one years ago)

You can see some here:

Football Chants

N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 2 March 2004 19:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Cheers. I looked under the "sports" category and couldn't find anything. Boo for poorly categorised threads!

ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 2 March 2004 19:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, boo.

N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 2 March 2004 19:10 (twenty-one years ago)

"Green Bay sucks"

Broheems (diamond), Tuesday, 2 March 2004 19:11 (twenty-one years ago)

"You can stick the fuckin' telly up your arse" (accompanied by a "Brian Moore is a wanker, is a wanker") - at the first-ever live ITV League game in 1983 between Spurs and Forest at the Lane. Oh how times change...

darren (darren), Tuesday, 2 March 2004 20:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Wow - a near revolutionary outbreak there, and like all near revolutionary outbreaks within Britain, totally fucking futile.

Dave B (daveb), Tuesday, 2 March 2004 21:02 (twenty-one years ago)

At a Middlebury College v Colgate football game, the Middlebury bleachers collectively chanted "Saaaafety school! Saaafety school!" across to Colgate.

Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 2 March 2004 21:04 (twenty-one years ago)

"2,4,6,8, you suck"

A Nairn (moretap), Tuesday, 2 March 2004 21:04 (twenty-one years ago)

we've got di canio
youve got our car stereos

gareth (gareth), Tuesday, 2 March 2004 21:12 (twenty-one years ago)

the one about Shearer being a wanker.


[On a side note its almost as fun to just say B

Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 12:28 (twenty-one years ago)

where was I, oh, its almost as fun to just say BOBO in a deep booming voice. Chants just don't carry cross the Atlantic and 5 hours.

Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 12:29 (twenty-one years ago)

what are the chances of two chant threads being started within a few minutes of each other, spoooooooky...

CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 13:07 (twenty-one years ago)

The rest of ILE is subliminarily controlling my brane today, evidently. I linked to the sexual propositions thread earlier without noticing it had just been revived. Oh no! Mind-meld! Oh no!

Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 13:13 (twenty-one years ago)

You know that it would be untrue
You know that I would be a liar
If I were to say to you
City couldn't get much higher
MARCIO DOS SANTOS GAIA!

(Exeter City)

Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 13:54 (twenty-one years ago)

hmmm...

my rainier moor, lovely as a sunny day
my rainier moor, lovely when he scores away

(still a work in progress this one)

CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 13:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Mike wins.

Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 13:56 (twenty-one years ago)

The goalkeeper Andy Goram was diagnosed some time ago with a form of schizophrenia. Ever since (and certainly when he was here at coventry for a short while the other year) fans have sang without fail:
"Two Andy Gorams, there's only two Andy Gorams...."

Also Brighton away fans often have to endure the pithily amusing:
"does your boyfriend know you're here?"
usually just before YMCA gets played by the home clubs announcer.

Stil nothing really beats the beauty of any Midlands side enjoying a rousing chorus of "Shit On The Villa", when cov played birmingham a year or two back the whole crowd sang it for ages. Best part of the game in question in fact.

Jim, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 14:02 (twenty-one years ago)

It always makes me laugh when I think of Arsenal fans chanting (whenever their opponents are really playing crap) "Are You Tottenham In Diguise????"

mzui, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 14:05 (twenty-one years ago)

"You dirty Northern bastards!"

Exeter City fans to Brighton & Hove Albion.

Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 14:07 (twenty-one years ago)

i read somewhere that when u of michigan plays michigan state the losing u of M fans cheer:

it's alright, it's ok
you will work for us one day!

j c (j c), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 14:08 (twenty-one years ago)

I became a were wolf saying a werewolf chant.Is any body elese werewolves?

-- conner Smedley (conner66...), January 31st, 2003.

Leee the Whiney (Leee), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 22:14 (twenty-one years ago)

i don't know any football chants, but michigan has some entertaining hockey chants...

"Hey goalie, you're not a goalie, you're a sieve; you're not a sieve, you're a funnel; you're not a funnel, you're a vacuum; you're not a vacuum, you're a black hole; you're not a black hole, you just suck! You just suck.You just suck. You just suck"


and even more fun: (back story-- you can hear the press box phone ring at the arena) When a phone rings (at anytime during the game)
Loudly say, "Hey (opposing goalie's name) it's your mom. She says, 'YOU SUCK!'"

at the only (american) football game i went to, we got a load of people chanting 'peter handler, clap clap clap clap clap' and 'where is peter?' because we were looking for our friend...

colette (a2lette), Thursday, 4 March 2004 00:46 (twenty-one years ago)

the one about Shearer being a wanker

Which one? There's the highly unimaginative "alan shearer, you're a wanker, you're a wanker" or

"you are my larsson, my henrik larsson
you make me happy when skies are grey
we went for shearer
but he's a wanker
so please don't take my larsson away".

ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 4 March 2004 00:53 (twenty-one years ago)

The chant that Michael Jones mentions may be the only one that uses a tune I've ever actually heard of.

Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 4 March 2004 01:23 (twenty-one years ago)

If Traitor Hand doesn't know the tune to My Old Man's A Dustman than us Londoners clearly aren't trying hard enough.

(Because obviously you hear it on every street corner down the East End)

Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 4 March 2004 09:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Tracer Hand! Have you never heard "you are my sunshine"?

shame on you

chris (chris), Thursday, 4 March 2004 09:18 (twenty-one years ago)

"Alan, Alan Alan Ball,
Alan Ball, Alan Ball
Alan, Alan Alan Ball,
wank wank wank wank wank

OHHH

Wank wank wank wank wank wank wank
wank wank wank
wank wank wank
Alan, Alan Ball"

repeat ad nauseum ocassionally swapping a wank ot two with an Alan Ball

winterland, Thursday, 4 March 2004 09:25 (twenty-one years ago)

England fans to Scotland fans at Wembley:

"your'e just a third world country, third world coooouuntryy...."

chris (chris), Thursday, 4 March 2004 09:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Everyone in Scotland to Celtic fans

"sign on, sign on, with hope in your hearts, but you'll never get a job"

ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 4 March 2004 17:54 (twenty-one years ago)

cis: I see that now. I think the names of "famous" footballers made me glaze over.

Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 4 March 2004 17:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Shit on the Villa is a classic, yeah (...as an exercise in BITTERNESS etc).

Also hugely enjoyed sound of several thousand brummies shouting 'fook off di CAN-yooo, fook off di CAN-yoooo' to the tune of that opera thing on the advert he was in.

ferg (Ferg), Thursday, 4 March 2004 18:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Rigoletto, you ignorant dog.

Mikey G (Mikey G), Thursday, 4 March 2004 18:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Is this how all those fights get started?

Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 4 March 2004 18:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, but it's usually Puccini what makes it kick off, innit

Mikey G (Mikey G), Thursday, 4 March 2004 19:08 (twenty-one years ago)

I used to know a guy who'd try to get everyone around him to sing Sunderland terrace chants when drunk. Some favorites were...

Cheer up Peter Reid
oh what can it mean to a
Sunderland supporter
to be top of the league

(sung to the tune of 'Daydream Believer')

and...

Who let the Toon down?
Shit! Shit! Shearer!

Not to forget...

Lee Howey, Lee Howey.
Lee Howey, Lee Howey.
Your brother is a cunt.

mmmmsalt (Graeme), Thursday, 4 March 2004 19:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I should qualify that by saying this was five or six years ago, and I have no idea what Sunderland are up to or whether any of these even remotely apply anymore (didn't Peter Reid leave some time ago?).

mmmmsalt (Graeme), Thursday, 4 March 2004 19:30 (twenty-one years ago)

i thought the "cheer up..." one was sung by opposition fans, like

"cheer up Alex McLeish*
oh what can it mean
to a sad Orange bastard
with a shite football team"

* I realise this doesn't scan at all, but it worked with Advocaat and Walter Smith which had the requisite number of vowels, and no-one has been arsed thinking up a McLeish song yet.

Also a variant of one on another thread, sung in a pub I was watching a Scotland game in once..

"Posh Spice is a slapper
She wears Versace coats
And when she's shagging Beckham
She thinks of Berti Vogts"

ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 4 March 2004 19:45 (twenty-one years ago)

i thought the "cheer up..." one was sung by opposition fans, like

I think the SAFC version originated when it looked like Peter Reid was going to bring them to the top of division one. It went on with "We once thought of you as a scouser dressed in blue, but now your red and white through and through."


I just found this one, which is probably going to keep me amused for the rest of the day:

Niall Quinn's disco pants are the best,
They go up from his arse to his chest.
They are better than Adam and The Ants,
Nial Quinn's disco pants.

mmmmsalt (Graeme), Thursday, 4 March 2004 19:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Man. City fans to Rufus Brevett
'Theres only one Whoopi Goldberg'

Joe Kay (feethurt), Thursday, 4 March 2004 20:45 (twenty-one years ago)


You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.