Funniest words and expressions that are, presumably, only funny to you

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My personal favorite has always been
"Oh my God, he's got a gun!"

I also love
"...went stark raving mad and started busting up the place"

and
the word "fiasco"

I'm teary eyed as I type this...

― roger adultery, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 05:47 (twenty-one years ago)

the word "burgundy" (pronounced slightly differently to normal)

― the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 05:50 (twenty-one years ago)

pump

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 05:52 (twenty-one years ago)

hippie

― the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 05:53 (twenty-one years ago)

"bean" and "moist"

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 05:54 (twenty-one years ago)

"well it is" in a forrest gump type accent

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 05:54 (twenty-one years ago)

cornbread

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 05:55 (twenty-one years ago)

i am the monkey, i can go anywhere

― the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 05:55 (twenty-one years ago)

"Mariner honey!"

"I'll be right Ben"

"Hey ___, do you want me to fuck your wife?"

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 05:56 (twenty-one years ago)

fucking jeans

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 05:57 (twenty-one years ago)

"I'll be right Ben"

Beautiful. :-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 05:57 (twenty-one years ago)

jake plumber

― wrong_threadbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 05:58 (twenty-one years ago)

koala tacos

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 05:58 (twenty-one years ago)

PS for maximum funny, after saying "Do you want me to fuck your wife?" you have to start laughing like the Count and yelling "1! 2! 3! Ha ha ha!"

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:00 (twenty-one years ago)

bluh bluh bluh!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:01 (twenty-one years ago)

tits! arsehole! motherfucker! *belch* *fart noise* muff!

― the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Manon Lescaut

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:04 (twenty-one years ago)

bazarov

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:06 (twenty-one years ago)

OK Tad get out of my mind!!

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Madame Odintsov!

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:08 (twenty-one years ago)

gavareet po russki!

― tAtUbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Bazarov really is one of the funniest things anyone can say to me, it is up there with "Lord Byron" for consistent I-will-never-sicken-of-this funny.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Tracing Byron's Influence on the Creation and Development of the Nihilist Bazarov in Ivan Turgenev's Fathers and Sons

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Wow, that's tantamount to joke warfare!

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:13 (twenty-one years ago)

"Did someone say Bazarov?"

http://www.richmond.edu/~dhocutt/bazarov/images/turgenev.gif

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:13 (twenty-one years ago)

You don't understand, I'm liable to DIE LAUGHING and if you throw in THE ILLUMINATI then it will be settled, caskets for me by dawn.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:15 (twenty-one years ago)

kraftwerkout!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:17 (twenty-one years ago)

- Anche la natura è un'inezia? - chiese Arkadij guardando pensieroso i campi variopinti dolcemente e pittorescamente, illuminati dal sole già basso.
- Anche la natura è una sciocchezza nel senso in cui tu l'intendi ora. La natura non è un tempio, ma un'officina e l'uomo è un operaio. [...]
Passarono presso a poco due settimane. La vita a Màrijno seguitava il suo corso tranquillo: Arkadij faceva il sibarita. Bazarov lavorava.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:17 (twenty-one years ago)

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:18 (twenty-one years ago)

All part of the deathless PRESENTAZIONE DI BAZAROV

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:19 (twenty-one years ago)

tears, my god, tears down my face jesus christ...

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:20 (twenty-one years ago)

“I don't understand Turgenev. That Bazarov of his is a fictitious figure, it does not exist anywhere. The fellows themselves were the first to disown him as unlike anyone. That Bazarov is a sort of indistinct mixture of Nozdryov and Byron, c'est le mot. Look at them attentively: they caper about and squeal with joy like puppies in the sun. They are happy, they are victorious! What is there of Byron in them!"

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:22 (twenty-one years ago)

THIS IS THE THREAD WHERE NED TRIES TO KILL ME.

please, please just don't add Plaid to the mix.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:24 (twenty-one years ago)

i WAS looking for a "screaming lord byron" photo on the web, but all i could find is this ... maybe someone thinks it's funny?

http://www.teenagewildlife.com/Interact/contests/2000/halloween/halloziggy.jpg

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:26 (twenty-one years ago)

When you find yourself at the altar saying, "with this Stone of Jordan I thee wed," you have definitely played too much (beware also if your bride is named Charsi).
Bazarov

U noe u plaid 2 much DII when u stand naked in da middle of january, sayin u got resist cold aura on
[]DOINT_Z3R0

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:27 (twenty-one years ago)

WOW.

to both posts.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:28 (twenty-one years ago)

That Bazarov bastard gets around.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:28 (twenty-one years ago)

In 1795-96 Byron contracted scarlet fever and was sent to the Highlands (to the valley of the Dee river about forty miles north of Aberdeen) to convalesce. Byron, dressed in the Gordon tartan, spent many happy days roaming the countryside ("My cap was the bonnet, my cloak was the plaid;")

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:29 (twenty-one years ago)

"Choo Choo Rockets"

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:29 (twenty-one years ago)

(I'm trying to ignore these assassination attempts)

SANP!

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:32 (twenty-one years ago)

chugga chugga choo choo -- rockets and accessories by Estes

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:33 (twenty-one years ago)

http://micro.magnet.fsu.edu/creatures/images/weitekbright.jpg

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:39 (twenty-one years ago)

miles and miles of little brown piles.

― Dr. Annabel Lies (Michael Kelly), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:40 (twenty-one years ago)

In write-ups, bus crashes are always referred in one way. Bus PLUNGES into ravine, river, or whatever the local bottom land may be.

― jim wentworth (wench), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:52 (twenty-one years ago)

"so like, what's the Rob Lowe?" as rhyming slang for "what's the problemo?"

― too much for my mirror (too much for my mirror), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 07:25 (twenty-one years ago)

"the Chinese train story"

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 07:26 (twenty-one years ago)

"I'm really [x] but I'm really [y]."

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 09:43 (twenty-one years ago)

"Oh, Please!" .. (in a German accent)

when written:
"Jesus H. Christ (facsimile)"

― dave225 (Dave225), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 12:31 (twenty-one years ago)

"fire in the disco!" when used apropos of NOTHING

"motherfucker" (say it w/bad French accent)

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 15:04 (twenty-one years ago)

like from the first Twilight Singers album?

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 15:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 45 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

"Do-It-Yourself" has always sounded kind of rude to me, which makes it funny as far as I'm concerned.
Also, this:
"'well it is' in a forrest gump type accent"
has been making me giggle all morning, for some reason.

― kirsten (kirsten), Thursday, 4 March 2004 15:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Doug

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Thursday, 4 March 2004 20:59 (twenty-one years ago)

KYW

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 5 March 2004 04:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Hey! Giuliani

"Love (insert 3-letter acronym here)" in homage to "Love TKO"

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 20:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I knew it was Donna Brown as soon as I saw the Fall reference.

For me that one is "Hey! Puciani" ...Puciani being a hack musician who used to live by me.

― dave225 (Dave225), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 20:36 (twenty-one years ago)

it works for everyone-ah :)

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 20:38 (twenty-one years ago)

My b/f cracked up at the phrase "lip service" the other day in a TV ad for a mechanics. He'd never heard it before (??!!) and thought it was really dirty, which was kinda cute.

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 01:04 (twenty-one years ago)

maraud, as a verb and the noun form, esp. when used with one of my favorites upthread: a band of marauders ran amok.

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 01:35 (twenty-one years ago)

"stop talking about my dick!!"

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 07:39 (twenty-one years ago)

sandwich

― jeremy jordan (cruisy), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 08:24 (twenty-one years ago)

two years pass...

bum

― electric sound of jim (and why not) (electricsound), Friday, 28 April 2006 04:44 (nineteen years ago)

you daring lousy guy

― gbx (skowly), Friday, 28 April 2006 04:57 (nineteen years ago)

Hurting

― Abbadavid Berman (Hurting), Friday, 28 April 2006 05:03 (nineteen years ago)

rib-stickin' bean dish

― xero (xero), Friday, 28 April 2006 05:23 (nineteen years ago)

50 Cent in a chair

There is context. '50 Cent in a chair' is the caption to a photo in an image library I use in my current job. Not so shockingly it appears under a photo of rapper 50 Cent sitting in a chair. I just love the implication that this is some special or unusual action for him. It is my secret project to use it everytime I upload a 50 Cent story.

― Anna (Anna), Friday, 28 April 2006 06:11 (nineteen years ago)

OTT unidentified Northern English accent: I'll have a cold mouldy old bowl of shredded wheat.

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 28 April 2006 09:50 (nineteen years ago)

Monty Jong

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 28 April 2006 10:21 (nineteen years ago)

When ending a phone call, "Goodbye...forever!"

Phoebe did this on Friends one time and it stuck with me. Now I do it at entirely inappropriate times, such as on one of my first phone calls with a guy I was interested in.

― Whispy Fandango Triphop (unclejessjess), Friday, 28 April 2006 13:29 (nineteen years ago)

"bunch of flowers"
"amirite"

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 28 April 2006 13:31 (nineteen years ago)

"corny indie fuq"

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 28 April 2006 13:32 (nineteen years ago)

Goon
Dong
"On some [whole] other [level] shit"

― sleep (sleep), Friday, 28 April 2006 13:37 (nineteen years ago)

FACES

― teh_kit has 18 friends (g-kit), Friday, 28 April 2006 13:43 (nineteen years ago)

amAzing

― teh_kit has 18 friends (g-kit), Friday, 28 April 2006 13:43 (nineteen years ago)

"playing like a true ilx0r"

― teh_kit has 18 friends (g-kit), Friday, 28 April 2006 13:44 (nineteen years ago)

[ilx] GaruG

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 28 April 2006 13:44 (nineteen years ago)

[ILX] RJG

― teh_kit has 18 friends (g-kit), Friday, 28 April 2006 13:46 (nineteen years ago)

"i can't believe he spraylucked me in the face from the other side of the map"

― teh_kit has 18 friends (g-kit), Friday, 28 April 2006 13:46 (nineteen years ago)

pondering naming a character in whatever videogame I play next "Toughburps McFart" while walking home from class last night, I began chuckling like an idiot on the sidewalk

― TOMBOT (TOMBOT), Friday, 28 April 2006 13:53 (nineteen years ago)

five years pass...

have heard two people say on different occasions over the past two days: "you are going to heaven in bodily form" - this is something people say when they are appreciative i guess?

― congratulations (n/a), Thursday, 3 November 2011 17:18 (fourteen years ago)

but i only hear it as "you are going to die"

― congratulations (n/a), Thursday, 3 November 2011 17:18 (fourteen years ago)

huh?? I don't even get it. Is it similar to saying like "Oh thanks, you're an angel." or something?

― Juggy Brottleteen (ENBB), Thursday, 3 November 2011 17:21 (fourteen years ago)

yeah i guess

― congratulations (n/a), Thursday, 3 November 2011 17:25 (fourteen years ago)

what a creepy imposition on your afterlife, geez

― Yasmine Teeth (La Lechera), Thursday, 3 November 2011 17:26 (fourteen years ago)

"No, no, no. That is not the Hopi way."

I first encountered this as a line in a brief dialogue I was supposed to enact with another student in front of my class. Neither of us could get past this line with a straight face. It has induced giggle fits ever since.

― Aimless, Thursday, 3 November 2011 17:30 (fourteen years ago)

thirteen years pass...

murder is a hilarious word

― she freaks, she speaks (map), Friday, 24 October 2025 22:06 (three months ago)

One time I lost it at the phrase "come and go as they please."

― jaymc, Friday, 24 October 2025 22:12 (three months ago)

It still makes me laugh tbh

― jaymc, Friday, 24 October 2025 22:12 (three months ago)

haha

― she freaks, she speaks (map), Friday, 24 October 2025 22:24 (three months ago)

aimless's last one .. 14 years ago made me laugh. i can kind of imagine the scenario.

― she freaks, she speaks (map), Friday, 24 October 2025 22:25 (three months ago)

“So-and-so is very much alive cracks me up for some reason

― brimstead, Friday, 24 October 2025 22:54 (three months ago)

Glad you liked that one. From the same HS class, another line that I sometimes enjoy declaiming in the most dramatic voice I can muster. It doesn't crack me up as much as the other one, but it's fun, too. We were enacting the Greek myth of Theseus and Procrustes. As Theseus I was to say:

"O, House of Hades! Man-devouring! Will thy maw never be full?"

Hilarity ensued.

― more difficult than I look (Aimless), Saturday, 25 October 2025 00:07 (three months ago)

When I'm babbling nonsense noises alone in the car, I will often proclaim "Das Lied von der Erde" or "the Oort cloud" in an impossibly arch faux-middle European accent for which, were you to hear it, you would instantly (and rightfully) despise me. That's usually followed by loudly reciting an excerpt of the Ursonate memorized from Morgan Fisher's clever weirdo compilation album "Miniatures."

I was 12 when Monty Python reached the States, and this is what happens when we get old.

― Hideous Lump, Saturday, 25 October 2025 02:59 (three months ago)

alright, sausage features?

― massaman gai (front tea for two), Saturday, 25 October 2025 07:08 (three months ago)

murder is a hilarious word

I always like to say it in a sly 20c British thespian accent ("mer-der") for some reason. I can't even recall a specific referent for this, but I'm sure there is one.

― She's the Tariff (cryptosicko), Saturday, 25 October 2025 15:37 (three months ago)

one month passes...

the word "slender"

― map, Monday, 8 December 2025 17:42 (two months ago)

the word "chum"

― brimstead, Monday, 8 December 2025 17:51 (two months ago)

any sentence that involves someone "brandishing" something. the less weapon-like, the funnier it is ("brandishing a spatula")

― Paul Ponzi, Tuesday, 9 December 2025 00:47 (two months ago)

i hear that. similarly "festooned".

― brimstead, Tuesday, 9 December 2025 01:21 (two months ago)

both hilarious

― map, Tuesday, 9 December 2025 01:22 (two months ago)

i love the word 'whore'. i mentally yell it at rando dudes i pass (it's only funny if it's dudes) fairly often. it's a little tourettes-y.

― map, Tuesday, 9 December 2025 02:50 (two months ago)

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