We are conceptual artists

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This is the thread where we demonstrate that we could make conceptual art as 'provocative' as Tracey Emin's Bed, Damien Hirst's shark, or the guy who wraps things in stuff. But we've never got beyond having the idea. Here's mine:
'Restaurant'
It's a restaurant with waiters, tables, cutlery etc, but the menus are blank, and it serves no food. Prices are reasonable.

Now yours. Also, what would the art critics say if you did actually do it?

― Joe Kay (feethurt), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 11:59 (twenty-one years ago)

the first person to post 'ILX' gets a prize.

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 12:00 (twenty-one years ago)

I am doing an installation currently of 100 letters I wrote to someone but never sent.

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 12:01 (twenty-one years ago)

a band that only releases blank cd-rs, because it's up to the consumer to decide what the music should be.

― the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 12:01 (twenty-one years ago)

where are you installing them and why?

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 12:01 (twenty-one years ago)

in the white box gallery at the art school i attend. Why? Because I am an *artist*. Teehee!

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 12:03 (twenty-one years ago)

oh.

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 12:03 (twenty-one years ago)

I meant prise.

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 12:05 (twenty-one years ago)

it's still up for grabs.

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 12:05 (twenty-one years ago)

ILX!

what is my prize?

xpost: eek! do not prise me RJG

― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 12:05 (twenty-one years ago)

i'll let you know what the critics thought.

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 12:05 (twenty-one years ago)

see you soon, steve!

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 12:07 (twenty-one years ago)

I currently have a Damp Jacket on display in my work. The juxtaposition of said Jacket and a warm heater shows that however wet one gets on ones way to work doesn't really matter once they have dried off and become engrossed in I.T related piffle.

― Rumpy Pumpkin (rumpypumpkin), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 12:37 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd go around with a Polaroid camera asking for people to take pictures of me. Then they would have to sign the photo. This way they are the artists and I am the subject.

― dog latin (dog latin), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 12:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Why do you want to be provocative? Do you think Emin et al are trying to be provocative?

― run it off (run it off), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 13:00 (twenty-one years ago)

are you trying to be provocative?

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 13:02 (twenty-one years ago)

it's the idea that conceptual artists are primarily or exclusively concerned with provocation that is provocative. It is nothing more than a literate version of the Tabloid idea that all contemporary artists want to do is shock.

― run it off (run it off), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 13:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Dude, I live with a conceptual artist. I have to listen to/come up with this kind of wankery ALL THE BLOODY TIME. At least my other half gets paid for it.

― The River Kate (kate), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 13:53 (twenty-one years ago)

so, you're going to tell me your partner is constantly looking for ways to provoke the public?

― run it off (run it off), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 14:03 (twenty-one years ago)

run it off, I was using the word as an art critic cliche. I suspect that Emin and co aren't all that interested in provoking, but do this stuff because they enjoy it and get paid for it. And I'm glad this stuff is out there. I think it's the critics layering it with meaning that isn't there that bring it into disrepute.
As for me, I wasn't in the least interested in being provocative, and I wasn't having a go at conceptual art. I was genuinely interested in hearing people's ideas that they'll never get around to actually doing.
Kate, tell me a few of the ideas you've come up with, please

― Joe Kay (feethurt), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 14:29 (twenty-one years ago)

No, my partner never wants to provoke the public. He loves and greatly respects the public. He is, however, constantly looking for ways to provoke the ART ESTABLISHMENT which is a very different thing than the public.

― The River Kate (kate), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 15:17 (twenty-one years ago)

i'd have the walls of the art gallery covered in blocks of ripped down posters like this

http://www.urban75.org/photos/london/images/lon002.jpg

and all the critics could go on about Looking Under The Surface Of Celebrity And Capitalism and crap like that.

― zappi (joni), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 15:22 (twenty-one years ago)

one canvas with
'NOT WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS'
on it - titled: 'A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words'

another next to it with
'WORTHLESS WITHOUT A THOUSAND WORDS'
on it - titled: 'This Picture Is Worth A Thousand ~~Words~~ Pounds'

and finally
a painting of the gallery, depicting a mixture of successful businessmen, opulent media smoothies & stylish creatives schmoozing around with white wine and sophisticated nibbles in front of the previous 2 paintings
- titled: 'Serving Suggestion'

― Snowy Mann (rdmanston), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 15:35 (twenty-one years ago)

What's wrong with a nice tune on an acoustic guitar?

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 15:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Okay, so you get a bunch of people together. And you have them live in an apartment building. Not all in the same apartment: some live alone, some share with one or two other people. And they have jobs. Or some of them do, some don't. And they go to the store occasionally to restaurants. Some of them know each other and hang out, and some have friends that like in other apartments. Sometimes one apartment is too loud. The occupants of others never seem to be at home. That one couple is always doing it really loudly in the middle of the night and in the other apartment a baby cries most of the time. No one has pets because the building doesn't allow it except for the people who've smuggled in pets. Once a month, the man comes from the electric company and reads the meter.

And that's it!

― Skottie, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 15:50 (twenty-one years ago)

here’s 24 I made earlier

― run it off (run it off), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 17:03 (twenty-one years ago)

A TV with a flip flop covered in blood on the screen, and on top of the actual TV.

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 17:12 (twenty-one years ago)

three months pass...

a pool of vomit, with the names of everyone who's ever gone out drinking with me written with floating alphabet soup letters.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 3 June 2004 08:51 (twenty-one years ago)

a model of a jagged man in his pyjamas, eyes closed, juggling with a burger, and oxygen tank and a lump of poo. this represents a person's struggle with their constant need to sleep, eat, breath and poo.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 3 June 2004 08:54 (twenty-one years ago)

words i wanted to hear: a looping tape playing of me saying all the words that i always wanted to hear.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 3 June 2004 09:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Ken, I like the vomit especially.

Before I left Denver I sewed up all my saved cash register receipts into little books with black covers.

― sgs (sgs), Thursday, 3 June 2004 09:03 (twenty-one years ago)

......... while Bob Seger's "Get Out of Denver" played in a continuous loop in the background.

― Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 3 June 2004 09:05 (twenty-one years ago)

sarah you should put it for sale for the total cost of those receipts combined

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 3 June 2004 09:07 (twenty-one years ago)

People pay me to drink their beer. Also, for a large sum, I will eat their lunch.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Thursday, 3 June 2004 09:09 (twenty-one years ago)

two computer voices reading out the contents of IRC cybersex sessions.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 3 June 2004 09:09 (twenty-one years ago)

sarah you should put it for sale for the total cost of those receipts combined

This is an excellent idea. I wonder what it would cost. The "piece" itself is in the US though so I won't be able to calculate for a while.

xxpost

― sgs (sgs), Thursday, 3 June 2004 09:13 (twenty-one years ago)

I vote for that jacket of tax returns in Black Books.

― Johnney B (Johnney B), Thursday, 3 June 2004 09:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I have an idea, and I have a week to execute it for my installation class.

What I'm going to do is suspend a million tear shaped pearl beads on transparent fishing line from a three metre high ceiling at varying heights.

I'm not sure what it's going to look like and I can't afford to fuck up, so I hope it works.

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Thursday, 3 June 2004 09:33 (twenty-one years ago)

the title of my last work was "warehouse fire"

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 3 June 2004 09:39 (twenty-one years ago)

a bit like this???

xpost

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 3 June 2004 09:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Well yes i suppose so, much smaller scale though.

Shit, can't i ever have an original idea! :(

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Thursday, 3 June 2004 09:43 (twenty-one years ago)

sorry ipso :(

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 3 June 2004 09:47 (twenty-one years ago)

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