Should Poo Sink or Float??

i think both, though am still trying to do a crap that hits the water without breaking from my ass.

float

That's truly beautiful Geoff.

thank you - i've been trying since 93, in argentina where they eat heeaps of starvch adn meat, and the toilet's have two levels so you get a better view of what you poop, but haven't managed it yet...i will let you know and take photos if i do.

This thread has hit the toilet water which then causes a splash to hit the bottom.

I have actually met someone who doesn't put some loo paper in first to prevent the splash. I mean, I'm in to saving trees and all and wasting paper is not good - but splashes are much worse.

people in dunedin that i have talked to dont put the toilet paper in first unless they are attempting the beautiful and dangerous stealth pee. I guess we are just hard.

there are websites devoted to the perfect, long coiled and unbroken turd. I just dont have them on my favourites list so i cant link them.

it should sink, i reckon. mine only float after a night of hard core boozing.

my friend stephen's poos are so long and unbroken that they can't be flushed away afterwards. no shit. (haha)

ps menelaus says that splash results from bad entry angle

you guys use toilet paper on something other than yr ass- fuck, and i thought i was sick, you guys are freaks!

I once saw a log a foot long. In a public toilet in France. Why does this not surprise me?

When darling wife was at art kollege in cyprus, they had this weird sewage system where U couldn't flush bog roll away, 'cuz it wd blox0r everything up. Consequently, there was a poo rota, where if it ws yr turn, you had to gather all the soiled crap paper together in an oil drum, and set it on fire. I took my turn as well, and you can probably imagine how much it sux0red.

apropos of the usual nothing

xoxo

(toraneko here confronting self-diagnosed "anal issues" with MAGNIFICENT verve, it must be said)

bock rottem, that's what this thread is.

p.s.: when are we gonna start a "should poo stink or not??" thread. or a "which ILEr thinks his/her poo doesn't stink"?

did you miss the thread where nude spock claimed that?

I have anal issues but I don't have poo issues. I think poo is a very interesting topic. Especially Nude Spock's poo, being that it does not smell.

soooo... who's a folder and who's a scruncher?

i am a folder. its mor e efficient.

A nutritionist would say... they should float, break up easily and be a fairly light brown colour. *coughs politely*

folding. yes, folding is the way of the enlightened people, who have too much time on their hands.

I had an exciting experience in the physio building toilets today, the lights were mental and so there was a strobe effect. I felt like I was in a rock video.

folder for sure!

scrunch! more surface area and draggy bits!!

I only just now relaised how much of my life I've wasting with the folding, unaware that there was ANOTHER WAY. So explain to me this hole scrunching thing. It sounds messy.

thread revival time! wheee!

how do you guys get rid of clumps in yr butt hairs, do you grab and rip withloo paper, or do you wash and tug in the shower, or is thier a third path?

the 3rd path is to cut your butt hair.

Okay, I've just spotted this. And had no idea ILE was collectively neurotic about poo noise and splashback UNTIL NOW.

An amusing aside: back when I was living in a shared house we let a room to this sweet little Scottish boy who was seeing a big heffalump of a hippy chick. She must've been on bran or Colon Blow™ cereal because one day Esther ventured into yon commode to find a very lengthy turd left behind by this woman, which was so long about a third of it was peeking out above the water. I have never heard Esther scream so loud, and thereafter the girlfriend was known to all as the Log Lady.

That is what is known as as a "Basking Shark"

To bask, mustn't the 'shark' be at 45 degree angle? This was a 90 according to Es.

My brother once did an 18" long shit, which he promptly christened the bend blocker after it refused to flush away.

Well, this is nice..

I never knew how reserved I was till I read this disgusting thread. Thanks ILE!

Ricky, did he, like, measure it? A CUBIT OF SHIT.

Nah. But the consensus opinion was that it was about half way between one and two feet long.

i hope refractive index was taken into account.

They should sink.

Someone once proposed the theory tha instead of using paper to prevent splashback, you should pour oil into the toilet. Is anyone willing to test this?

problem with pouring oil into the toilet is when i drop my match in to get rid of the stink, WHOOOOOOF!

mind you, it would get rid of the ass hair problem...

suzy - extra points for the twin peaks reference.

Where the hell is Dan? I expect disgusting stories about Harvard classmates.

Then again, maybe we could all just quote that scene in House Party.

I have no poo stories from Harvard, sorry. Or, if I do, I've blocked them from my memory.

I do have a by-proxy poo story from a friend who went to Carleton in Minnesota which I could be coerced into telling...

By-proxy poo? Man, that's my dream.

Share!

I will still watch Caddyshack because of the Baby Ruth.

Freshman year of college, my best friend from high school related a story about his roommate that had me in tears. Picture the scene:

A freshman befriends some jovial upperclassmen. They invite him to a weekend debauch where they are going to induct him into the Century Club. (I've heard different definitions of the Century Club from different sources; theirs was doing 100 shots of beer in 100 minutes.) Their one stipulation was that he needed to bring his own shot glass. The freshman is VERY EXCITED, so excited that he runs to the campus bookstore and buys himself a new shot glass for the occasion. Unfortunately, the poor boy is an inexperienced drinker and doesn't realize that he's purchased a double shot glass. Now, The Freshman is a big guy and keeps up, doing his 100 (really 200) shots of beer in 100 minutes. (Let's step back and analyze this for a second; this guy just drank the equivalent of 5 forties in just over an hour and a half.) To celebrate, he does a shot of tequila. In his double shot glass. Then he does another. In his double shot glass. After this point, the party begins in earnest and people lose track of The Freshman until someone notices a guy who lives further down the hallway rolling with hysterical laughter outside the bathroom while a cluster of people are crowding in the doorway and pointing. After putting together various eyewitness reports, the upperclassmen figured out that all of the alcohol hit The Freshman so hard and so quickly that he spontaneously lost all control of his bodily functions. Embarrassed but barely conscious, he staggered out of the party towards the bathroom, where he interrupted a guy who was brushing his teeth. The toothbrusher watched in disbelief as this obviously destroyed student lurched over to a stall, took of all of his clothes, flushed his boxers down the toilet, then proceeded to vomit copiously and continuously for about fifteen minues. The toothbrusher left the bathroom to get help, but was incapacited by shrieking laughter and could only point people towards the stall as he rolled back and forth in front of the bathroom door. Eventually, someone cleaned the poor kid up and made sure he was going to survive the night, but not before the entire dorm had dubbed him Butt-Naked Puking Boy.

I ran into this guy at a party in '98 and people were still calling him Butt-Naked Puking Boy.

(Nick, if we could patent this by-proxy poo technology, we could OWN THE WORLD.)

Hope to hell that's on his business card these days.

Don't put oil anywhere near your toilet. You will have a grotty ring consisting of oil and poo residue around your toilet bowl for the rest of your life. I accidentally once put oil in a sink full of water and couldn't get rid of the oil for ages, despite using every cleaning product under the sun.

Drunken Shitter stories are always ace.

electic jim - you should have used coke - coke gets rid of everything...btw did you get my email?

Coke eh? I hadn't thought of that. Normally the bottle is empty before I think of anything else useful to do with the contents.

Am at work.. where Hotmail Is Not Permitted. will check for email when I get home