this is the knock knock joke thread

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knock knock

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 04:34 (twenty-two years ago)

who's there?

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 04:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Boo

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 04:37 (twenty-two years ago)

boo who?!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 04:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Don't cry, it's only a joke.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 04:38 (twenty-two years ago)

not to me

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 04:38 (twenty-two years ago)

knock knock

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 04:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 04:38 (twenty-two years ago)

i said knock knock

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 04:40 (twenty-two years ago)

whos there?

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 04:40 (twenty-two years ago)

fang

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 04:41 (twenty-two years ago)

(wearily)fang who?

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 04:42 (twenty-two years ago)

ain't nothin' but a fang

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 04:43 (twenty-two years ago)

fang you very much for opening your door to a vampire!!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 04:43 (twenty-two years ago)

knock knock

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 04:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Knock knock
Who's there?
Knock knock knock
Who's there?
knockknock knockknock
Who's there?
knockknock knockknockknock knock knock
Who's there?
knock knockknock knockknockknock knockknock knock
Who's there
knockknock knock
Who's there
Steve Reich

― Prude (Prude), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 04:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Steve Reich who? Oh, sorry.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 04:51 (twenty-two years ago)

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
[very slowly] "The interrupting cow."
"The inter--"
"MOOOOOOOOOOOO."

― Douglas (Douglas), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 05:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Wa.

Wa who?

now we're having fun

― Aaron A., Tuesday, 9 March 2004 05:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Johnny LeMaster

― Leee the Lee (Leee), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 05:52 (twenty-two years ago)

okay, i have one! you start.

― Maria (Maria), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 05:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Knock knock

― Leee the Lee (Leee), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 05:55 (twenty-two years ago)

who's there?

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 05:55 (twenty-two years ago)

The joke Maria was going to tell.

― Leee the Lee (Leee), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 06:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, I like Aaron's!

Knock knock.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 08:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Who dere?

― Prude (Prude), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 09:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Dwayne.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 09:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Dwayne who?

― Jesus (Chris Piuma), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 09:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Dwayne the tub, I'm dwowning!

― Casuistry (Chris P), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 09:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Haha! That was a good one! Bless you, my child.

― Jesus (Chris Piuma), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 10:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Jesus, I don't care what they say, you're an all right guy in my book.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 10:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Aw, thanks. You too.

― Jesus (Chris Piuma), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 10:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Wait, what do they say?

― Jesus (Chris Piuma), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 10:04 (twenty-two years ago)

they say knock knock

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 13:43 (twenty-two years ago)

three years pass...

knock knock

― s1ocki, Wednesday, 31 October 2007 17:59 (eighteen years ago)

whos there?

― max, Wednesday, 31 October 2007 18:00 (eighteen years ago)

bats

― s1ocki, Wednesday, 31 October 2007 18:03 (eighteen years ago)

bats who?

― max, Wednesday, 31 October 2007 18:11 (eighteen years ago)

Come on man the SUSPENSE is KILLING ME!

― nickalicious, Wednesday, 31 October 2007 18:23 (eighteen years ago)

BATS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU JUST OPENED YOUR DOOR TO A VAMPIRE.

― s1ocki, Wednesday, 31 October 2007 18:51 (eighteen years ago)

knock knock

― s1ocki, Wednesday, 31 October 2007 18:51 (eighteen years ago)

who's there?

― ian, Wednesday, 31 October 2007 18:52 (eighteen years ago)

ivan

― s1ocki, Wednesday, 31 October 2007 18:54 (eighteen years ago)

ivan who?

― impudent harlot, Wednesday, 31 October 2007 18:57 (eighteen years ago)

ivan my cat!!!

― ian, Wednesday, 31 October 2007 18:59 (eighteen years ago)

IVAN TO SUCK YOUR BLOOD!!!

― s1ocki, Wednesday, 31 October 2007 19:07 (eighteen years ago)

knock knock

― Dr Morbius, Wednesday, 31 October 2007 19:11 (eighteen years ago)

who's there?

― jaymc, Wednesday, 31 October 2007 19:12 (eighteen years ago)

what is this, a joke?

― Dr Morbius, Wednesday, 31 October 2007 19:13 (eighteen years ago)

what is this, a joke? who

― s1ocki, Wednesday, 31 October 2007 19:15 (eighteen years ago)

Skipping 23 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Doctor Shit-biscuit who?

― Abbott, Wednesday, 31 October 2007 23:31 (eighteen years ago)

Ding Dong!

― Mark G, Thursday, 1 November 2007 09:19 (eighteen years ago)

oh hang on:

Knock Knock!

― Mark G, Thursday, 1 November 2007 09:20 (eighteen years ago)

ah bollox to yer then!

― Mark G, Thursday, 1 November 2007 14:11 (eighteen years ago)

who dere?

― Ste, Thursday, 1 November 2007 14:20 (eighteen years ago)

The doorbell salesman.

Nah, it's over.

― Mark G, Thursday, 1 November 2007 14:50 (eighteen years ago)

two years pass...

Anyone got any others??

― ilxor being real fucking helpful in this discussion (ilxor), Sunday, 17 October 2010 01:32 (fifteen years ago)

knock knock
- who's there?
glass of milk
- glass of milk who?

GLASS OF MILK ON THE TABLE!

― sarahel, Sunday, 17 October 2010 01:42 (fifteen years ago)

I tried that one ^^ a few moments ago on my wife. She received it coldly. Perhaps I do not know the proper delivery.

― Aimless, Sunday, 17 October 2010 02:00 (fifteen years ago)

i think it helps to be either a) a small child or b) in the company of really drunk people

― sarahel, Sunday, 17 October 2010 02:06 (fifteen years ago)

already really dated, but ...

knock knock

who's there?

taylor swift.

taylor sw-

i'ma let you finish, but beyonce had the greatest knock knock joke of all time. all time!

― a tenth level which features a single castle (tipsy mothra), Sunday, 17 October 2010 02:09 (fifteen years ago)

knock knock

who's there?

kesha

kesha who?

that's what everyone will be saying a year from now, amirite?

― sarahel, Sunday, 17 October 2010 02:13 (fifteen years ago)

knock knock

who's there?

your mom's who!

your mom's who who?

stop talking about grandma's pussy and let me in, you goddamn ingrate

― da croupier, Sunday, 17 October 2010 02:42 (fifteen years ago)

omg slocki in this thread

― avoyoungdro's number (k3vin k.), Sunday, 17 October 2010 03:00 (fifteen years ago)

knock knock

― s1ocki, Wednesday, October 31, 2007 6:51 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

who's there?

― ian, Wednesday, October 31, 2007 6:52 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

ivan

― s1ocki, Wednesday, October 31, 2007 6:54 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

ivan who?

― impudent harlot, Wednesday, October 31, 2007 6:57 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

ivan my cat!!!

― ian, Wednesday, October 31, 2007 6:59 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark

this little guy is sitting next to me licking his paws <3 <3 <3

― not everything is a campfire (ian), Sunday, 17 October 2010 03:06 (fifteen years ago)

awww

― sarahel, Sunday, 17 October 2010 03:12 (fifteen years ago)

Knock knock

Who's there?

Morrissey

Morrissey who?

(in sad Morrissey voice) "Oh nobody knows who I am"

― Stockhausen's Helicopter Quartet (Elvis Telecom), Sunday, 17 October 2010 03:32 (fifteen years ago)

two years pass...

"knock knock."

"who's there?"

"it's the police."

she lets the man in. he's doughy, like an out of shape linebacker. he calls himself detective grant.

"ma'am we've been receiving reports of a young man in his early 20's terrorizing local pets. do you have any information about this?"

"what's going on?"

"well, the suspect has been assaulting the animals and stuffing pieces of fruit in their buttholes."

"what kind of fruit?"

"citrus. mostly oranges."

"oh good."

"waddya mean 'good?'"

"I was worried because I'm allergic to bananas."

the detectives eyes narrowed.

"well, then. orange you glad I didn't say...banana?"

― i've grown accustomed to her face tat (m bison), Thursday, 18 October 2012 02:21 (thirteen years ago)

knock knock

who's there?

yes, and i've got my bartender and my general manager with me

― estela, Thursday, 18 October 2012 02:44 (thirteen years ago)

^ too much time etc

― set the controls for the arse of your mum (sic), Thursday, 18 October 2012 04:16 (thirteen years ago)

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
[very slowly] "The interrupting cow."
"The inter--"
"MOOOOOOOOOOOO."
― Douglas (Douglas), Monday, March 8, 2004

In the realm of knock-knock, which peaks at about age 10, this joke knocks the socks off most any other knock-knock going. K-classic.

― Aimless, Thursday, 18 October 2012 04:53 (thirteen years ago)

knock knock

― Know how Roo feel (LocalGarda), Thursday, 18 October 2012 12:01 (thirteen years ago)

who's there?

― set the controls for the arse of your mum (sic), Thursday, 18 October 2012 12:39 (thirteen years ago)

interrupting sheep

― Know how Roo feel (LocalGarda), Thursday, 18 October 2012 12:43 (thirteen years ago)

interr--

― estela, Thursday, 18 October 2012 12:48 (thirteen years ago)

BAAAAAAA

― Know how Roo feel (LocalGarda), Thursday, 18 October 2012 13:11 (thirteen years ago)

(you sort of ruined it, I was going to go "BAAAA x-post"

― Know how Roo feel (LocalGarda), Thursday, 18 October 2012 13:12 (thirteen years ago)

it's okay though, it was still hilarious imo

― Know how Roo feel (LocalGarda), Thursday, 18 October 2012 13:12 (thirteen years ago)

sorry, i had a coughing fit.

interrupting sheep who? xxp

― estela, Thursday, 18 October 2012 13:12 (thirteen years ago)

BAAA, x-post!!

― Know how Roo feel (LocalGarda), Thursday, 18 October 2012 13:18 (thirteen years ago)

does anyone have IM? that would help here. the joke would definitely work well over that medium. please contact me off-board and i can make the necessary arrangements.

― Know how Roo feel (LocalGarda), Thursday, 18 October 2012 13:19 (thirteen years ago)

no wait it needs to be a phone. the offer stands however.

― Know how Roo feel (LocalGarda), Thursday, 18 October 2012 13:19 (thirteen years ago)

this has gone even better than i expected.

― Know how Roo feel (LocalGarda), Thursday, 18 October 2012 13:19 (thirteen years ago)

irl lol at BAAAA x-post

― estela, Thursday, 18 October 2012 13:23 (thirteen years ago)

An early 90s classic:

Knock knock
-who's there?
Amy Fisher
-Amy Fisher wh...
BANG!

― this is the dream of avril and chad (jer.fairall), Thursday, 18 October 2012 13:28 (thirteen years ago)

xpost BAAA

― Know how Roo feel (LocalGarda), Thursday, 18 October 2012 13:33 (thirteen years ago)

i just noticed aimless's post directly above mine btw.

i feel so low right now.

― Know how Roo feel (LocalGarda), Thursday, 18 October 2012 13:35 (thirteen years ago)

one year passes...

So the other day I realized that my wife (who was not born in an english-speaking country but has lived here for about 18 years now) had no idea how knock-knock jokes work.

Me: Knock knock
H: Who's there?
Me: Interrupting Cow
H:... (keeps walking)
Me: Wait, are you going to let me do the joke or not?
H: I don't get it, why is that funny?

― Hier Komme Die Warum Jetzt (Hurting 2), Monday, 23 June 2014 03:01 (eleven years ago)

This one must be delivered in as condescending a tone as possible:

Knock, knock.
-Who's there?
To.
-To who?
To whom

― You know something? He *did* say "well, yeah" a lot. (cryptosicko), Monday, 23 June 2014 03:21 (eleven years ago)

hahaha i will use this with english teacher friends

― it's not a fedora, it's a trill bae (m bison), Monday, 23 June 2014 04:11 (eleven years ago)

I heard it in an English class!

― You know something? He *did* say "well, yeah" a lot. (cryptosicko), Monday, 23 June 2014 04:27 (eleven years ago)

haha i clicked on this thread with the intent of adding that one.

― JoeStork, Monday, 23 June 2014 04:38 (eleven years ago)

- Knock knock.

.. Whos there?

- No one, cause I killed myself, and I'm talking to you from the grave.

.. Oh.

― Dreamland, Monday, 23 June 2014 04:52 (eleven years ago)

too dark

― it's not a fedora, it's a trill bae (m bison), Monday, 23 June 2014 04:55 (eleven years ago)

aight i made one up tell me what u think:

knock knock
who's there?
spit
spit who?
*ricochet sound effect*

― it's not a fedora, it's a trill bae (m bison), Monday, 23 June 2014 04:56 (eleven years ago)

knock knock
who's there?
hootie
hootie who?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgLFKWy04eE&feature=kp

― it's not a fedora, it's a trill bae (m bison), Monday, 23 June 2014 04:58 (eleven years ago)

knock knock
who's there?
it's me
oh come on in
thanks

― it's not a fedora, it's a trill bae (m bison), Monday, 23 June 2014 05:02 (eleven years ago)

man im getting good at this

― it's not a fedora, it's a trill bae (m bison), Monday, 23 June 2014 05:03 (eleven years ago)

three years pass...

knock knock

who's there?

Focaccia

Focaccia who?

Focaccia sweater at the pizza shop, here you go.

― IF (Terrorist) Yes, Explain (man alive), Friday, 3 November 2017 16:59 (eight years ago)

knock knock
who's there?
smell mop
smell mop who?

hahahaha!

― Josh in Chicago, Friday, 3 November 2017 18:05 (eight years ago)

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