I'm the guy I wanted to be when I was 12.

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I was thinking the other day about myself when I was a young'un. I remember dreaming about how cool it would be to be an older kid, and have a girlfriend and cool friends, and play video games all the time (and be really good at them!), and have a cool computer and other gadgets, and a car, a job, and study something interesting, and write music, and play guitar. Then I realised: hey, this is me! I'm that cool guy I always wished I was. Naturally, this pleases me greatly. I actually feel like I've achieved something, and feel a whole lot better about myself and my life.

So, as kind-of a partner to the depressing "greatest disappointments" thread, this thread should be about those delightful surprises that we all have every now and then.

― Andrew (enneff), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 14:47 (twenty-one years ago)

(If only I were the guy I want to be now - but that doesn't belong in this thread.)

― Andrew (enneff), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 14:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh come on. Did twelve year old you really think you would have to go in to work on a holiday to fix a message board for a bunch of sad losers like us?

― Pete (Pete), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 14:49 (twenty-one years ago)

this sounds like pen!s en1argement spam.

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 14:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Did twelve year old you really think you would have to go in to work on a holiday to fix a message board for a bunch of sad losers like us?

Actually, that's just the kind of nerd-commando style shit 12-year-old me would have killed to be doing.

― Andrew (enneff), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 14:51 (twenty-one years ago)

If only The Lone Gunmen were called The Nerd Commandos more people might have watched it.

I reached my twelve year old aim when I was twenty two. And realised it was shit. Since then I have singularly avoided such fantasies.

― Pete (Pete), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 14:54 (twenty-one years ago)

I think I reached the pinnacle of my 12-year-old self's aspirations 1) the first time I was alone in a room with a naked lady 2) last summer when I dropped over $100 on comic books in one go.

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 14:57 (twenty-one years ago)

My two pre-teen nephews both keep telling their mum that they envy my lifestyle and they want to be just like me when they grow up. Their description of me in a nutshell: "Single, lives on his own, listens to loud music and plays console games whenever he wants."

HA !

― Ste (Fuzzy), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 15:02 (twenty-one years ago)

ste = hugh grant in about a boy.

― ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 15:05 (twenty-one years ago)

My little brother recently told me all his friends looked to me in high school as a source of inspiration, fashion-wise. That was odd. Flattering, yet odd

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 15:08 (twenty-one years ago)

This requires either more details or rabid speculation!

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 15:10 (twenty-one years ago)

please specify details

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 15:12 (twenty-one years ago)

well, I assume that you are a lady and that you were one in high school. And I assume that your brother's friends are male (which may be where I'm wrong). So I'm going to conclude that since your bro's male friends took their fashion cues from you, that you didn't wear a lot of short skirts and high heels. But that's what I would speculate, given free rein.

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 15:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Hell yes. I periodically think about how I'm satisfying 12 year-old me, having money to buy video games and comic books, playing in bands and living with a girl who likes video games and comic books, and it makes me happy.

― Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 15:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Nahh, my brother's all enlightened and stuff, so he had a lot of lady friends (he's a Nice Guy). I dressed kind of like Molly Ringwald in "Pretty in Pink" but without the pink 'cause it's my least favorite color. Or the skirts. So I guess I dressed more like Karl Malden. With jewelry. Go figure.

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 15:24 (twenty-one years ago)

My girlfriend made a trip to Toys 'R' Us last week specifically to fulfill her 12 year-old dream of being able to buy Sea Monkeys and ALL the crazy stuff in the catalog.

I bought a lego Boba Fett w/a lego Han Solo in lego carbonite for my desk at work.

― Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 15:25 (twenty-one years ago)

My bedroom is over run with lego, just like when I was 12 apart from I have categorised all the parts into different containers as opposed to chucking the lot out into the middle of the floor. perhaps I have gone too far?

― Ste (Fuzzy), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 15:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Perhaps they admired you when you were a stripper, Donna ;)

When I was 12 I have no idea what I wanted to be. Teenagerhood scared me rigid, I was still a way away from getting my first kiss, I hadn't discovered proper masturbation, etc. etc. I had, however, come second in the high jump, though I have to say that 2nd was my all time pinnacle so, in field athletics at least, I've always beena disappoinement to myself.

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 15:32 (twenty-one years ago)

"proper masterbation".

my life is pretty much exactly what i'd've wanted aged 12 (except probably i'd've wanted to be in cambridge, not london).

― toby (tsg20), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 15:40 (twenty-one years ago)

WTF? Were you using the backs of your hands or something?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 15:42 (twenty-one years ago)

I hadn't got to the hand yet.

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 15:42 (twenty-one years ago)

FLEXIBLE BASTARD

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 15:44 (twenty-one years ago)

You were using your feet?

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 15:45 (twenty-one years ago)

― Pete (Pete), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 15:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh gosh, I think I know what Mark means. More to the point, I guess I know what he could mean, which means that if he doesn't, I do.

I figured it out by 12, though, iirc.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 15:46 (twenty-one years ago)

12 year old Tep was sure he'd never have this conversation.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 15:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Please tell me you weren't rubbing yourself against trees.

― Madchen (Madchen), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 15:48 (twenty-one years ago)

At twelve there is such a fine line between masturbation and pissing yourself.

― Pete (Pete), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 15:48 (twenty-one years ago)

You need more tissues for the latter.

(I wonder what Tep things I mean?)

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 15:50 (twenty-one years ago)

OMG Mark, you didn't have any pets, did you??????

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 15:53 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't necessarily think you mean it, it's just a possible option. I think it took me like a year or something to figure out the hand was the direct route, you know, rather than just using the hand to hold something else steady -- pillow, mattress, whatever. (Not trees, for heaven's sake, people would see.)

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 15:54 (twenty-one years ago)

What if it was a bonsai tree?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 15:54 (twenty-one years ago)

After Karate Kid, bonsai trees would've entered the realm of non-erotic-by-virtue-of-Pat-Morita-associations, so.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 15:56 (twenty-one years ago)

But Erin Moran was associated with Pat Morita via "Happy Days" and JOANIE WAS SMOKIN'.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 15:59 (twenty-one years ago)

See, the Morita factor must be why Joanie doesn't do it for me!

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 16:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Dammit, I now want a little bonsai tree shaped like Pinkie Tuscadero.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 16:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Pinkie is kinky, but Leather is better. That doesn't really rhyme, but it would be nice if it did.

I don't think the Tuscadero sisters had any scenes with Pat Morita, though, did they? So I'm safe there.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 16:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I think 12 year old me would have been quite excited to see 25 year old me's life. 16-18 year old me, on the other hand, would be absolutely gutted I think.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 16:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Disappointing your 16-18 year old self has got to be some sign of goodness, if my 16-18 year old self is any indication.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 16:15 (twenty-one years ago)

(I think Mark is on a plane to Boston, cracking his knuckles and muttering darkly underneath his breath.)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 16:17 (twenty-one years ago)

He discovered the hand!

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 16:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Now he's hijacked the plane and diverted it to the midwest.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 16:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Oink.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 16:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Quick, send Pat Morita!

I have no idea how that would help, though.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 16:26 (twenty-one years ago)

"How can I pummel you senseless in front of Pat Morita? OH THE SHAME."

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 16:27 (twenty-one years ago)

(Clearly I am still the same person I was when I was 12.)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 16:28 (twenty-one years ago)

He could teach me to use my hands to make the positon of the crane rather than beating off frantically.

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 16:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Besides, Mark would only divert the plane to the Midwest because I still owe him American goodies. I will distract him with our many forms of native streaky bacon.

xpost; there's Mark!

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 16:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Can't recall what I wanted at 12, if anything.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 16:35 (twenty-one years ago)

i wanted to be a professional wrestler.
never quite made it.

― dyson (dyson), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 16:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh god Tep, seriously, if bacon wasn't unmailable I would kill for something like the perfect, gorgeous streaky bacon sarah made me in Denver. sgs to thread to remind me of the brand, it was just pure pure heaven.

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 16:45 (twenty-one years ago)

But yes, knowing that you owe me a debt of ill-defined nature is a beautiful thing. One day, when you're least expecting it, I'm going to call it in. Inna mafia stylee (I hope).

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 16:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Me at twelve wanted to be an actress, so nothing there.
Me at 13-18 would be quite happy with my life now. Big semi-scruffy flat in London with cool, creative friends, writing job, lots of clothes and lots of records. I think I'd have probably passed out with joy and shock if I'd even had a letter printed in The Face, let alone anything else.

Never mind that now I probably have less disposable income and I will never be that thin again.

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 16:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, I owe you bacon if you're ever where I am or vice versa, then :) Indiana's really rolling in it.

I haven't forgotten the debt! Don't worry. I'm your American connection. You want Ding Dongs? I can hook you up with Ding Dongs. Etc.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 16:49 (twenty-one years ago)

dongs.

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 16:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Ding!

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 16:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Such the thread sidetrack.

I think I wanted to be a rock star when I was 12. Of course. As it stands, having a place all my own surrounded by music and books and things and staying up as late as I want, plus oodles of friends and lots of travel opportunities and getting paid for my writing and all that = fuckin' right on, as my friend Chris Bradbury would say.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 17:15 (twenty-one years ago)

I am not a rock star! :(

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 18:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Ned OTM.

I was pretty obsessed with music and Duran Duran in general at 12, so I'm sure the 12-year-old me would love the fact that not only did I have a good go in music biz, but that I actually got to MEET Duran Duran as part of my JOB. Of course jaded 33-year-old me thinks it's all silly, but in the 'big picture' sense, the young me would be reasonably impressed with my achievements...

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 18:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I am not a pop star. I do not live in Space with Jason from G-Force. I am not an international spy and I have not killed James Bond. I do not breed racehorses, or own a dalmation farm. I am a failure!

― The River Kate (kate), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 18:24 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah I've got nothing to complain about. Neither does mr teeny, who still has all his GI Joes and used them to recreate the Battle of Troy a few summers ago with a like-minded friend. "Μηνιν!!!"

― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 18:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe this is it. Maybe we're all just trying to satisfy our twelve year old selves which is why most guys never really grow up out of reading comics, playing video games and pretending they're rock stars. Not until they're well into their married life will their 12 year old passions be quashed.

― dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 18:31 (twenty-one years ago)

On the plus side, I wasn't wiped out by a nuclear strike or natural disaster!

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 18:33 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd never get married if that's the way I thought marriage worked.

I'm not sure an internet message board is the best place to collect data determining why guys play video games and read comics, though :)

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 18:34 (twenty-one years ago)

i think it's ideal, actually.

― dyson (dyson), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 18:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Not until they're well into their married life will their 12 year old passions be quashed.

That is a sad, sad statement.

― Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 18:45 (twenty-one years ago)

However, I once got an email from Nick Rhodes saying that he thought my lyrics were witty and my tunes were pretty. My 12-year old self would just about DIE!!! over that.

― The River Kate (kate), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 18:46 (twenty-one years ago)

My band played a show in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan. My 12-year-old self is pretty proud of me for that one.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 18:47 (twenty-one years ago)

x-post...

You don't give up on your childish dreams until you actually *have* a child. Nothing like having a 12 year old to cure you of wanting to be one.

― The River Kate (kate), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 18:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Ah, so *that's* why I'm not having kids.

― Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 18:47 (twenty-one years ago)

That's not true either, though, as ILE's parents would attest. I had kids. Still watch cartoons. Taking care of 6 year olds may cure you of wanting to be a teenager forever, but what wouldn't?

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 18:50 (twenty-one years ago)

That is a sad, sad statement.

Yes, sorry, I'm a little cynical this week. Didn't really mean it. Oh hang on, the wife's calling, gotta go...

― dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 18:50 (twenty-one years ago)

However, I once got an email from Nick Rhodes saying that he thought my lyrics were witty and my tunes were pretty. My 12-year old self would just about DIE!!! over that.

Whoah! It would be hard to feel disappointed over anything again after that.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 19:05 (twenty-one years ago)

I once got an email from Nick Rhodes

Wouldn't your twelve-year-old self also ask: "What the hell is e-mail?"

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 19:07 (twenty-one years ago)

I was about to say! That's like when I got mentioned in one of the Tolkien manuscript collections and Christopher Tolkien proceeded to discuss my argument in an article I cowrote with due consideration. VERY cool.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 19:08 (twenty-one years ago)

I can't think of one thing about my life that the 12 yr old me would approve of, except possibly the cat. Le sigh.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 19:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Nothing wrong with that.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 19:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually, this thread along with the act/sat score thread and the disappointment thread has left me feeling more crushed and depressed than I even thought possible.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 19:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Are you sure impressing 12 year olds is the best test of personal success?

― winterland, Tuesday, 9 March 2004 19:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually, this thread along with the act/sat score thread and the disappointment thread has left me feeling more crushed and depressed than I even thought possible.

At the risk of sounding like I'm telling you how to feel, you really shouldn't. (Especially the ACT/SAT score thread, which is no more meaningful than the What Are You Listening To Today thread. That one, I can understand being upset over, cause sometimes someone'll be listening to something and I'll think, "Fuck, I want that CD, but I don't have it.")

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 19:41 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't remember wanting to be anything specific when I was 12. I couldn't quite imagine growing OLD. (at the time I thought 20 was old, so now I'm ancient at 29).

But I don't think my 12 yr old self would approve of much in my life now either.

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 19:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Uh, what Tep said.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 19:45 (twenty-one years ago)

12 yr olds are generally pretty clueless, yeah.

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Tuesday, 9 March 2004 19:48 (twenty-one years ago)

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