real dead or just dead in wrestling???

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are the old westers realy dead or just dead acording wrestling???are there anyone with brains that can realy answer deceitly I doubt it these crazy answers are stupid????

― Donna Bentley (Donna Bentley), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 00:55 (twenty-one years ago)

donna there's a fellow i'd like you to meet named dom...

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 00:56 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.signalstation.com/pix/bluepanthercover.jpg

― dean! (deangulberry), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 00:56 (twenty-one years ago)

hi, donna, i get all my wrestling questions answered here:

http://www.goatse.cx

― the camel crunch (gygax!), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 00:56 (twenty-one years ago)

gygax you cad

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 00:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Donna Bentley, you should try to stick to the informal usage of this board and limit yourself to asking 1 or 2 questions a day.

― take it easy, Wednesday, 10 March 2004 00:59 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.newjackuncut.com/tnaphotos/New%20Jack.1%20collage.jpg

OK, so he was never the best worker of all time, but if you want me to go out on a limb and name my favourite wrestler of all time... actually, it'd be Brian Pillman. But New Jack would run him a close second. The pure surrealness of a New Jack match, they way they'd play his theme tune on loop for about fifteen minutes, the shopping trolley full of weapons (I remember him smacking... DeVito (I think) in the bollocks with a keyboard once, to which Joey Styles on commentary said "New Jack has just logged on!"), and the complete absence of any wrestling ability whatsoever... he basically invented the nutter balcony dive. And not in some pussy-assed once-a-year Jeff Hardy way. He'd be diving 30 foot onto tables week in, week out. He has four justifiable homicides to his name from his days as a bounty hunter. He's also probably the only guy that's made a racist gimmick work since Colonel DeBeers. New Jack- I salute you.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 01:05 (twenty-one years ago)

I actually saw New Jack when ECW came to michigan in late 99. usual mix of plunder, blood, industrial staplers, etc.

oh, how i wish my roll of film from that show hadn't been stolen.

i still want a cactus jack shirt.

― Kingfish Cowboy (Kingfish), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 02:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Notice in the second-from-bottom pic on the left side of the New Jack montage, Shark Boy (in the mask) is offering New Jack A PAIR OF HULK HANDS.

― Nate in ST.P (natedetritus), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 02:46 (twenty-one years ago)

How the heck did ILX become a one-stop wrestling info centre? And me w/out my Lucha Libre mask!

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 03:13 (twenty-one years ago)

I thought goatse had been taken off? I've still not had the pleasure of seeing him yet....

― Rumpy Pumpkin (rumpypumpkin), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 12:43 (twenty-one years ago)

New Jack was only cool during those ECW matches where they start off one-on-one, then the partners join in so it's two-on-two and then the hangers-on join in so it's four-on-four and then he'd come in and just hit everyone with everything. Which I guess was 85% of the undercard.

― alex in montreal, Thursday, 11 March 2004 02:15 (twenty-one years ago)

This recent influx of I Love Dead Wrestlers shit is funny and slightly confusing.

Hey, apparently Brock Lesnar's quitting wrestling for the NFL.

― ferg (Ferg), Thursday, 11 March 2004 02:19 (twenty-one years ago)

huh. that's a switch. usually it's the other way 'round.

― Kingfish Cowboy (Kingfish), Thursday, 11 March 2004 02:22 (twenty-one years ago)

His transformation into Bizarro Goldberg is now complete

― Nate in ST.P (natedetritus), Thursday, 11 March 2004 03:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Hopefully he'll get into a series of amusing fights and scrapes arising from a mistaken belief that it's all worked.

― ferg (Ferg), Thursday, 11 March 2004 03:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Running on the field and hitting the opposing QB over the head with a steel chair would be very funny.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 11 March 2004 12:59 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.loolix.com/2003/01/homer-xfl.png

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 11 March 2004 13:23 (twenty-one years ago)

alex in montreal OTM. Remember that match where the locker room emptied and there was like 30 people at ringside and Kid Kash just quebraded them all?

Legend...

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 11 March 2004 13:24 (twenty-one years ago)

That's a word that only shows up on one page in Google. What does it mean?

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 11 March 2004 14:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Past tense of "quebrada":

quebrada - springboard off the second ropes inside the ring, into a moonsault

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 11 March 2004 14:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually, it was probably a tope con hilo that he did now I think about it.

Still. Legend.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 11 March 2004 14:11 (twenty-one years ago)

also known as an Asai Moonsault, when done on the outside of the ring.

Rey Mysterio Jr/Tajiri are the only WWE regulars(?) who've done it in the last coupla years, i think.

― Kingfish Cowboy (Kingfish), Thursday, 11 March 2004 14:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Kidman's done them in the past, but I'm guessing Vincent K wouldn't let him get away with that now?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 11 March 2004 14:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Ultimo Dragon still does it, when the WWE still lets him actually wrestle.

If you didn't know/forgot Ultimo was with the WWE, that's pretty understandable.

― Nate in ST.P (natedetritus), Thursday, 11 March 2004 15:24 (twenty-one years ago)

He was wrestling last week on Smackdown!

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 11 March 2004 17:23 (twenty-one years ago)

oh he is? i thought he got the usual ignored treatment.

of course, i haven't seen a full ep of a wrestling show in over a year, so there you go..

― Kingfish Cowboy (Kingfish), Thursday, 11 March 2004 17:28 (twenty-one years ago)

and he's in the WWE SmackDOWN! Here comes the pain! game!

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 11 March 2004 17:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Did he sever all ties with Toryumon when he signed for WWE, or was it kinda like when Lawler signed back in the early 90s and he still booked his home promotion? From what I hear, Toryumon's doing perfectly well for itself without him, outdrawing New Japan in some places.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 11 March 2004 17:31 (twenty-one years ago)

this just in: I have a free ticket to Wrestlemania XX.

― hstencil, Thursday, 11 March 2004 23:33 (twenty-one years ago)

I wish I were in the US to ask to join you, Joel! I shall settle for seeing it on TV. I am envious. It's at Madison Square Gardens, isn't it?

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 12 March 2004 00:01 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah it's at MSG, I've never been inside before. If it was up to me, I'd let you join in Martin, but I'm going as +1 of a journalist friend of mine. I'll let you know if my press pass lets me see any funny stuff behind the scenes, though.

― hstencil, Friday, 12 March 2004 00:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Ah, I thought you meant that you had a spare. I couldn't make it anyway, obviously. It might destroy the illusion to see, say, Triple H and Sean Michaels or Big Show and John Cena being pally backstage. It would almost make the whole thing seem unreal!

My ex-wife was working in a motorway service station when we met, and one night the two biggest deadly enemies in British wrestling were in there together, travelling together and plainly best friends - this was Big Daddy and Giant Haystacks (who did go to the US briefly as the Loch Ness Monster! He was 6'11 and about 550 pounds, long black hair and beard), for any old Brit wrestling fans.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 12 March 2004 00:21 (twenty-one years ago)

It would almost make the whole thing seem unreal!

hahahahaha, you said it!

― hstencil, Friday, 12 March 2004 00:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Joel, you must report back! Btw, what's the card this year?

― Leee the Lee (Leee), Friday, 12 March 2004 00:41 (twenty-one years ago)

. Eddie Guerrero vs Kurt Angle
. Shawn Michaels vs Triple H vs mumblemumble (maytbe Chris Jericho)
. John Cena vs The Big Show
. Every Cruiserweight wrestler ever (okay, ten of them) in the ring at the same time. Incl. Ultimo Dragon, Rey Mysterioso, Chavo Guerrero, Tajiri
. Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg, Stone Cold refereeing.
. Mick Foley & The Rock's Rock & Sock Connection vs three members of Evolution.
. Molly Holly vs mumblemumble, if Molly loses she'll shave her head.
. Some tag team nonsense, involving some or more of the Basham Bros, World's Greatest Tag Team, Konishki(?)/Scottie 2 Hottie and another group who I forget. Infact this match will involve all of them, but I can't remember who's on the bill.

I'm amazed I picked that up in one show.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Friday, 12 March 2004 11:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Chris Benoit fans worldwide weep at him being referred to as "mumblemumble."

― anode (anode), Friday, 12 March 2004 11:58 (twenty-one years ago)

I can hear Scott Keith crying from here.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 12 March 2004 12:08 (twenty-one years ago)

They didn't have nobbut a few seconds of the wrestlers for the triple match posing. Am I right in thinking that they're from RAW, and Wrestlemania is one of the few times a year that wrestlers from both camps appear on the same bill (though not against each other)?

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Friday, 12 March 2004 12:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Some are against each other, Andrew - Brock and Goldberg. And Benoit basically transferred to Raw for that match against Triple H and Shawn Michaels. Molly Holly is fighting Victoria. There is also the first ever evening gown match (don't ask me, but I bet they don't all end up in this very practical wrestling gear) between whoever the two "WWE divas" who ended up in Playboy recently and two others who didn't - that's a Raw vs Smackdown one too. Are the APA not involved in that four-way tag match too? Chris Jericho is fighting Christian, over a spat about wosshername, can't remember, blonde woman...

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 12 March 2004 13:42 (twenty-one years ago)

The APA sounds familiar. Chris Jericho/Christian is probably what I filed as "prettyboy match".

I used to occasionally see WWE/F just when it was on telly, and I never really liked Kurt Angle, but I'm impressed with how well he's turned into a psychopath. It was strange seeing a practically flag-draped American hero talking about how he knew someone else was fundamentally a villian and how waiting for him to reveal this would be too late. Wierdly political, and very entertaining.

He Lies, He Cheats, He Steals, but is Eddie Guerrero actually a heel in the ring? He's certainly got charisma to spare. The Smackdown manager is an absolutely horrible actor. I couldn't figure out whether he was meant to be a anti-semitic caricature or not. (Or just anti-Penn Jilette).

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Friday, 12 March 2004 14:05 (twenty-one years ago)

No, Eddie stopped being a heel a month or two back. I hadn't seen Paul Heyman as Jewish, and I don't know if that is a Jewish name - and I'm not sure that I see any of his bad traits as particularly stereotypically Jewish, so I can't see it as anti-semitic at all.

I always thought Kurt Angle was one of the funniest actors in the WWF, but he is doing the evil psycho thing well now too.

The APA is the Acolyte Protection Agency, Farouk and Bradshaw, two tough barroom brawler types. The Moslem name (he used to be Ron Simmons) is a bit misleading, since their standard out of ring image is playing poker, smoking cigars, drinking beer and starting fights. They're probably my favourite current tag team, in an extremely poor era for such.

Do the Raw tag champs, Rob Van Damme and Booker T, have a match at all?

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 12 March 2004 16:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, they're also having a four-way against the Dudley Boyz, La Resistance (who really need a gimmick change, STAT) and Jindrak/Cade (yeah, I know, who?).

Also, it's Rey Mysterio. "Rey Mysterioso" is the lesser-known cousin of L'Angelo.

― Nate in ST.P (natedetritus), Friday, 12 March 2004 17:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Where's WU when you need them...

― dean! (deangulberry), Friday, 12 March 2004 17:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Ah yes - that new team has come from nowhere, hasn't it? La Resistance is very lame, especially when they explain that the other one isn't French, but is a French sympathiser!

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 12 March 2004 17:38 (twenty-one years ago)

The other French one got injured and was shit. The two eight man jobberfest tag title matches are gonna stink the card up big time.

Are there any people other than Al Wilson that are actually 'just dead in wrestling'? The Undertaker doesn't count because he's died about eight times and there's this weird sort of narrative blindspot for him where they make out like he's dead but don't speak in kayfabed hushed Owen Hart voices and have tributes about it.

― ferg (Ferg), Friday, 12 March 2004 17:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Well it is different when being dead is part of your gimmick.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 12 March 2004 17:47 (twenty-one years ago)

...are there anyone with brains that can realy answer deceitly...

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 12 March 2004 18:00 (twenty-one years ago)

So they're retiring the sub-Kid Rock gimmick? (hopes)

― O.Leee.B. (Leee), Friday, 12 March 2004 18:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, so instead of like, being a redneck who puts the the younger kids over by kicking out of their finisher, beating them clean and then clutching his ribs slightly in a 'ooh, almost got a bit hairy back there' way, he'll just be rocking his invincible death zombie tombstone tombstone TOMBSTOOONE thing instead.

― ferg (Ferg), Friday, 12 March 2004 18:09 (twenty-one years ago)

they need to bring back Gangrel. I liked his whole Vampire schtick with Edge. But once it went Brood it was crapola.

― Chris 'The Velvet Bingo' V (Chris V), Friday, 12 March 2004 18:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, but he can also manipulate the WEATHER as well now. X-post.

― ferg (Ferg), Friday, 12 March 2004 18:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Where's the Blue Meanie when you need him.

― Chris 'The Velvet Bingo' V (Chris V), Friday, 12 March 2004 18:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe he's dead.

― ferg (Ferg), Friday, 12 March 2004 18:14 (twenty-one years ago)

No, he lost a lot of weight and he's banging porn stars.

― Nate in ST.P (natedetritus), Friday, 12 March 2004 18:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Val Venis style.

― Chris 'The Velvet Bingo' V (Chris V), Friday, 12 March 2004 18:17 (twenty-one years ago)

"You know, the big Valbowski's a lot like a Rubik's cube. The longer you play with it, the harder it gets."

― O.Leee.B. (Leee), Friday, 12 March 2004 18:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Where's the Blue Meanie when you need him.

How 'bout The Blue Meanies!?!
http://www.thickrecords.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000003/thk-057_huge.gif

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 12 March 2004 18:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh god, Val Venis' pornstar gimmick... was more mic time ever given to a less deserving man?

And, yeah, Paul Heyman is Jewish. As are Raven and A-Train, who respectively are the wrestlers he's helped push most in ECW and WWE. Conspiracy theorists, start... here.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 12 March 2004 18:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Dead in wrestling not in the real world... does Big Show's dad count? As he was dead about ten years before they did the "Big Show's dad's dead" gimmick, so...

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 12 March 2004 18:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh yeah, 'Pepper' and Lucifer as well, I spose.

― ferg (Ferg), Friday, 12 March 2004 19:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Although, I suppose they're both probably dead for real by now anyway.

― ferg (Ferg), Friday, 12 March 2004 19:57 (twenty-one years ago)

you guys make me want to start watching wrestling again. i feel dirty.

― Ian Johnson (orion), Friday, 12 March 2004 20:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Just watch PPVs from the early 90s. Time does a lot to lessen bad working. I think it's called "kitsch value", but I'm not sure.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 12 March 2004 20:07 (twenty-one years ago)

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