Request: Comedy methods of resignation

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Tomorrow morning i have the rare pleasure of quitting a job which i will not need a reference from. I'm also pretty sure i don't have to give any more that a days notice.

How can i make this fun?

― Slump Man (Slump Man), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 20:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Actually, i don't neccessarily have to resign. Being fired will be just as if not more entertaining.

― Slump Man (Slump Man), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 20:03 (twenty-two years ago)

nothing's funnier than sleeping with the boss's significant other, on the board room table...during a board meeting!

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 20:06 (twenty-two years ago)

with yr balls out

― dean! (deangulberry), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 20:14 (twenty-two years ago)

8:00 - 10:00 am: chug maker's mark
10:00 - 10:30 am: piss in water cooler
10:30 - 11:00 am: nap time
11:00 - 12:00 am: strip completely nekkid one article of clothing at a time
12:00 - 2:30 pm: smoke joints in the parking lot, if anyone asks you're 'taking lunch'
2:30 - 3:00 pm: grope all co-workers, male or female
3:00 - 3:02 pm: shove semi-erect penis in bosses face making Batman "POW!" sound fx
3:02 - 3:30 pm: run away, stay just far enough ahead of him/her that the chase continues
3:30 - 4:00 pm: hide in bushes, refuel (aka chug more maker's)
4:30 - 5:00 pm: go back inside and give everyone a teary-eyed goodbye
5:00 - 5:15 pm: "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, and fuck YOU."
5:15 - 5:16 pm: "All I wanna know is, who's comin with me?"
5:16 - 5:30 pm: get dragged out by police

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 20:20 (twenty-two years ago)

But you do that every day, I thought.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 20:25 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.40ozmaltliquor.com/rainierale.jpg

― andy, Wednesday, 10 March 2004 20:42 (twenty-two years ago)

A Baltimore guy named Ben Valis (those in the '90s indie/punk demimonde might know him from the Small Intestine Club) was gonna quit his job at a coffee shop and decided to treat it like a gig/performance. From what I heard, he fliered for it and invited his friends.

― Lee G (Lee G), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 21:51 (twenty-two years ago)

with yr balls out

this is correct, of course. Your balls have been cooped up for way too long. Put them out, dry them in the cool breeze. rest them on soon-to-be-co-worker's noses.

― Kingfish Cowboy (Kingfish), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Pretend you're ill, and every day, call in with increasingly implausible maladies, until you get fired.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Burst through the doors shouting "I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, briefed, debriefed, indexed or numbered! My life is my own!" before storming out.

Deliver a photo of yourself smiling enigmatically with typed 'X's through your face instead of a resignation letter.

Run around the office while pretending to be chased by a huge white ball, all the time screaming "Where am I?... What d'you want?... You won't get it!... Who are you?... WHO IS NUMBER ONE??... I AM NOT A NUMBER!! I AM A FREE MAN!!" Then collapse and mime having your face pushed through a sheet of white plastic.

― Vic Fluro, Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Falsify a death threat.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Vic's suggestions are fantastic.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 23:09 (twenty-two years ago)

four months pass...

REVIVE!

― Revivalist (Revivalist), Monday, 19 July 2004 11:21 (twenty-one years ago)

"How come this company only lets cocksuckers get to the top?"

Tell your boss you're not coming in tomorrow. And then never ever go back.

― Huk-El (Horace Mann), Monday, 19 July 2004 13:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Bake your boss a cake. Bake into this cake a series of tiny refridgerator magnet letters and a large dose of laxative. Leave the office. By the time your boss realizes you're gone, he's gonna get the wicked shits, run to the toilet, and when he gets up he'll see the words "I QUIT DOOD" floating there in his own excrement.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 19 July 2004 13:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Genius!!!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 19 July 2004 13:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Of course then you run the risk that he'll get the message: "QUOD IDIOT"

― Huck, Monday, 19 July 2004 13:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Tell your boss you're not coming in tomorrow. And then never ever go back.

I've done this, and trust me. It's very, very satisfying.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Monday, 19 July 2004 15:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Take an assuat rifle to work and blast everyone to bits. Good times.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 19 July 2004 17:11 (twenty-one years ago)

eh..."assault" is what i meant. sheesh.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 19 July 2004 17:12 (twenty-one years ago)

ass assault everyone at work

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 19 July 2004 17:13 (twenty-one years ago)

But that sounds just like work, ken.

― Michael White (Hereward), Monday, 19 July 2004 17:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually, you'd be surprised what can be fun when you make a game out of it.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 19 July 2004 17:46 (twenty-one years ago)

an asshat rifle

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Monday, 19 July 2004 17:56 (twenty-one years ago)

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