I'm getting married tomorrow - anyone have ideas, theories, diatribes or timely advice about marriage?

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Cos I'm excited. It's a new world, but it's almso sorta not, cos we've been together for 6 years. We'll be married by civil ceremony at City Hall in New York.

― paulhw (paulhw), Thursday, 11 March 2004 22:23 (twenty-two years ago)

good luck! The nice thing about getting married there is the ceremony lasts like 5 seconds.

― hstencil, Thursday, 11 March 2004 22:25 (twenty-two years ago)

it's like graduation in a small town.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 11 March 2004 22:25 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah but if the chick gets pregnant afterwards, no one gets in trouble.

― hstencil, Thursday, 11 March 2004 22:26 (twenty-two years ago)

story of my life

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 11 March 2004 22:30 (twenty-two years ago)

wait nevermind

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 11 March 2004 22:30 (twenty-two years ago)

anyway, good luck paul...if you've made it this far and still are going through with it you should be fine and dandy.

(says he who usually tops out at 18 months)

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 11 March 2004 22:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Good luck to you, and may you have a long and beautifully happy marriage.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 11 March 2004 22:32 (twenty-two years ago)

and thanks for your well-wishes. is nice.
yeah, well the idea is that we'll do things our way with friends (central park, cheesecake, wine, only close friends etc) rather than attempt to pay for stuff we don't really want anyway (the clothes, reception, flowers, relatives, 8-tier cake)

― paulhw (paulhw), Thursday, 11 March 2004 22:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Best wishes.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 11 March 2004 22:49 (twenty-two years ago)

whatever you do, don't ask me to be a groomsman and let me crash in your hotel room tonight because when you wake up at 7am in a panic wondering if you're really getting married, i will have poisoned the room with horrible flatulence whilst asleep

or so i'm told

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Thursday, 11 March 2004 22:57 (twenty-two years ago)

since i don't know you, you should be fine

best wishes

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Thursday, 11 March 2004 22:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Wow, a bit of a surprise! (Not to you, I mean.) I can only offer my best wishes, so I do so. :-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 11 March 2004 23:21 (twenty-two years ago)

why oh why does the groomsman and flatulence sound so familiar from my wedding day.

anyways, have a blast. my wedding day was probably the greatest day of my life.

― JaXoN (JasonD), Thursday, 11 March 2004 23:21 (twenty-two years ago)

it's all gone downhill from there

― JaXoN (JasonD), Thursday, 11 March 2004 23:21 (twenty-two years ago)

My wedding day was kinda fun - I drank lots of champagne anyway, so if it sucked i don't remember.

Downhill from there is about right.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 11 March 2004 23:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Why aren't you currently out on the lash?

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 11 March 2004 23:48 (twenty-two years ago)

One thing L. & I did at our wedding, which I STRONGLY endorse: Tell the caterers to put aside some snacks and drinks in a side room with a closed door. As SOON as you've been pronounced married, go--just the two of you--to the room, and take a few minutes to just be married. Eat and drink a little. Feed each other. Your guests will still be there when you come back out in 5 or 10 minutes. Trust me on this.

― Douglas (Douglas), Friday, 12 March 2004 00:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Aw. Douglas clearly has some damned sound advice. :-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 12 March 2004 00:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Have a great one, and Don't forget to rock.

(and give my regards to the Polar bears in the zoo there)

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 12 March 2004 15:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Douglas is so otm here. This is U&K!!!! Have fun guys, hope y'all have a fun day & a happy rest of life type thang!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Friday, 12 March 2004 15:10 (twenty-two years ago)

but does city hall have caterers?

― kephm, Friday, 12 March 2004 15:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Congratulations, you have just added 5-7 years to your life expectency.

Sounds like you didn't go through too much of the usual wedding planning torture, which is where I might have offered something pertinent and useful. Beyond that, I will just say that getting married is like having kids: It's not for everyone, but if it's for you, it's the best thing you will ever do. Cheers.

― Lee G (Lee G), Friday, 12 March 2004 16:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Congratulations, you have just added 5-7 years to your life expectency.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 12 March 2004 16:03 (twenty-two years ago)

I was told by a friend upon getting hitched myself that married men supposedly live an average 5-7 years longer than their single brethren.

― Lee G (Lee G), Friday, 12 March 2004 17:04 (twenty-two years ago)

*scratches chin* Clearly my goal is wait until I'm about to die and then get married and then I'm set for a further few years. Woo!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 12 March 2004 17:25 (twenty-two years ago)

It's really, really fun. Make sure you have a bachelor party and make sure the DJ plays Daft Punk and The Replacements!

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Friday, 12 March 2004 17:33 (twenty-two years ago)

You sound a lot like me and my now spouse. We didn't want to participate in the usual wedding bullshit, so we got hitched at a courthouse. The ceremony was actually very nice, we got to say the classic "for better, for worse" stuff and it was all quite pleasant. Eloping was one of the smarter things I have ever done.

A year and a half later, and I must say I do like being married to my husband. Probably wouldn't much like marriage to anyone else, though. But you've been together for a long time and I'm sure you'll find marriage quite nice. Congratulations!

― quincie, Friday, 12 March 2004 17:41 (twenty-two years ago)

The wedding bullshit is great.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Friday, 12 March 2004 17:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I've been married for 20 years. Along with my wedding vows, I made a vow to myself that I would never refuse to talk to my wife about anything, ever, and that I'd talk as long as necessary. In essence, the vow means I will always open the door to her. No exceptions. If she asks a question about me, I will always try to answer her. If she fails to understand, I will try again.

Fulfilling this vow can be incredibly frustrating. More than once I have howled like a forlorn dog, smacked myself repeatedly on the head, and cried mad tears of frustration when every single patient attempt to communicate has apparently failed. But we always keep trying and eventually we get where we need to go, even if the process takes months or years. It ain't pretty, but it works.

The other thing I'd say is that, as wonderful as romance is, it will fade sooner or later. Love won't. Friendship won't. With a bit of luck, they'll deepen. Marriage is bread and salt, with only occasional roses.

― Aimless (Aimless), Friday, 12 March 2004 18:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Congratulations! I wish you all the best. I've been married since July and it has been both the most difficult and wonderful time of my life.

― Jay Vee (Manon_70), Friday, 12 March 2004 18:56 (twenty-two years ago)

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