Defend Polyamory

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do you support it and/or partake in the lifestyle? "In a relationship where one person is polyamorous and the other is not, the other is basically screwed." How true is that line?

― leese, Monday, 15 March 2004 06:32 (twenty-two years ago)

If the non-polyamorous person isn't aware of their partner's predilections they are definitely in for a world of unfun.

But that's not really polyamory that's infidelity. Otherwise whatever arrangements people have are all good. Different strokes (and # of strokes) for different folks.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Monday, 15 March 2004 06:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I like one man with one woman only.

― A Nairn (moretap), Monday, 15 March 2004 06:44 (twenty-two years ago)

I've friends who are polyamorous and take it very seriously, and it has seemed to work to an extent. However, I still can't shake the feeling when I see their dynamics that there's an "alpha" person in these types of arrangements who has the cake and eats it, and everyone else just says they're ok with it all to keep the peace. I know of two couples who had a third person in the relationship and it was always male and multiple females, with someone inevitably unhappy on given days (due to partner being off with other woman etc) even though overall they say they're happy.

Still maybe some people are 100% comfy with it, I can imagine some would be.

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 15 March 2004 07:01 (twenty-two years ago)

i think they had a few threads on this recently, but what's to defend? If all parties involved are OK with it why would anyone be against it?

― D Aziz (esquire1983), Monday, 15 March 2004 08:55 (twenty-two years ago)

oops, polyamory, not polygamy, my bad. I think my "argument" still stands though.

― D Aziz (esquire1983), Monday, 15 March 2004 08:56 (twenty-two years ago)

maybe the idea of defending polyamory - taken too literally - creates more problems than it solves. For instance, D Aziz seems to think that it doesn't need a defence, in which case the discussion drops unless you get someone on the thread disagreeing, which leads to polarised debates. Can we discuss issues around polyamory without defending or attacking it? Can we be curious instead of antagonistic? Maybe this is a polyamorous approach to discussion?

― run it off (run it off), Monday, 15 March 2004 10:30 (twenty-two years ago)

polyarmory defends itself

signed,

curmudgeonly crusader

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Monday, 15 March 2004 10:50 (twenty-two years ago)

"If all parties involved are OK with it why would anyone be against it? "

Trayce seems to be saying that if it looks like all parties are OK with it they really may not be.

― A Nairn (moretap), Monday, 15 March 2004 17:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Indeed. And I mean its like any other kind of relationship, you often see someone saying "oh I am so happy with so and so" when they might either be ignoring a massive problem, or deluded there even IS a relationship, or whatever.

"Sure, I'm all cool with Fred having 3 other partners" sez Jane, when secretly she hates it but she loves Fred so much she keeps her mouth shut.

That isnt good, but then again, it wouldnt be good in a regular relationship to put up with shit for the sake of it either I supose.

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 02:36 (twenty-two years ago)

It's not okay to "put up with shit" in a relationship?
Relationships are impossible without putting up with an
inordinate amount.

― Squirrel_Police (Squirrel_Police), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 02:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Queen Guenever to thread.

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Tuesday, 16 March 2004 02:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Hi, I'm Queen Guenever.

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Tuesday, 16 March 2004 02:46 (twenty-two years ago)

OK, all is well.

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Tuesday, 16 March 2004 02:46 (twenty-two years ago)

if we're splitting hairs, "impossible"? "inordinate amount"?

― the surface noise (electricsound), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 02:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Squirrel_Police knows the score.

― Andrew (enneff), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 03:06 (twenty-two years ago)

When I said "put up with shit" I meant just that - shit. Not "put up with things". I meant you dont put up with things which are unpleasant and make you unhappy. Of course we all compromise, we all put up with boys stinky socks and people not doing dishes and crap music tastes and etc, but if you feel bad about a partner being with other partners, or anything else major (abuse, drugs, money etc) then I would think you'd want to reassess.

Still this is getting off the topic somewhat.

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 03:09 (twenty-two years ago)

It's not something I would have a problem with. Once upon a time yes, but these days I really couldn't give a shit, as long as everyone is happy and are open and honest about it.

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 03:20 (twenty-two years ago)

It works for some and not for others. I'm in the former category and think it's excellent, provided that we're all on the same page about the relationship and where it's going and what we all need to be getting out of it and so forth and so on. No mind games, no bullshit. Just love and friendship and laughs.

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 09:19 (twenty-two years ago)

four years pass...

The "polyamorous" are some of the most disgusting savages around.

― Carrie Bradshaw Layfield (The stickman from the hilarious 'xkcd' comics), Tuesday, 14 October 2008 10:17 (seventeen years ago)

It's basically swingers who don't have enough money for a car key to throw into a central bowl.

― Carrie Bradshaw Layfield (The stickman from the hilarious 'xkcd' comics), Tuesday, 14 October 2008 10:17 (seventeen years ago)

Sudden ambush of self-awareness?

― Matt DC, Tuesday, 14 October 2008 10:23 (seventeen years ago)

Polly Amory? Lovely gal...

― Mark G, Tuesday, 14 October 2008 10:25 (seventeen years ago)

I heard about this quite recently, for the first time! It was news to me. I was quite shocked, by some of the things I heard in that conversation.

― the pinefox, Tuesday, 14 October 2008 11:45 (seventeen years ago)

I'd like to say I'm for this, but everyone who I've met who identifies as polyamorous have been complete douches about it.

― Eric H., Tuesday, 14 October 2008 11:51 (seventeen years ago)

Polly Amory? Lovely gal...

That is a nice name

― Ich Ber ein Binliner (Tom D.), Tuesday, 14 October 2008 11:57 (seventeen years ago)

I was once accidentally at a contract improv thing with a bunch of polyamorous people. I could have changed my name to Polly Armory. I made it very clear that there was an invisible electric fence around my body and no one was to get near me.

― Maria :D, Tuesday, 14 October 2008 13:05 (seventeen years ago)

Polyamory happens when a couple of people are together, but one or more thinks that they reallly can do better. So instead of ending the comfort of the relationship or at least the getting laid, they figure that they can hedge their bets by going poly.

― LJ OA UG IG SE RR (libcrypt), Tuesday, 14 October 2008 13:12 (seventeen years ago)

H were you there when we accidentally stumbled into a meeting of the "Polyamourous Society" upstairs at the Marquis of Lorne?

― S-, Friday, March 14, 2008 3:56 AM (7 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

haha

i know a couple of actual poly types - one in particular (trayce knows who this is) seems to be doing it pretty successfully

― electricsound, Friday, March 14, 2008 3:59 AM (7 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I think we got a few whistles as we obliviously ascended the stairs. It was full of crepey horny nerd types.

― S-, Friday, March 14, 2008 4:12 AM (7 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Actually maybe that was an ILX fap.

― S-, Friday, March 14, 2008 4:13 AM (7 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

was phil there

― electricsound, Friday, March 14, 2008 4:18 AM (7 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

joeks

― electricsound, Friday, March 14, 2008 4:18 AM (7 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

lol sash i remember you guys going on about that when you came back from it!

― haitch, Friday, March 14, 2008 4:25 AM (7 months ago) Bookmark

To surmise all the people there were creepy horny nerds.

― milling through the grinder, grinding through the mill (S-), Tuesday, 14 October 2008 14:03 (seventeen years ago)

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