Describe the most apocalyptically embarrassing, irreparably damaging worst-case social scenario that could ever possibly happen, specifically to yourself.

- (embarassing only in my mind) I'm at a bar bullshitting about Billy Idol and Generation X with some guy I barely knew (who'd just played "Kiss Me Deadly" on the jukebox), the massively-drunk girl I had a huge crush on at the time climbs in his lap and starts making out with him mid-sentence.

(A few hours later, after the bar is closed and the lights downstairs are off, she blew the manager/her boss while everyone stood at the railing and heckled. She remembered none of this afterward.)

When did you get a conscience? I'm disappointed!

i'm completely hammered and in the bathroom. i switch off the lights (the switch was not near the door) and then fumble around for the door handle. the room is completely dark and i now can't find the door handle or the light switch. i'm stumbling around and someone is knocking on the door as they want to use the facilities. i end up losing my balance and slamming backwards into the wall. there's a little shelf-unit holding a bunch of knick-knacks that falls off the nail it was hung on and slides down onto my back. a few things fall off and smash on the ground. but i've managed to catch this shelf thing on my back (picture me bent over at a 90 degree angle at the waist with my ass against the wall and this shelf thing on top of my backside.

the door to the bathroom opens and the light comes on to reveal to everyone my drunken self in this ridiculous spot.

new answers

Okay, let's say I'm at a super hot party and I start telling a super hot girl that I think she funki.

not me, but a someone close:

covering a small bathroom in sh1t at a good friend's house party (due to a mixture of upset stomach and alcohol). spreading everything everywhere with the towels, shower curtains, bath mat, etc in an attempt to clean up. leaving quickly before anyone finds out.

running into two girls from the party the next day at a local shop, while buying cleaning products and chocolates on the way over to the house. having them shout abuse ("you're a f*cking animal" was the opening gambit, across the shop) throughout the entire transaction, then having to follow them back to the house (from a distance of twenty yards) because the exact location of the house has been forgotten. and then the clean up, in front of all the guests from the night before.

I'd have just been like "hey, shit happens". And then emigrated to Australia...

Surprisingly, simultaneously sleeping with a roommate and one of her exes was NOT IT. Also, after putting up with a certain friend's drunken shit and vomit based adventures and remaining friends with that person, I have to come think one can recover from pretty much anything.

It kind of amazes me that people are capable of getting so drunk that they can shit everywhere/shit themselves. That's just beyond foul and incomprehensibly awful to me.

A friend of mine from college has several framed letters from various hotels banning him for life for that kind of thing.

Wkiw

He FRAMED them? Wow, I can't even fathom the shamelessness.

oh wow, that sounded so mean and judgmental. but i'd be so embarrassed!

Of the implausible, but possible ones? Caught in the glare of a police car's spotlight, urinating.

I kind of love how lecoq started this thread with the premise that its hypothetical, so any of the worst horriblest shit EVER that could happen to you - but his answer is "being mocked by a hot chick". o_0

It kind of amazes me that people are capable of getting so drunk that they can shit everywhere/shit themselves.

One xmas eve one of my best friends' brothers, who had flown back from his prestige capitalist job in Kuala Lumpur earlier that day, and who I'd been drinking with earlier that night, woke his parents up by collapsing against the toilet door (apparently nosily and repeatedly). When they finally managed to force the door open, his folks found him lying on the floor with his trousers round his ankles surrounded by a small lake of shit and piss and several broken picture frames. This was in the small hours of Christmas morning, mind. So, yeah, it happens.

i'm with trayce on this one. been as wasted as i can imagine getting and never come close to that sort of thing.

you guys have never heard of the Prune Juice Martini?

it'll get you real shit faced.

you're fired!

one of my friends had a one night stand, woke up in the middle of the night in *her* bed only to be surrounded by his own shit. So he wiped it up with the nearest thing he could find - her revision notes.

Haha I knew a guy at university who took his new girlfriend on an epic student pub crawl that ended up with him both vomiting and shitting in the bed with her in it. But at least it was his bed.

Also, accidentally hitting a woman in the face in front of a crowded room would be pretty awful.

Apocryphal shit and one night stand related story: Some girl, a possibly fictitious friend of a friend, slept with a guy she met in a pub or something. The next day he has to go to work early and tells her to let herself out of his flat. She goes for a massive dump and can't get the thing to flush, so, er, scoops it out with a plastic bag to dispose of later rather than leave a huge unladylike floater. Gets her stuff together, leaves his place... Then realises she's left the turd in a bag on the guy's kitchen table.

I want to remind people that this thread is asking for hypothetical examples specifically relating to yourself.

Since it happens in a movie it is by definition hypothetical at best, but personally the opening scene of "In Search of a Midnight Kiss" qualifies here, i.e. my best friend's girlfriend walking into my bedroom to be confronted with the sight of me masturbating to a photo that I myself photoshopped of her face on a supermodel's body.

I'm still perennially surprised that I've never, in all my years of *cough* maturity, been walked in on while masturbating.

i've been overheard :(

Since it happens in a movie it is by definition hypothetical at best, but personally the opening scene of "In Search of a Midnight Kiss" qualifies here, i.e. my best friend's girlfriend walking into my bedroom to be confronted with the sight of me masturbating to a photo that I myself photoshopped of her face on a supermodel's body.

Any hypothetical situation along these lines that does not then include the line "do you want any help with that?" is a waste of a good hypothesis.

(Which admittedly wouldn't make it very embarrassing but probably more fun)