Boris Johnson - capital wheeze or intolerable buffoon?

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Go on. You knew it was coming.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 09:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Both!

Next!

― Sarah (starry), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 09:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Matt, he was playing table football in the pub under us on Thursday afternoon. Talk about bizarre.

― suzy (suzy), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 09:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually I have more proof on this but there is not enough space to write it here (ie I am going for a meeting!!!)

― Sarah (starry), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 09:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Boris Johnson was in a pub frequented by dope-smoking motorbike couriers?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 10:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Correct. When I told Ed, he said BJ wouldn't have hassle from them because of his social libertarianism and support for cyclist issues, despite evil Toryness etc. At any rate he was there during a courier-free period.

Since even bad Tories can be funny on the spot and really know their Classics, he's got some redeeming qualities.

― suzy (suzy), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 10:06 (twenty-one years ago)

he seems to have lost weight, he looked at least ten years younger (than he did ten years ago) on that John Wheeler documentary last night

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 10:18 (twenty-one years ago)

My brother used to work at the Telegraph and saw quite a bit of Boris Johnson around the office. His act is not an act, apparently.

― Jonathan Z. (Joanthan Z.), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 10:20 (twenty-one years ago)

I SO wish the millennial NYE pic of The Guvner in Mrs Michael Jones' fluffy white hat existed somewhere on the interweb.

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 10:50 (twenty-one years ago)

you'd be a dead man if it did I bet

― chris (chris), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 10:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh. My. God. I can see it in my mind's eye.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 10:55 (twenty-one years ago)

My work here is done.

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 10:57 (twenty-one years ago)

What RickyT said.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 11:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Charles Wheeler, steve.

i quite like boris, for a tory...

― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 11:31 (twenty-one years ago)

also:

http://www.geocities.com/carsmilesteve/summerwasting/borisbilly.jpg

― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 11:31 (twenty-one years ago)

err, your picture there is *gone"

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 11:33 (twenty-one years ago)

??
i can see it...

― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 11:37 (twenty-one years ago)

That's not the real BJ, is it?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 11:43 (twenty-one years ago)

said the actress to the bishop

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 11:52 (twenty-one years ago)

It's geocities, so take off the .jpg

― Ricardo (RickyT), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 11:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Suggs has looked better.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 11:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Flamin' Nora. Ooh that hat looks good. Where are they, the Cropredy Festival or summat?

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 11:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Glastonbury, by the looks of things

― Ricardo (RickyT), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 12:00 (twenty-one years ago)

It would be funnier if it were folk.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 12:01 (twenty-one years ago)

I thought it was the Tolpuddle Festival...

― Dave B (daveb), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 12:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh god, you make me regret ever bringing him up... oh, the shame! This is worse than having to admit my salary!

― Psycho Kate (kate), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 13:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Hang on a minute.... YOU FANCY BORIS JOHNSON?!!!

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 13:46 (twenty-one years ago)

?????!!!!!?!?!!!!!!!

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 13:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Crush of shame!

― Johnney B (Johnney B), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:30 (twenty-one years ago)

it's the indie barnet isn't it?

― ..., Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Kate, I bow down. Never again will I be embarrassed by fancying Melvin Bragg.

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:37 (twenty-one years ago)

William Hague is so last week, now BORIS JOHNSON BUKKAKE is on everyone's lips

have a GREAT day everyone!

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh no. You've just reminded me of a horrible conversation from last night.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:38 (twenty-one years ago)

the only thing i want to put into his mouth is an apple in that top picture

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:39 (twenty-one years ago)

When I was six, I had a wheeze. I had noticed that gumboots were impermeable to water from the outside, and deduced that they must also be impermeable from the inside. So my younger sister and I decided to fill up all the gumboots in the hall with water, and then watch some adult putting his or her foot in it.

The scheme was a triumph, and we were pursued around the garden by an adult armed with a stick - I am not exaggerating - as thick as your arm. We knew it would hurt; we knew we were for it in a big way. But our very terror reduced us to helpless and invertebrate laughter.

We both laughed so much that we couldn't run, and we sank to the grass at the bottom of the garden and were soundly and deservedly thrashed.

This is how he begins his column on the Passion of the Christ, the rest of which I can't be bothered to read. I get the feeling that if Boris was a cuddly liberal he would be my favourite person ever. Surely no one else still uses the phrase "humbug" in everyday discourse?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:40 (twenty-one years ago)

bar the President of Nestle Rowntree you may be right

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:41 (twenty-one years ago)

that would make a great advert for not beating your kids tho. DON'T TRY IT, OR THEY WILL END UP LIKE BORIS

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes Matt. I really want to like him, but the evil Toryness gets me every time.

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:43 (twenty-one years ago)

so we're agreed - he is a capital buffoon with an intolerable wheeze

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:45 (twenty-one years ago)

i secretly quite like him in spite of his toyness.

(i would have written that in small writing to show my shame but am not sure if we're allowed to do such html tricks anymore.)

― toby (tsg20), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:46 (twenty-one years ago)

err i mean toryness. ahem.

― toby (tsg20), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:46 (twenty-one years ago)

His Room 101 episode was great.

― Archel (Archel), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Anna OTM. Funny though he can be, I suspect he will wind up like that loathsome reactionary art critic, arg, I've forgotten his name, the one w/thee flutey voice, as he gets older.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Do you think we could kidnap him, brainwash him to be a cuddly liberal and then launch him back into society, fit to be a national treasure?

Pash: Brian Sewell?

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:49 (twenty-one years ago)

brian sewell, ugh, yes.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Brian Sewell

he laughs like an effeminate schoolboy when he says bum or tits

― pete s, Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:50 (twenty-one years ago)

he is HORRIBLE.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:51 (twenty-one years ago)

don't start with the Sewell.

I really want to fight him.

― chris (chris), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:52 (twenty-one years ago)

not to mention the biggest rockist in history

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:52 (twenty-one years ago)

I've seen a copy of Sewell's first book
It was about his travels
On the inside back cover, in his biog underneath all the life story stuff it said 'Brian Sewell lives with thre cats, and is a misogynist'.
I am not joking. This is what he asked his publisher to put on the jacket.

― pete s, Tuesday, 23 March 2004 14:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 266 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Sorry, I've finally removed the spam now.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Friday, 10 March 2006 16:14 (twenty years ago)

apologies for causing offence with the fievel pic - posted after i saw the pfeffel quote, without reading the rest of the thread, thus it wasn't meant as a comment upon/contribution to what happened to the thread, but rather just because the name 'pfeffer' struck me as odd.

its been a long year...

― i am not a nugget (stevie), Friday, 10 March 2006 16:47 (twenty years ago)

'pfeffel'.

i go now.

― i am not a nugget (stevie), Friday, 10 March 2006 16:48 (twenty years ago)

one month passes...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/4970948.stm

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Thursday, 4 May 2006 06:04 (nineteen years ago)

So what are his views on the public sector, the crime rate and immigration on this election day?

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 4 May 2006 06:46 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/graphics/2006/05/04/nboris04.jpg

― Johnny B Was Quizzical (Johnney B), Thursday, 4 May 2006 06:55 (nineteen years ago)

Xpost

He's not allowed to say until the polls close. You've gotta love the Representation of the People Act .

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Thursday, 4 May 2006 07:01 (nineteen years ago)

lol richard ashcroft amirite?

― the Enrique who acts like some kind of good taste gestapo (Enrique), Thursday, 4 May 2006 07:05 (nineteen years ago)

I am unsure of Mr Johnson's views on 1974-style soft rock.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 4 May 2006 07:20 (nineteen years ago)

He says the Clash are jolly good, if I remember correctly.

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 4 May 2006 07:24 (nineteen years ago)

Richard Ashcroft was playing for England. Boris is flattening Maurizio Gaudino, sometime Man City star, who was once accused of leading a gang of stolen-goods handlers.

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Thursday, 4 May 2006 07:25 (nineteen years ago)

that was an amazing tackle

― Ste (Fuzzy), Thursday, 4 May 2006 07:26 (nineteen years ago)

No doubt Arsene Wenger would say he didn't see the incident.

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Thursday, 4 May 2006 07:27 (nineteen years ago)

Most entertaining bit of footy I've seen in a while, that. And Boris Johnson was much more use than Richard Ashcroft last night.
John Barnes has turned into Mr Greedy.

― David Orton (scarlet), Thursday, 4 May 2006 08:29 (nineteen years ago)

the power of the internet

moving images

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWIUp19bBoA

― secondhandnews (secondhandnews), Thursday, 4 May 2006 10:27 (nineteen years ago)

I haven't been able to stop playing that video. This may well be the funniest thing I have EVER seen.

― Johnny B Was Quizzical (Johnney B), Thursday, 4 May 2006 10:51 (nineteen years ago)

he reminds me more than ever of the Honey Monster.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Thursday, 4 May 2006 10:53 (nineteen years ago)

Did he get sent off?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 4 May 2006 10:54 (nineteen years ago)

So... tolerable buffoon it would appear?

― Vitbe... *pause*... Is Good Bread (Dada), Thursday, 4 May 2006 10:57 (nineteen years ago)

Is this going to upset a football hating Boris Johnson lover?

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Thursday, 4 May 2006 11:02 (nineteen years ago)

no i think Petronella Wyatt will be okay with it.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Thursday, 4 May 2006 11:04 (nineteen years ago)

And Anna Fazackerley?

― Vitbe... *pause*... Is Good Bread (Dada), Thursday, 4 May 2006 11:06 (nineteen years ago)

Best of all is the OH HEAVENS! gesture when BJ sees the German crumpled over his ain groinage in agony.

― suzy (suzy), Thursday, 4 May 2006 11:11 (nineteen years ago)

Playing that German onside for the 4th goal was the bigger crime in my book

― Vitbe... *pause*... Is Good Bread (Dada), Thursday, 4 May 2006 11:14 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2006/05/04/nboris04.xml

"There was no malice in my actions. I was going for the ball with my head, which I understand is a legitimate move."

Er, the ball was on thr ground Boris...

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Thursday, 4 May 2006 11:17 (nineteen years ago)

"I was going for the balls with my head"

― Vitbe... *pause*... Is Good Bread (Dada), Thursday, 4 May 2006 11:20 (nineteen years ago)

a little reminiscent of Boli vs Psycho.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Thursday, 4 May 2006 11:22 (nineteen years ago)

"There was no malice in my actions. I was going for the ball with my head, which I understand is a legitimate move."

Haw haw. It reminds me of the interview with his father, where he's driving up towards a roundabout.

Father Johnson: "Now my wife has a theory about these things, never can remember it, of course it's the other way around in Belgium..." (pulls out into three lanes of oncoming traffic)

Interviewer: "Is it, er, 'yield to the right'?"

Father Johnson: (bangs steering wheel) "That's it exactly!" (waves a general thank you to the cars that have emergency stopped around him)

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 4 May 2006 11:34 (nineteen years ago)

This short quote from a recent piece by him about falling off his bike in the Guardian shows what I find most irritating about him:

"I went for a terrific burton, winding up for a couple of hours in Guy's & St Thomas's (marvellous, marvellous) and with my beautiful £700 bike all bent out of shape."

It's that "marvellous, marvellous" that's so annoying. It's so offhand, insincere, insulting - "I've just mentioned an NHS hospital, so I'd better say something good about it, but I can't be bothered (or haven't the capacity) to do it properly".

Everything about him says it's politics as a game, an extention of the Debating Society at school (Eton, Oxbridge, what next? oh Westminster looks fun). He'll always be described as a great character but wtf will he ever do to improve the lives of his constituents?

Having said that, I'd rather sit next to him at a dinner party than Ruth Kelly, just so long as I could keep him off politics

― bham (bham), Thursday, 4 May 2006 13:29 (nineteen years ago)

I dunno, he looks like the kind of guy who might spit his food about.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Thursday, 4 May 2006 14:02 (nineteen years ago)

four months pass...

Now Boris offends all of Papua New Guinea.

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Friday, 8 September 2006 15:19 (nineteen years ago)

Further and further towards the intolerable buffoon stage.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 8 September 2006 15:28 (nineteen years ago)

Patronising apology, ugh

"I meant no insult to the people of Papua New Guinea who I'm sure lead lives of blameless bourgeois domesticity in common with the rest of us.

"My remarks were inspired by a Time Life book I have which does indeed show relatively recent photos of Papua New Guinean tribes engaged in warfare, and I'm fairly certain that cannibalism was involved.

"I'd be happy to show the book to the High Commissioner but I'm of course also very happy to take up her kind invite and add Papua New Guinea to my global itinerary of apology."

― beanz (beanz), Friday, 8 September 2006 15:31 (nineteen years ago)

Bwah hah hah, oh come on...

"I meant no insult to the people of Papua New Guinea who I'm sure lead lives of blameless bourgeois domesticity in common with the rest of us.

That's more of a backhanded insult than comparing them to Tories!

― Angel In Love With Her Own Pedals (kate), Friday, 8 September 2006 15:31 (nineteen years ago)

Some of us here in the UK are cannibals too, bet he never thought of that

― beanz (beanz), Friday, 8 September 2006 15:37 (nineteen years ago)

three weeks pass...

Good old BoJo back at it again... http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/5402100.stm still at least it's funny when he's not in government.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Tuesday, 3 October 2006 11:42 (nineteen years ago)

"I say let people eat what they like. Why shouldn't they push pies through the railings?,"

okay i love this part.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Tuesday, 3 October 2006 12:06 (nineteen years ago)

errr but he would ban sweets? fucking nazi.

― the classic sounds of the seventh of january 1998 (Enrique), Tuesday, 3 October 2006 12:10 (nineteen years ago)

Oh, that loveable old pie-eater. He's right you know. If he wants to bounce his children around in the front of his sportscar while he pays as much regard to traffic regulations as his father, well, less future Tories that way!

Wait, did I say that? Argh! No! How awful. Wait, never apologise, never explain. I said just that and I'm sticking to it.

― Virginia Plainsong (kate), Tuesday, 3 October 2006 12:20 (nineteen years ago)

At least Boris always makes me smile:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/5405498.stm

― Three In A Bed Socks Romp (kate), Wednesday, 4 October 2006 11:59 (nineteen years ago)

see, i don't want my elected representatives - or even other people's elected representatives - to make me smile, or be "fun". i want them to have great ideas to make the UK a better place.

that, admittedly, is a lot to ask. so most of the time i'd settle for them not being utter, utter tossbags. sadly - sorry, kate! - oor bozza fails spectacularly on that front too :)

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Wednesday, 4 October 2006 17:01 (nineteen years ago)

he needs to get out of politics and stick to TV presenting.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Wednesday, 4 October 2006 17:05 (nineteen years ago)

only problem with that is that even more people might listen to his drivelly outpourings and take them seriously :(

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Wednesday, 4 October 2006 17:06 (nineteen years ago)

but yes, it'd be a start.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Wednesday, 4 October 2006 17:06 (nineteen years ago)

three months pass...

" I'll tell you why women are running out of men to marry..."

My favorite bit:

Speaking as an ardent feminist

Which inevitably makes me think of Neil's dad on The Young Ones explaining why he wants to care for Felicity Kendall.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 2 February 2007 18:25 (nineteen years ago)

God, what a depressing article.

A recent study shows that if a man's IQ rises by 16 points, his chances of marrying increase by 35 per cent; if a woman's IQ rises by 16 points, her chances of getting hitched decline by the same amount.

What on earth is he proposing to do about it, though?

― I Am Totally Radioactive! (kate), Friday, 2 February 2007 18:29 (nineteen years ago)

Have as many mistresses as possible, so he can impregnate all us rising-40 middle class educated ladies who haven't found husbands?

― I Am Totally Radioactive! (kate), Friday, 2 February 2007 18:29 (nineteen years ago)

This is the idiot MP who was all about computer games rotting your BRANE, right?

― kingfishy (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 2 February 2007 18:30 (nineteen years ago)

five months pass...

So another four years of Ken, then.

― Hello Sunshine, Monday, 16 July 2007 09:02 (eighteen years ago)

Ken vs. Boris: It's So On

― That one guy that hit it and quit it, Monday, 16 July 2007 09:13 (eighteen years ago)

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