Worst Movies Ever!

Of the first sort I have a really soft spot for Stigmata. Getting posessed by post is one of the funniest ideas ever brought up - as is Jesus' gospel written between the Last Supper and The Crucifixtion. Why is it so heretical, well it fundamentally reads "Be excellent to one another".

There's an "Emmanuelle" film with a scene where our heroine and her swarthy bloke are watching a chimpanzee smoke a cigarette. They're look of benign amusement is astonishing to behold. There's not enough proper shagging, either.

Any thoughts?

Worst movie , One Trick Pony - Pauls SImons vanity peice.

I cannot stand Pretty Woman. Saw it once on video, oo ages ago, and it made me very angry indeed.

What grates the most about The Thin Red Line - notwithstanding its astoundingly tedious length - is that it is trying to make BIG STATEMENTS WITH BUTTERFLIES. I've never trusted big statements about butterflies when I realised that love was infact not like a butterfly, but much more like a moth - in as much as it destroys your clothes.

As I said above, this whole bad movies thing is a misnomer. Most of the movies stated above are mediocre at best. We never get to see the truly bad ones. People - understand the difference between taste and technical ability. Yes you may not like Pulp Fiction but does that make it a bad movie? No. It is is technically a pretty good movie - over ambitious and too flashy in its narrative build up and pretty soulless - but I'm not sure that it can be faulted too much technically. At least Plan 9 you can say is poorly acted, written and the special effects are risable.

After all is a movie bad if it does exactly what it sets out to do. You are supposed to laugh at the anachronisms in a Knights Tale. That is one of the reasons they are there. If a film is meant to look silly, then if it suceeds is it a failure?

Pete, you really think that was the point of Knight's Tale? I haven't seen the whole film but I got the impression they didn't fuck up the historical details on purpose.

A bad movie site I recommend is the most entertaining Jabootu -- the lead writer is an entertainingly crabby sort with world views not too removed from Dave Q, but to his credit those don't get in the way of his shredding of crapulousness, or so I think.

"Coleman Francis is Curly Howard in 'The Fugitive!'"

that, and only 31% punXoR. for shame.

Do y'mean Videodrome, Omar?

Invasion of the Gabba Robots! YAY!

The Critic Lives.

There's an "Emmanuelle" film with a scene where our heroine and her swarthy bloke are watching a chimpanzee smoke a cigarette. They're look of benign amusement is astonishing to behold. There's not enough proper shagging, either.

Any thoughts?

― Markx, Tuesday, October 23, 2001 1:00 AM (7 years ago) Bookmark

i was just going to post on this,its Emmanuel and the last cannibals. I actually picked this up this week as the nico fidenco soundtrack is unbelievebly good. The film is not, barely even worth the gig on my hard drive for the shags and gore at the end and is the worst ive seen in a long long time

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092297/

Zombie Nightmare, starring Jon Mikl Thor and Adam West.

A bunch of young punks (who are generally rubbish at being young punks) run over Thor and kill him. A local shopkeeper immediately phones an ambulance uh phones the police em takes him to hospital erm... TAKES HIM HOME TO HIS MUM WHO SUMMONS THE VOODOO PRIESTESS WHO LIVES A COUPLE OF DOORS DOWN TO BRING HIM TO LIFE! All Canadian suburbs should have a voodoo priestess.

Thor then spends the rest of the film walking around very slowly and wielding a baseball bat and trying to kill all the young punks who were in the car. The young punks do young punky stuff like go for ice cream and throw spaghetti at their mums.

Adam West makes an appearance as a local cop and fails to salvage anything.

The soundtrack's not bad, though they seem to just STOP THE ENTIRE FILM to play each song. The plot (what there is of it) just STOPS and we're treated to a 3 minute shot of a car driving down a straight road while they get another bit of soundtrack out of the way.

This got the MST3K So Bad It's Funny treatment, but it's actually just plain old So Bad Don't Watch It.

seen any terrible movies lately?

not really. the worst film i've ever seen, though, is Inception.

Stoker was pretty bad; there is absolutely no reason a movie like that needs to be made in 2013.

I personally never like Pulp Fiction...it drags along at the pace of a snail...blood, swearing, killing, rape...*yawn*.

OG challoppin, nice

kaboom. literal worst movie ever.

I always get Shark Attack 2 mixed up with Shark Attack 3, but one of them.

Pieta, which won the Golden Lion last year, is pure crap. Boringly filmed, filled with heavy and dull symbolism (just check the name...), the violent scenes are hardly that shocking, and the plot is just dumb. Who is this woman? Well, it's pretty damn obvious from the start, and yet the main character misses it even though it's spelled out for him. Twice.

It's not quite as bad as 90 Minutes though, a Norwegian movie about misogony. It's just three men being violent to women, nothing more, nothing less. It's filmed very beautifully, but then the score is grotesquely heavyhanded and kitschy. The press material claimed that the stories lasted 90 Minutes, which is obviously wrong (the film has no sense of time...), and it also claimed to be important because Norway was the country in Europe where most women were killed by their spouses, which turned out to be wrong as well. It's just bizarre. The cinematographer has massive potential, and the female director seems pretty brave, but it's just so badly concieved, it's just pure crap.

Incendies got blanket rave reviews and I thought it was pure rinse. I stopped watching in some scene where Radiohead started soundtracking some slow motion sufferage images, to convey the angst of living in the Middle East. I might be unfair but I couldn't take the film seriously after that point.

Everything I've seen this summer has been too boring to call bad.

Was sort of relieved during After Earth that it wasn't "exciting."

Movie 43 looks fascinatingly terrible, more from a 'how did it ever get made' angle than anything else.

old-old-ilx was kinda clueless eh

not really. the worst film i've ever seen, though, is Inception.

― the strange and important sound of the synthesizer (Treeship), Sunday, June 2, 2013 1:19 AM (17 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Nice effort but if you're gonna troll you gotta go harder than that.

inception is really shit, thought there was broad agreement there

envy anyone who's never seen a worse film tho

inception finished #3 in ilx's action films poll fwiw, a great picture.

inception was really abysmal, in my view, and was my least pleasurable movie theater experience ever. i remember thinking that nolan wasn't interested in what dreams are actually like -- a fascinating subject -- but just used them as a parallel-worlds plot device, and this annoyed me. i had an argument about the movie after i saw it with my then girlfriend, because she couldn't believe i could "hate" it and thought i was being a dick. awful.

worst movie i've ever seen is either the larry david woody allen movie or s1m0ne. the latter isn't very old but i don't think it could be made now. people know too much about computers.

hah, the larry david woody allen movie. i couldn't finish it! love how larry david was not the only actor in this to do the universal face that means "I'm trying to remember my lines" (look up and left). that must be the best example of a woody allen movie where he was too preoccupied with catching a baketball game to take the time to reshoot shitty scenes.

Inception was far more interesting as a one-page treatment than as a movie. It didn't matter to me that the many different levels required mental effort to keep straight or that its premise was twenty kinds of impossible. Movies are allowed those liberties.

What mattered to me was that, when you stripped out all the gaudy sci-fi elements, the essential human story of the film was revealed to be weak, watered-down melodramatic garbage, told using cliches so toothmarked and abused they resembled a dog's discarded chew toy.

Good effects, tho.

evan rachel wood having to lounge around giving larrywoody doe eyes and calling him a genius while he vomits underwritten abuse at her for 90mins was a thousand times worse than anything that has ever happened to isabella rosselini

oh ya. if the misanthrope character had witty lines it could have helped but add that grating "dumb country girl" cliché + using larry david as an imitator instead of using his strengths... nothing worked in this so i bounced

Yeah, Inception wasn't about dreams. For some reason this pissed off a lot of people. Also, I took the essential human story of the film to be Cobb learning to lie better to himself. It becomes a much greater, and more cynical, film if you see it like that.

The worst movie I've ever seen is Nigel Tomm's avant-garde film Waiting for Godot, which is just seventy minutes of a plain green screen and no sound. Has nothing to do with the Samuel Beckett classic except the title. Watch it in full here.

is new m. night battlefield redux the worst reviewed movie since last m. night debacle where he ruined a wonderful cartoon?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/31/after-earth-reviews_n_3368040.html

thanks for that link mr. snrub

The worst movie I've ever seen is Nigel Tomm's avant-garde film Waiting for Godot, which is just seventy minutes of a plain green screen and no sound. Has nothing to do with the Samuel Beckett classic except the title. Watch it in full here.

― Mr. Snrub, Sunday, June 2, 2013 8:59 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

lol http://nigeltomm.us/moviesvideos/

you have to admit that his choice of magenta for "the brothers karamazov" is inspired

The only movies I've ever walked out on at the theatre was Forces of Nature (Ben Affleck + Sandra Bullock)... And Blankman

Again and again you'd need to sit ppl down and say be srs about what 'worst movie' gets to mean

http://thedissolve.com/features/exposition/272-the-cinemascore-f-estival/

Considering polling the 8 movies that F'd on CinemaScore.

Solaris
Killing Them Softly
Bug
Wolf Creek
Darkness
The Box
The Devil Inside
Silent House

(So many horror movies.)

there's a new golden turkey type book out? (not by the Medveds)

Wolf Creek may be my favourite horror of the last ten years.

xp there is? news to me unless you're talking about the making-of tell-all about The Room.

this is it, by a Film Threat guy. He included Mystic River.

http://blogcritics.org/book-review-the-greatest-bad-movies-of-all-time-by-phil-hall/

I was thinking about Gandolfini in 'Killing Them Softly' the other day in the context of genuinely scary movie performances/characters.

isn't he closer to pathetic?

That too, I guess, but watching the film I got this vivid reminder of various times I'd been around these drunk falling-apart guys with this atmosphere of sluggish, unfocused anger hanging around them, and there was always this sense that at any second the rage would suddenly focus and they would put someone's head through a window or something?

I don't know, I can't explain it very well, but it felt familiar and creepy.

he seemed like he was gonna put his own head through a window.

The first 3 films on that F list are at least partial successes to me, esp Solaris. You can certainly understand why Upbeat America wd hate em tho.

Really struggling to figure out what people who willfully went to, say, a Wolf Creek ended up getting so offended by to give it an F.

can't decide which Nic Cage film i wd give this award to

the first four of those are genuinely good! tbh I remember The Box being a disaster but a weirdly watchable one

Musto:

http://theblot.com/winners-worst-picture-actor-actress-time-7714864

WORST DIALOGUE

In the ludicrous drama “Female on the Beach” (1955), sultry Jeff Chandler asks love interest Joan Crawford, “How do you like your coffee?” Replies Joan: “Alone!”

:D

the Leslie Uggams moment her refers to is here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MkHsFA2LS60