South Carolina Is Better Than The Rest Of The World!

http://enquirer.com/editions/2001/09/29/ewing_zoom.jpg

I live in Greenville, SC, and every time my family travels to North Carolina to visit relatives we have to pass that.

Benson Mule Days
http://www.ncfestivals.com/logos/benson_mule_days_logo.jpg

Speaking of Kudzu, I was a volunteer on the set of a local production called "Kudzula", about a monster made out of kudzu.

"This ain't no ordinary mobile home. No sir, this here's a double-wide."

'Ain't nothin' too good fer yew, baybee.'

"You gone take me to the crick liken you promised, Uncle Harmony?" asked Mae Tagg sweetly.

Harmony paused to emit a small, tight arc of tobacco juice into a Styrofoam cup resting by his feet on the porch.

"Might could do," he said, looking lasciviously at his niece. "Might could do indeed."

Although he had raised her as his own daughter since her mother had succumbed to the pellagra seven years ago, Harmony couldn't help but notice how Mae Tagg's firm, pert 13-year-old breasts were starting to blossom like the first kudzu of the summertime. Harmony’s sister had named the child after her washing machine, because it was "the only damn dependable thing in the house." (This evaluation was swiftly proved correct when Mae Tagg's father ran off with the assistant manager of the local Sack'n'Save, who, despite the mild retardation that is often found among the product of two first cousins, was generally agreed to be the town beauty.)

"Whyn't you go on in there and get on you suit? You Uncle gone teach you a few things about gettin' wet."

"The night the Kudzu gets your fields you sleep like the dead." --famously drunk-ass poet James Dickey

ChristianExodus.org is coordinating the move of thousands of Christians to South Carolina for the express purpose of re-establishing Godly, constitutional government. It is evident that the U.S. Constitution has been abandoned under our current federal system, and the efforts of Christian activism to restore our Godly republic have proven futile over the past three decades. The time has come for Christians to withdraw our consent from the current federal government and re-establish the sovereign nation of South Carolina upon the Christian principles once so predominant in America.

It's not your fault you're not my hero
It's not your fault I can't make it clear enough
It's not your fault at all
Do do do

Break off my jaw
Scrape off my teeth
Pull off my leg
Drop off my load

For a quarter, you can give him a quarter
You can go into town with no reason to have an erection
I like your tatoo depiction
South Carolina

Because I've been dying
And I've been trying
For ways to get through
Days to get through

And I chew my grass
Just my grass
My grass, my grass, my grass, my...
Do do do

Do do do

South Carolina
Carolina
Carolina
South Carolina

Because I've been searching for you
I've been praying for you
I've been saying for you
I've been waiting for you

South Carolina

Do do do
Do do do

I hope I don't die here.

(x-post)

that place you mentioned (South of the Border) does indeed rule.

Charleston, or at least the eye-catching parts of it, is hands down the prettiest city in the United States (the non-eye-catching parts, and there are plenty of them, not so much).

Some storms there, though. A tornado hit Myrtle Beach while we were there. We huddled in the hotel room closet while it took big 6-by-6 pieces of roof off the place across the street and blew out all the windows in all the cars in some of the big hotel parking lots. Then a few years later (on the honeymoon) there was another storm and a huge live oak across the street from our bed and breakfast got split in half by lightning. But we went to Pawley's Island last fall with no meteorological mishaps. It may well be a better place to visit than live, but it sure is a nice place to visit.

NOT during may, unless you like hanging out with drunk college students

"bo-furt"

I've visited in July and October. July's not too bad -- hot and sticky, yes, but if you're staying beachside that's OK because you have the ocean. October was lovely, though -- the beaches were pretty empty, but we happened to catch a 70-plus-degree weekend and the water was still warm enough for wading. Plus the rentals are a lot cheaper after Labor Day.

My favorite thing about South carolina though is people with Gamecocks shirts that just say "Cocks".

http://charleston.net/news/qoltfreport_files/image002.jpg

and yet, it's that other flag that gets all of the attention.

What do I remember the most as a five year old visitor to SC? Learning to read...

http://www.roadsideamerica.com/attract/images/sc/SCDILbillbd1.jpg

While the offensive "Mexican-speak" billboards are apparently gone, I remember them so well, and waiting so anxiously there in the way-back, peering forward over my sister's shoulder for the next sign, to pronounce every syllable.

Yes, the flag is gorgeous.

So the second or third day we were there, we were walking through the parking lot and heard a moaning noise. We looked around and found an elderly woman sitting on the asphalt surrounded by shopping bags with blood running down from her nose. We ran up to her and asked if she was OK, and she said she'd had a dizzy spell, which she got periodically, and had to sit down. We got her some tissues from somewhere for her nose and helped her up. She was staying in a room on the ground floor, so we helped her in and brought the groceries. Then we sat there for a few minutes to make sure she was OK. We asked if she wanted us to call anybody, but she said she was fine and the people in the motel office would take care of her if she needed them to. It eventually became clear that she actually lived there (she had a two-room suite with a kitchenette) and that, in fact, her late husband used to own the place. He had sold it many years back, before he died, but she still spent half the year living there under an agreement with the new owner. And, as it turned out, her name was Arizona. Her husband named the hotel after her. (there was an explanation for her name, too, but I forget it...she was either born there or her family had some other connection to the state.) They had owned and run the place together from the '60s into the '90s. So there we were in Arizona's room at the Arizona Inn. A mystery solved. We chatted a little more. She offered us food, but we told her we were getting ready to go swimming. We saw her the next day in the parking lot and waved.

The Arizona seems to be still alive and well. I hope Arizona is too.

Huzzah! Is Columbia on the list this time? Btw, I'm finally a happy owner of We shall all be healed and it is damn fine, sir, damn fine, indeed.

More entertaining than Orange County!

Assistant Attorney General Roland Corning Caught With Stripper

A former South Carolina legislator and assistant attorney general has resigned from the state prosecutor’s office after authorities say he was discovered in a cemetery with a stripper.

Police reports released Wednesday that 66-year-old Roland Corning was stopped Monday after his car was spotted in an area police say is known for sex.

Police say an 18-year-old woman who works at a strip club was with Corning.

Police also found Viagra and sex toys that Corning said were there “just in case.“ Click here to read the full report. Some users may find some of the report offensive.

Corning identified himself as an assistant attorney general and was not arrested. Columbia Police Chief Tandy Carter says Corning was released because no crime was witnessed. “The gentleman provided all the necessary information. He also gave consent to search. The officer searched the vehicle, didn’t find anything of a criminal nature or anything illegal and after that was over with, he was released,“ Carter said. The Chief said Corning was stopped because he had driven off quickly when he saw the officer.

Attorney General Henry McMaster said Wednesday that Corning no longer worked there. “He was given the option. We gave him the option to resign. He resigned, close of business on Monday,“ McMaster told reporters.

Corning was a state legislator in the 1990s.

He has worked in the top prosecutor’s office since 2000
There was no answer at a number listed for Corning.

I used to live in Greenville... my claim to fame is that I worked at the Ryan's on Laurens Road. Woo.
― luna (luna.c), Friday, March 26, 2004 1:41 PM

whatttttttt

also i have 2 (two) cocks shirts and i don't even give a shit about usc. i was visiting a friend in cola and thought it was funny and bought one and then she gave me another one for christmas. i never wear them.

oh man the actual report only contains one detail not in the news story, but it's a good'n

lmao that they are still pulling this shit!

******* ***** It seems Greenville hasn't changed much since I left. Schools are out early on account of snow. In the forecast. For this evening.

Woman hanged nephew's 'devil dog' from tree before burning it after it chewed her Bible

A US woman has been charged with animal cruelty after allegedly hanging her nephew's pit bull from a tree with an electrical cord and burning its body after it chewed on her Bible.

Animal control officers said that 65-year-old Miriam Smith told them she killed a female dog named Diamond because it was a 'devil dog' and she worried it could harm neighbourhood children.

Smith's nephew left the one-year-old animal at the home he shared with his aunt during the recent winter weather while he went away.

When he returned, he could find no trace of the dog and assumed she had broken the chain where she was usually tied at the front porch of the house.

An environmental enforcement officer came across the dog's body under a mound of dried grass, stinking of kerosene.

The dog had an orange extension cord wrapped tightly around its neck and its body was partially burned.

Authorities said bail was not immediately set for Smith, who remains jailed in Spartanburg County, South Carolina after her weekend arrest.

yeesh

This state has really had a crappy year.