The Kids Request

Second, of course we'll fix your car. You need to call the office of your U.S. Senator and arrange everything with his chief of staff. They're very busy, but they have to take your call, so don't take no for an answer. Take yes for an answer. At worst take a consolation prize in cash or merchandise valued at over $500.

Third, are you a policeman? Because most policemen drive Crown Vics. We know this. Do not try to hide your true identity.

Fourth, in order to have your ride pimped, you must agree to the subcranial microchip implantation for yourself as well as your infernal progeny. Will you agree to this?

Thank you for your consideration of our generous offers and shit.

http://www.phunsites.ch/images/dvds/action/virtuosity.jpg

Thank you for your quick response.

First, we never suggest talking to children about gangs. It will only give them ideas. Ideas are the last thing children need. Only talk to them about drugs and oral sex. We're experts and therefore know all about these things.

Second, as we coordinate all our scheduling through the office of the chief of staff of your U.S. Senator, it's imperative that you contact them. Again, do not take no for an answer. Do not take know for an answer either. This is critical. But not of you personally.

Third, we have our doubts, I'm sorry, but there it is.

Fourth, the implants are not expensive and you'll find they help you find lost articles like car keys, etc. You really should try it. I love mine.

Again, thanks for your help and support during this difficult time.

*bites on tongue*

*coughs*

*reaches for cough drops*

*exits room*

"Women make the majority of purchases and household decisions, so it's no surprise that they are utilizing the Internet as a tool for daily living," Cassar said.

internet in furthering traditional gender roles shocka

also, did they really need to use the phrase "Internet Penetration"?

I miss our talks. I feel we've grown apart somehow. Children often destroy great relationships: especially when they're addicted to drugs and oral sex. And gangs. Especially when they're in sex gangs.

Hey, tell you what. Remember that old hoopty of yours? The '89 Crown Vic? Look, why don't you bring it around and we'll fix it up for you. On the house. We don't have to tell the Senator a thing. He's so out of touch now anyway, it's pathetic. Amazing how someone so vital, so dynamic can turn into a limp asparagus after just 11 terms in the Senate. Let that be a lesson to us all, I say.

Can I be totally honest with you for a minute? I know this will hurt, but your wife is all wrong for you. She's sided with the kids against you. She's the real reason you're going to prison. Told you it would hurt, but it's for your own good.

I'm just sorry it didn't work out between us. Know what I mean?