You're the chamomile tea in my coffee world

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Can I borrow a feeling?

Write a markish poem to the one you love. There may be a prize for the soppiest one. I shall have to see.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Sunday, 28 March 2004 21:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Is there a catch? Yes, there's always a catch. The one you love is Pop Idol judge, Simon Cowell - and you must mention the name "Simon" somewhere in the poem.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Sunday, 28 March 2004 21:14 (twenty-two years ago)

There once was man named Cowell
Who singers called Simon the Foul
For a singer pathetic
Had effects diuretic
And he'd say "Shite, I just voided my bowel."

― m.e.a. (m.e.a.), Sunday, 28 March 2004 21:59 (twenty-two years ago)

If you suck
Simon will tell you so
You'll still say "NO!"
He'll tell you straight out
"You sound like a duck"
And you are not to pout

― Aja (aja), Sunday, 28 March 2004 22:08 (twenty-two years ago)

I can't sing
I can't dance
But, Simon, I need you to say
That I bang,
That I bang
In mysterious, sensual ways.

― jazz odysseus, Sunday, 28 March 2004 22:19 (twenty-two years ago)

I love you
I love you
No matter how bad you say I am
I'll sing for you
Oh, Simon

(???)

― Aja (aja), Sunday, 28 March 2004 22:24 (twenty-two years ago)

m.e.a.:

That was incredible. Incredibly BAD.

Aja:

Pack your bags, you're going home.

jazz odysseus:

You are the dark horse to win this competition.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Sunday, 28 March 2004 23:16 (twenty-two years ago)

I am already home!!

Look at me, listen to me sing
Simon?
Simon?
What'd you think?
What?
Oh, like you could do better!
I'm not that bad!
What's your problem?
Well, screw you!

― Aja (aja), Sunday, 28 March 2004 23:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Aja: you tried, you failed, go home. I'm going to have a cigarette *leaves room as Aja tries to throw his Coke over his face*.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Sunday, 28 March 2004 23:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Umm, I'm a girl.

― Aja (aja), Sunday, 28 March 2004 23:28 (twenty-two years ago)

his = Simon's

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Sunday, 28 March 2004 23:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Ahh.

Simon, think's he's all that
Simon, will tell some girls they're too fat
Simon, he'll critique
Simon, tell you you're a geek
Simon, he's Brithish
Simon, let you know you sing and look like a fish

Simon, he's just honest!

― Aja (aja), Sunday, 28 March 2004 23:38 (twenty-two years ago)

simon cowell
simon cowell
simon all the way
oh what fun he is to ride
waterman wished he was ga-yyyyy
simon cowell
simon cowell
simon all the way
oh what fun he is to ride
waterman wished he was gayyyyyy

― ken c (ken c), Sunday, 28 March 2004 23:49 (twenty-two years ago)

ken c:

What you really are is a reasonably competent music hall poet. You have little or no star quality.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Sunday, 28 March 2004 23:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Are you Simon?

― Aja (aja), Sunday, 28 March 2004 23:53 (twenty-two years ago)

I am indeed.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Sunday, 28 March 2004 23:56 (twenty-two years ago)

For the purposes of this competition, anyway.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Sunday, 28 March 2004 23:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Exuberant masturbation
Leads to chafing
When the name "Simon Cowell"
Is embroidered on my semen towel.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Sunday, 28 March 2004 23:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh hi!

So I'm guessing after that whole World Idol thing, you don't ever want to hear anyone sing "Lithium" which is actually on the radio right now!

"I'm not gonna crack"

What do you think of those lyrics?

― Aja (aja), Sunday, 28 March 2004 23:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Security! Remove Aja.

Casuistry:

That was awful. Appalling. You have no talent whatsoever.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Monday, 29 March 2004 00:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Yo yo yo!
Hey Simon, I was wondering if I could sing a song for you?
Ok, here it goes.
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII ehay IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
"Stop! Oh, thank God!"
"What the hell was that?"
"That was the most painful thing my ears have ever had to hear!"
"You can not sing at all!"
It's alright Simon.
You not like my singin, I'll get famouse some other way.

― Aja (aja), Monday, 29 March 2004 00:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Unless someone comes up with something half bearable in next five minutes, I'm giving it to jazz oddyseus.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Monday, 29 March 2004 00:40 (twenty-two years ago)

After you give it to jazz, may we start another thread like this?

― Aja (aja), Monday, 29 March 2004 00:42 (twenty-two years ago)

OK!

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Monday, 29 March 2004 00:46 (twenty-two years ago)

OK What????

Another thread?

Jazz wins???

What???

Simon????

― Aja (aja), Monday, 29 March 2004 00:47 (twenty-two years ago)

The general standard was oustanding. Outstandingly bad. Jazzy wins, but I doubt that America will really take him to their hearts. He might forge a career on a low level, but a Poetry Idol he is not, except by default.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Monday, 29 March 2004 00:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Or she, jazz, if you are a girl. How sexist of me.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Monday, 29 March 2004 00:54 (twenty-two years ago)

So what's the prize?

― m.e.a. (m.e.a.), Monday, 29 March 2004 00:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah!

What are the rest of us missing out on?

― Aja (aja), Monday, 29 March 2004 00:57 (twenty-two years ago)

I bet it's a nickel. Though that would make you the best-paid poet in America.

― m.e.a. (m.e.a.), Monday, 29 March 2004 00:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe it's some water to drink before you read the poem in front of 10 people!

― Aja (aja), Monday, 29 March 2004 00:59 (twenty-two years ago)

The prize was to be that I would send your poem to the Simon Cowell appreciation site, Simply Simon, where there is a place for fan poetry in his honour:

http://members.fortunecity.com/okielady/simon/home.html

However, I really doubt whether any of you make the grade. There's something rather false about your poetry. You don't connect to the audience.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Monday, 29 March 2004 01:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, I was in it for the money, so...

― Aja (aja), Monday, 29 March 2004 01:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Ghastly. Awful. I don't think you have any idea how to run a poetry contest.

(Boos from the audience)

I'm not joking! It was dreadful!

― m.e.a. (m.e.a.), Monday, 29 March 2004 01:06 (twenty-two years ago)

You call that a competion?

There were people participating, but barly any at that.

― Aja (aja), Monday, 29 March 2004 01:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah I didnt even get a chance to warm up I want a do-over!

*throws coke*

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 29 March 2004 01:19 (twenty-two years ago)

You just don't have the it factor.

― Aja (aja), Monday, 29 March 2004 01:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Shall we try again then, with a less ambiguous thread header?

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Monday, 29 March 2004 01:26 (twenty-two years ago)

OK it's up. Aja, you are restricted to no more than fifty attempts.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Monday, 29 March 2004 01:33 (twenty-two years ago)

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