Even after you have it in your possession, you will still be unable to comprehend the awesome power that is the APPLE G3 COMPUTER. Forged in the exotic and faraway land of THAILAND, using ancient time-honored techniques, and transported to the Americas at GREAT EXPENSE, this VIRTUAL THINKING MACHINE can perform COMPLEX MULTIPLICATION PROBLEMS at the mere touch of a button!The complete works of GEORGE BERNARD SHAW or BRAD ANDERSON will easily fit inside the CAVERNOUS 4 GIGABYTE "Caviar 24300 Hard Drive" contained within this machine's luxurious beige casing.
[...]
Dear reader, you may never become a multi-millionaire, sipping the finest wines of Australia while being dowsed with sweet-smelling ointments by virginal young virgins. You may never master the intricacies of the pianoforte, holding the salons of Europe in thrall to your melodic fingersongs. You may never even enter the gleaming gated community on the other side of life known as Heaven. But by bidding on and owning this incredible, Godly computing instrument, you will be able to say that you have truly experienced all the richness and sublime bliss that existence has to offer.
Monitor, wine, candle not included.
― Kingfish Hypercolor (Kingfish), Sunday, 28 March 2004 21:10 (twenty-two years ago)