can you be consumed by your interests/job, thus making you boring

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Lately I feel as though anyone I meet whom I haven't seen in a while asks me about music or writing about music, and then the conversation seems to consist of them asking me about getting printed or reviewing stuff or all that kind of thing.

I then feel that it seems boring to always be talking about this, I always ask people about what they're doing and ask questions but often they bring things back to my own situation. Is it possible that something can interest people enough that it actually becomes boring in the end, because you end up talking about it so much?

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 30 March 2004 12:10 (twenty-two years ago)

the grammar in the title is suspect I know.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 30 March 2004 12:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes, obv.

I worry about this a lot.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Tuesday, 30 March 2004 12:13 (twenty-two years ago)

sometimes people ask you back about your job etc because they have nothing to say about theirs, maybe figure out things they have something to say about and ask them about those.

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 30 March 2004 12:15 (twenty-two years ago)

It's annoying because I can talk about other things and amn't shy generally, not too bad anyway, but if people keep asking about one thing it becomes sort of something you get used to.

z-post yeah I guess so ken, not easy if you've just met them though.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 30 March 2004 12:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Me too.

― Dave B (daveb), Tuesday, 30 March 2004 12:16 (twenty-two years ago)

yes, it is possible. sadly it's even worse when you're in a family business and your mom's a workaholic demanding you also turn into one. sometimes i wonder my interest in music is a form of rebellion. it was/is definitely escapism.

― jesus nathalie (nathalie), Tuesday, 30 March 2004 12:16 (twenty-two years ago)

I hate being asked about my job, mainly because the number of interesting things I have to say about it could be written on the back of a stamp.

A mate of mine is running the marathon at the weekend and has said he will hit the next person who asks him "so, how's the training going?" It's such feigned interest, because you know full well the only answer is "yeah, its going alright. I'm, erm... running lots".

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 30 March 2004 12:19 (twenty-two years ago)

the person i live with at the moment he has a pretty interesting job, but he talks about it all the time, and sometimes it just gets a little much. as long as when you're talking they aren't looking terribly bored or fending you off with "yeah intersting" etc. then you'll be fine.

you can of course change the subject yourself and talk about things you wanna talk about that isn't your interest/job, once they know more about you then the conversation will go to other things.

― name withheld, Tuesday, 30 March 2004 12:20 (twenty-two years ago)

The problem is, and I suspect Dave B and others relate, my job, writing about music, is my interest, my main interest!

x-post with name withheld-I think it's mainly a problem when it's people I see every few weeks or something.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 30 March 2004 12:21 (twenty-two years ago)

is it possible? it's downright unavoidable...

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Tuesday, 30 March 2004 12:22 (twenty-two years ago)

but how's that perfume business going charlie?

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 30 March 2004 12:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Everyone finishing a doctoral thesis to thread.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 30 March 2004 13:23 (twenty-two years ago)

With people I only see every so often, it's always 'how's the poetry going?', a question I hate because, well, it doesn't necessarily go ANYWHERE. Much like the training question I suppose.

I think this sort of thing always happens when someone brings up an area where you have some knowledge/experience and they don't (or that is the perception), and the conversation becomes rapidly one-sided.

People like to stay on safe ground when talking to acquaintances I guess, and if they know there's one thing you can bang on about for ages, that's what they go for. I don't think it means YOU are boring, just some social situations.

― Archel (Archel), Tuesday, 30 March 2004 13:29 (twenty-two years ago)

That's exactly it really, and perhaps we ourselves fall back on it too sometimes, but it's odd how ultimately the interest can be an obstacle to actually getting to know people, cos both parties use it as a sort of crutch.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 30 March 2004 13:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Preachin' to the choir!

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 30 March 2004 13:55 (twenty-two years ago)

It's like, what I do (music writing) is a pretty public thing, so people know about that. But like, you'd think that should be the last thing people ask about.
"So, you still writing for the paper?"
"Why don't you spend ¢75 and find out?"

But it also keeps certain relationships on a level I like to keep them, strictly superficial. Especially if I'm sleeping with a dude's girlfriend. The last thing I want him to ask about is my personal life.
"So I'm glad to hear that your writing is going so well, but how's your love life? Seeing anyone?"
"Yeah, your girlfriend. Twenty minutes ago."

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 30 March 2004 14:08 (twenty-two years ago)

One time, I wrote an article for a magazine. (bear with me). It was published, and I showed a few friends and that.

And whenever I see any of them after a long layoff, they always ask "So, how are the Jesus and Mary chain doing?"

(Umm, I don't actually know them, personally. Or follow them around.)

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 30 March 2004 14:33 (twenty-two years ago)

i promote parties and know lots of djs--i'd say a good portion of them have lost the ability to talk about anything else but mixing records....the only ones who seem fascinated by these types are usually naive squares that are too scared to go out dancing but have a glamorized view of dj life.

― waxyjax (waxyjax), Tuesday, 30 March 2004 14:36 (twenty-two years ago)

p.s. I don't really sleep with other dude's girlfriends.

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 30 March 2004 14:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Being consumed by anything is boring. Your job, your (gag) wedding plans, your children, your religion, your hatred of religion, politics, drugs, anything. Being interesting is the ability to interact with a variety of people with different interests and bring something of your (not necessarily all-consuming) passions to the conversation.

n.b. to H-B, yeah, right.

― Skottie, Tuesday, 30 March 2004 14:40 (twenty-two years ago)

i'd imagine ronan is OTM but mainly its also my fault since i don't enjoy smalltalk too much so i have this neurosis that i'm always "talking shop" about one or another thing i'm interested in or doing and that it makes me somewhat offputting. Like when I meet people too i'm interested in what THEY'RE doing and managing to distinguish between that and being intersted in them qua them is sorta difficult.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Tuesday, 30 March 2004 14:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I think the key is that these are people you don’t know that well. They probably feel the need to talk about something, anything, and talking to you about music (which they know you’re interested in) is better than talking about the weather, or the mets, or something.

I actually worry that I have the opposite problem. I’m not *that* passionate about anything, which makes me feel boring. Probably one of those balance things, huh?

― colette (a2lette), Tuesday, 30 March 2004 14:43 (twenty-two years ago)

I think the key is that these are people you don’t know that well. They probably feel the need to talk about something, anything, and talking to you
about music (which they know you’re interested in) is better than talking about the weather, or the mets, or something.

Yeah, it is generally a sign that these people are interested in you, at some level.

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 30 March 2004 14:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, I really honestly try not to talk about music or playing gigs or records because it's actually not that interesting, and I don't want to get 'typecast' or whatever.

Of course, people (who aren't close friends) usually do end up asking, and I have to say "Yup, still playing" or "You know, just doing the thing."

― Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 30 March 2004 14:49 (twenty-two years ago)

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