Things You've Dearly Wished You Could Say Out Loud To Your Friends But You Couldn't

Don't notice that guy round so much anymore though, he got a job & probably had to wash more so I can't smell him on the city rise breezes

Ugh actually it makes me sad even writing that.

Testify!

"For the past five years I've always wondered what your saliva smells like in the morning, and honestly, I don't even care if its, like....New York Fries."

"Sometimes when you get drunk and pass out, the rest of us decorate your slumbering form with objects from around the house (e.g. the infamous "groceries diorama," or the time we took all of J.'s little brother's stuffed animals and covered you with them) and then we take pictures of you and laugh. Further, even in times when we haven't been able to "dress you up" we still take pictures of you passed out anyway."

Jesus Christ.

*sigh*

*gets depressed, decides to become a hermit*

-- Trayce

trayce, I must refer you to my last post, which is something I think all the time and only say when i'm very drunk.

Ok, first of all, God bless you for having to have dealt with friends such as those. Second, she wouldn't have even gone into the theater in the first place (re: Dangerous Liaisons) -- in fact, she was worse than that. This is the friend who dragged me to go see Monsters, Inc. in the theater (FYI, I'm 24 and she's 25), but at the same time dragged me out of the theater not even halfway into the Kenneth Branagh adaptation of Hamlet, after I had gotten a rare opportunity to actually select a movie I was actually interested in.

i just think it's a bit weird that so many people would maintain friendships with people that make them sufficiently angry / disgusted / sad.
there are lots of others people out there. why not just let em go?

Maybe because of familial pressures? I know that in the case of the first person, my mother would point out how this friend actually stuck with me through last year's events and yell at me if I implied I wanted a friendship with something more to it. In the second case, I really don't have much of a problem with the person; she's never been particularly wild or immature and I've been able to have intelligent conversations with her. The drawback in her case is that she's married with a child and that's not exactly conducive to keeping up a friendship with someone who isn't either.

Though it's really hard for me to meet people. I mainly just go to work and school. At work, the people I'm surrounded by are a great deal older than I am, and at school the people over there are quite a bit younger. Plus it takes a great deal of effort for me to strike up a conversation with someone IRL. You do make a good point, though. I need to go to something like a poetry reading; hopefully there'll be other twentysomethings there.

Ok, I've just read what Tep posted and I think he does make a good point -- I mean, at least at one point in the friendship it was rewarding enough to be nurtured and developed -- but at the same time I do wonder if there can be the possibility of something more. I would love to have friends locally whom I can do things with without feeling as though I have to compromise.

Seriously. I don't fucking care that you like girls , but they dont like you. Don't be such a fucking creep. I've told you what to do, just trust me on it..

Also, You other kids over there. Stop riding my fucking coattails. You arent fooling anyone.

Also, you should all pay more attention and respect to me. I desperately need both of those things.

"I'm sorry about not offering much in the way of congratulations when your new baby was born. But ever since you got married and developed a more fundamentalist attitude, I don't really feel comfortable having anything more than a mundane chat with you anymore."

"You're a nice person but I wish you'd stop going on and on and ON when you talk. I GET THE POINT."

"Stop throwing away food and recyclables and stop washing a load of your clothes EVERY NIGHT - what kind of wasteful household did you grow up in?"

"You've always been a good and kind friend to me, thank you."

"I sincerely want to make up for being awful to you - I didn't catch on to the reason you were behaving that way. I want to ask you if it still bothers you, but I'm afraid to bring up possibly hurtful things about our relationship that you've tried to forget about."

"You miserable idjit, sometimes things actually happen outside of Burbank! Get out once in awhile!"

"You know how you get drunk and start rubbing my back in that way? Yeah, it totally freaks me out."

"You admit that you don't find your girlfriend interesting, attractive, and you don't speak the same language, but 'hey she's a good cook?' You're insane!"

"Stop smoking all that weed, you're not that interesting, and Days of the New is NOT a good band!"

"You complain about how I dissed you for a month, when it became clear that you never called me or invited me out somewhere when it was possible that you might meet a girl at the place you were going to, plus apparently I'm not indie rock enough for you. Sorry!"

"You are so stupid if you thought that would work!"

"YOU ARE SO WRONG!"

Good luck!"You are going to get your ass kicked!"

"I'd rather be her friend than yours!"

"What are you doing over here? We're not really your friends. Are you so blind that you can't tell we hate you and want to get rid of you?"

Me: "In a second."

Her: "Good job neither of us are rich, hu?"

Me: "Yeh."

(The annoying thing is, we actually DO have conversations not a million miles away from this. It's driving me up the fucking wall.)

"Better fat than FLAT you anorexic bitch!"

"You have shitty parenting skills. Social Services will take your kid before the age of 15 I bet a million dollars.

"You absorb whatever latest girl's opinions about it instead of forming your own, as is your habit. Do you even HAVE a thought of your own? "

"Being a sociopath is neither charming nor amusing, You are a predator and you will end up murdering or driving to suicide someone who deserves neither. You should check yourself into a mental hospital. Just because you LOOK normal and can send charming emails doesn't mean you ARE normal. And if you say "I don't care" like a 5 year old one more time I am going to shove something heavy down your throat. You believe your own lies and manufacture conversations that did not happen, you erase your words and replace them with something else 5 minutes later then harangue me for actually correctly remembering what you said. You repeat phrases that I coined as if they are your own--do you know the difference between you and me? Or do you just have no originality? You have a criminal mind: no one else matters so it doesn't matter that you cause them emotional, financial, or physical harm. You are getting WORSE with time, and you think you can explode violently when someone points out the contradiction when you hear what you want to hear and report saying what it is that you would have liked to have said because it was convenient for your purpsoes at the moment--the tragedy is that you actually BELIEVE your own lies and re-interpretations of events!!!! You think there are no consequences for any of your actions. And so far there haven't been-- it is true. You use people to get what you want and they don't realize they are being used, Your last conversation with me was frankly abusive and I hate you. You can stomp on my porch and tantrum until you explode. I hope there is a God because I want you to have to stand before him when you die and explain your lies, dishonesty, conniving and cruelty. Although it is not very forgiving I admit that I hope God says: " YOU ARE NOT PART OF THE EQUATION" and sends you to hell." Love, your "roommate".

and on the more positive side, for different people:

"All you had to do was ask. The response might surprise you."

"I would do anything for a friend. The problem is that "friend" doesn't seem to have much meaning to a lot of people. I would march through fire to help a friend and I wish that you understood that."

"yeah, i'd marry you, you nut!"

(I know this isn't a picture thread, but this seemed to make more sense than to say "I want to say 'remember that Far Side cartoon'," since what I really want is to hold it up like a giant sign and wave it in front of them.)

What I should say to my friends but don't = "i know i never see you, but it's because i am crap, not because you are". but i think they know that anyway...

(My own included, probably.)

Duh, stupid coldt-flu-y thing.

(Whoa, there I go again with the involuntary self expression again...)

"STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DOOOO!!!"

"Next time you tell me & your girlfriend & your MOM that you're quitting coke, QUIT DOING THE FUCKING COKE."

I don't always do this. There's also the times when you end up saying exactly the same thing as me seconds earlier.

"you are the most insensitve, selfish, self centred, self pitying person I have EVER met, stop going on about what you've been through! What about what we've been through? And had to put up with your hysterics on top of it, hmmmm?"

-- Give me back my shoes, you dumbass.

-- You know what? You're fucked up. You say you want help, you say you want things to change, but you do nothing to facilitate either of those things. I've bent over backwards trying to do what you've asked me to do and I can't anymore. Fuck off.

-- Maybe the fact that I never call you back is a HINT.

-- You know, what you're doing is really hurting me. I know things have been difficult for us lately, but I never thought there would come a time when you'd act this way. I can't be a part of it anymore because it makes me feel too bad - if you want to fix it, you know where I am.

-- Not only are you not all that, you are nowhere near being the bag of chips as well.

-- hey you, you're pretty cool. thanks.

PS that gary larson cartoon was part of one of my lectures today

P.S. Or just write it, I guess I like you to much to be bothered by that.

(OK, I stole that from Shaggy off Scooby Doo, but still, it's perfect.)

"did you never have any stickle bricks you somewhat underprivileged yet equally talented and socially disregarded child?"

that's a lie because i did just say it i just thought it was a really good sentence and wanted to show somebody