What would you do if you were a billionaire?

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How would you spend your money?
What would you spend your money on?
Just wondering!

― GrapeSoda, Monday, 5 April 2004 21:52 (twenty-one years ago)

have a nap.

― RJG (RJG), Monday, 5 April 2004 21:55 (twenty-one years ago)

things i would immediately buy upon becoming rich: a rega turntable, a moth/loricraft/whatever record cleaning machine, an assload of records, and a nice red wine.

― the surface noise (electricsound), Monday, 5 April 2004 21:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Donate half to various favorite charities. After that, I suppose I could indulge in various spots to live in Melbourne, Dunedin, London, Auckland as whim takes me, fully paid off. Here too I guess. Set the rest to invest to live off the interest, then enjoy life.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 5 April 2004 21:56 (twenty-one years ago)

I would have a huge house probably in the woods.
I would have 2 or 3 bulldogs because they're cute!
I would give a lot of money away to charities.
I would own a pink lamborghini!!!
I would probably fly around in my private jet all day.
And of course I'd get plastic surgery.
Oh and I would want a teacher to help me learn French.
Yup that would be it. lol

― 1, Monday, 5 April 2004 21:57 (twenty-one years ago)

i would fund the death of my enemies

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 5 April 2004 21:57 (twenty-one years ago)

invent, patent, and market a product that could wipe psycho ex girlfriends off the face of the earth

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 5 April 2004 21:57 (twenty-one years ago)

how can i pre-order one of those?

― the surface noise (electricsound), Monday, 5 April 2004 21:58 (twenty-one years ago)

...and then give the rest jody's R&D team

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 5 April 2004 21:59 (twenty-one years ago)

TEH WORLDS LARGEIST CASTEL!!!!

― dean! (deangulberry), Monday, 5 April 2004 22:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Boring answer: Clear up school loans.

Truth:

1) Buy half the buildings on Kensington High Street, raze them and build my own mansion (a la Carnegie) and staff it with buff cooks male maids and houseboys;

2) Donate 50% to AmFar.

3) Put the rest in offshore accounts, and live off the interest;

4) Travel to a diff country every six months (after living in each).

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Monday, 5 April 2004 22:01 (twenty-one years ago)

NOTICE ANYTHING DIFFERENT, LENNY?
oh you're the worlds biggest man! and you're made of solid gold!
THAT'S RIGHT. HAHAHAHAHAHA.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 5 April 2004 22:02 (twenty-one years ago)

FOURTEEN CARAT GOLD

― RJG (RJG), Monday, 5 April 2004 22:06 (twenty-one years ago)

I would smile. often.

― Speedy (Speedy Gonzalas), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 06:56 (twenty-one years ago)

I would live on an enormous yaught, and occasionally assassinate world leaders with a crossbow.

― Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 06:59 (twenty-one years ago)

three words: robotic death monkeys

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 07:05 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd donate to charity (just to get it out of the way), unlist my phone numbers, buy super plush but not stupidly grandiose pads for me and my family, buy a modest supercar like an M5 (not to be modest but because people are jealous shit and I don't want to get carjacked for a Lambo and then have people like ILX tell me I deserved it), start the greatest magazine in the world (which would be my putative source of income - I wouldn't tell ANYONE I was a billionaire). I'd (somehow) eat more lavishly than I do now and do better drugs. My taste in girls and clothes would be the same.

― LC, Tuesday, 6 April 2004 07:33 (twenty-one years ago)

buy out Chesterfield and pay off their debts, build a new stadium designed by Calatrava, which is modular so that when the Spireite climb up the leagues they can "plug" new bits in to increase the capacity. I would be chairman, natch, but the board would contain season ticket holders, coaches and players. We would work our way up the leagues, winning the premiership with a combination of steely defence and wildly skilful forwards. Eventually the champions league final will be held at the Camp Brun as the fans have come to call it, with the plucky Spireites making their first appearance on that occasion, the score will be 0-0 with a minute to go and then Chesterfield will bring on their sub, a big lad, who scores with a bullet header from a corner.... the name of the sub? Chris Brown Jr.

― chris (chris), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 07:41 (twenty-one years ago)

buy a submarine and live in it, buy every decaying old movie palace i could find & restore them, the donate them to local community/arts groups (or set those groups up & include some sort of film program), set up world's best haunted house, run glamourous nightclub/restaurant with round booths

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 07:44 (twenty-one years ago)

I would continue working as usual. I would share with my parents. The rest can go fuck themselves.

"FOURTEEN CARAT GOLD"

Aaah you're American. Be Euro(trash): go 18 karat gold!

― jesus nathalie (nathalie), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 07:46 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd buy a new server for ILX and employ a full-time programmer to make it run all nice and fast-like.

― Andrew (enneff), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 07:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I would get my ride pimped, daily.

I would pay all of my friends enough so that they wouldn't have to work at anything they didn't want to.

I'd buy a laptop and continuously travel around the world making pictures and music until I the day I die.

That would do.

― hmmm (hmmm), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 08:06 (twenty-one years ago)

I would but meercats. I'd get meercat experts to work out what the optimum number in a group and the best living conditions. Then I would set them up and so when I had fabulous parties I could swan outside, cocktail glass aloft, "oh you must come and see the meercats darling".

I would also watch them run about in quiet moments, much in the same way people look at tropical fish.

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 08:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I would use it all to pay Daft Punk to play a live show for me and my friends.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 08:35 (twenty-one years ago)

I think i would kit out all my friends with an amazing wardrobe, take them 2 las vegas, put them up in the finest hotel, give them £50,000 and instruct them that they had 2 gamble all that money.

it'd be a mega weekend.

after that i don't know; so much of my leisurely lifestyle requires, not poverty exactly, but a skating on the edge of poverty that makes spending money on drinks in cheap bars extraspecially fun.

― Robbie Lumsden (Wallace Stevens HQ), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 08:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Build my ideal home: An impregnable fortress on top of a 1000 foot high tower next to a pub.

― robster (robster), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 08:40 (twenty-one years ago)

1. 50% to charities
2. Hire somebody to control every mouthful I eat and bully me into doing lots of exercise
3. Buy places in London, Hautes Pyrenees and Bergamo Citta Alta
4. Spend my first rich winter on a skiing tour of Europe and North America
5. Buy a grand piano
6. Pay off my sister's and parents' mortgages
7. Manolos, Ginas, Choos.

That'll do for now

― Madchen (Madchen), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 08:57 (twenty-one years ago)

i want a pony.

― colette (a2lette), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 09:20 (twenty-one years ago)

i would give some to children charities animals and cancer charites buy my mum a nice house and myseld and buy a horse hehe and travel the world partying

― Emma williams (Emma williams), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 17:47 (twenty-one years ago)

i would give half of it to beneficiaries of my own deeming, buy numerous chunks of land, get dream house built, set up an artists colony where people can apply to come and work and party in for no rent, go around pretending i'm not rich so that a fine lady would fall in love with me and not my wallet, like in that film...then go round the world for a couple of years or until i got tired. if still arsed i would possibly pay a bunch of shit hot coders and artists to make video games based on the ideas i had when i was 12. then spend the rest of my time posting on ILX, much as i do now.

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 17:56 (twenty-one years ago)

there was a similar discussion on the SA forum some months back. the best ideas were

1: drive around in a big car all day, and hire Dave Chappelle to screetch "i'm RICH, biYATCH" into a microphone at your enemies

2: build a gaint trebuchet that did nothing but launch SMALLER trebuchets, which launch pianos while they're in mid-air

― Kingfish Balzac (Kingfish), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 17:56 (twenty-one years ago)

not to whatever, but on Louis CK's Live in Houston album he talks about what he would do if he had Bill Gates's money.
"If I had $90 billion, I...I wouldn't have it for long."

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 17:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I would have a cast of vagabonds re-create Electric Boogaloo each Friday night in my personal ampitheater, while I eat cheeses with names I can't pronounce.

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 18:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Like Cheddar?

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 18:01 (twenty-one years ago)

or herman muenster

― Kingfish Balzac (Kingfish), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 18:02 (twenty-one years ago)

I would finance the construction of a bong the likes of which the world hath never seen.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 18:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Like that Supergun Iraq was supposed to be developing in the early 90s, only with a bowl?

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 18:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually I would probably squander my entire fortune by turning it over little by little to Terry Gilliam's quest to make The Man Who Killed Don Quixote while watching it be eaten away by one predictably unpredictable disaster after another.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 18:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Or like the Statue of Liberty (the real one) and hollow out a toenail for the bowl, and then you could hoot out of a nozzle in the torch?

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 18:05 (twenty-one years ago)

1) Buy George W. Bush (hey, everyone has their price, no?)
2) Execute him on live TV.

― j.lu (j.lu), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 20:26 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd be mainly about the houses.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 20:30 (twenty-one years ago)

wtf was I thinking? fuck vagabonds, I'd have my robot death monkeys re-enact Electric Boogaloo.

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 20:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually, what I'd really do is go round to all the people who've DONE ME DOWN through my life by BEING VASTLY MORE SUCCESSFUL THAN ME and STEALING MY BIRTHRIGHT and ask them "Ha ha, who's better now?", and they'd say "I have gathered the fruit of my talents and labours, and earned the admiration of my peers and the wider world, whereas you have mysteriously acquired a large sum of money and are making an idiot of yourself. So it's me. It's me who's better."

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 20:47 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd buy the Presidency, just to fuck with Dubya.

I want to fund a city-wide full-tuition/books/etc. scholarship that goes to the student with the combination of highest SAT and lowest GPA. Fuck y'all overachievers

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 20:50 (twenty-one years ago)

nothing. i wouldn't do a goddam thing.

― g--ff (gcannon), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 21:13 (twenty-one years ago)

god, it'd be great.

― g--ff (gcannon), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 21:14 (twenty-one years ago)

billionare, that's a million million here. I'd probably buy that underground bunker/base that there was a thread about a few weeks back. Keep a couple of million in the bank. Give away most of it to friends, family and charity.

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 21:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Do not believe jel re: the million million thing. Unless you want to make believe you're living in the 1950s with fairies and pipes.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 21:18 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd hire a bunch of top scientists to terraform Mars. Then I'd hire the world's finest artists, architects, builders, plumbers and electricians to construct a giant palace in the shadow of Olympus Mons. Taht would probably use up all the money though so I'd have to come home again and go back to the day job. Still, it was fun while it lasted.
btw, are we talking dollar, pound or euro billionaire here?

― udu wudu (udu wudu), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 21:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Buy the biggest house I can possibly find and let all my mates live there rent-free, and then throw free parties every Saturday in the grounds and get loads of people to DJ. And possibly buy a yacht and hang around the Mediterranean for four months of the year doing basically the same thing.

Then I'd buy Spurs and do an Abramovich. Or possibly just buy Arsenal, sell all the players, demolish both stadiums and build a load of flats over the top.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 21:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh yeah, I may have made an error, sorry charity.

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 21:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd get a powerbook that can burn cds AND dvds. And buy food.

― A Nairn (moretap), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 21:23 (twenty-one years ago)

It would only buy 'cool' food.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 21:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, ice cream!

― A Nairn (moretap), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 21:27 (twenty-one years ago)

i would buy friends

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 22:45 (twenty-one years ago)

I would build a few libraries, fund some medical research, and move into a houseboat on the Mississippi with someone I like and spend my years bobbing around on the water, reading, writing, smoking, drinking whiskey and taking lots of naps.

― kirsten (kirsten), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 22:51 (twenty-one years ago)

I would invest it all in the stock market.

― Dan Selzer (Dan Selzer), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 23:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Like Wesley Snipes says, I'd bet it all on black...

― Dan Selzer (Dan Selzer), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 23:01 (twenty-one years ago)

has roc-a-fella gone public then?

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 23:01 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd probably blow it on Maker's Mark and candy.

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 23:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually, minus the libraries and medical research parts, I could probably live my dream life without being a billionaire. I could probably go do it next week.

― kirsten (kirsten), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 23:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, my dream life is not really all that expensive either.
I don't really like having too many things or big things.

― A Nairn (moretap), Wednesday, 7 April 2004 02:13 (twenty-one years ago)

I think I would hate living in a huge house, and I really have no cravings for expensive clothes or gadgets. I would, however, send my parents to an exclusive cooking school in Tuscany or something, just because they would love that so much and they have done so much for me and if I weren't so grateful, I would be a spoiled brat. Aside from that, I really think I would be happiest just living a pretty simple life, floating around, drinking bottom-shelf whiskey and being with someone I love.

― kirsten (kirsten), Wednesday, 7 April 2004 02:33 (twenty-one years ago)

The charity is nice and all, but if I had a billion right now I'd buy this island and install an underground silo.

http://home.online.no/~polar-ps/mapljb.JPG

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Wednesday, 7 April 2004 02:40 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd take a LONG nap. And then give a bunch of it to the United Negro College Fund so they wouldn't have to be called United Negro College Fund anymore, and then give some of it to Mark E Smith so he wouldn't have to tour/release second-rate albums every other day to support his ex-wives, and some stuff to be thought of later. And then another nap.

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Wednesday, 7 April 2004 03:03 (twenty-one years ago)

To be more honest, I think I'd probably just end up like Mike Tyson.

― LC, Wednesday, 7 April 2004 03:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Charity would go to the college radio staion and Planned Parenthood.

Then:

Get the AC fixed on my car ('94 Buick Century).

Upgrade to a 40 gig iPod.

See if I would better please a woman sexually as a billionaire (I'd imagine so).

― christhamrin (christhamrin), Wednesday, 7 April 2004 03:30 (twenty-one years ago)

I would pay Bam Margera, Tony Hawk, and Rodney Mullen to help me become a skateboard pro. I would get some funky tattoos. I'd buy an Aston Martin. But dammit, once you spend a dollar...you're not a billionaire anymore lol

― 1, Wednesday, 7 April 2004 12:32 (twenty-one years ago)

jel's point is a good one - an american billion or a British billion? A thousand million or a million million?

Since I'm British, I get the million million, I guess.

I would release the coffee table book called www.ilxor.com, neatly covering the whole of ILX in all its glory. It would be a book of the best threads, but arranged in such a way as to tell to story of the main protagonists with little glimpses into their lives through the haze of strange thread titles. The introduction would be the FAQ, and the index would be a weblink to the search page. £12.99 at all good bookshops, and it would be a bestseller.

― Johnney B (Johnney B), Wednesday, 7 April 2004 12:43 (twenty-one years ago)

GBP over USD or EUR, eh? I think a US billion is 100 mill isn't it? But we tend to use 100 mill in the UK too now.

― Madchen (Madchen), Wednesday, 7 April 2004 12:46 (twenty-one years ago)

1000

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 7 April 2004 12:48 (twenty-one years ago)

100 mil = 100,000,000.
1000 mil = 1,000,000,000
mil mil = 1,000,000,000,000

― Johnney B (Johnney B), Wednesday, 7 April 2004 12:53 (twenty-one years ago)

cocaine

― Lil' Fancy Pants (ex machina), Wednesday, 7 April 2004 12:54 (twenty-one years ago)

commit all sorts of crimes and have my crack legal team get me off

EVERY TIME

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 7 April 2004 12:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd give AFC Wimbledon 2.5 million to pay for Kingsmeadow. I'd take out 8 page ads in every American newspaper and print facts about George W Bush and the Republican party.

I'd put a bounty on Jess's head.

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 7 April 2004 13:03 (twenty-one years ago)

pudding party.

EVERY day.

― Kingfish Balzac (Kingfish), Wednesday, 7 April 2004 13:04 (twenty-one years ago)

i would rock yo

― 1, Friday, 9 April 2004 10:15 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd exploit numerous glamour models.

― CRW (CRW), Friday, 9 April 2004 13:04 (twenty-one years ago)

also, i'd start my own line of ice cream hats.

― Kingfish Balzac (Kingfish), Friday, 9 April 2004 13:06 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd pay someone to kill you all.

― Ally C (Ally C), Friday, 9 April 2004 13:14 (twenty-one years ago)

i'd definitely buy a lot before worrying about charity.

1. an ipod and a cell phone
2. a car might be nice too, but i like the lack of responsibility of not having one. ooh, i could just rent cars to go on trips!
3. i'd pay for college tuition and therefore be able to get whatever cool volunteer/travel-based jobs i wanted over the summer instead of worrying about finding a minimum-wage job and living at home to meet my required earnings. also, i'd go to a language immersion program in middlebury for fucking $5000.
4. i'd go to scandinavia and greece and baffin island and all the places i'm so curious about seeing.
5. i'd give my family a ton of money so my mom could take care of my younger brother in a way that he'd like after he gets out of high school, they could afford for him to work with horses or something.

― Maria (Maria), Friday, 9 April 2004 13:23 (twenty-one years ago)

I forgot I would pay people money to do humiliating things. Thats how I'd spend most of my time.

― christhamrin (christhamrin), Friday, 9 April 2004 14:18 (twenty-one years ago)

lots of travel

― A Nairn (moretap), Friday, 9 April 2004 15:45 (twenty-one years ago)

two months pass...

Bosko Balaban Stats For Season

Name Bosko Balaban
Team Aston Villa
Total Appearances 0
Starts 0
Substituted 0
Total Minutes Played 0
Avg Minutes Played Per Start 0
Goals 0
Avg Goal Mins When Starting 0.0
Avg Mins Played/Goal Scored 0
Goals Scored As Sub 0
Number of Bookings 0
Total Booking Minutes 0
Avg Bookings Per Start 0
Number of Red Cards 0
Total Red Card Minutes 0
Avg Red Cards Per Start 0

― bosko, Monday, 14 June 2004 03:24 (twenty-one years ago)

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