Here talk about the best straight-to-video movies you have ever seen!

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!!!!!

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Monday, 5 April 2004 22:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Was "Summer Catch" straight-to-video?

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Monday, 5 April 2004 22:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Assbangers Redux (With Fucking).

― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 5 April 2004 23:21 (twenty-one years ago)

The original had no fucking?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 5 April 2004 23:23 (twenty-one years ago)

no, just a lot of bangers and mash

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 5 April 2004 23:25 (twenty-one years ago)

nb: i have no idea what that is

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 5 April 2004 23:25 (twenty-one years ago)

It's like a mash-up, but the Eminem vocal is a la carte.

― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 5 April 2004 23:27 (twenty-one years ago)

I have no idea what that means.

― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 5 April 2004 23:28 (twenty-one years ago)

you so crazy

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 5 April 2004 23:28 (twenty-one years ago)

(with fucking)

― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 5 April 2004 23:34 (twenty-one years ago)

leprechaun: back 2 tha hood

amazingly enough, it is also the only straight to video movie i have seen as well.

― todd swiss (eliti), Monday, 5 April 2004 23:35 (twenty-one years ago)

i still want to write a whole bunch of stv movies, we had a bunch of great ideas for them

― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 5 April 2004 23:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Was "Summer Catch" straight-to-video?

Shoulda been. Begs the question: "Jessica Biel, who"?

Wouldn't "best" imply there were any STVs worth the cellulloid it was burned on?

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Monday, 5 April 2004 23:36 (twenty-one years ago)

I think Tribulation, a godawful Evangelical thing with Margot Kidder and Gary Busey with a powerful cameo from the irrepressable Bible-quoting monster Jack Van Impe, is the best I've seen. But it's the only s-t-v movie I've seen.

― m.e.a. (m.e.a.), Monday, 5 April 2004 23:37 (twenty-one years ago)

has anyone seen the ripley movie w. malkovich, its stv in the states, but not in europe.

― anthony, Monday, 5 April 2004 23:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Was "The Invisible Maniac" released theatrically? Regardless, best climactic fight scene between two invisible enemies ever.

― m.e.a. (m.e.a.), Monday, 5 April 2004 23:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Ripley's Game. Quite good. Shame it couldn't hit theaters. Forgot about that one.

― m.e.a. (m.e.a.), Monday, 5 April 2004 23:39 (twenty-one years ago)

"Kiss Meets The Phantom Of The Park" - I think this was stv in the US, it barely even made it to video in the UK.

― udu wudu (udu wudu), Monday, 5 April 2004 23:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation was straight to video, wasn't it, cashing in on McConaughey and Zellwegger becoming stars after it was filmed? Or was it actually a theatrical release?

I'm having trouble thinking of non-porn straight-to-video movies I've seen.

― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 5 April 2004 23:41 (twenty-one years ago)

According to IMDB, Texas Chainsaw Massacre: TNG took in a whopping $53,111 during its opening weekend in theaters.

― m.e.a. (m.e.a.), Monday, 5 April 2004 23:44 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm having trouble thinking of non-porn straight-to-video movies I've seen.

Exactly, Tep. "STV" is just short for "C-Movies The Studios Regret".

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Monday, 5 April 2004 23:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Do straight-to-cable flicks count?

Anyway, I don't think it's fair to dismiss them out of hand, buried in amongst thousands of STVs there are bound to be gems. Some are indie movies that never got picked up.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Monday, 5 April 2004 23:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Geez, if TCMNG (Tick Mang!) wasn't stv, I have no idea if I've ever seen one.

Oh wait wait wait -- the Disney sequels. Most of them were crap, like when they got what's his name who does Homer to voice the Genie in the Aladdin sequel. But Lion King 1 1/2 is fantastic.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 00:00 (twenty-one years ago)

...And God Spoke, a Spinal Tap-type mockumentary about the making of a low-budget biblical epic. It's pretty funny actually. It has Soupy sales as Moses.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 00:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Haggard! excellent. . .although only STV b/c it's fully independant and was never associated with a studio.

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 00:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Boondock Saints?

― ModJ (ModJ), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 00:35 (twenty-one years ago)

BOONDOCK SAINTS! BOONBOONBOONBOON BOONDOCK SAINTS!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 00:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Faces of Death to thread!

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 00:40 (twenty-one years ago)

This board is so alienated from the world of the vaguely threatening guys I went to Jr. High School with.

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 00:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Leprechaun: Back 2 tha Hood is quite seriously a vastly entertaining movie. With Sticky Fingaz in a supporting role!

― Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 00:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Apparently Boondock Saints wasn't straight to video; it grossed $25K over the course of its week in theaters.

I like that movie, but man, some people just get nuts about it.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 00:51 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm 90% sure neither Bandwagon nor Office Space were ever in cinemas in Aus, so i nominate those.

― the surface noise (electricsound), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 00:52 (twenty-one years ago)

A random Netflix review of Leprechaun: Back 2 tha Hood:

This may not be the scariest leprechaun movie, but it was the most enjoyable. it hade characters that you hoped would not be killed and the leprechaun was very funny and very cool, he is small but he does beat up a lot of tall people and he did make a good point at the end of the movie.

May I ask what the point was? Or are you gonna force me to rent it?

― m.e.a. (m.e.a.), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 00:55 (twenty-one years ago)

I've seen Faces of Death, but does it really count as a movie? I only remember clip after clip, maybe there was threading material I'm forgetting.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 00:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Between the seal-clubbings and the electrocutions, there's really quite the affecting love story.

― m.e.a. (m.e.a.), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 00:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh -- American Vampire. Boring, meandering, visible-boom-mike vampires-at-the-beach movie, but Adam West plays the Big Kahuna, a vampire slayer, and the commentary track is two members of the Groundlings bitching about the movie (it's uneven, but one of them does a really good Adam West).

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 00:59 (twenty-one years ago)

I've seen Faces of Death, but does it really count as a movie? I only remember clip after clip, maybe there was threading material I'm forgetting.

No idea, I never actually saw it. I'm a huge pussy.

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 00:59 (twenty-one years ago)

I had a driver's ed class that showed the car accident stuff from Faces of Death.

― Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Ha, from imdb --

In New England, some years back, a troubled teen bought and watched these tapes over and over. He suffered nothing more then mild depression due to a divorce and a probably anti-social life. In the end, he shot, and gutted his best friend in his back yard in a Faces of Death fashion. Law enforcement officials and Phycologists alike link the murder to the videos. AVOID AT ALL COASTS! You will sleep easier if you never subject yourself to them.

California! Back away from the movie! You over there -- in Rhode Island! Get the fuck away from that movie. Hey you, Texas -- yeah, nice try, cowboy, the Gulf Coast is still a coast.

Oh, hey Kansas. Yeah, whatever, pop some popcorn, knock yourself out.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I had a driver's ed class that showed the car accident stuff from Faces of Death.

That just seems lazy

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:05 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm 90% sure neither Bandwagon nor Office Space were ever in cinemas in Aus, so i nominate those.
-- the surface noise (electricsoun...), April 6th, 2004 11:52 AM. (electricsound) (later)

Office Space was on at selected cinemas here actually esoj

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 06:30 (twenty-one years ago)

isn't the lion king 1 1/2 just the same story told from the perspective of minor characters? that's kind of interestingly weird

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 07:41 (twenty-one years ago)

oh ok.. bandwagon it is then!

― the surface noise (electricsound), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 07:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Ripleys Game has had some theatre showings here... at least its been on at the Astor several times (arthouse).

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 11:27 (twenty-one years ago)

was 'slap her, she's french!' even in cinemas?

― matthew james (matthew james), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 11:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah the Lion King stv sequel with Timon and Pumbah's parallel story thing was quite cute. And also featured the voice of Julie Kavner as Timon's mum.

― Archel (Archel), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 11:35 (twenty-one years ago)

I think I've only seen one, and it was called Ed's Next Move. It was okay, kind of inoffensive, and it's taken me hours to remember the title.

― sgs (sgs), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 11:36 (twenty-one years ago)

But I'm a Cheerleader!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 13:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Where I come from STV means Scottish Television, so the above makes for hilarious reading...just felt the need to share....

― smee (smee), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 13:22 (twenty-one years ago)

graffiti bridge!

these days often as not people say 'the prophecy' (american title?)
with christopher walken in as a scary-azz devil type.
meant 2b brill-o.never sen it.

― piscesboy, Tuesday, 6 April 2004 13:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Universal Soldier 2 with Gary Busey (making him the only Oscar-nominated actor to star in two different sequels in which he had no part in the originals)

― kephm, Tuesday, 6 April 2004 13:33 (twenty-one years ago)

cheerleader was in theathers surely?

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 14:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Not around here!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 14:49 (twenty-one years ago)

The last few times I've been at the movie store with my son he's like "daddy, look, Lion King with Pumba and Timon!" (referencing the LK 1 1/2 movie obv) and I'm tempted to rent it but then my overwhelming anti-"Circle of Life" predisposition keeps me in the fear, and then my poor son is subjected to some crazy shit like The Wizards that I like and assume he will.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 14:50 (twenty-one years ago)

oh no you should totally get it, it's like all the peurile bits with none of the eco-message!

― Archel (Archel), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 14:53 (twenty-one years ago)

I thought I was the only person who'd seen Boondocks saints, I liked that movie a lot, but maybe it was because I wasn't expecting too much from it.

― chris (chris), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 15:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Was Wet Hot American Summer a straight-to-vid release? It's genius anyway.

― original bgm, Tuesday, 6 April 2004 15:28 (twenty-one years ago)

mmmm..."Tribulation 99", the greatest conspiracy theory movie of ALL TIME!
http://www.othercinema.com/filmography/trib99.html

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 15:43 (twenty-one years ago)

isn't the lion king 1 1/2 just the same story told from the perspective of minor characters? that's kind of interestingly weird

Exactly/mostly, yeah -- the conceit is, "You know how Lion King was half-Hamlet? Well, here's half-Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead," which on the one hand is a conceit the kids in the audience would never get, and on the other hand is one that they don't need to. So, a lot of it is the same story (Pumbaa accidentally being responsible for the animals all bowing to infant Simba at the beginning of Lion King), and a lot of it is backstory for T&B.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 17:05 (twenty-one years ago)

"No Such Thing" - terrific monster movie from Hal Hartley. Apparently it skipped its theatrical release because the studio decided it was too close after 9/11 to spoof bad news.

― Layna Andersen (Layna Andersen), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 21:41 (twenty-one years ago)

layna, i have to disagree with you, i thought "no such thing" was really bad and lame.

also, the boondock saints was soooooooooo bad.
its almost to the point where i hate people just because they like that movie.

― todd swiss (eliti), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 21:53 (twenty-one years ago)

todd haynes - superstar: the karen carpenter story

― gygax! (gygax!), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 21:59 (twenty-one years ago)

"Straight to Video" can be misleading -- a bunch of these definitely had theatrical runs in NY or LA -- I saw a number of these in the theater! ("No Such Thing," "Boondock Saints," "Wet Hot American Summer")

And "Faces of Death" does have some kind of thread running through it. It's a bunch of clips, but they are bookended by this really funny pseudo-academic narration from a "Dr. Frances Gross." It's so funny how that movie seemed so traumatic as a youth, but if you watch it now it's so OBVIOUSLY mostly fake (like the gator attack -- shot on 35mm film and carefully edited!!).

That said, if we are talking TRULY straight to video movies, one of my all time favorites is "Posessed by the Night." Highly recommended for fans of bad movies with psychotic logic -- stars Shannon Tweed, Chad McQueen, and Henry Silva!
Also any Corman flicks, or anything with Shannon Whirry ("Mirror Images 2" being the ultimate classic), or so many horror cheapies...

― Ben Boyer (Ben Boyer), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 22:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Good Grief.

― Ian Johnson (orion), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 22:08 (twenty-one years ago)

"LUCKY"!

― Francis Watlington (Francis Watlington), Wednesday, 7 April 2004 01:40 (twenty-one years ago)

bring it on AGAIN!

― mandee, Wednesday, 7 April 2004 02:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Classic: renting the Malkovich "Ripley's Game" and loving it.
Dud: husband declaring he wants to be JUST LIKE THAT GUY.

― Layna Andersen (Layna Andersen), Monday, 12 April 2004 18:28 (twenty-one years ago)

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