new David Cross - leaked yet?

opened for Yo La Tengo in Hoboken Saturday night, in character as Ira's rabbi (w/ big $3 beard), taking Q&A to "explain the Jew." Tried some Gaza bombing material, I salute the attempt.

The YLT encore featured him singing "To Sir with Love," concluded by cooing "Sir is Barack Obama!"

http://www.politico.com/click/stories/0910/cross_i_did_coke_at_whcd.html

I used to think Cross was a shitty standup, but this is actually really funny! It's on netflix watch instantly right now.

http://www.mbvmusic.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/david-cross-bigger-blackerer.jpg

i saw him DESTROY a crowd live with a bit about a pissing elephant
i mean DESTROY: people falling to the ground they were laughing so hard

"I can't get beer in me"

David Cross claims his new movie "Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked" is a piece of theatrical GARBAGE ... and blames the disaster on a Jewish producer who personifies negative stereotypes about Jews.

Cross went on "Conan" last night ... and said filming the movie was "the most miserable experience I've ever had in my professional life" -- claiming the producer forced him at "legal gun point" to spend a week on a cruise ship, filming scenes in a massive full-body pelican costume.

Cross then attacked an unnamed female "Chipmunks" producer ... saying she was "the personification of what people think about when they think negatively about Jews."

Since there's only one female producer on the project -- Janice Karman -- it's likely he was referring to her.

In the end, Cross -- who also starred in the first two "Chipmunks" films -- urged viewers NOT to see the movie ... saying the whole thing is nothing more than a "big commercial for Carnival Cruise Lines."

Shut up you fucking baby.

Yeah he's been saying similar things over the past few weeks, but I think the anti-semitism is a new, nagl, twist.

anti-semitism is not quite accurate

calling it anti-semitism is not quite accurate, rather

Oh okay I guess he was disparaging an entirely other group then, my bad.

Cross is Jewish IIRC

^^^

I like him on Mr. Show and Arrested Development, but he seems like a colossal jackass in anything outside of that.

David Cross is the personification of what I think about when I think about annoying comedians.

ha, i was going to post this on the "is this anti-semitism" thread but i decided not to because of "hey, he's jewish" responses

claiming the producer forced him at "legal gun point" to spend a week on a cruise ship, filming scenes in a massive full-body pelican costume.

I wouldn't be surprised if the producer did that just to torture him and I would not blame him one whit.

I am shocked - SHOCKED - that David Cross would debase himself by playing a shitty role in a shitty movie

gets his career advice from Janeane Garofalo

http://ll-media.tmz.com/2012/01/10/011012-filming-chipmunks-tmz-1.jpg

This guy.

Guys I know Cross is Jewish, but he's still an asshole for trotting out the tired "every worst stereotype of a Jew" bullshit.

new "Chipmunks" - leaked yet?

"legal gun point"

But for real, fuck anyone that signs a three movie deal for a live action Chipmunks franchise and doesn't expect it to be a soul-sucking life experience.

haha

As Patton Oswalt said (pp): "Yeah I threw that Chipmunks screenplay across the room after I read it, but I guess you picked it up..."

Tough talk from the guy from King of Queens but you know.

He's been better at picking movies than Cross, though.

Anticipating Cross and Rollins in Chipmunks vs. Mighty Ducks.

don't drag king of queens into this

drag king of queens would be a good name for a drag king

seeing Patton on a 15-year old episode of Seinfeld totally blew my mind

http://walyou.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/Frog-Exploded-Photography.JPG

imagine telling someone "not to see the new chipmunks movie"

http://wheaton-md.patch.com/articles/white-knuckle-parenting-bad-children-s-movies-and-the-sacrifice-of-parenthood

My husband and I were prepared to roll our eyes at Chipwrecked, but I don't think either of us were prepared for how truly offensively bad it was going to be. As I sat there in the packed theater, I got angrier and angrier at the movie's mere existence.

Honestly, I am personally offended that David Cross spent the entire movie in a pelican suit and managed to still not be funny. I didn't know that was possible.

I hate to admit it, but I also lost a little bit of respect for my children because they liked the movie.

lol

I saw John Waters speak a couple weeks before Christmas and he did this whole bit about how he's obsessed with the Chipmunk movies. He'd be cross with Cross, I bet.

He also said something about fantasizing about Alvin but I blocked most of that part out.

I see what you did there. I want to see the kids review that says "honestly, I lost respect for my parents for not having my best interests at heart and keeping me away from this trash and protecting me from myself".

lol wait a couple years until that baby is old enough to beg you to take him to the movies. I bet you'll be watching some p trashy stuff yourself.

Oh I know, I'm bracing myself now. I'll be able to deal with some of the kids movies, but not these crapfests.

you can say no, let them watch the horrible ones on dvd

My kid has seen the chipmunk movies when she is visiting my in-laws, but we won't even buy the dvds. Kung Fu Panda is as bad as it gets (which, let's face it, is still pretty bad).

Those movies have David Cross in them as well. He loves shitty children's movies.

make them watch 'run ronnie run'

I hate to admit it, but I also lost a little bit of respect for my children because they liked the movie.

LOL

King of Queens is pretty awesome, yall.

I got stuck watching the first Chipmunks movie on TV with my dad and between all the shit-eating 'munks were ads about how you should buy your own .xxx domain name.

King of Queens is pretty awesome, yall.

Ew

King of Queens was an excellent TV show.

AVC: Let’s go briefly to the other end of the pleasant-experience spectrum. You had some sort of press-conference hullabaloo recently where you said you had a really bad experience on the third Chipmunks movie.

DC: Well, it wasn’t a press conference. I didn’t call a press conference to tell the world about my experience. I was actually doing press for Todd Margaret, and somebody asked me about it. And then, because I have that problem that not many people have where I’m honest, I answered the question honestly. I’m not gonna go into the whole thing. I’ve actually done a number of sets where I’ve talked about it, and I actually have a slideshow that I put together. I get a screen and talk through the experience and show some photos that I took. It had nothing to do with anybody but a couple producers. Everybody else was cool, and for the most part, for most of the people, it was our third movie together. Nobody was anything but professional. It was just a couple producers who were just… You know when you go through life and there are these occasions where, like, maybe your flight is delayed? And there’s nothing you can do about it, but somebody is a total fucking cunt or psycho asshole and they’re yelling and screaming at somebody who can do nothing about it. Or somebody’s at Starbucks and their muffin wasn’t right and they’re just pricks. Rude, abrasive, entitled pricks. And one of the most frustrating aspects about that is, you don’t have to be like that. That’s a choice you’re making, to be difficult and an asshole and bumming everybody out. And you’re just petty and immature, and that’s the kind of behavior and attitude and personality I apply to a couple of the producers.

They were just so shitty and vindictive. They’re weird. I’ve been doing this for 18 years, something like that, and I’ve been in a ton of shit. And nothing even came close to how disrespected I was made to feel in this movie. At one point they were like, “Hey, we’re paying you a lot of money.” Which is true—the third picture in a series, when you’re contracted, you’re legally bound to do it. I couldn’t get out of it, and I didn’t try to, but they threatened to sue me, and it was just really shitty for my co-workers. And then they would pretend to be nice to me. That was the other thing that was kind of funny, like, “Oh, everything’s cool. That’s just what we do.” You know that kind of Hollywood stereotype of the people who would be really shitty and then laugh it all off like, “Hey, that’s what we do! That’s part of the job, you know? I like to win. What do you want me to tell ya? I like to win.” That kind of thing. It’s just a gross way to live your life. And unnecessary. It’s a choice to be a shitty, awful person. Making other people miserable because it makes you feel better or more powerful. It’s not anything I’ve ever really experienced before in this capacity.

AVC: Did anyone attempt to hug it out with you?

DC: No. I think they really had kind of that kind of attitude, that, “Yeah, that’s what we do. You got your job, I got my job.” But I’ve never been around that before. You hear about it sometimes, but I’ve never personally experienced it. And it really pissed off everyone. I’m saying too much. That’s in the past, though. They did it. It’s done. So there you go.

AVC: You said you’re doing a slideshow; were you serious? Are you doing a stand-up bit about that?

DC: Oh yeah. I was on a cruise ship for a week. I didn’t have to be on the cruise ship, but I was made to be on the cruise ship. And I have a whole 20-minute-long thing about being on a cruise ship, working on the movie, and please, let me make it perfectly clear that this has nothing to do with the cast or the crew. They were all great. This was our third movie, we’re all friendly, everything was cool. The director and the first AD, all the ADs, really had my back. They were very sympathetic to what I was dealing with and they were all super-cool and went out of their way to try to make things better. But it really came down to two or three producers. But yeah, I talk about that. I have a slideshow from the cruise ship that I took. I just talk about what it’s like to be in Alvin And The Chipmunks: Chipwrecked, with the Fox producers.

AVC: Last question about the Chipmunks, and it’s really just an opportunity for you to make a joke. You said the first Chipmunks movie got you your place upstate, and the second one got you the landscaping. What are you doing with the third-movie money?

DC: I’m buying one of those cargo-ship crates of Fleshlights. Half I’ll use for myself and the other half I’ll donate to children, kind of a Toys For Tots kind of thing. I’ll give it to needy kids.

"And then, because I have that problem that not many people have where I’m honest, I answered the question honestly."

is there anyone who has uttered this sentence who hasn't then gone on to confirm that they are honestly an asshole?

yeah that part made me smh hardcore

"sorry for being REAL"

y'know, I found William H. Macy pretty funny in the Marmaduke movie

The Cross we have to bear.

To any and all who are aware of my Conan appearance in which I disparaged a particular producer on the movie “Alvin and the Chipmunks - Chipwrecked”, I would like to clarify the following; the producer in question was NOT Janice Karmen, the wife of Ross Bagadasorian (the son of Dave Bagadasorian, the creator of Alvin and the Chipmunks) as some have speculated. Janice and Ross were never anything but warm, giving, and gracious to me. From the first day I walked on the set for the first movie to wrapping the third. During the shooting of Chipwrecked they went out of their way daily to make sure that (as my negative treatment was well known to everyone involved) I was happy and they understood and appreciated my situation. Even, along with the director and the A.D’s , going so far as pleading my case with said particular producer. I have the utmost respect and appreciation for everyone else involved with the movie especially Ross and Janice who’s enthusiasm, energy and spirit I deeply admire and appreciate. I am truly sorry if this caused them any grief or upset. They’re really, really nice and I can’t imagine them ever behaving that way to anybody.

David Cross

oh man, just shut up

Sounds like Crossheads TP'd her house or something.

man the new david cross is still just leaking all over the place

This is still classic:

it's a single but I haven't heard it yet. I liked Shut Up OK but I think I overrated it now.
― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Wednesday, April 7, 2004 10:50 PM (7 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i thought you meant it's actually a single! like he's putting out a comedy single
― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, April 8, 2004 2:22 AM (7 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

with an extended 12-inch Bob Odenkirk remix
― Nate in ST.P (natedetritus), Thursday, April 8, 2004 2:25 AM (7 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

or a just-crowd-laughter dub
― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, April 8, 2004 2:26 AM (7 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

his new fillum

Opening in theaters in New York and Los Angeles on February 13

and available via BitTorrent as a Pay-What-You-Want release. The first film to collapse all windows and ask audiences to PAY-WHAT-THEY-WANT. Also, simultaneously releasing on iTunes, Amazon, Google Play and others.

http://www.indiewire.com/article/sundance-review-david-crosss-directorial-debut-hits-takes-shots-at-brooklyn-hipsters-and-libertarians

i like david cross but it's really funny to think about a time when people were anticipating the leak of his comedy album!

it's funny to think of people anticipating leaks of anything considering we currently have more access to amazing music/movies/TV/comedy that already exists than one person could ever listen to or watch in a lifetime

Yes but we always need new sources of GIF material.

i'm inconsolably sad

(about the last two posts)

^^^ good title for an ILX country song

Sub Pop PR, makes you so hungry you'll scavenge for the leak.