Commonly used phrases that inexplicably bug you

However, you are not living in England and therefore a tad less likely to come across statements beginning in 'I'm afraid', 'we regret' etc. I always take perverse pleasure in saying they're not or they do not, just to be an arse.

Also, the winner of banality and idiocy in overused phrases (and yes it's UNCOOL) is AT THE END OF THE DAY.

"I'm going for a shit, shower and a shave" - Usually used by people who wear rugby shirts when not playing rugby, on top of another shirt.

"Talk to the hand because the fuckwit isn't listening" - What I wish they would say, but never do. I remember Andi Peters did this to Britney Spears on that T4 Special of his, and she laughed as if she hadn't heard it 36582 times already.

I also hate it when people just say, "let's order Chinese", not "Chinese food". But that one's really stupid on my part, I think.

And I hate the way the word "absolutely" is used these days, too. It's so talk show speak.

"How cute is that"? How annoying as hell is that? But Suzy's "at the end of the day" is #1.

;)

"well I tried to do it/legion of other excusing terms". As discussed on the good intentions thread, I fucking hate people using cop out terms like these when they have fucked up. Is a simple "I fucked up, sorry" too much to ask for. This is how I try and treat my friends if I'm the guilty party.

"talking behind my back". 100 percent of people that ever use this phrase say stuff like "if you've got something to say say it to my face" when in reality they're such blubbering messes that they can't handle anything being said to their face. I mean christ if the meaning of all this talk "behind someones back" is that they're a knob then do they want that said to their face? Very few people want that kind of direct approach, but anyone who does is admirable.

I mean when people are bugging you about something pointless its perfect.

Ally shouldn't ever come to London if she doesn't think people talk like ILE in real life.

"Like, hello"; "Puh-leeze" etc. - really bad. You're not a sitcom character.

Or even worse "you've got to learn some tolerance". Of course ignore the fact you're pointing out something that irritates you right now because it's done in a sanctimonious way so it can't be intolerant can it? Christ that really gets me

I just realised I have the classic 'can't stand that phrase' story. At 15 I had my first boyfriend, loved him continually for next 8 years, though relationship only lasted 3 months. How it ended was I saw him on bus and he sat with me, when he got up to leave he said to me 'Take it easy.' TAKE IT EASY? It was all over.

why was i not informed of this earlier?

"Bite me" - Oh, believe me, I'd love to if I weren't afraid of catching something.

Also, any cliche on the order of "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." So much for valuing the truth, eh? Totalitarian thinking begins in kindergarten.

I'm so sick of overused 'hip' modern slang that I've considered adopting ludicrously outdated slang, a la David Lynch. "Golly gee whiz why jeepers heck yeah you old son of a gun!"

Is it possible to live without using any slang whatsoever?

British people saying 'don't go there' drives me nuts. My friend Esther does this, I glare, she apologises.

Also, any football metaphors (American or otherwise) eg. 'it's a game of two halves'.

I often deliberately add "in a very real sense", "if you will" and "and indeed" just to annoy. (i think this is a mark-and-lard- ism?) things like "rythym is, in a very real sense, a dancer" and "woo, and indeed, hoo"

I also find IMHO looks kind of snooty.

Anyone on an advert who does what the Mad one describes (5-9-9) should be shot. Also, I HAAAAAAAAATE people who use 'dollar' or 'pound' to describe a plural amount of money. Nothing in the whole world makes a person sound so THICK as doing this.

even though singular antecedents for forms of the pronoun they are attested in the finest English authors since Middle English times?

I hate to harp on. Take it to the grammar fiends thread!

"take care" is weird when you think about it, it's almost foreboding

yes!

"<x> is lame" - a lazy remark by people who can't be bothered to formulate a proper argument about why they don't like something. Similarly "meh" when talking about someone else's efforts.

I'm not a very big fan of "smash" when used in a sexual connotation.

My boyfriend is starting to hate "not really," because I use it constantly to mean "not actually" and he always hears it as "not that much."

even though singular antecedents for forms of the pronoun they are attested in the finest English authors since Middle English times?

I hate to harp on. Take it to the grammar fiends thread!

I may do! There are *tons* of examples of poor grammar/usage in 'proper writing', but that's not actually relevant. We don't use correct grammar just to be 'correct' or to write like the adults do; grammar should function so that we say exactly what we mean, as clearly as possible.

I am also inexplicably bugged by student essays that begin 'Erasmus remarked that...'

I would totally start a 'horrible student papers' thread if it weren't totally unethical and sort of nasty.

DO IT DO IT DO IT

HOTMAIL ACCT, ANON NAME, DO IT

"<x> is lame" - a lazy remark by people who can't be bothered to formulate a proper argument about why they don't like something. Similarly "meh" when talking about someone else's efforts.

-- snoball, Thursday, November 29, 2007 3:52 PM (48 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

wvs

Sheesh.

pffft.

"Epictetus noted drily to a colleague that..."

i too would like to read particularly cringeworthy excerpts

i can't remember if this has been mentioned, but:

"lighted" vs "lit"

why "drunk" sometimes (i.e. "had drunk") and "drank" others?

i have also seen "grinded" rather than "ground"

woops wrong thread

"lighted" gets on my tits though

Politicians (usually) saying "I put it to you that..." or "I would say to you that..." - just fucking say it! Don't tell me you're saying it before saying it. I put it to you that you're stalling and you think this shit sounds more sincere than "Um..."

DO IT DO IT DO IT
HOTMAIL ACCT, ANON NAME, DO IT

i too would like to read particularly cringeworthy excerpts

This would make me something like bizarro HOOS. Still, I'll think about it.

i don't like "standing on line" instead of "standing in line." it bugs me because it sounds internetty or something.

come up with some other indeterminate pronoun.

"make no mistake"

popularized by Dubya/Cheney = FUCK YOU WHOEVER SAYS THIS

"mark my words"

"across it" as in "i just wanted to make sure you were across that" or "is anyone across it over on your end?"

I imagine there's a tone of voice and a demeanor that will let you say any of these things. Semi-ironic works for me sometimes. I love to pull out weird colloquialisms and cliches, just because people know I'm not the kind of person who uses them.

what does "across it" mean?

i'm reading it like, "I'm on it," but the the extra fun imagery of , like, having a project laid out on a board room table and then lustily sprawling on it.

"No disrespect..." usually followed by something disrespectful.

"nothing personal"... followed by something totally personal

INTERNET ONLY: I hate 'Er', 'Um' or 'Uh' when used as the first word in someone's reply to a comment, because it comes off as feebly trying not to cause offence but very patronising at the same time.

kenan has got it pretty much, it's a britishism which is like "aware and informed of it and prepared to deal with it if necessary"

xpost YES

i have never encountered this bizarre 'across it' thing.

'and so forth and so on'

"blase blase" used to mean "blah blah." i heard our office mgr at the time say it , but i figured it was just her own malapropism. then suddenly i heard it everwhere (or so it seemed), and it drove me nuts.

Some time in the past five years the general USA public mass-shifted from such sensible greetings such as 'hello', 'hi', or 'good morning' to the immensely irritating "How're you doing?".

It is immensely irritating because it is a question, not a greeting, but none (as in not one) of the people who use this phrase have the smallest interest in getting an answer; they treat it as a statement, or more accurately as a conventional blurt. They might as well be saying "boo" or "yowza".

There seems to me no polite way to respond. By the time I say, "I'm doing fine, and you?", my interlocutor has already turned aside or walked on by. Irritates the fuck out of me.

i say "good, yourself?" HOTCHA! TABLES TURNED!

You can get stabbed to death, beaten to death, poisoned to death, so why not shot? Or are all of these offensive?

Again, the thing is that being shot once is an instantaneous and singular thing, however the "to" implies repetition and some amount of time passing.

Those other "to"s make more sense - stabbing usually involves more than one stab, beaten definitely implies more than a single hit - poisoned is similar here but is so often done "over time" that it doesn't bug me as much.

SORRY this is all so morbid!!!

shits & giggles. that's my least fave. in a big way. i try not to hate the people who say it. i think most people think it's inoffensive enough. but i just picture someone shitting and giggling and i want to jump off a cliff.

someone has probably already brought it up, but that whole "speak to" thing makes me crazy. "let me speak to that". that seemingly came out of nowhere until it was everywhere. kinda like how one day everyone stopped saying "same thing" and started saying "same difference". i still don't know how that happened.

INTERNET ONLY: I hate 'Er', 'Um' or 'Uh' when used as the first word in someone's reply to a comment, because it comes off as feebly trying not to cause offence but very patronising at the same time.

god, seward otm with "shits and giggles."

UGH

"having said that"

everyone stopped saying "same thing" and started saying "same difference".

i hate "same difference," it makes no sense!

http://www.myparkmag.co.uk/images/xfactor-sdifference2.jpg

Who, us?

"Been there, done that."

Ugh! FUCK YOU!!!!!!

Colonel Poo OTM! wtf guys

TS: "shits and giggles" vs. "shits and grins"

I have a WoW character named Grinz. Should I make one named Schitz?

Referring to men and women as "males" and "females." "A 39 year old male was apphrehended last night ..." I assume this started with cops, but it's spread to the news and other areas now. Maybe the speakers are not sure of the species but solid on the sex.

so they should say like... "A 39 year old Human male"?

"Be careful!" after you've just tripped over something. No shit, dudes. It's not like I'm going to go back, do the EXACT same thing with more care and gracefulness.

Maybe I was just a clumsy child or something, and can't handle hearing it now.

(I totally was a clod)

Referring to men and women as "males" and "females." "A 39 year old male was apphrehended last night ..." I assume this started with cops, but it's spread to the news and other areas now. Maybe the speakers are not sure of the species but solid on the sex.

-- nickn, Thursday, 29 November 2007 22:08 (29 minutes ago) Link

Yeah, this always makes me think of animals.