Have you met your soulmate?

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This is a great question... Lets hear some replies to this. :)

― Gale Deslongchamps, Sunday, 28 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Thought I did.

― Ned Raggett, Sunday, 28 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

What happened Ned?

― Gale Deslongchamps, Sunday, 28 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Long story.

― Ned Raggett, Sunday, 28 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

no i havent

― anthony, Sunday, 28 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

arf, arf, arf. I met my soulmate, but he was a bumblebee! I kept him in a coke bottle. He flew away.

― rainy, Sunday, 28 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

sorry, I think you wanted serious answers.

No.

― rainy, Sunday, 28 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i think so, but then they disappeared around the same time my soul did

― Geoff, Sunday, 28 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ahhh you folks have time.! Sometimes they find you! :) Gale

― Gale Deslongchamps, Sunday, 28 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Jeez, everybody is saying no..... so maybe I have to wait a little longer for that dreadfully inevitable NO!

― Honda, Sunday, 28 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I think the concept of soulmate betrays the effort that it takes to mantain a realtionship. It takes away the humaness and makes it fuzzy and divine , alot like love

― anthonyeaston, Sunday, 28 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Nope. But I can wait forever.

― Arthur, Sunday, 28 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Soulmates are fake.

― helen fordsdale, Sunday, 28 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Word, Anthony.

― Josh, Sunday, 28 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I just tried to seduce someone. That's about as close as I get to a soulmate these days ;-)

― turner, Sunday, 28 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I'll be your soulmate... any takers?

― you will forget me, Sunday, 28 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I don't believe in soulmates.

― Tom, Sunday, 28 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I prefer Soul-Glo.

― bnw, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I thought I had too (and I do believe in them, which surprises cynical old me) only to realise that I was deluding myself.

― chris, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I think the concept of soul mates is, um to put it delicately, crap.

― smythe, mr smythe, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

er nope...but I reckon she looks someting like Rachael Leigh Cook...so, if you see her, give her my e-mail address...

― james, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

no, or to be slighting to people of my acquaintance, I hope not :)

― Menelaus Darcy, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"Soulmates are fake."

-- helen fordsdale

So. Are. You.

― Trevor, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Trevor, if you have issues with a poster to the board then please taken them off-forum. Thanks.

― Tom, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I was told: walking through the forest, you keep thinking you hear a tiger. But when you really hear a tiger, you fucking know it. I usually think I've met my soulmate but presumably it must be requited to be for real, right? At the moment I'm juggling 3 potentials (none of whom have any idea) and too scared to even let one in, in case they aren't. What a perspective-free mess.

― chris, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

My soul-mate lives in the mirror. And in my dreams.

― toraneko, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Tom, can I just make it perfectly clear that I don't have any issues with any of the posters on this list. Unfortunately the converse isn't true, but that's not something I'm prepared to discuss on a public message board. Thanks.

― Trevor, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

? is a soul, let alone a mate?

― Geoff, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

A friend tried to give me his soul today. He sat it on my shoulder but I said I rejected it because it was dirty and old.

― toraneko, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I don't believe in the concept of soulmates, yet several years ago was devastated when I couldn't have the man who seemed to mesh with me. (Seriously, people we knew would say "Oh the two of you make a great couple." Feh.)

― j.lu, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Christ I think I just might have.

Ask me next week when I'm sober.

One day of college this week so it's a write off. Expect more drunken posting a la 5.00am this morning.

― Ronan, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I sold my soul for a doughnut.

― Nicole, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I sold it for rock and roll and got back early 50s MOR instead.

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yes.

― Ally, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I don't believe in the concept because it is just too damn depressing. If I have one soulmate in the world, what if he gets eaten by a tiger before we meet? Or immediately after? What if we never meet at all? What if I'm married to someone else? I've got an utter conviction that if there is such a person we will NEVER meet, and I am not a believer in predestination. Too much trouble, I say. I'd rather just MAKE it work.

― Maria, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I think most people could probably be long-term happy with about 1 in 100 other people, if they worked at it. Then I think about 1 in 100 of those people, they might be really happy with. Somewhere around that level you might start talking about "soulmates". I think society overvalues 'soulmates' and 'true love' and undervalues the gritty business of 'working at it', generally, because society will always overvalue simple things over complicated ones.

― Tom, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Do you have to believe in only one soulmate?

I reckon there must be loads of people on earth I could wuv 4 eva. It's just a question of bumping into them or following them home after putting something in their dr......bumping into them yeah.

I've met my soulmate, I just have to make her realise we're soulmates if she doesn't already.

― Ronan, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Tim is right incidentally. I've no idea of the offline origins of the Trevor/Helen thing and I don't want to know. All I know is that I've seen no on-forum provocation of Trevor at all and that if he keeps making digs at Helen on the forum they'll be treated as personal abuse and subject to deletion accordingly. Problems with other posters that start offline should stay offline.

― Tom, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Have it your way Tom.

What would you prefer, that I post under a different array of pseudonyms just like, ahem, "Helen" does? I emailed you off-list and did you the courtesy of explaining the situation, so why you should publicly criticise me in this manner I don't understand.

Personally, I'm sick of the whole thing and I want this to be the very last I read of it. Okay?

― Trevor, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Trevor - very sorry. I'm at work, I won't see your e-mail until I get home, so everything I've said here has been unaware of its very existence.

I'm not taking sides - if Helen was using her pseudonyms to attack you on-forum for an off-forum matter (WHATEVER it is) I'd be saying the same to her.

― Tom, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yeah, I've met my soulmate a few times. I wonder if this time, it'll work out. See, problem with people is they get bored and they change, but they rope themselves into permanent relationships because they are insecure, needy, or just want some stability and lasting love. Unless you can agree not to become furious when one of you decides to finally get some strange, and unless you can agree to not be hurt when one of you loses interest in the other one sexually, and unless you can agree not to be upset when one of you refuses to comply with the simple everyday kind of give-and-take, and unless you can agree to not be bothered that s/he is now totally disinterested in keeping fit and healthy, and unless you can agree to accept his/her sexual, mental and emotional limitations, there's really no point in a soulmate, except to have friendly company to grow old with. I don't think I'm jaded, so don't say that.

― Nude Spock, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I think I agree with everything Tom has said here (I mean, about the original thread). The concept of soulmates is extremely overvalued in society, because it's kind of a quick fix, easy answer. People like those. Ronan: Interesting question. I've always thought soulmate meant one specific other person, but I don't see why it can't apply to multiple people. It makes the concept less depressing.

― palpable, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I R saying no. I R thinking it is a good line to play on emotional people you want to sleep with tho.

― I R Fatnick, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Anthony, Josh, and Fatnick - ON THE COIN

the (i think?) platonic notion that all humans are descended from some two-headed race of doublepeople, and that our purpose in life is to find our "other half" is part of the lie that almost all couples have to tell themselves, that there is only one person in this world for you. not a pernicious lie as lies go, and makes the living pleasant... but if something doesn't work out and you're back alone again... watch how fast you work to untie that pleasant package! there IS no one person. but with work you can make it feel like that.

― Tracer Hand, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I thought I met mine; but I also agree that it is a bad concept in a way, setting you up for a lot of expectations that may go unfulfilled. It's awfully romantic, tho.

I finally gave my ex, my true love, the only person I've ever dated who even came close to meeting my expectations, my former best friend, whatever a call last Friday, asking after 3 months can you please give me a little closure and tell me what happened, I thought things were so great. "I wasn't happy. I'm not meant to be in a relationship now. I need to be by myself. You were great." Ok, so it was more than I got from him before. Still kinda vague, but whatever, it's so over now... If I could do everything over again, I wouldn't want him to change a single thing; he was perfect for me exactly as he was. But as Maria was saying, if he was indeed my soulmate, where does that leave me for the rest of my life? Or can we have several soul mates? I hope so.

― Sean, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I'm surrounded by soulmates. They're called close friends...

― Brian MacDonald, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

two years pass...

None of us really has any idea about our own souls and so how would we know what a soul mate is? We have vague impressions most of us of what they are and most of us of what they should be, but who is to say, if they do exist, that we have to meet them or that, intrinsically, they belong to us exclusively? If there is such a thing then if you never met your soul mate would it matter? If you did and it didn't work out would it matter? Does it have to work out? We have expectations that are unreal and when they are not met then we claim that the source of all those unreal expectations is fictitious. The world is a blend of the mystical and the mundane and if we lean either way too far then, I think, we miss out on our soul-mates. The middle way is the best way and most difficult road to travel, but in the end, I think it is the one that will lead you to a point where you will have no obstacles at all standing between you and a clear view of your soul-mate. The trouble is, as others have said here, we want it now and we want it the way we want it. Life just really doesn't work that way does it?

― Lanny MacDonald, Thursday, 29 January 2004 03:26 (twenty-one years ago)

What a bizarre thread revival. Random googlers...

I'll tell you something. I've had a lot more luck with love since I stopped believing in soul mates.

― The River Kate (kate), Thursday, 29 January 2004 03:33 (twenty-one years ago)

i miss fatnick

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 29 January 2004 03:34 (twenty-one years ago)

I think Wreckless Eric nailed it on his great Whole Wide World single, wherein the character believes there is one perfect woman in the world for him, and he is seeking her, imagining her impatiently waiting on a beach in Tahiti or somewhere for him to show up.

From about late 1978 to early 2001 I'd have said yes, I have found mine, but then we split up after 23 years. I just think some people suit each person better than others, and you try to find a really good fit. I don't really see any mystical element to this.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 29 January 2004 17:59 (twenty-one years ago)

"I just think some people suit each person better than others, and you try to find a really good fit. I don't really see any mystical element to this. "
definitely

― Felonious Drunk (Felcher), Thursday, 29 January 2004 18:21 (twenty-one years ago)

No. Nothing even close. (God, what a sad-ass answer.)

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 29 January 2004 18:53 (twenty-one years ago)

No. I have met a person that I am confident I get on well enough with to spend the rest of my life with, but I don't think that's the same.

― ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 29 January 2004 19:07 (twenty-one years ago)

No such thing as soul...

― Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Thursday, 29 January 2004 19:08 (twenty-one years ago)

btw, that doesn't mean I'm settling for anything, or that I think there's a better person out there who I haven't met yet and would leave my husband for if I met him. I just meant I don't believe that there's only one person for everyone, however I'm quite happy with the one I've got.

― ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 29 January 2004 19:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Cover those internet tracks, Ailsa!

― Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Thursday, 29 January 2004 19:10 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't think he sees things any differently. I just didn't phrase it very well.

― ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 29 January 2004 19:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Jeanne, I think you're my soulmate.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 29 January 2004 19:18 (twenty-one years ago)

*desperately deduces the level of slyness of Nickalicious's answer*

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 29 January 2004 19:43 (twenty-one years ago)

That was so sweet!! Awww. :D

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 29 January 2004 20:15 (twenty-one years ago)

RE: Original question: Yes!

― Orbit (Orbit), Thursday, 29 January 2004 20:18 (twenty-one years ago)

I sometimes have good conversations about soul music with my good pal Tim Hopkins. Does that mean we are soul mates? I hope so...

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 29 January 2004 21:37 (twenty-one years ago)

I DEFINITELY believe in soilmates, however...

*oink*

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 29 January 2004 22:41 (twenty-one years ago)

It's better than soiledmates, if only marginally.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 29 January 2004 22:44 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.unitedmedia.com/comics/peanuts/meet_the_gang/images/meet_pig_pen_big.gif

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 29 January 2004 22:44 (twenty-one years ago)

as it turns out NO

― Begs2Differ, Thursday, 29 January 2004 22:54 (twenty-one years ago)

that sounds so sad....

― Orbit (Orbit), Thursday, 29 January 2004 22:56 (twenty-one years ago)

No, and I'm reminded of it every fucking day.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 29 January 2004 22:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Have you met your soulmates and then lost them?

― Orbit (Orbit), Thursday, 29 January 2004 23:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes...

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 30 January 2004 00:01 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't believe in the concept, but damn...

― oops (Oops), Friday, 30 January 2004 00:02 (twenty-one years ago)

I have, but she hasn't written me back on friendster...

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Friday, 30 January 2004 00:13 (twenty-one years ago)

So no.
(xpost)

― oops (Oops), Friday, 30 January 2004 00:14 (twenty-one years ago)

As per my post from a couple years ago upthread, I thought I had found him but then lost him. I guess if he broke up with me he wasn't my soul mate after all. It seems sometimes like I'll never meet anyone who meets that standard, but these things usually take you by surprise.

Also, there is the concept that not everyone finds the perfect one, and are going to be alone no matter how deserving they may seem. Hopefully this isn't the case for any of us, but we're not given any guarantees.

― Sean (Sean), Friday, 30 January 2004 00:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I believe that there is such a thing as your soulmate but yeah, I don't see why you can't have multiple potential soulmates.

BIG CONFESSION TIME.

HELP/ ADVICE ALSO NEEDED.

I've been with my partner for a year now who I care for beyond belief and adore. Yes I am happy. Very much so most of the time. However when I was in high school this guy handed me letters on a few occasions. This was four years ago. I then met with him for the first time after two years. This was a more formal meeting, not the first time I had seen him in two years as I did pass him on the street a few times. Anyway, more to the point. Sometimes I get these thoughts into my head that maybe I'm supposed to be with him. That maybe I'm not with the right person. I just feel that there has always been something there, don't know exactly what, and it feels as though there always will be this *something*.

The thing is, he also posts on ilx and is pretty damn smart so if he reads this post it is guaranteed he will now know.

I feel terrible about all of this.

I wouldn't hurt my partner for the world. I just don't know why I feel like this or why the hell my head is thinking about all of this.

Maybe I'm just confused. Guess I do have a lot on my mind at the moment.

― SVS, Friday, 30 January 2004 02:18 (twenty-one years ago)

The thing is, he also posts on ilx and is pretty damn smart so if he reads this post it is guaranteed he will now know.

I wouldn't hurt my partner for the world

these two statements are kinda strange. if you respect your partner, you will talk to yr partner, not ilx!

― Orbit (Orbit), Friday, 30 January 2004 02:23 (twenty-one years ago)

When I thought I'd found my soulmate there was no other person in the world could've dragged me from her... so chances are if you're even thinking about someone else it aint working...

― C-Man (C-Man), Friday, 30 January 2004 02:42 (twenty-one years ago)

That's also what I am afraid of: that it might not be working even though everything seems fine. That maybe I don't feel the same anymore. I'm scared that it might not work out or maybe this is just a phase. I'm just very confused.

― SVS, Friday, 30 January 2004 02:47 (twenty-one years ago)

What I hate about the idea of the "soulmate" is that there is only one, if things work out with that one then you're set for life, if you screw it up then you're screwed for life so you better be absolutely sure the person you're sort of less than absolutely happy with isn't actually the "soulmate" in question because otherwise you're doomed, if you meet someone and it takes some effort to make the relationship work then they can't possibly be your "soulmate," etc. Pure crap.

If finding a partner is a concern for you, as with many other life situations, there are multiple possible correct decisions, and many more possible wrong decisions. You don't have to make THE correct decision; you have to make A correct decision.

― Douglas (Douglas), Friday, 30 January 2004 04:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Grass is always greener, eh SVS?

― oops (Oops), Friday, 30 January 2004 05:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Oops is wise.

― Orbit (Orbit), Friday, 30 January 2004 05:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Countdown to that statement making the LOL thread starting...NOW

― oops (Oops), Friday, 30 January 2004 05:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Bbbut I really *meant* it!

― Orbit (Orbit), Friday, 30 January 2004 05:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh I know you did. Bless your pretty lil heart.

― oops (Oops), Friday, 30 January 2004 05:33 (twenty-one years ago)

*blursh*

― Orbit (Orbit), Friday, 30 January 2004 05:34 (twenty-one years ago)

When I thought I'd found my soulmate there was no other person in the world could've dragged me from her...

Unless she gained 50 pounds.

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Friday, 30 January 2004 05:36 (twenty-one years ago)

zing!

― Orbit (Orbit), Friday, 30 January 2004 05:40 (twenty-one years ago)

and then i'd steal her! hahah

― the surface noise (electricsound), Friday, 30 January 2004 05:48 (twenty-one years ago)

you rock, sir!

― Orbit (Orbit), Friday, 30 January 2004 05:49 (twenty-one years ago)

People misunderstand what a soulmate is. It isnt "the one right love and theres no other". Well not the way I know it anyway. A soulmate, and you can have many, is a person who comes into your life who affects you, who makes your life change somehow - you learn a life lesson from them. They might be a lover, a friend, whatever. They might hurt you, but thats ok because you might have learnt how to be a better lover, or less naive, or more attentive etc etc. You might meet someone for one night in a bar but find it inspires you to read a new author, or see a venue you never went to before, or who knows what.

Thats what soul mates are - plural - and sure, in that context they certainly exist.

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 30 January 2004 05:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Trayce that's a great definition... so much more realistic and descriptive (as opposed to prescriptive) than the trad. 'one true soulmate' jive.
I like to think that there are many people who have taught me life lessons, for good or bad, and i wouldn't change any of them, not even the BADDIEZ and HATAZ. I also would like to immodestly assume that there are a number of people whose lives I've ummmm...enriched?... too.
I've DEFINITELY become a 'better' person as a result of having the emotional stuffing punched out of me before. i became a better stuffing-puncher myself at any rate.
um I'm drunnk.

― emjj, Friday, 30 January 2004 09:00 (twenty-one years ago)

But Trayce, this is the Humpty Dumpty approach to language, surely! (I don't actually mean that as a criticism.)

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 30 January 2004 18:19 (twenty-one years ago)

You people are all hippies and you believe in god

― TOMBOT, Friday, 30 January 2004 18:40 (twenty-one years ago)

>>But Trayce, this is the Humpty Dumpty approach to language, surely! (I don't actually mean that as a criticism.)

you're calling her... an egg?

― emjj, Saturday, 31 January 2004 00:17 (twenty-one years ago)

I met my cell mate once, but we left it at that.

― jim wentworth (wench), Saturday, 31 January 2004 04:05 (twenty-one years ago)

luna OTM

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Saturday, 31 January 2004 05:27 (twenty-one years ago)

KISSES! TO! SARAH!

― NA (Nick A.), Saturday, 31 January 2004 06:07 (twenty-one years ago)

aw...

― Orbit (Orbit), Saturday, 31 January 2004 06:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Martin - I'm not quite sure what you mean! D'you mean its a little simplistic and nursery-rhymey? I guess I can dig that.

FWIW, to address what Tom said, I don't believe in any damn gods, but I do believe in making the most of the experiences life throws at you, I mean what else can you do?

― Trayce (trayce), Saturday, 31 January 2004 08:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Wasn't it Humpty Dumpty who claimed that "words mean exactly what I wamt them to mean"? I'm probably getting my Carroll characters mixed up.I meant that what you say is a fine thing to talk about, but I don't think you can pretend it's what the phrase actually means to anyone else.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 31 January 2004 17:03 (twenty-one years ago)

"And this was where it taught me what happens when I come across someone indivisible from myself. Or when a trick of personalities encourages conjunctions I should not risk. When I meet someone who needs no acceptance, because they are already home. They are not a change, but an expansion, like the flavour of a kiss, where one mouth finds another and presses into somewhere not new but warm and familiar and much more than before.

I learned about being alone. There was more of me to be alone with now. It hurt."

― xx, Saturday, 7 February 2004 14:39 (twenty-one years ago)

While everyone likes to think of themselves as completely unique, humans are not as different from one another as they might believe. If you've found one person out there that you really feel that you click with and feel comfortable with, chances are there are thousands more just like him or her. Thinking "only one person can ever truly understand me" is unrealistic and self-important; there are many others just like you that you simply haven't met.

I've met lots of soul mates. However, I often tend to be involved in long lasting relationships, so I have met several 'soul mates' (where the familiarity of an old friendship is there though I have never met them, along with the distinct chemistry of strong mutual attraction) that I have had to just exchange some friendly banter with and wave good-bye to.

― webcrack (music=crack), Saturday, 7 February 2004 16:04 (twenty-one years ago)

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