Worst Birthday Evah!

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

Stale birthday cake to anyone who can top this worst birthday ever anecdote......

It was in the summer of 2000. I'd got time off work to spend a long weekend with my then girlfriend, having a massive row with my boss and almost losing my job in the process. Still, at the time I naively thought she was worth it. We'd arranged to meet up with friends in town in the afternoon, and my girlfriend decided that I should go and meet them on my own because she was "busy" helping her parents at their shop.

So I went and met her friends in town, blissfully unaware that she was arranging a rendezvous with some Portugese guy I'd never even met before. She finally turned up at the club, and spent the whole evening wandering around looking for him. I finally twigged something was going on here, and got the truth out of her. Anyway, this guy turns up and they're all over each other. Again I confront her and she runs off, refusing to speak to me again.

Finally we go back to her house with some of her friends, and she sneaks out for a midnight meeting with this guy, returning several hours later in the early hours of the morning. Not surprisingly I ditched the bitch shortly afterwards.

Yep, that was my worst birthday ever. Fess up yours if you dare......

― Richard Hell, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

not as bad as yours (phew!) but i've had to play gigs on my last 2 birthdays.

― katie, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Here comes baby huey... Richard, you have a funny swagger, apparantly. So far, every time I've seen you, I've been with someone who says, "You can tell by the walk" or words along those lines.

― Nude Spock, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Again, Spock. Only in English this time.

― Richard Hell, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Mine isn't that bad...though still pretty fresh in my memory since it was this year. It involved bee stings, psycho lutherans, and ridicule on the ilx boards thanks to Mr. Kortbein.

― Nicole, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Ah well, guess I'll have to eat this stale cake myself. By the way Mr.Spock, keep taking those pills mate!

― Richard Hell, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

As I explained to some of you, part of the reason for DG-Fest was to ensure a good birthday party after years of shite ones. Here is a selection of the worst:
13th: went to Chessington. It rained.
16th: went to SW's house for drunken stoopidity, but instead her girlfriend's sister turns up having just split up with her husband and so my birthday party = listening to some total stranger moan about her husband.
20th: nothing at all.

― DG, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Last year I was all alone on my birthday. *Nobody* remembered and the only calls I got were from my mom and brother. I bought myself a cherry pie and a bottle of champagne to celebrate by myself but then I couldn't open the bottle of champagne and just had to have cherry pie. :(

― Samantha, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Wait a second, you're tellin' me nobody's ever told you you've got one hell of an original walk? It looks like you should fall over backwards, yet you defy gravity and look cool in the process.

― Nude Spock, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Sam - that sounds like a very lonesome birthday! I hope you don't have anymore like that. Cherry pie sounds yummy.

Spock - you shouldn't comment on the way people walk because then they might start to take notice of it themselves and forget how to walk at all! Didn't you have that story book in which the caterpillar forgets how to walk when you were a child?

Dud Birthdays - my mum and dad took me to Pizza Hut for my 22nd birthday (I didn't have any friends) and when I ate six bowls of their chocolate mousse mum said we had to leave because she couldn't watch my gluttony anymore. I was only just getting started.

― toraneko, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Spock, I've been told I have a distinctive walk before, so you must indeed have seen me in the flesh, so to speak. I was not aware I was been stalked by a distinctive walk fetishist. From now on, I will be forced to perambulate on roller skates in order to throw you off my scent.

― Richard Hell, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Ha, no, I just happen to see you around and below 14th street alot. You used to walk right past where I worked and took smoke breaks with every so often (16th street). Actually, I've never been the one that noticed you. It was always a girl! Imagine that. The girls dig you and your walk!

― Nude Spock, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

One of them, I found out second-hand through my relatives that my father had died a few weeks ago... (I never really knew my father)

Another, my great-grandmother had a stroke in the middle of opening my present.

Far less tragic, but I was turned down by a girl at one of them a few years ago.

Before and after all the above, they've all been pretty great.

― Brian MacDonald, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Monterey, California. One of the worst decisions of my life - to accept free plane tickets to hang out and vacation with my ex- girlfriend. We rented a cabin in Big Sur. We planned hikes. We brought guitars and guide books. We got extremely busy in the sack and on the beach. We hated each other. After a endless string of meaningless arguments we manage to find the Monterey Aquarium without killing each other, it is of course incredible (especially the little sea otters who are always scrubbing their faces), and we go to the British Bulldog or Salty Duck or some other English-themed bar in the "downtown" area, apparently the only bar that stays open past 1. It's my birthday. Fish and chips. No vinegar. What. tha. fuck. Alright I say, squeezing lemon all over the "chips". Fine. Portia just stares at me. "What did you just do?" "Huh?" "You just squeezed lemon out all over the fries we're sharing." "Yeah... you don't want any?" "NOW you're asking me?" ET FUCKING CETERA on my birthday too I couldn't BELIEVE it. I went home early.

― Tracer Hand, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

My dad's from Carmel and I know the area, Tracer, so I do agree with you that it's a beautiful place and ergo a *terrible* place to have a bad romantic patch, which thankfully I've avoided in that spot. And yes, the otters ROOL.

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Richard Hell, your name is EXCELLENT!

Your birthday sounds foul and hideous. My birthdays are always awesome, but my Christamases ALWAYS suck the kumara, I am usually alone at Christmas. The worst one was when I ate a whole bag of chips and drank two bottles of wine in front of some terrible Christmas movie, then my friends rang up from Wellington and I cried like a jerk.

arf.

― rainy, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"cried like a jerk", yeah that's how i cry too.
worst ever birthday - the next one, i bet.

― duane, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.