Greatest hits of scriptsales.com

A joke that tells itself.

Title: Dave Chappelle's Family History of the World
Log line: Chappelle will play his family members at various points in history as he chronicles his family's fictitious involvement in momentous events, from biblical times to the present day.

What the hell is their enemy going to be, OrphansRUsCo, led by Mr. Rat Bastard?

I am now thoroughly convinced that there is no reason in the world why I can't be published.

...who was rejected last year from a prime position serving at the Getty Museum and has said that this script was apparently 'therapeutic.'

Title:       Napoleon and Betsy
Log line: A friendship develops between Napoleon and a young British girl, who observes his final years.
Writer:    Rebecca B. Kennedy
Agent:     n/a
Buyer:     Lions Gate
Price:       n/a
Genre:     Drama
Logged:   3/19/04
More:      Pitch from Rebecca B. Kennedy and actress Scarlett Johansson.  Melanie Johannson, Alexandra Milchan and Gilles Arondeau will produce.  Scarlett Johansson will star.

Hahahahaha!

RUNNNNNNNNNNN!

Well, obviously their plans failed miserably.

Wouldn't War of the Worlds be public domain by now?

Title:       Exorcism for Dummies
Log line: A slacker pretends he is an exorcist and then is stunned to discover he actually has the gift and must recapture the nasty spirits he has accidentally unleashed on the world.
Writer:    Susanna Hoffs Roach, Brian Stampnitsky and Charley Stickney
Agent:     Brian Greenbaum at CAA (Hoffs)
Buyer:     Revolution Studios
Price:       n/a
Genre:     Comedy
Logged:   5/5/04
More:      Jennifer and Suzanne Todd will produce.  Todd Garner will executive produce.  No director or cast has been attached.

I'm sad to say that I know this, but this was the plot for an episode of Boy Meets World, the sitcom starring Fred Savage's brother.

Title: Duck for President
Log line: A duck tires of doing chores on the farm, organizes an election and defeats
Farmer Brown by one vote. After he realizes that running a farm is no fun, he runs for
governor, wins, makes the same discovery about the lack of fun and then runs for president.

Writer: Doreen Cronin (author)
Agent: n/a
Buyer: Paramount Pictures and Nickelodeon Movies
Price: n/a
Genre: Children’s Comedy
Logged: 5/10/04
More: Book. Illustrations by Betsy Lewin.

Report by J. Roskin

______________________

May 2004

Title: Death, Jr.
Log Line: A teenage kid, who just wants to be normal, finds it difficult because he is the
offspring of the Grim Reaper. His middle-school buddies include Pandora, who is afflicted
by the constant need to open boxes, and Stigmartha, whose hands bleed when she gets
nervous.
Writer: n/a
Agent: n/a
Buyer: Circle of Confusion
Price: n/a
Genre: Drama Horror
Logged: 5/12/04
More: To be based on Backbone Entertainment's forthcoming videogame. Orange
Grove Entertainment's Larry Guterman will produce. Orange Grove Entertainment's
Holly Rawlinson and Circle of Confusion's David Alpert, Lawrence Mattis, David Engel &
Jason Lust will co-produce. Larry Guterman will direct.

Title: The Wife's Away
Log line: A bored husband gets more than he bargained for when his wife leaves him alone
for the weekend.
Writer: Mike Reiss
Agent: Jordan Bayer of Original Artists
Buyer: DreamWorks
Price: Mid-six figures
Genre: Comedy
Logged: 5/12/04
More: Adam Goodman will oversee the project.

It's like if Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett crashed into each other, and all the humor went away and crawled into a corner and died and rotted.