Use a sport to describe your sexual performance.

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mine is Pool. I'm not a great pool player, but i do like to play and can occasionally do a good fluke shot.

Xtra points for odd sports (eg curling)

― Robbie Lumsden (Wallace Stevens HQ), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Golf, because I grip my club firmly with both hands

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:15 (twenty-one years ago)

LAWN DARTS

― gygax! (gygax!), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Soccer (football to all non-americans), because it's always played in teams and hand usage is limited.

― Felonious Drunk (Felcher), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:17 (twenty-one years ago)

soccer, difficult to enjoy due to emotional investment.

― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:18 (twenty-one years ago)

russian roulette

― dyson (dyson), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:18 (twenty-one years ago)

hockey, but I don't receive any penalties for roughing

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Weight lifting - a snatch, a quick jerk, game over.

― penelope_111, Monday, 3 May 2004 20:20 (twenty-one years ago)

alternately, when my self esteem is low, it's wrestling, because it might seem like quite a spectacle, but i know it's all fake.

― Felonious Drunk (Felcher), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:20 (twenty-one years ago)

pole vault.

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:21 (twenty-one years ago)

whoa Nicole!

― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:21 (twenty-one years ago)

these are all excellent.

― Robbie Lumsden (Wallace Stevens HQ), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Car racing: There are benefits to a quick fumble down the straightaway.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:21 (twenty-one years ago)

LAWN DARTS

Because people have suffered serious head injuries? People are trying to outlaw it?

― j.lu (j.lu), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:22 (twenty-one years ago)

(It would appear that way, way upthread there's a singular post from a truly exceptional long-distance fucker!)

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:22 (twenty-one years ago)

cricket, cos it lasts for fucking days

― sting (ken c), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:23 (twenty-one years ago)

golf, because i can't stop laughing

― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:23 (twenty-one years ago)

LAWN DARTS
Because people have suffered serious head injuries? People are trying to outlaw it?

-- j.lu (jlut...), May 3rd, 2004 2:22 PM.

Because it hasn't gotten any play since the 80s.

― gygax! (gygax!), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Badminton. Rules and technique notwithstanding, in my experience it's a pair of fules fumbling around after that elusive little thing, and maybe enjoying it in the process.

― j.lu (j.lu), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:24 (twenty-one years ago)

curling

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:25 (twenty-one years ago)

To me, it's a combination of cricket and sumo. Cricket in that I have no idea what's going on and sumo 'cause after all the foreplay, it's over so fast.

― Michael White (Hereward), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:25 (twenty-one years ago)

I didn't think anyone ever played lawn darts

― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Basketball, because there's nothing sweeter than that "swish" sound you make when you score.

― Barry Bruner (Barry Bruner), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:26 (twenty-one years ago)

and j.lu wins. thanks for playing. you can redeem your tickets at the prize booth.

― Felonious Drunk (Felcher), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:26 (twenty-one years ago)

you're gonna have to defend curling, strongo....

― Robbie Lumsden (Wallace Stevens HQ), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:26 (twenty-one years ago)

synchronized disappointment

― m. (mitchlnw), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:26 (twenty-one years ago)

i think my grandma did, ronan

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:26 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.travelodge.com/Travelodge/images/soccer.gif

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:27 (twenty-one years ago)

rugby because all i ever manage are tries.

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:28 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.queenstribune.com/archives/nfparchive/2000/0921/nfp1-0921.gif

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:28 (twenty-one years ago)

actually i was thinking more croquet because there's a lot of bending over and balls slapping together

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:29 (twenty-one years ago)

golf, because i can't stop laughing

two long-distance fuXors on one and the same thread!...

oh ilxormen, yer reach and grasp maketh me speechlesss, not to mentioned much humbled.

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:30 (twenty-one years ago)

when drunk, it's like water skiing, because if i let my attention drift for just a second i'm done for.

― Felonious Drunk (Felcher), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Anyone answering this question with a modicum of seriousness worries me.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:31 (twenty-one years ago)

haha ned you said "modicum"

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:32 (twenty-one years ago)

mine is technically serious

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:32 (twenty-one years ago)

any olympic event, because it happens roughly every four years

― mark p (Mark P), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:32 (twenty-one years ago)

i think it's necessary to be half joking....always half...a joke...

― Robbie Lumsden (Wallace Stevens HQ), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:32 (twenty-one years ago)

haha ned you said "modicum"

Well yes!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:33 (twenty-one years ago)

im still waiting for someone to post something worthy of the potential that the "mechanical bull" exudes.

― Felonious Drunk (Felcher), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Better to laugh than cry about your sex life.

― j.lu (j.lu), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:33 (twenty-one years ago)

What, I'm always getting thrown by some bovine automaton?

― Michael White (Hereward), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Mine was nowhere near serious, but I have to make my hockey jokes whenever possible.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:41 (twenty-one years ago)

hockey, because i'm pretty good in the slot but get penalized in the crease

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:48 (twenty-one years ago)

crew, because of the wee cox

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:49 (twenty-one years ago)

curling, because I hire two people to furiously scrub the playing surface before my shot hits it

― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:50 (twenty-one years ago)

hurdles, cos i rarely get my leg over

― don (don), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:51 (twenty-one years ago)

oh actually yeah, mostly tossing the caber

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:51 (twenty-one years ago)

the uneven bars, just ask any of my exes

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:52 (twenty-one years ago)

australian rules football

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 3 May 2004 20:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 76 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

you don't understand

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 01:35 (twenty-one years ago)

GoldenEye - you can always play by yourself, but it's better with a group

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 01:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Andrew Farrell painfully OTM

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 01:39 (twenty-one years ago)

yup

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 02:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Rodeo, because if I last longer than eight seconds I consider it a success.

― antexit (antexit), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 07:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Rugby: a quick up-and-under and you get to scream "Mark!"

― C J (C J), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 07:30 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm trying to think of a sport which combines Space Hoppers with the breast-stroke. I can't.

― Rumpy Pumpkin (rumpypumpkin), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 08:46 (twenty-one years ago)

asshopping

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 08:47 (twenty-one years ago)

There are only three sports; hunting, shooting, and fishing. The rest are just games.

― Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 08:55 (twenty-one years ago)

backgammon

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 08:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I was gonna say Trivial Pursuit.

― Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 08:59 (twenty-one years ago)

boggle

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 08:59 (twenty-one years ago)

patience

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 09:03 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm losing my

― the surface noise (electricsound), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 09:23 (twenty-one years ago)

guess who?

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 09:27 (twenty-one years ago)

marathon, hur hur hur.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 09:27 (twenty-one years ago)

If we're allowed board-sports, I'd say Simpsons Monopoly - I know people into The Simpsons, and I know people who like monopoly, but I've not yet found anyone who thinks combining the two would be a good idea.

"Proper" sports - hmmm. Does semaphore count?

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 10:15 (twenty-one years ago)

skateboarding.

― g-kit (g-kit), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 10:52 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm so waiting for CRW to turn up.

― Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 10:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Horse racing (again), because you have to hold on tight and try to finish first. Er.

― C J (C J), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 11:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Ballroom dancing - wearing fancy dress, listening to crap music and following a man's lead.

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 12:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Archery, for I finger the quills before I let loose my volley.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 13:09 (twenty-one years ago)

And also skydiving, for I leap into it hoping I don't make a big splat on the ground.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 13:10 (twenty-one years ago)

QUILLS???? Stay away, man-cat.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 13:10 (twenty-one years ago)

A game of squash : because it leaves me breathless, bruised and perspiring. With a twisted ankle.

― C J (C J), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 13:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Hackysack, because I LIKE TO FUCK.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 13:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Not because it's a bunch of people kicking and kneeing a beanbag?

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 13:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Not because it's a bunch of people kicking and kneeing a beanbag?

Reading some of these replies, I can't help but think that I'm having a completely different sort of sex from the rest of you and I don't know how worried I should be.

― C J (C J), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 13:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Not because it's a bunch of people kicking and kneeing a beanbag?
I think only strongo's into that.

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 13:55 (twenty-one years ago)

......and you know this how?

― C J (C J), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 13:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Knees Across America

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 13:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Basketball, there's lots of dribbling and turnovers.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 14:00 (twenty-one years ago)

I know a girl named America. (seriously)

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 14:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Tennis. Because I've got a good forehand stroke, I spend a lot of time trying to get my shots in the box, and my balls go everywhere.

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 14:17 (twenty-one years ago)

I already regret writing that...

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 14:17 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't regret your writing that.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 14:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Any sport that is untimed.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 14:30 (twenty-one years ago)

horse racing, because many rich businessmen bet on my performance

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 14:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Snooker.

― Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 14:39 (twenty-one years ago)

i barely know her

― mark p (Mark P), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 14:41 (twenty-one years ago)

She won't mind.

― Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 14:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Tiddleywinks. Flipping. Receptacle. Boring.

― penelope_111, Tuesday, 4 May 2004 14:57 (twenty-one years ago)

slo-pitch, because it's just an excuse to drink beer outside wearing sweatpants.

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 14:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Horseshoes, a sport in which bad aim = HURTING.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 14:59 (twenty-one years ago)

high school football, because you get shower with a bunch of dudes afterwards

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 15:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Ice hockey: trying to do this difficult task and its all slippery and where's the little rubber thingy and make sure to keep hold of the stick and meanwhile somebody's coming up fast just to fuck with you, and hey, ref, can I just get a damn CALL here!!

― briania, Tuesday, 4 May 2004 15:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Broomball, because it only looks like housework!

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 15:06 (twenty-one years ago)

LAWN DARTS
Because people have suffered serious head injuries? People are trying to outlaw it?
-- j.lu (jlut...), May 3rd, 2004 2:22 PM.
Because it hasn't gotten any play since the 80s.

-- gygax! (gygax0...), May 3rd, 2004. (gygax!)

I just inherited a set of Jarts this weekend!

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 20:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Solitaire.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 08:53 (twenty-one years ago)

eew you had sex with your dead relatives?

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 09:24 (twenty-one years ago)

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