Masticator, please lick this bread: Annoying ways of eating

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I'm Colin and I am an annoying eater. I am loud.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Thursday, 6 May 2004 02:25 (twenty-one years ago)

I am fussy and I trim.

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 6 May 2004 02:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Hypocritically, other people annoy me when they eat. Especially people whose jaws click or who make wet smacking noises. With their lips, I mean.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Thursday, 6 May 2004 02:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Scraping plates with cutlery. I hate it but I can't stop doing it, and they get cross if I use my tongue.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 6 May 2004 02:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Masturbator, please leak this bed
Medicator, please look this head
Melon-taster, please lurk this thread
Master-racer, please lack this cred
Emolliater, please locate Ned
Margater, please leek this spread
Matter-creator, please like this dead
Mad-Orator pleae luck this dread
Muckraker please lake this shed

― omg, Thursday, 6 May 2004 02:56 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm almost certain I annoy people by playing around endlessly with my food. It is because I'm so neurotic that I can't take a bite unless I'm sure that absolutely no one is looking at me.

― Dan I. (Dan I.), Thursday, 6 May 2004 02:57 (twenty-one years ago)

i always eat all the chocolate off magnums or heaven bars before touching the ice cream

― the 'surface' 'noise' (electricsound), Thursday, 6 May 2004 02:58 (twenty-one years ago)

I have a way of shoving more food than is humanly possible in my mouth at one given time, then wind up getting it all throughout my mustache and beard

― uh (eetface), Thursday, 6 May 2004 02:58 (twenty-one years ago)

I used to inhale my food in about a quarter of the time it took anyone else to finish theirs. I think I've managed to slow down lately, though.

― the krza (krza), Thursday, 6 May 2004 03:02 (twenty-one years ago)

the only thing I inhale is the alcohol, especially gin and tonics. I down those so quick, my head hates me for it.

― uh (eetface), Thursday, 6 May 2004 03:07 (twenty-one years ago)

My father has an echoing jaw.
My Father + Cornflakes= Hades

― Nellie (nellskies), Thursday, 6 May 2004 03:25 (twenty-one years ago)

I won't eat cereal until I am 100% certain that every falke is covered in milk, so I poke it for about 5 minutes with my spoon before eating.

Also, I like to eat those mini boxes of Sun Maid raisins by pushing my finger through the bottom flap and squishing all of the raisins into my mouth at once.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Thursday, 6 May 2004 03:28 (twenty-one years ago)

falke?

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Thursday, 6 May 2004 03:28 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.polkonline.com/images/030801/peter-falk.jpg

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 6 May 2004 03:45 (twenty-one years ago)

People who mix the food on their plate drive me insane.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Thursday, 6 May 2004 11:11 (twenty-one years ago)

whenever i used to have ice cream in a bowl with topping i'd have to mix it all up together in a homogenous paste before i'd eat it

― the 'surface' 'noise' (electricsound), Thursday, 6 May 2004 11:11 (twenty-one years ago)

into

― the 'surface' 'noise' (electricsound), Thursday, 6 May 2004 11:12 (twenty-one years ago)

And you lick the chocolate off ice cream. You are orally fixated at the age of four and I claim my prize.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Thursday, 6 May 2004 11:17 (twenty-one years ago)

I finish food first. I defy all comers. No-one has ever finished a plate of food before me.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Thursday, 6 May 2004 11:18 (twenty-one years ago)

orally fixated? that would explain the chewed pen lids and cigarettes

― the 'surface' 'noise' (electricsound), Thursday, 6 May 2004 11:19 (twenty-one years ago)

All pen lids are to be chewed. I think this is self-evident.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Thursday, 6 May 2004 11:20 (twenty-one years ago)

a friend of mine chews with his mouth open and makes smacking noises when he eats. I want to punch him.

― Chris 'The Velvet Bingo' V (Chris V), Thursday, 6 May 2004 11:20 (twenty-one years ago)

I have had to ask my mother to stop eating bananas while she talks to me on the phone.

― Madchen (Madchen), Thursday, 6 May 2004 11:22 (twenty-one years ago)

How about people who eat each part of their meal completely before moving onto the next part? Like finishing every bit of your rice before eating your chicken. My uncle does that, it's bizarre if I actually start noticing it.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 6 May 2004 11:24 (twenty-one years ago)

i used to do that but i've moved on

― the 'surface' 'noise' (electricsound), Thursday, 6 May 2004 11:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Lipsmacking: annoying as all hell.
Licking an ice cream cone: kinda nasty when you think about it. Salivating all over it and spreading it around with your tongue... Of course, if you have good control over your glands, not so bad..
Scraping the bottom of the bowl repeatedly for the last traces of soup/ice cream/gruel/goulash: desperate, like an animal. My neighbor at work does this every day.

― dave225 (Dave225), Thursday, 6 May 2004 11:34 (twenty-one years ago)

I NEVER eat one food and then move on to another, I have little piece of everything on my fork (and I work out the ratios and shit so it's all equal right to the end!!) People who eat only one type of food at a time are mentalists - me I'm, completely sane.....

― smee (smee), Thursday, 6 May 2004 11:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Jaffa cakes: I have to pick off the chocolate and eat that first, then roll up the smashing orangey bit in the middle and eat that next, then I dunk the sponge bit in my tea. I am a peasant.

― C J (C J), Thursday, 6 May 2004 11:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm a bit like that with Mars bars too, btw

― C J (C J), Thursday, 6 May 2004 11:57 (twenty-one years ago)

KitKat: nibble chocolate off outside, then scoff wafer. Obv.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 6 May 2004 11:58 (twenty-one years ago)

People who dunk KitKats into tea or coffee so that the chocolate melts are just mental. It's very wrong.

― C J (C J), Thursday, 6 May 2004 12:01 (twenty-one years ago)

No no no CJ, you eat the sponge first, nibble off the chocolate then sook the orangey bit until it melts away in yer gob....

― smee (smee), Thursday, 6 May 2004 12:02 (twenty-one years ago)

You're mad, smee!

― C J (C J), Thursday, 6 May 2004 12:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm totally with Smee.

― Madchen (Madchen), Thursday, 6 May 2004 12:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Except for the even eating, which is madness. Eat the worst thing first, then the next worst thing, keep going until you've just got the best thing left!

― Madchen (Madchen), Thursday, 6 May 2004 12:18 (twenty-one years ago)

b-b-buy Madchen, it's the combination of tastes you need not plain bland food on its own!!!

Mmmmm, I just happened to have a wee pack of mini jaffa cakes in my drawer o' food, I am nibbling away right now....

― smee (smee), Thursday, 6 May 2004 12:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Threadslike this always make me feel so much better about myself, as they make it abundantly clear that I AM NOWHERE NEAR AS FUCKING CATSHIT INSANE AS THE REST OF YOU.

― Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Thursday, 6 May 2004 12:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm only moderately bothered by soup slurping. Otherwise, in my presence, please feel free to lip-smack, talk with a mouthful of food, mix food, segregate food, do whatever it takes, but slurping your soup? DON'T TRY IT.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 6 May 2004 12:50 (twenty-one years ago)

also see "people who don't drink their beverages until they're done with the meal" (that's just weiiiird)

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 6 May 2004 13:12 (twenty-one years ago)

one year passes...

In light of all of the annoying food related threads today, this has been bugging me and I've seen more than one person do it ...

After the dishes are cleared (or maybe they're still there and they have a bunch of nasty leavings all over them) and you're sitting there talking, people who press their fingers on the remaining crumbs and then eat the crumb/seed off of their finger. The eating off the finger doesn't bother me nearly as much as the picking it up off the table (and in a restaurant, you don't know how clean the table is -'specially when it's formica) . But the eating off the finger does bother me a little because #1 you've already eaten - it's time to stop now, and #2 it's just a little crumb and it has no flavor or nutritional value.

― Dave will do (dave225.3), Friday, 3 March 2006 19:20 (nineteen years ago)

I watched in fascination once as a co-worker did this after donuts. What he thought was powdered sugar was bits of ceiling tile.

― Jaq (Jaq), Friday, 3 March 2006 19:25 (nineteen years ago)

priceless!

― Dave will do (dave225.3), Friday, 3 March 2006 19:25 (nineteen years ago)

I do that. What is with people who have three things on their plate - say, steak, beans and carrots - and methodically eat them in order? BLEND THE FLAVOURS A LITTLE YOU IDIOTS.

― ratty, Friday, 3 March 2006 20:41 (nineteen years ago)

You could be like a grammaw and just stir everything together before you eat it. That is a flavor blend for sure.

― Abbott (Abbott), Friday, 3 March 2006 20:43 (nineteen years ago)

I have never seen anyone do what Dave describes.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 3 March 2006 20:48 (nineteen years ago)

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