wheres thatthread about ending friendships ( as opposed to relationships) ?

I've never experienced an friendship ending abruptly. Usually they just slowly fade out: you contact a friend less and less often, until you realize you haven't seen her in a year or so. That's when you have to admit it's hardly a "friendship" anymore.

It's funny. On the few times that I have actually "broken up with" a friend, gone through the whole stating that it was happening, talking about it, giving my reasons, etc, it's ended up in a horrible, horrible fight and a mess and awfulness.

I've learned that when I want to "break up with" a friend, avoidance is a good thing. Absence makes the heart grow fond, and time and distance make you able to see the friendship and the friend in a more even light. If you still have something in common, you'll end up coming back together and talking it out when you have some perspective. If you have actually grown apart, then the growing apart thing will become obvious more naturally.

I've been on both sides. It does hurt when a person suddenly just stops returning your phone calls or your emails, or even stops going to the places/doing the things you both used to do, but it does kind of make you sit down and think about what went wrong, and perhaps evaluate your own behaviour.