Taking Sides: Chuck Norris Vs Chow Yun Fat Vs A Big Panda Vs "Macho Man" Randy Savage (in a fight)

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I'm going with the panda.

― CRW (CRW), Friday, 7 May 2004 22:37 (twenty-one years ago)

You would.

― deanomgwtf!!!p%3Fmsgid%3D4581997 (deangulberry), Friday, 7 May 2004 22:41 (twenty-one years ago)

panda's are notoriously lazy, c-man. you'd have a better evening w/ any of the other three.

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 7 May 2004 22:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Do you often 'go' with pandas CRW?

― Patrick Kinghorn, Friday, 7 May 2004 22:42 (twenty-one years ago)

No, pandas are highly endangered. Lazy they might be, but they take no shit once stirred (i've heard they are far more intelligent than Chuck Norris and Randy Savage though).

― CRW (CRW), Friday, 7 May 2004 22:43 (twenty-one years ago)

this is because of fajitas, isn't it?

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 7 May 2004 22:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Andrea Dworkin could beat up all four I bet.

― CRW (CRW), Friday, 7 May 2004 23:04 (twenty-one years ago)

*gasp* You mean Andrea Dworkin gets your goat?
You're a new type of man Calum, one i've never come across before.
How long did it take to come up with this personality? So many juicy contradictions! You should the talk curcuit. An original creation like that - BAM. You'd clean up.

― Patrick Kinghorn, Friday, 7 May 2004 23:20 (twenty-one years ago)

go, and read dworkin.

― g--ff (gcannon), Friday, 7 May 2004 23:21 (twenty-one years ago)

WTF is this all about?

― CRW (CRW), Friday, 7 May 2004 23:30 (twenty-one years ago)

A fair question.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 7 May 2004 23:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Look, technically Dworkin would take them all (except the panda which she'd try and copulate with seeing as she how she likes bestiality anyway. The idiot).

Seriously, she's bite yer nuts off she would!

― CRW (CRW), Friday, 7 May 2004 23:35 (twenty-one years ago)

I think Chow Yun Fat got his start as an actor rather than a martial artist, and I'm not quite sure how good he actually is - not in the Jet Li class, certainly, nor as cute, though he is a slightly stronger actor, I think, with more presence. I don't know that Chow could take Chuck (if we are talking Chuck in his prime, when he was very good). Last I saw of Randy was his small role in the Spidey movie, and he looked very old. Even in his prime I doubt he was in this league.

I have no idea how good pandas are at fighting. They are big and strong, but I suspect not fast or skilled.

xpost, but I won't abandon the attempt to address this seriously, even if it plainly no longer deserves what tiny respect it might have started with...

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 7 May 2004 23:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Shit Martin, I just noticed you have an email addy that pays homage to one of the finest movie series ever.

― CRW (CRW), Friday, 7 May 2004 23:45 (twenty-one years ago)

More the comic series, as it happens - I've sadly never seen any of the movies, and only one episode of the TV show, but the comics are among my favourites ever.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 8 May 2004 08:25 (twenty-one years ago)

There is no question that the panda would eat the rest for breakfast. If it comes down to the humans in their prime, though I think Savage would have the edge. I'm not convinced that either Norris or Fat are very skilled fighters. Practicioners of kick and punch based systems (Norris et al.) tend to get demolished when faced with a competent grappler and sheer bulk counts for a great deal in these situations.

― Alan Stewarm, Saturday, 8 May 2004 09:31 (twenty-one years ago)

But the panda could sustain a lot of damage from kicks, punches, flying elbows, etc. And Macho Man can forget about the su-plex. I think the panda would get very mad, but I don't know what kind of offence it has - does it have big claws? I bet it has a pretty nasty bite, and it could probably break limbs pretty easily.

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Saturday, 8 May 2004 09:52 (twenty-one years ago)

So yeah - panda wins!

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Saturday, 8 May 2004 09:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Wasn't Chuck Norris genuinely a champion martial artist? I thought he was.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 8 May 2004 10:53 (twenty-one years ago)

But the things that make you a champion martial artists aren't the things that make you a great fighter, is what Alan is saying (I think).

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Saturday, 8 May 2004 11:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Chuck Norris will dazzle them with his incredible acting skills, then register them all to vote

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Saturday, 8 May 2004 11:44 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm not sure that makes a lot of sense, Andrew - the skills of competitive martial arts and the skills of fighting obviously overlap hugely. Alan said he wasn't convinced Norris was a skilled fighter, and I suspect he actually means he doesn't realise that he was a champion fighter, not just an actor who made it look good.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 8 May 2004 12:24 (twenty-one years ago)

I should have said "necessarily". Success in Martial Arts isn't dependent on being able to batter your opponent unconscious, but on style and technique (among other things). For example, a boxer isn't used to people catching his punches, so may be at a disadvantage in a rules-less fight over someone who can.

I assumed from the word practicioner that Adam was fairly familiar with Chuck Norris - I may be wrong.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Saturday, 8 May 2004 13:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Chuck Norris is pretty hard, and with a swift roundhouse he might take out the panda, but with two others on his back I'm not so sure. The problem is that Chuck is also pretty thick (he likes Bush for a start) so I'm not so certain he'd go for the panda first. Panda's have sharp claws and nasty teeth, you just don't want to mess with them. Strong roundhouse or not, I think the Panda wins this.

― CRW (CRW), Saturday, 8 May 2004 13:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Chow Yun Fat would just pull out a pair of 9 mm and blast all these fuckers, end of contest.

― David Beckhouse (David Beckhouse), Saturday, 8 May 2004 16:58 (twenty-one years ago)

And then eat the panda.

― omg, Saturday, 8 May 2004 17:07 (twenty-one years ago)

I have no idea how good pandas are at fighting.

"Beat the game with 17 characters, then highlight Kuma and press Circle or X"

― JimD (JimD), Sunday, 9 May 2004 09:30 (twenty-one years ago)

three years pass...

poll!

― 597, Saturday, 16 June 2007 13:40 (eighteen years ago)

eight years pass...

Has anyone seen Chow Yun-Fat in "From Vegas to Macau"? Thinking of seeing it in DC tomorrow night

― curmudgeon, Thursday, 23 July 2015 20:23 (ten years ago)

I know, there's already a sequel out

― curmudgeon, Thursday, 23 July 2015 20:26 (ten years ago)

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