lonely in the big city

I'd bet the same sort of thing applies to your job situation. If you've been unemployed, have you done anything worthwhile with the time? Took classes? Volunteered anywhere? Work a few days a week at a local charity or something and actually get things done and put them on your resume.

I dunno if I'm passive myself. Submissive, certainly, but I dunno about passive.

I had a fairly mild case of this a while back since a good friend moved away for the year, and I then realised how many nights out were just myself and him, drinking, or just watching TV or whatever. It became clear that although I considered myself part of a group of friends I didn't see the others as much as I thought.

In the end all I did was just mention it to another friend in our group who I get along with very well, basically that alot of fridays I'd have no idea what was going down or where people were at and it was difficult being the one ringing around all the time, particularly when you could ring 3 people and all would be working or out somewhere else. At the same time the rest of my friends would be out somewhere.

I don't know if he told the others or what but I've not really had the problem since, I mean if your friends aren't ringing you on purpose then that's bad and maybe you need to do an activity or something. But it's more likely they might think you're doing something else, it turns out in my case they figured I was out clubbing or something. Oddly when there was less clubbing to do and I needed them more this happened!

It's best to approach one of your friends on a one to one basis, just say you end up really bored alot of weekends or whatever, approach the friend you're closest to.

I spent several years globetrotting, and arriving somwhere new as a virtual stranger where you have to make the effort to find somewhere to stay, get a job of some sort, carve out a social life etc, it became second nature after a while to instigate and maintain friendships wherever I went rather than be content to stay in the same old rut grumbling about things.

Ronan's thing about his best mate who went away strikes a nerve; I had something similar happen. It's sort of like breaking up.

It'll get better, that's all I can say.

I also find that small town folx, while no less cliquish, seem to be looking to make new friends. New faces and personalities might compensate for the lack of diversity and excitement the town itself has to offer.

On the other hand, all the good bands are here.

Edinburgh is the loneliest city

Is Urban Loneliness a Myth?

if i'd moved to my city and lived alone, i'd probably wither and die of loneliness! but if you already live there and just move into an apartment by yourself, while having some kind of network of family/friends/co-workers you like/other students you like/church people you like/whatever, is probably a totally different situation.

Lonely.

aw

:(

Anyone want to start a band?

we can call it... lonely dudes with poor social skills.

Well that wasn't trying very hard.

besides, its kind of implied

Ok, sure. And every song we record we'll just awkwardly stop mid song and say "whats the use.." with audible frustrated getting up and walking away from mic noises.

think baout it

this town... is a lonely town

hugz ian

this is going to be me, again, in a week, for a year. :-(

what town will you be in, in a week?

hate this...it prob is inevitable some weekends, but I realised that I hang out with the same best friend (plus whoever else we then run into) every weekend. he's away this weekend and i've had such a tedious time, it's really sunny outside and i'd love to be doing something but nobody around, and I'm not in the habit of contacting loads of different people as a result of hanging with that one friend. during the week i socialise with work a lot.

but yeah......this SUCKS. need to do more activities or hobbies, it's severely depressing when you have nobody to hang out with.